Title: Koinu no Ryu (Puppy's Dragon)
Author: Mistress Nika (InuNekoMiko@aol.com)
Rating: PG for some rising passions....quickly moving to PG-13 in a few chapters! *sigh* wonder if I'll reach R... O_o
Couples: Jou/Seto (yeeeesssss, my preeeccciiiooouuusss!!!!!! SEME JOU!! =^-^=) Yami/Yuugi, hints at past Jou/Yuugi, others I'm keeping secret. ^^
Category: Romance/Angst/Humor
Warnings: shounen-ai/two guys in a romantic relationship, waff, fluff, a seme Jounouchi, bishy angst
Disclaimer: don't own, don't sue (Who?? Moo?? O.o)
Chapter Four:
"Classroom ..... something...." O_o Anyone help me with a title for this chapter!?
Jou dropped his bag beside his desk and looked to the back of the room. Seto sat in his desk with his laptop out and typing furiously on it, pointedly ignoring all else. To his classmates, this was normal behavior for him. But Jou knew better when he saw those gorgeous blues momentarily flash his way before diving back into who knows what work.
Jou smirked. 'Hiding behind work, are you?' he thought mischeviously. 'We'll just have to fix that.'
However, just as he was about to make he way to the back of the room, his friends rushed him with a thousand questions.
"You're sure this isn't some kind of sick joke?" Honda asked anxiously.
"Yeah," Anzu chimmed, "we all know you hate Kaiba."
Yuugi it seemed was one step ahead of them though. "What happened between you two?" he asked excitedly. Glancing over to Seto and quickly back to Jou he grinned. "And why's Kaiba blushing?"
Both Anzu and Honda looked over at the CEO in shock and, after studying him for a minute, they seemed to take note of the slight reddening of the cheeks. Along with the quick glance he made toward a certain blonde.
"Wow." Honda breathed. "He really IS blushing!" He shook his head once, blinked and looked at Seto again. Just in case he was halunicating. Seeing he wasn't, he just settled for a stunned look. "Man," he mumbled, "that's a trip." Then he plopped down into his desk.
The other three also took their seats. Anzu quickly busied herself, reading through last night homework, checking for any mistakes she knew wasn't there.
Jou wasn't too happy with her reaction. She wasn't being any fun, that's for sure. If she had simply accepted it, he would have been fine with her. If she had been in shock like Honda, he would have enjoyed it. Even if she decieded to rant and rave on the evils of homosexuality, he could have dealt with that. But it seemed she was trying to pretend it wasn't even happening. And that was no fun. He would have to find some way to get a rise out of her.
He didn't know why, but his newfound confidence seemed to come with a twisted sense of humor. It wasn't like he really wanted to hurt anyone, but he really seemed to be taking delight in shocking people today. A sudden thought struck him and he was tempted to check his forehead. 'Maybe I have a fever from walking in the cold?' he wondered briefly before Yuugi's enthusiastic voice cut into his thoughts.
"So, Jou?" Yuugi asked with a smile. "What happened? I wanna hear all! You said you rode with him...what happened?"
Jou took one look at Yuugi's innocent excitement and decided to hold nothing back. Even with Jou silently in his corner, Yuugi had felt alone after his confession of his love for Yami. And now, he wasn't alone. He had someone else like him, and it just so happened to be his best friend.
Jou could easily admit to himself that once he had fancied himself in love with Yuugi. He had worshipped everything about him, and still did. But once he realized his feelings for Seto, Jou had come to understand that his love for Yuugi and his love for Seto were two different things. He had even discussed this with the amythest-eyed boy before, after telling him of his attraction to Seto.
They were like that. They had no secrets from one another.
Yuugi had shocked him beyond reason when he told Jou that he had actually found himself feeling the same way. AND he had realized, just as Jou did, that his love for Yami was different from his love for his best friend.
Now they were closer than ever before. They were alike in their love for another man. And though only a select few knew about Yami, seeing as he didn't technically exist, and Yuugi's relationship with him, if Jou had his way everyone would know about his relationship with Seto. And there WOULD be a relationship! Jou would accept nothing less.
Seeing Yuugi still patiently waiting, Jou grinned his trademark grin and said, "Well, why don't I tell you all about it after school." Then with a wink, he added, "If I have my way, I'll have more to tell by the end of the day."
