Picture
By Trickster-Jaina-Fel



 Disclaimer: The song "Picture" belongs to Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock. Jaina, Zekk and Co belong to George Lucas. I get nada funds for this; please don't sue.
Summary: Jaina and Zekk are just starting to get it, but that's the easy part. Now they not only have to admit it, they have to deal with Jag and Dala, respectively, but get the kinks worked out of their timing :P
Genre: romance
Characters: Jaina Solo, Zekk, Jag Fel, Dala (OC)

-------------

It wasn't, Jaina told herself, that she needed to hide Zekk from Jag. No, definitely not. There was nothing going on between her and the Jedi—hadn't been, for a long time. She hadn't even seen him in a year. It was for that exact reason that she put Zekk's picture inside her drawer. It wasn't a big deal that Jag didn't know, so why should she say something?

It meant nothing.

---

"Who's this?" Dala asked innocently, holding up a holo of Jaina.

Zekk had forgotten about the image, and was surprised when he blushed. "Oh, just an old friend," he muttered, continuing to polish his lightsaber handle.

Her eyebrow raised. "An ex?" she pressed, her smile fading a little.

"Not even," he corrected.

---

She had no reason to feel guilty when Jag discovered the picture. Her irritation level, however, was surprisingly high.

"Hey…I recognize him," Jag claimed, studying the picture before Jaina could snatch it away. "Your mom asked me to run an errand once, involving him. Is his name…Salek?"

"Zekk," she corrected, just a little more coldly than may have been necessary. "His name is Zekk."

"Ah." Jag's forehead creased faintly. "Yes, I remember now. You suggested him for a position in Twin Suns, correct?"

She folded her arms across her chest, unaccountably defensive. "Yeah? What's it to you?"

Jag stared at her, bemused.

---

"A crush, then," Dala realized. "Is she a Jedi?"

Zekk's hand slipped on the smooth metal handle of his 'saber, sending his wrist skidding into the table. His flesh burned and he cradled it. "Yes. We trained at the Academy together." He added nothing more verbally, but his eyes said volumes, if only Dala looked.

"Seen her lately?"

The question was casual, but it froze Zekk's innards. Silently, he cursed Jaina. He was supposed to be over her by now. "Nah. She's busy being a Solo. You know how they are—saving at least one person a day."

Maybe that was what wounded him the most: the idea that she might have thought nothing of saving him from himself, that it was only her family heritage kicking in. That it had meant nothing, even before the war.

---

Eventually, she put it away—really put it away, in a storage box, with all the things she never looked at anymore. Jaina told herself that it shouldn't matter: people grew apart, and she and Zekk were no exception. They had been close once, but they had been very, very different people before the war.

But that night, she stifled tears in her pillow.

-----

I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you
While I'm lying next to her

-----

Dala left with her customary, sweet smile and kiss. He watched her go, knowing that he didn't deserve her. She should have had a man who was devoted entirely to her.

Zekk couldn't even get over a crush. It was pathetic.

He never drank, and he didn't start that night, but he came closer than he had previously. Instead, he sat in the dark, staring at his traitorous hands, which held Jaina's holo-image. It was almost three in the morning before he threw it across the room, into a closet, then pushed all his thoughts away in meditation.

Jaina did not own him anymore; he would not give into his weakness. They had walked away—both of them.

---

I called you last night in the hotel

---

On impulse, she dialled Zekk's comm number. Even before the first ring finished, however, she hung up.

It just wasn't the time. Jag would be coming over soon…

---

Zekk's head shot up when the comm rang. It was her. He knew it was. Why was she calling?

His hand stretched, then whipped back close to him as if it had been burned when no new rings came. She had probably dialled the wrong number. He was the wrong number.

This was ridiculous. Why would she call?

He squashed the feeling in his gut.

---

Everyone knows
But they won't tell
But their half-hearted smiles
Tell me somethin' just ain't right

---

"Did you sleep well?" Jag asked, looking at her more carefully.

She brushed her hair out of her face and smiled up at him. "Of course. Did you?"

He ignored her question. "I'm serious, Jaina. You look exhausted."

She waved a hand casually. "You're such a worry-wart, Jag."

Her boyfriend's lips smiled at her teasing, but his eyes remained worried.

