*~*Disclaimer!!*~* Don't own Farscape, never have, never WILL, but I do own Solaris. I give full credit where it's due, yadda, yadda, yadda...
"Pilot... Uhhhhhnnnnnnn... next time, remind me to buckle up my seatbelt before a frelling starburst..." Groaned Solaris, her mousy brown hair covering her face like a veil, leaving her resembling something quite like Swamp Thing. "And remind me not to be anywhere near Rygel..." Her last words were squeaked out, as the effects of Rygel's 'no-less-than-open' disgusting habits as he let off helium.
"You Sebacean little bitch..." Muttered the Dominar, who had been thrown off his chair and had his fall broken by the middle of Solaris's back.
"Speak for yourself you helium little fart bag..." She growled back, her sapphire eyes narrowing in rage. "Say that again and you just might never make it to Moya's kitchen again..."
"Oh, I'm so scared. Help me, D'Argo." The Hynerian mimicked fright, putting his stubby little arms as best he could in front of his face. "Help me, D'Argo. Solaris is going to kill me."
"PILOT!!!!!! Is there ANY chance we can swing by Earth to pick up a good ol' roll of that big, shiny, sticky strips of plastic we all know and love: DUCT TAPE?"
"I'm sorry Officer Crichton, but as of right now, we will not be going anywhere..."
"What? Why not?" Scowling at the Hynerian on her back, Solaris swooped her arm backward, sweeping Rygel off as the brown-haired woman pushed her self up to her feet.
"It seems that Moya's burned herself out slightly from starbursting away so quickly, and at the speed she was traveling, it is no wonder."
In reply, D'Argo's masculine voice sounded from the comm. system. "Pilot, how fast can Moya fix the problem?"
"I'm... not sure D'Argo..."
"Well, get it fixed QUICKLY Pilot! We'll need Moya's afterburners if we're going to get more unwelcome visitors." The woman began to trudge through the halls, back the way she came to get to the helm of the ship. Before she reached the door, a frantic hand grasped her from another hallway, and the gnarled, grimy form of Noranti pulled her off track.
"ACK! Jeez woman, you could have just warned me..."
"Shh! Shh! No talking from you! It's time." The older female looked pale and stricken, deadly serious. "You asked of your birth, and now's the time to tell."
"What? NOW? Why didn't you tell me before? Why now?"
"Because now it the time you need to know, now that you've discovered the wormhole technologies stored in your brain." She paced nervously. "If Scorpius ever caught you off guard, oh... I don't even want to think of that!"
Solaris grimaced, horrified. "Yeah, you make a good point... even though I have no idea what my birth has ANYTHING to do with Scorpy..."
"Do you have any idea how complex your birth was?"
"Umm... no, only that it wasn't NATURAL."
Noranti rolled her eyes, exasperated. "We were lucky we even found you, fully encased in a crystal that was once part of your mother..."
Throwing her hands up, the younger of the two balked. "WHOA! WHOA! HEY! This isn't going to get disgusting, is it?"
"Well it shouldn't."
"Oh, well then, continue."
As the two talked of things of old, they aimlessly paced around the halls, walking steadily. "Solaris, do you remember a woman named Jool?"
Vague images of a green-eyed, red haired siren filled the human Sabaceanoid's head. "With a deadly scream? Yep, I remember... or rather, Daddy did... or Mother..." She frowned, confused. "Wait, is it that I don't remember and my parents do? Or is it that I remember because they did?" Moaning slightly, her petite hand went immediately to her forehead. "Oh man, this stuff's going to give me a headache..."
"May we continue with the conversation?"
"Oh! Yeah! Go ahead! Shoot."
Noranti sighed, blinking rapidly. "When we found you, we began to realize we had no idea how to keep you alive. But then Stark reached a marvelous conclusion: encase you in Jool's suspension pod until you were 'born' so to speak."
Solaris looked at the old woman in disbelief. "So you're saying you stuck me in a pod and just cooked me until I was done like Ms. Poppin' Fresh? That's insane!"