Yuugi smiled brightly and was about to reply when it seemed an earthquake struck. Or, at least, the human equivelent...not counting Yami Bakura.
The building shook as the sound of hundreds of pounding feet rolled like thunder throughout the school. Jou was about to ask it if was a fire when he heard a female voice squeal, "There he is! Don't let him get away!!"
A male voice shouted in terror from just outside the classroom and Otogi suddenly scrambled into the room, slamming the door behind him and collapsing against it. The few students already in the classroom froze and stared at him in shock.
He had collapsed to the floor, panting for breath and sporting a look of sheer terror. His red headband had been pushed back on his head, forcing his hair into a strange shape and his clothes were rumpled and looked as if they had been pulled on repeatedly. He held his earring in the palm of his hand, having learned from previous encounters that it tended to get yanked at quite often and was supremely painful. What was the most comical about his appearance however, was a bright red thong hanging from his left ear.
Honda chuckled, breaking the silence...not counting the pounding of feet as the girls continued their search. "Otogi...man," he laughed, "Y'know you got a girl's thong in your hair?"
Jou couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculous sight his once tormenter made, and his laughter increased as he heard an amused snort/hidden laugh from the back of the room.
Without breaking his terrified stare into space, Otogi reached up and removed the underwear, throwing them into a corner of the room. Finally he whispered urgently, "You gotta hide me!" When the others just stared at him, he contiued his plea. "They're gonna kill me!" He paused a few seconds to think and then amended that statement. "Or RAPE me!!!"
At which Jou doubled over in laughter again.
Otogi seemed to recover enough to glare at Jou, which did nothing to quiet the blonde's insane laughter.
Anzu just looked at Otogi and asked, "Why are you over-reacting? You're chased by fangirls on a regular basis."
Otogi shot a disbelieving glance her way and shouted, "I'm NOT over-reacting!!" He stood angrily and pointed at the closed door. "THOSE are NOT regular fangirls!!" he exclaimed. "Did you know they came from another school, fifty miles away, just to chase me!?!? They chased me all the way from my house, into the school and they're STILL chasing me!! They tried to tear my clothes off! And they threw underwear at me!! And...and...AND one of them yelled that she wanted to have my child!!!!!!"
By this time Otogi was beginning to visibly panic. He was shaking and had the 'run-like-hell' look in his eyes. Here, Jou decided to put his newly found confidence and twisted sense of humor to work. Revenge would be his. He'd teach Otogi not to put him in a dog costume and embarrass him!
Standing up, he went over to the terrified man and draped a conforting arm around his shoulder. Jou noticed with great pleasure that Seto stiffened visably at that gesture. Jou put on his best 'I'm-your-friend-so-trust-me' act and said, "Don't worry, Otogi. I know just how to save you from them."
Otogi, oblivious to the change in Jou, looked at him with hope shining in his eyes. "Honto ni?" he asked.
Jou nodded and grinned. "Really." he replied. "Follow me." He turned towards the door, but then turned back, adding another element to his plan. Turning to look at the CEO watching him with interest, he said, "Actually, I might need Seto's help." And once again Jou delighted in the shock he had created just by saying the man's personal name. His grin widened when Seto's eyes met his, the gorgeous blues shining with curiousity and hidden joy. "After all," he continued, "who else could stop an army of rabid fangirls out for bishy body with just a glare?"
Everyone's eyes fell on the still form at the back of the room, wondering what he would do. Would he yell at Jou for daring to speak to him in a friendly way? Would he insult the blonde for including him in his plans? Or would he keep his cool and simply ignore him? He surprised everyone when he did neither, instread standing up and saying, "What do you need me to do?"
Whispers went around the room of, "What's going on? Has Hell froze over?" and "Why didn't he yell at him?" and "Why is Kaiba-san helping him?"
Jou just continued grinning and said, "Just keep them from mobbing Otogi-kun on sight." Jou winked suggestively at him and nearly purred, "Just use that Kaiba charm."
Seto couldn't keep the smile off his face at his puppy's playful behavior. Instead he turned it into a smirk, something people were more used to seeing. And with that Jou led Otogi out the door, Seto at his side and the occupants of the classroom scrambling behind them to get a good view of what was going to happen.
