Chapter Ten: Countdown!
It's been one and a half months since Jackie and Hyde slept together. Hyde and Jackie haven't even spoken to each other since he left the note. When questioned by Kelso why Jackie and him weren't speaking she simply said that he was a moron and she hated him. And some of that wasn't far from the truth as she did think Steven was a moron and for the most part did hate him. Hyde's rejection forced to concentrate solely on her upcoming wedding she still had many things to sort out. Such as the fittings for Donna and Kitty's Bridesmaid dresses and her magnificent wedding dress.
In the Forman household Kitty was making preparations for the wedding such as centrepieces for the tables and garlands she and Donna would wear at the ceremony.
Kitty was in the kitchen with Red and Eric. She was preparing dinner and was singing happily at the stove.
Eric and Red were sat down at the table waiting patiently for dinner.
"Well I see mom feels better." Eric said to his father while drinking a glass of water.
Red quickly jumped behind from behind the paper he was reading.
"Don't be fooled Eric, she's like a Commie bomb she could blow at any second."
"O.k. dad I see someone's been at the alcohol. Dad have you been drinking from mom's supply of wine?"
Kitty stopped what she was doing. "What?"
"Don't worry sweetie I don't like wine. And Eric stop being a dumbass, you use your smart mouth again I'll stick my foot up your ass!"
Kitty satisfied with the answer went back to doing the dinner. But when Red and Eric weren't looking she moved two bottles of wine and placed them into the bottom cupboard.
"So Eric sweetie you thinking of ever asking Donna to marry you?"
"Well yeah mom when I've completed a decent education and found a respectable job in society and can afford marriage or if I knock her up!"
Up until that moment Kitty had a smile on her face.
"What did you say?" Kitty yelled. She wiped her forehead. Her hormones were all over the place.
"No, no I was just joking." Eric said a bit scared. He looked at Red for her who simple said.
"Not from me smart mouth."
"That's o.k. Sweetie it's just that marriage is a sacred bond that should be taking seriously. Right honey!"
Clearly Red wasn't even listening and from behind his paper said,
"Yeah honey, Eric should learn about...... em..... Marriage."
Kitty started to fan her self with a plate.
"God is it hot in here. I feel like I'm living in hell."
"Well mom you live with dad so maybe you kinda are."
Kitty growing very annoyed now threw down Eric and Red's plate. Both Red and Eric tucked into their food.
"Eric where's Steven?" Kitty asked.
"He's working. He's been doing that a lot lately." Eric replied.
"He's upset over the loud one."
Eric looked up surprised.
"Wait dad even you know!"
"Well the amount of damn kids that come in here and eat my food and think they live in this house, why wouldn't I know about they're private lives. God it's like a soap opera."
Kitty did her laugh and sat down.
"Oh I'm so excited about the wedding. I always cry at weddings."
Both Eric and Red groaned.
Jackie was outside a church with Donna and Eric. The church was very big with a spear at its centre. It was a bright day for the middle of December. Jackie shielded her eyes from the unwelcome sun. Donna had insisted on going and on bringing Eric along, as it would be useful for when they get married.
A tall woman with dark shoulder length hair in a navy blue suit exited the church.
"Well Miss Burkhart I hope you're happy with the church and the preparations that have been made. I hope everything is to your liking." The lady said with a false sweetness that made Jackie want to throw up.
Jackie replied not so cheerily. "Yes everything is wonderful thank you for all you've done Michael and I appreciate it."
"And were is the groom to be?" She asked.
Donna answered the question for her. "Yeah, he's off doing random things like hanging around the basement on his ass or getting his hand glued to his face!" Eric couldn't help but laughing at the lady's reaction.
"Well I see... Miss Burkhart buck up you'll be married in a week! Well I have an appointment in my office so I have to go, but Miss Burkhart call me if there are any requirements you'll need. Ta at." And with that she walked off back into the church.
"Can we please go now? We sorted out all the things that needed sorting out. I honestly don't think I can look at another flower again. Lily's, Rose's, Carnation's oh my god I'm going insane. Donna I'm forever going to be dreaming of centrepieces. Nooooooooo!" Eric shouted.
Donna just looked at Jackie then back at Eric. Eric was puzzled.
"What!"
"Should I tell him?" Donna asked Jackie. She simply nodded. Eric started to get nervous. He started breathing heavy and tugged at the collar of his shirt. Donna looked at him and both she and Jackie burst out in laughter.
"God Eric you're so easy."
"Hey, you were very convincing o.k. I thought you had enrolled me in some pre-marital class!" Eric started to laugh but soon stopped when he saw Donna's look.
"Oh I guess it's a bad time to tell you that I did." Donna deadpanned.