"Your whole birth was insane, as you so aptly put it."
"Oh, THANK YOU GRANDMA for understanding!!!" The younger female threw her hands up in the air, gesturing with her theatrics. "Well thank you for telling me the story of my birth. Now I can go safely back to my room and puke at the thought of actually remembering how I went THROUGH that..." Forgetting about going back to the helm of the ship, she walked back to her quarters, and gazed back at Noranti, a look of skeptism evident on Solaris's face. "I'll have to think about this for awhile..."
"Take all the time you need..." Was her reply, as the two women went their separate ways, one to the east, and the other to the west.
*~*~*~*~*16 years before*~*~*~*~*
John Crichton, with his usual casual swagger, paced back and forth in front of a piece of scrap metal deep in thought. The figures scribbled into it were very much detailed, yet random patterns of numbers, symbols and letters arranged into quadratic formulas that only he seemed to understand. Concentrating hard, his blue eyes scanned over every inch, making sure not to miss a single detail. "It would be easier to figure out this stuff without this frelling headache..." He muttered under his breath as he rubbed his eyes with his hand, wishing he was with Aeryn instead of this little plate in the hangar bay.
"Need some help, John?" D'Argo's voice came from behind the brown haired man, a welcome comfort to him.
"Hey D. I'd love the help if you got the same wormhole techno crap in your head as me, cause I need to figure this stupid thing out. If no on both parts, I'm screwed."
"Well, why don't you explain a bit of it to me?"
John sighed, already worn on his last nerve. "Well, you want the long version or the short version?"
"What's the difference?"
The human man smirked. "The longer one'll be so long, borin' and complicated your brains'll explode like a land mine."
D'Argo laughed. "Then give me the shorter version."
"Ok..." Standing closer to the metal scrap, he pointed with his left index finger at one point on the surface of it. "Using this formula..." He pointed again, this time to another area on the scrap. "...and this one..." He pointed again. "...and THIS one, I'm supposed to produce a damned wormhole."
His companion frowned. "John, if you have the figures to do it, then it shouldn't be all that hard to make a wormhole, right?"
"D, that's not the point. I got all the frelling pieces to the puzzle except for one." The commander scuffed his shoe. "And here I was always getting A's in Trigonometry..."
"Tri-tri-tri-gah-nom-it-tree?"
John scowled, "Its math with triangles, D. Every single equation has three parts to it: one A, one B, and both those are equal, greater or less than C. thing is, I got C, I got A, but no frelling B!!!!" He paced around angrily. "I know what HAPPENS when you get shot through a wormhole, I know it has something to do with TIME, but who the frell knows what B is????"
D'Argo stood contemplating, his hand holding onto his chin. "Well, what kinds of things do you have to have in order to create a wormhole?"
His friend smirked, boyish playfulness playing across his eyes. "Well you have to think about this, Einstein. Space and time are relative to each other. That's how Moya can starburst so quickly. And to get from point A to point B in the quickest time, you gotta draw a straight line."
"Alright..."
"So, in conclusion, you have to rip a hole in time to cover a span of space. So, to get from point A to point B, you need to move THROUGH TIME in order to move the BIGGEST distance in the SHORTEST TIME!!" He spread his arms wide to enhance the key words he said, not even bothering to watch where he was spreading them to, or what was in the bronze colored bowl he tipped over and clattered to the floor.
The Luxan frowned. "So then, what's the problem? You know you have to rip a hole in time to get through to a specific space. What's keeping you from that?"
Running his hands through his hair, John continued to pace around, until he sighed and stopped, waving his index finger in the air. "I have absolutely no idea. I do know, however, that I'm gonna get one hell of a reward for this little 'Crichton's Law of Space and Time'. Hell, maybe even a damned Nobel Prize, how's that for ya?"
"John you're hopeless," Sighed D'Argo, fiddling with his tenkas. "I hope you do realize you might help everyone out by coming up with the answers to wormholes."