_________________________________________________________
(A/N) I've discovered that the only time I can really work on this story is when my g/f is over. ^^ Ideas just seem to flow when she's around, though I feel bad for writing instead of paying sole attention to her. ;_; She's now my official muse! ^^ So thank her for this chapter! Also for the lack of waff and the flirty Jou at the end. ^_~
Oh, and thank you Billie-chan for giving me ideas for some upcoming angst. Ummm...sux in real life, and I'm really sorry about it, but it does make for good material. *huggles her* I really hope things get better, and I'm still willing to provide ... a little 'persuasion' to the bakas who think you're a disappointment just for who you happen to love.
_________________________________________________________
*sing-song voice* Reviews! Reviews! *skips merrily through the wildflowers* I love reviews! *trips over something with silver hair lying naked on the ground* O_O PEGASUS!!!! O_O ....naked pegasus....sunbathing....alone...in a secluded field... ^-^ *disappears into the tall grass* ^______^
Thanks to: Aharah Musici, Saelbu, Liviania, Star Light Shadow, HikariChang, kindoftroubleistaryoutof, Rain Owl, lilhillbillie, Anime Crazed, bluefuzzyelf,
Aharah Musici: Um, thanks for the tidbit, but I already knew that. And it should be obvious I'm not using the american versions of their names. Therefore, it's Yuugi. I never use their amercian names... -_- Baka dubbers. -_- And for future reference, I will call Jou; Jounouchi Katsuya instead of Katsuya Jounouchi. There's way too much conflict over which is his personal name and which is his family name. But considering he's american, I believe Jounouchi to be his personal name, only in the western name order. So, I will be using; Motou Yuugi, Mazaki Anzu, Jounouchi Katsuya, Kaiba Seto, etc... Thanks for the review though! ^^
Liviania: Yeah, actually I was just discussing the general health of mutts compared to purebreeds with my mother. (I loved biology too! ^^) But I meant for Jou to mean that purebreds generally have better training than mutts, depending on the owners of course. And that Seto, being of the upperclass, has had better 'training' than him, Jou being of the lowerclass. (O_O Wow...double meanings... my head hurts.) YAY!!! *huggles Liviania* I like your compliments!!! *huggles her again* Y'know, I've been told I must use spellcheck and grammercheck...but the truth is; I don't have either. O_o This is just how I naturally speak. O_o
Star Light Shadow: LMAO!! I like the badger song! It seems others don't though... YEAH!!! I loved your review! Seto's gonna figure out just who cares...and that no matter how he tries to deny it, he can't escape that love! BWAHAHAHA!!!!! *throws sugar into air* It's snowing sugar! Have at it!
HikariChang: Lemon? O_o Uhhh, well, maybe. But I wouldn't post it here. Don't want to chance my fics being deleted. *growls menacingly* MY fics! Nobody messes with them!! *bares fangs* But I do have an account at adultfanfiction.net. Only problem is, most of my readers are 'under age' and probably can't go there. But I actually was thinking of making a lemon. Maybe if everyone agrees before hand not to report me, then I'll post a lemon here. ^_~
Rain Owl: Wow! I feel honored! ^__^ *is reminded of Watari's owl, 003, from Yami no Matsuei* ^^ Love the name! *groan* I need to stop reading Tatsumi/Watari smut... My brain is starting shrink I think. O_o
lilhillbillie: O_O OMG! Why don't you write something like that!?!? I'D READ IT!!!! O___O *puts on sweet act* Oh, wonderful lemon-writing, beta-reading, friend of mine? Don't you think THIS fic needs a lemon? ^_~ We could even co-write it. ^^ If you don't want to write the 'dirty parts', I could take over. God knows I've read enough yaoi PWP smut to last a lifetime! LOL
Anime Crazed: Yuugi was genuinly shocked that Jou had told the truth about his affections for Seto. Because he was hiding them from everyone else, not because he didn't know about them. But he's happy that Jou's not hiding now. ^^ Does that clear it up? Thanks for the review! ^^
bluefuzzyelf: ^__^ Oh yes... All you need for a good time is Jou and Seto, locked in a room together. Then you turn up the heat until it's sweltering and they're forced to remove clothes. Then you throw in a dog collar and leash, and watch as they fight over who wears it. Then grin when it ends up on Seto! ^^ With Jou on top of him...naked. *drools* And his-- *is dragged away by the sensors who are shouting, "This fic is rated PG! Keep the smut to a minimum or up the rating!"* O_o
Author: Mistress Nika (InuNekoMiko@aol.com)
Rating: PG for some rising passions....quickly moving to PG-13 in a few chapters! *sigh* wonder if I'll reach R... O_o
Couples: Jou/Seto (yeeeesssss, my preeeccciiiooouuusss!!!!!! SEME JOU!! =^-^=) Yami/Yuugi, hints at past Jou/Yuugi, others I'm keeping secret. ^^
Category: Romance/Angst/Humor
Warnings: shounen-ai/two guys in a romantic relationship, waff, fluff, a seme Jounouchi, bishy angst
Disclaimer: don't own, don't sue (Who?? Moo?? O.o)
Chapter Four:
"Classroom ..... something...." O_o Anyone help me with a title for this chapter!?
