Chapter One

"Kim! Kim get up!" I groan, exhaustion has completely taken over my body as my sister calls from the other side of my bedroom door. Sometimes I wonder if getting our own rooms was such a good idea, Jessica and I were a lot closer when we shared a room. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if we shared a room...no...I can't blame this pregnancy on the fact that Jessica and I don't share a room. This is my own mess and I have to figure out a way to clean it up.
"I want to sleep in!" I call back pulling my comforter over my shoulders.
"You have to get up," Jessica has pushed open the door now, "Mike has a hockey game and we are all going. Mom has breakfast ready so we can leave."
My stomach turns over at the thought of food, this was the clue that had set off my thoughts that had lead to buying the pregnancy test in the first place. "I'm not hungry," I respond quickly, "I'll get something at the game, I ran the concession stand last month I have food credit, I'm gonna get in the shower. Come get me when everyone is ready to leave."
Jessica shrugs in response, "okay. Are you okay?"
A take a deep breath against the rising nausea and nod, "I'm just tired. A problem that would be corrected if we could sleep in around here, instead of a sporting event every weekend."
Jessica's eyes go wide, she hadn't expected the onslaught, "okay then. I'm going to go down stairs, I'll come get you when we are ready to leave."

Once my sister is safely out of my room I fumble toward the bathroom just in time to empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl. Feeling another wave of stomach lurching nausea I quickly turn on the shower to cover my vomiting and when there is nothing left in my stomach I straighten on shaky legs and lean against the counter and stare in the mirror. My blonde hair is stringy, unwashed and in my face knowing that brushing it away would just reveal just how pale my face is. By the time I step into the shower it is steaming hot and I let the hot water burn my skin, I've been doing this a lot lately, as if the hot water will wash away all of my transgressions. Deep down I know that one doesn't have to do with the other but for the minutes that I am in the shower it helps, until I step out of the shower and real world is around me again.

"Hey Kim," my mom calls from the other side of the bathroom door once I shut the water off.
Great Jessica passed on the news about my mood, "yeah Mom?"
"Jess said you weren't looking well," my mother calls back, "can I come in?"
Bingo, my twin had unknowingly ratted me out, "yeah hang on Mom." Quickly I grab my huge terry cloth robe and tie it around my waist and open the door to my bedroom to find my mother sitting on the bed.

She's immediately on her feet when I enter the room and standing right in front of me, and in a maternal move she has her wrist pressed to my forehead. I pull away, uncomfortable with the questions that she's going to start firing soon, "I'm fine."
"You could be coming down with something, the flu is going around at the elementary school."
"I'm not sick Mom, just tired." I respond putting a step in-between myself and my mother, knowing that there were enough lies between us to fill at least twice the space between us.
"I'm going to make a doctor's appointment," my mother barrels on, "I don't want to risk it. We made it this far through flu season without anyone getting it."
"I don't need to see a doctor." A sigh, I had intended the words to come out angry but fear keeps them quieted.
"I don't want anymore arguments about it, now if you're feeling up to it get dressed and get downstairs. If you're not then get back into bed."
"I'm gonna stay..."
My statement is cut of with Mike appearing in the doorway holding the cordless phone, "Kim, Steve's on the phone."
"Tell him I can't talk now, I'm getting ready to go out."
My comments earns shocked expressions from both my brother and mother and I know they are warranted. Only a week ago I would have dropped everything to talk to Steve, even if it meant making the family late. "What? We're running late aren't we?"
"Umm yeah," Mike uncovers the speaker part of the phone, "she's getting ready she'll have to talk to you later."
"So what's going on with you?" My mother is back.

I've been lying on my back staring at the wall since dinner time but at my mom's entrance I roll onto my side to face her, "what do you mean?"
"Well are you and Steve fighting?" She asks.
"No," I shake my head, "we aren't fighting." It's not a lie, Steve doesn't even know that anything is amiss.
"Then how come you didn't want to talk to him?"
I shrug, "I guess I'm just getting tired of him."
"Uh-huh, you're sure that's it?"
"Positive," I respond simply.
"Okay, you obviously don't want to talk about it. But I just came up to say good-night and that you have a doctor's appointment on Monday morning before school."
My heart drops to my heels, "I told you I didn't need to see a doctor."
"Jess is going to, you guys need a check-up anyway. Get some sleep, everything will seem better in the morning."

At 11:40 I finally give up on sleep, I know that I will never be able to get through an entire day before the doctor's visit and I'm also smart enough to know that I need to tell my parents about what I found out at the clinic before my doctor tells them for me. Slipping out of bed I make my way into my parents room where they are watching an old black and white movie, "I need to talk to you guys."