"Frell that D. The day I help someone out from this is the day someone actually understands this techno crap. Can't wait to see how long it takes to screw that up..."
"Pilot... Uhhhhhnnnnnnn... next time, remind me to buckle up my seatbelt before a frelling starburst..." Groaned Solaris, her mousy brown hair covering her face like a veil, leaving her resembling something quite like Swamp Thing. "And remind me not to be anywhere near Rygel..." Her last words were squeaked out, as the effects of Rygel's 'no-less-than-open' disgusting habits as he let off helium.
"You Sebacean little bitch..." Muttered the Dominar, who had been thrown off his chair and had his fall broken by the middle of Solaris's back.
"Speak for yourself you helium little fart bag..." She growled back, her sapphire eyes narrowing in rage. "Say that again and you just might never make it to Moya's kitchen again..."
"Oh, I'm so scared. Help me, D'Argo." The Hynerian mimicked fright, putting his stubby little arms as best he could in front of his face. "Help me, D'Argo. Solaris is going to kill me."
"PILOT!!!!!! Is there ANY chance we can swing by Earth to pick up a good ol' roll of that big, shiny, sticky strips of plastic we all know and love: DUCT TAPE?"
"I'm sorry Officer Crichton, but as of right now, we will not be going anywhere..."
"What? Why not?" Scowling at the Hynerian on her back, Solaris swooped her arm backward, sweeping Rygel off as the brown-haired woman pushed her self up to her feet.
"It seems that Moya's burned herself out slightly from starbursting away so quickly, and at the speed she was traveling, it is no wonder."
In reply, D'Argo's masculine voice sounded from the comm. system. "Pilot, how fast can Moya fix the problem?"
"I'm... not sure D'Argo..."
"Well, get it fixed QUICKLY Pilot! We'll need Moya's afterburners if we're going to get more unwelcome visitors." The woman began to trudge through the halls, back the way she came to get to the helm of the ship. Before she reached the door, a frantic hand grasped her from another hallway, and the gnarled, grimy form of Noranti pulled her off track.
"ACK! Jeez woman, you could have just warned me..."
"Shh! Shh! No talking from you! It's time." The older female looked pale and stricken, deadly serious. "You asked of your birth, and now's the time to tell."
"What? NOW? Why didn't you tell me before? Why now?"
"Because now it the time you need to know, now that you've discovered the wormhole technologies stored in your brain." She paced nervously. "If Scorpius ever caught you off guard, oh... I don't even want to think of that!"
Solaris grimaced, horrified. "Yeah, you make a good point... even though I have no idea what my birth has ANYTHING to do with Scorpy..."
"Do you have any idea how complex your birth was?"
"Umm... no, only that it wasn't NATURAL."
Noranti rolled her eyes, exasperated. "We were lucky we even found you, fully encased in a crystal that was once part of your mother..."
Throwing her hands up, the younger of the two balked. "WHOA! WHOA! HEY! This isn't going to get disgusting, is it?"
"Well it shouldn't."
"Oh, well then, continue."
As the two talked of things of old, they aimlessly paced around the halls, walking steadily. "Solaris, do you remember a woman named Jool?"
Vague images of a green-eyed, red haired siren filled the human Sabaceanoid's head. "With a deadly scream? Yep, I remember... or rather, Daddy did... or Mother..." She frowned, confused. "Wait, is it that I don't remember and my parents do? Or is it that I remember because they did?" Moaning slightly, her petite hand went immediately to her forehead. "Oh man, this stuff's going to give me a headache..."
"May we continue with the conversation?"
"Oh! Yeah! Go ahead! Shoot."
Noranti sighed, blinking rapidly. "When we found you, we began to realize we had no idea how to keep you alive. But then Stark reached a marvelous conclusion: encase you in Jool's suspension pod until you were 'born' so to speak."
Solaris looked at the old woman in disbelief. "So you're saying you stuck me in a pod and just cooked me until I was done like Ms. Poppin' Fresh? That's insane!"
"Your whole birth was insane, as you so aptly put it."