Jou dropped his bag beside his desk and looked to the back of the room. Seto sat in his desk with his laptop out and typing furiously on it, pointedly ignoring all else. To his classmates, this was normal behavior for him. But Jou knew better when he saw those gorgeous blues momentarily flash his way before diving back into who knows what work.
Jou smirked. 'Hiding behind work, are you?' he thought mischeviously. 'We'll just have to fix that.'
However, just as he was about to make he way to the back of the room, his friends rushed him with a thousand questions.
"You're sure this isn't some kind of sick joke?" Honda asked anxiously.
"Yeah," Anzu chimmed, "we all know you hate Kaiba."
Yuugi it seemed was one step ahead of them though. "What happened between you two?" he asked excitedly. Glancing over to Seto and quickly back to Jou he grinned. "And why's Kaiba blushing?"
Both Anzu and Honda looked over at the CEO in shock and, after studying him for a minute, they seemed to take note of the slight reddening of the cheeks. Along with the quick glance he made toward a certain blonde.
"Wow." Honda breathed. "He really IS blushing!" He shook his head once, blinked and looked at Seto again. Just in case he was halunicating. Seeing he wasn't, he just settled for a stunned look. "Man," he mumbled, "that's a trip." Then he plopped down into his desk.
The other three also took their seats. Anzu quickly busied herself, reading through last night homework, checking for any mistakes she knew wasn't there.
Jou wasn't too happy with her reaction. She wasn't being any fun, that's for sure. If she had simply accepted it, he would have been fine with her. If she had been in shock like Honda, he would have enjoyed it. Even if she decieded to rant and rave on the evils of homosexuality, he could have dealt with that. But it seemed she was trying to pretend it wasn't even happening. And that was no fun. He would have to find some way to get a rise out of her.
He didn't know why, but his newfound confidence seemed to come with a twisted sense of humor. It wasn't like he really wanted to hurt anyone, but he really seemed to be taking delight in shocking people today. A sudden thought struck him and he was tempted to check his forehead. 'Maybe I have a fever from walking in the cold?' he wondered briefly before Yuugi's enthusiastic voice cut into his thoughts.
"So, Jou?" Yuugi asked with a smile. "What happened? I wanna hear all! You said you rode with him...what happened?"
Jou took one look at Yuugi's innocent excitement and decided to hold nothing back. Even with Jou silently in his corner, Yuugi had felt alone after his confession of his love for Yami. And now, he wasn't alone. He had someone else like him, and it just so happened to be his best friend.
Jou could easily admit to himself that once he had fancied himself in love with Yuugi. He had worshipped everything about him, and still did. But once he realized his feelings for Seto, Jou had come to understand that his love for Yuugi and his love for Seto were two different things. He had even discussed this with the amythest-eyed boy before, after telling him of his attraction to Seto.
They were like that. They had no secrets from one another.
Yuugi had shocked him beyond reason when he told Jou that he had actually found himself feeling the same way. AND he had realized, just as Jou did, that his love for Yami was different from his love for his best friend.
Now they were closer than ever before. They were alike in their love for another man. And though only a select few knew about Yami, seeing as he didn't technically exist, and Yuugi's relationship with him, if Jou had his way everyone would know about his relationship with Seto. And there WOULD be a relationship! Jou would accept nothing less.
Seeing Yuugi still patiently waiting, Jou grinned his trademark grin and said, "Well, why don't I tell you all about it after school." Then with a wink, he added, "If I have my way, I'll have more to tell by the end of the day."