---

"Hel-lo-o… Anybody in there?" Dala waved a hand in his face, then forced a grin when he looked up at her, startled.

"Sorry, Dal. I don't know where my head's been lately… So," he said, trying to change the subject, "which vid do you want to watch tonight?"

If anything, her smile faltered even more.

---

I've been waitin' on you for a long time
Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights

---

Three nights since she tried to call. If it had been any other call, Jaina would have forgotten about it. She had a bad memory, after all, and it wasn't like her to brood on things.

The location of his picture should not have been ingrained in her mind. It was insane. Why was she so unwilling to let this go?

---

It wasn't like he hadn't left his heart out to dry for a long time. Any other man would have sucked it in, faced facts, and gotten over her. Zekk, unfortunately, lost any backbone he had when faced with Jaina. It was as if she set outposts in his heart and mind, then refused to take them down, even when she left. How was that fair? She could have at least taught him out to do that. Made the playing field level.

If she had wanted to rebuild, he would have been there. A b = c. So, obviously, she did not want to salvage whatever was left of them. Thus, her call had been a mistake.

Why couldn't his heart accept that?

---

I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you
While I'm lyin' next to him

---

Her mind was drifting—again, dammit! Jaina was ready to commit herself to an asylum. Why did first loves have to be so stubborn? She had Jag. Zekk had…someone. Rumours said he was dating a nurse—not a Jedi.

She'll never understand him, Jaina thought bitterly, then wondered how she could think that when Jag was decidedly not a Jedi, either?

She kissed Jag, told him she loved him, then turned around and turned her brain back on. That kind of stuff wasn't supposed to be dutiful—not yet, anyway.

Not even holding hands had been dutiful with Zekk. What did that say about her?

I'm a horrible girlfriend, Jaina thought miserably. Then, in the next minute, I wonder how Zekk is?

---

I saw you yesterday with an old friend
It was the same ol' same
How have you been

---

The Force was one big meanie, Jaina decided, to make her see Zekk walking around in the street. In fact, "meanie" didn't cut it; "stink-head", maybe, or "sadist", would fit better. As if she didn't have enough trouble keeping Zekk out of her head…even out of her traitorous heart.

She kept her cool, though. She smiled at him, then introduced her first love to her current boyfriend.

Something in Zekk's eyes flickered when they landed on Jag, but he turned back to her just as quickly. She was disappointed in herself when she hoped that it had been jealousy in his gaze. When she hoped that he was in the same place she was.

Because then…

Then nothing, she reminded herself sternly. Absolutely nothing.

---

Since you've been gone my world's been
Dark and grey

---

His throat closed over. Seeing her with the stuffy Chiss colonel was not how he had imagined reuniting with her. So maybe them both running through the rain into each others' arms, confessing their undying love, had been a bit much. But at least the Force could have kept his replacement out of it?

Jag was a low blow. A really low blow.

So he was somewhat pleased when Dalin showed up, and asked to be introduced. Immediately upon thinking this, of course, he felt ashamed of himself, and praised Dalin until she was red in the face.

Praising Dalin couldn't make up for his shortcomings, however, when Jaina's lips turned down in a pout and his heart surged in victory.

That had been a feeling on her face. Jealousy? What if her call hadn't been—

And he was back where he started.

---

You reminded me of brighter days
I hoped you were coming home to stay

---

"Zekk and I went to the Jedi Academy together," Jaina explained to Jag.

"I see," Jag noted, eyes lighting as he put two-and-two together. "Part of your hero team, I suppose?"

Jaina's laughter was forced. "I suppose you could say that."

She looked over at Zekk, and they both rolled their eyes at the exact same time. There were some things outsiders could not possibly understand.

---

I was headed to church
I was off to drink you away

---

"Well, I'd better get going," Zekk finally said, because he was only imagining the warmth in Jaina's eyes. "I have an appointment at the Temple."

Jaina's lips curved. "Well, have fun understanding the oldlings…"

Dalin and Jag exchanged confused looks. The "oldlings"?

"The councilors," Zekk explained, catching the others' confusion. "Just a nickname." His eyes didn't leave Jaina's.

Stars shone from her eyes, but just as instantly a blanket was thrown over them. "I actually have somewhere to be, too," she admitted. Like a place where I can get a stiff drink.