"Oh, THANK YOU GRANDMA for understanding!!!" The younger female threw her hands up in the air, gesturing with her theatrics. "Well thank you for telling me the story of my birth. Now I can go safely back to my room and puke at the thought of actually remembering how I went THROUGH that..." Forgetting about going back to the helm of the ship, she walked back to her quarters, and gazed back at Noranti, a look of skeptism evident on Solaris's face. "I'll have to think about this for awhile..."
"Take all the time you need..." Was her reply, as the two women went their separate ways, one to the east, and the other to the west.
*~*~*~*~*16 years before*~*~*~*~*
John Crichton, with his usual casual swagger, paced back and forth in front of a piece of scrap metal deep in thought. The figures scribbled into it were very much detailed, yet random patterns of numbers, symbols and letters arranged into quadratic formulas that only he seemed to understand. Concentrating hard, his blue eyes scanned over every inch, making sure not to miss a single detail. "It would be easier to figure out this stuff without this frelling headache..." He muttered under his breath as he rubbed his eyes with his hand, wishing he was with Aeryn instead of this little plate in the hangar bay.
"Need some help, John?" D'Argo's voice came from behind the brown haired man, a welcome comfort to him.
"Hey D. I'd love the help if you got the same wormhole techno crap in your head as me, cause I need to figure this stupid thing out. If no on both parts, I'm screwed."
"Well, why don't you explain a bit of it to me?"
John sighed, already worn on his last nerve. "Well, you want the long version or the short version?"
"What's the difference?"
The human man smirked. "The longer one'll be so long, borin' and complicated your brains'll explode like a land mine."
D'Argo laughed. "Then give me the shorter version."
"Ok..." Standing closer to the metal scrap, he pointed with his left index finger at one point on the surface of it. "Using this formula..." He pointed again, this time to another area on the scrap. "...and this one..." He pointed again. "...and THIS one, I'm supposed to produce a damned wormhole."
His companion frowned. "John, if you have the figures to do it, then it shouldn't be all that hard to make a wormhole, right?"
"D, that's not the point. I got all the frelling pieces to the puzzle except for one." The commander scuffed his shoe. "And here I was always getting A's in Trigonometry..."
"Tri-tri-tri-gah-nom-it-tree?"
John scowled, "Its math with triangles, D. Every single equation has three parts to it: one A, one B, and both those are equal, greater or less than C. thing is, I got C, I got A, but no frelling B!!!!" He paced around angrily. "I know what HAPPENS when you get shot through a wormhole, I know it has something to do with TIME, but who the frell knows what B is????"
D'Argo stood contemplating, his hand holding onto his chin. "Well, what kinds of things do you have to have in order to create a wormhole?"
His friend smirked, boyish playfulness playing across his eyes. "Well you have to think about this, Einstein. Space and time are relative to each other. That's how Moya can starburst so quickly. And to get from point A to point B in the quickest time, you gotta draw a straight line."
"Alright..."
"So, in conclusion, you have to rip a hole in time to cover a span of space. So, to get from point A to point B, you need to move THROUGH TIME in order to move the BIGGEST distance in the SHORTEST TIME!!" He spread his arms wide to enhance the key words he said, not even bothering to watch where he was spreading them to, or what was in the bronze colored bowl he tipped over and clattered to the floor.
The Luxan frowned. "So then, what's the problem? You know you have to rip a hole in time to get through to a specific space. What's keeping you from that?"
Running his hands through his hair, John continued to pace around, until he sighed and stopped, waving his index finger in the air. "I have absolutely no idea. I do know, however, that I'm gonna get one hell of a reward for this little 'Crichton's Law of Space and Time'. Hell, maybe even a damned Nobel Prize, how's that for ya?"
"John you're hopeless," Sighed D'Argo, fiddling with his tenkas. "I hope you do realize you might help everyone out by coming up with the answers to wormholes."
"Frell that D. The day I help someone out from this is the day someone actually understands this techno crap. Can't wait to see how long it takes to screw that up..."