Yuugi smiled brightly and was about to reply when it seemed an earthquake struck. Or, at least, the human equivelent...not counting Yami Bakura.
The building shook as the sound of hundreds of pounding feet rolled like thunder throughout the school. Jou was about to ask it if was a fire when he heard a female voice squeal, "There he is! Don't let him get away!!"
A male voice shouted in terror from just outside the classroom and Otogi suddenly scrambled into the room, slamming the door behind him and collapsing against it. The few students already in the classroom froze and stared at him in shock.
He had collapsed to the floor, panting for breath and sporting a look of sheer terror. His red headband had been pushed back on his head, forcing his hair into a strange shape and his clothes were rumpled and looked as if they had been pulled on repeatedly. He held his earring in the palm of his hand, having learned from previous encounters that it tended to get yanked at quite often and was supremely painful. What was the most comical about his appearance however, was a bright red thong hanging from his left ear.
Honda chuckled, breaking the silence...not counting the pounding of feet as the girls continued their search. "Otogi...man," he laughed, "Y'know you got a girl's thong in your hair?"
Jou couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculous sight his once tormenter made, and his laughter increased as he heard an amused snort/hidden laugh from the back of the room.
Without breaking his terrified stare into space, Otogi reached up and removed the underwear, throwing them into a corner of the room. Finally he whispered urgently, "You gotta hide me!" When the others just stared at him, he contiued his plea. "They're gonna kill me!" He paused a few seconds to think and then amended that statement. "Or RAPE me!!!"
At which Jou doubled over in laughter again.
Otogi seemed to recover enough to glare at Jou, which did nothing to quiet the blonde's insane laughter.
Anzu just looked at Otogi and asked, "Why are you over-reacting? You're chased by fangirls on a regular basis."
Otogi shot a disbelieving glance her way and shouted, "I'm NOT over-reacting!!" He stood angrily and pointed at the closed door. "THOSE are NOT regular fangirls!!" he exclaimed. "Did you know they came from another school, fifty miles away, just to chase me!?!? They chased me all the way from my house, into the school and they're STILL chasing me!! They tried to tear my clothes off! And they threw underwear at me!! And...and...AND one of them yelled that she wanted to have my child!!!!!!"
By this time Otogi was beginning to visibly panic. He was shaking and had the 'run-like-hell' look in his eyes. Here, Jou decided to put his newly found confidence and twisted sense of humor to work. Revenge would be his. He'd teach Otogi not to put him in a dog costume and embarrass him!
Standing up, he went over to the terrified man and draped a conforting arm around his shoulder. Jou noticed with great pleasure that Seto stiffened visably at that gesture. Jou put on his best 'I'm-your-friend-so-trust-me' act and said, "Don't worry, Otogi. I know just how to save you from them."
Otogi, oblivious to the change in Jou, looked at him with hope shining in his eyes. "Honto ni?" he asked.
Jou nodded and grinned. "Really." he replied. "Follow me." He turned towards the door, but then turned back, adding another element to his plan. Turning to look at the CEO watching him with interest, he said, "Actually, I might need Seto's help." And once again Jou delighted in the shock he had created just by saying the man's personal name. His grin widened when Seto's eyes met his, the gorgeous blues shining with curiousity and hidden joy. "After all," he continued, "who else could stop an army of rabid fangirls out for bishy body with just a glare?"
Everyone's eyes fell on the still form at the back of the room, wondering what he would do. Would he yell at Jou for daring to speak to him in a friendly way? Would he insult the blonde for including him in his plans? Or would he keep his cool and simply ignore him? He surprised everyone when he did neither, instread standing up and saying, "What do you need me to do?"
Whispers went around the room of, "What's going on? Has Hell froze over?" and "Why didn't he yell at him?" and "Why is Kaiba-san helping him?"
Jou just continued grinning and said, "Just keep them from mobbing Otogi-kun on sight." Jou winked suggestively at him and nearly purred, "Just use that Kaiba charm."
Seto couldn't keep the smile off his face at his puppy's playful behavior. Instead he turned it into a smirk, something people were more used to seeing. And with that Jou led Otogi out the door, Seto at his side and the occupants of the classroom scrambling behind them to get a good view of what was going to happen.