He didn't want her to go, but he smiled and, surprising himself, reached out and brushed her cheek fondly. "Call me sometime, Jay," he murmured, only for her ears. "It's been a long time."

---

I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind

---

If Jaina had been any younger, she would have jumped up and down, just to let out her sudden burst of energy. "Too long," she responded. Her smile was probably too bright, but she didn't worry about it.

We never really tied things up, either, she thought, and knew he caught it.

Zekk smiled, as if she had answered a silent question of his. Her breath caught, and she suddenly remembered why she had first spoken to him: his eyes. No matter what was going on in his head, his multiple-green shade eyes always captivated her.

"I'll see you?" Zekk said slowly, walking past her and then turning so that he ambled backwards, never breaking eye contact with her.

"Sure," she replied. "Just give me a ring."

---

I can't understand why we're living life this way

---

She walked away with Jag, eventually, and Dala wasn't far behind Zekk. As soon as he realized that, Zekk was again attacked with every emotion he had pushed aside in Jaina's presence.

Guilt, because he was with Dalin, and he wasn't man enough to turn his back on Jaina. Uncertainty—he had probably imagined it all. Confusion—he was supposed to be over her. He was supposed to have moved on.

He hadn't. He was still a boy entranced by the pretty girl who had saved him from the Dark side.

---

I found your picture today

---

When they were back at Jaina's apartment, Jag looked down at her, his pale green eyes swirling. "I think," he said slowly, as if each word was a dagger in his chest, "that this is goodbye?"

She was robbed of words. "Jag—" She wanted to reassure him, wanted to wipe the pain away from his face. It had never been her intention to hurt him. She did love him, and she told him so.

"Not the way you should," he replied, bitterly. "Not the way I love you." His eyes searched hers, helplessly, before his spine stiffened and his hands clenched in fists. "Goodbye, Jaina."

It didn't matter what she wanted; first love's claim had proved more potent than she expected. Jag didn't deserve that. "I'm sorry, Jag."

He turned away, and left. Jaina closed the door behind her and cried.

---

I swear I'll change my ways

---

Dalin and Zekk hadn't been dating long enough for a breakup fight. In a way, he wished she would have given one anyway; he would have felt better, more justified, if she had screamed at him. Instead, she wiped her tears away and told him that she hoped he and Jaina were happy together—and that they wouldn't "screw it up this time".

He felt sorry to see her go, but not sorry enough. Maybe he had imagined everything, but in any case he needed to deal with Jaina before he tried another relationship.

Zekk was going to stop running.

---

I just called to say I want you
To come back home

---

He left well enough alone for two weeks. He didn't want to jump into anything—again. They had been kids when they tried to romance game; if there was anything real to that, it needed consideration.

Eventually, he ran out of excuses, and he dialled her number.

---

I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways

---

She waited two weeks; she needed that time to recuperate. She and Jag had been dating for some time. It was ridiculous to jump into anything, even if her feelings were so obvious that her boyfriend dumped her for it.

When she was ready, she dialled his number.

---

I just called to say I want you
To come back home

---

A busy signal. Zekk had screwed up all his courage and planned his emotional development…only to get a busy signal?

It was a very sick world.

---

Jaina almost cried. This was not happening. When she broke up with Jag, she was supposed to be able to at least call Zekk. She wasn't supposed to go insane for no reason. Frustrated, she threw her com-unit across the room.

She would just have to call tomorrow—if she still had the courage.

---

I just called to say I love you

---

He almost lost his nerve. Zekk had never considered the possibility of her not picking up. She was supposed to answer, and be happy to hear from him, and they would take it from there.

But…

He was pathetic, so he dialled one more time. Just to make sure.

This time, it rang.

---

Come back home

---

Jaina glared at the communication device as it rang. She didn't want to be nice, didn't want to communicate. Her plans had just been effectively ruined. She needed time to mope now, about how she and Zekk would never get timing right, how there was no timing to worry about.

But, with a sigh, she retrieved the unit and pressed audio. "Hello?"

"Jaina? It's Zekk."

Moping thoughts were definitely going away. Jaina grinned, trying and failing to keep her excitement down.

"Hey."

---

-

- TJF