_________________________________________________________
(A/N) I've discovered that the only time I can really work on this story is when my g/f is over. ^^ Ideas just seem to flow when she's around, though I feel bad for writing instead of paying sole attention to her. ;_; She's now my official muse! ^^ So thank her for this chapter! Also for the lack of waff and the flirty Jou at the end. ^_~
Oh, and thank you Billie-chan for giving me ideas for some upcoming angst. Ummm...sux in real life, and I'm really sorry about it, but it does make for good material. *huggles her* I really hope things get better, and I'm still willing to provide ... a little 'persuasion' to the bakas who think you're a disappointment just for who you happen to love.
_________________________________________________________
*sing-song voice* Reviews! Reviews! *skips merrily through the wildflowers* I love reviews! *trips over something with silver hair lying naked on the ground* O_O PEGASUS!!!! O_O ....naked pegasus....sunbathing....alone...in a secluded field... ^-^ *disappears into the tall grass* ^______^
Thanks to: Aharah Musici, Saelbu, Liviania, Star Light Shadow, HikariChang, kindoftroubleistaryoutof, Rain Owl, lilhillbillie, Anime Crazed, bluefuzzyelf,
Aharah Musici: Um, thanks for the tidbit, but I already knew that. And it should be obvious I'm not using the american versions of their names. Therefore, it's Yuugi. I never use their amercian names... -_- Baka dubbers. -_- And for future reference, I will call Jou; Jounouchi Katsuya instead of Katsuya Jounouchi. There's way too much conflict over which is his personal name and which is his family name. But considering he's american, I believe Jounouchi to be his personal name, only in the western name order. So, I will be using; Motou Yuugi, Mazaki Anzu, Jounouchi Katsuya, Kaiba Seto, etc... Thanks for the review though! ^^
Liviania: Yeah, actually I was just discussing the general health of mutts compared to purebreeds with my mother. (I loved biology too! ^^) But I meant for Jou to mean that purebreds generally have better training than mutts, depending on the owners of course. And that Seto, being of the upperclass, has had better 'training' than him, Jou being of the lowerclass. (O_O Wow...double meanings... my head hurts.) YAY!!! *huggles Liviania* I like your compliments!!! *huggles her again* Y'know, I've been told I must use spellcheck and grammercheck...but the truth is; I don't have either. O_o This is just how I naturally speak. O_o
Star Light Shadow: LMAO!! I like the badger song! It seems others don't though... YEAH!!! I loved your review! Seto's gonna figure out just who cares...and that no matter how he tries to deny it, he can't escape that love! BWAHAHAHA!!!!! *throws sugar into air* It's snowing sugar! Have at it!
HikariChang: Lemon? O_o Uhhh, well, maybe. But I wouldn't post it here. Don't want to chance my fics being deleted. *growls menacingly* MY fics! Nobody messes with them!! *bares fangs* But I do have an account at adultfanfiction.net. Only problem is, most of my readers are 'under age' and probably can't go there. But I actually was thinking of making a lemon. Maybe if everyone agrees before hand not to report me, then I'll post a lemon here. ^_~
Rain Owl: Wow! I feel honored! ^__^ *is reminded of Watari's owl, 003, from Yami no Matsuei* ^^ Love the name! *groan* I need to stop reading Tatsumi/Watari smut... My brain is starting shrink I think. O_o
lilhillbillie: O_O OMG! Why don't you write something like that!?!? I'D READ IT!!!! O___O *puts on sweet act* Oh, wonderful lemon-writing, beta-reading, friend of mine? Don't you think THIS fic needs a lemon? ^_~ We could even co-write it. ^^ If you don't want to write the 'dirty parts', I could take over. God knows I've read enough yaoi PWP smut to last a lifetime! LOL
Anime Crazed: Yuugi was genuinly shocked that Jou had told the truth about his affections for Seto. Because he was hiding them from everyone else, not because he didn't know about them. But he's happy that Jou's not hiding now. ^^ Does that clear it up? Thanks for the review! ^^
bluefuzzyelf: ^__^ Oh yes... All you need for a good time is Jou and Seto, locked in a room together. Then you turn up the heat until it's sweltering and they're forced to remove clothes. Then you throw in a dog collar and leash, and watch as they fight over who wears it. Then grin when it ends up on Seto! ^^ With Jou on top of him...naked. *drools* And his-- *is dragged away by the sensors who are shouting, "This fic is rated PG! Keep the smut to a minimum or up the rating!"* O_o