"What!!!" Eric again looked shocked.
Again Donna and Jackie burst out laughing. Eric started walking back towards the car.
"You two are not funny!"
"Well Eric then stop being so easy, I swear you make Fez look like... well I don't know but someone who's not stupid." Jackie joined in.
"Hey you know what's stupid or should I say who..!" Eric sniggered.
"You shut up Michael is not stupid he's special."
"Well that's nice but actually I was talking about you."
"What?" Jackie looked up in shock.
Donna and Eric had now reached the car with Jackie lagging behind. Donna opened the passenger side door and rode shotgun with Eric driving. Jackie slid into the back seat. Eric started the car and they were now on the road.
"Look Jackie I think what Eric is trying to say is that we both know you're not completely over Hyde."
Jackie leaned forward. "Yes I am, I am totally ready for my life with Michael so would you guys stop going on about it please."
"Fine but that means when you do realise your doing the wrong thing you can't talk to me about it." Donna said.
"Fine."
For about half an hour they rode in silence. Eric was too concentrated on driving. Donna was just listening to Led Zeppelin and Jackie was peering out of the window. Then she jumped up.
"Oh my god I am doing the wrong thing!"
Both Donna and Eric smiled. Jackie continued.
".. I knew I should have gone with a different colour for the table napkins."
Both Eric and Donna groaned.
"Donna what do you think will look better pale pink and white napkins or pale blue and eggshell napkins?" Jackie asked.
"Er the second."
"Yeah the second does sound better. Ohh Donna who knew you had a such flare for colour."
"Yeah who knew!" Donna said to herself.
Eric and Fez were sitting in the basement watching the six million dollar man. Fez was on the lawn chair while Eric was sitting on the couch.
"Look Fez, man trust me you didn't miss much. All we did was look at flower designs and checked out the church."
"Yeah well I still wanted to come I wanted to check out the hot nuns and hit on them." Fez answered.
Eric was baffled. "Fez dude their nuns, they made a vow to god to remain pure."
"Well I'm sure they are but that's the challenge I want to corrupt them."
"Well it's a god thing you didn't go otherwise you'd be in big trouble with the man upstairs."
"Who Red, I am not scared of him." Fez answered bluntly. Eric just shook his head and got up to get a soda.
"Yeah o.k. Buddy but if you what a definition of hell then go out with two hormone charged women interested in marriage, I tell ya it is frightening. All those women competing for the same tablecloth it was anarchy. I didn't think I'd make it out alive. And all Donna could talk about was our wedding." Eric explained.
"Well I'm hooked when will we go out for the wedding again?" Fez asked.
"Oh that was the last one. Thank God."
"Why are you thanking God I thought you just said you hated the church." Fez walked around the room playing with a yo-yo he found on the floor.
"Whatever man. Anyway all that has to be done is the fittings for our tuxes and the girl's dresses. Oh which reminds me we have to organise Kelso's bachelor party."
"What's a bachelor party." Fez asked
"It's a party where we celebrate Kelso's last night's of freedom. Like in England they call it a stag night!"
"I don't get your culture why does Kelso need to dress up as a stag, why can't I? I'd make a great stag. Come to me ladies." Fez said while posing.
"No Fez it's just a saying like it'll be Jackie's hen night as in bachelorette party." Eric tried to explain while trying not laugh. He found it funny the way Fez interrupted things as literal.
"Now that is really stupid a hen marrying a stag!"
Eric had nothing to say he just shook his head. He wondered how Fez managed to get on this country.
"Fine, we need to figure out a way to make both Hyde and Kelso happy. How do we take his mind off the fact that his one true live is marrying his best friend." Eric wondered.
Silence came over the basement as they tried to figure it out. Fez came up with an idea.
"We should go to a strip club all the lovely dancers will take his mind off of that!"
Eric jumped up. "Fez you're a genius. So we need to book it for...Tomorrow night, perfect."
Eric went into Hyde's room and picked up the yellow pages, he flicked through the book until he found the club Hooters. He picked up the phone and dialled the number he waited until he heard a feminine voice. Eric grew excited.
"Hello I'm Mr...Wayne and I'd like to book a party of four for tomorrow night...Yes we should be there till late....no we don't have any specifications for the girls.....ah uh....yes...Thank you and I look forward to seeing you to."
Eric put down the phone and twisted in his seat to face Fez.
"Oh my God that girl sounded hot and we have reservations tomorrow night."
Fez didn't say anything he just had a huge smile on his face.
The back door opened and Hyde walked in. He just looked at Fez and asked what he was so happy about.
"Well we just booked a night out at hooters for Kelso's stag night." Eric said he was looking at his friend and hoped that he was all right with Kelso.
Hyde sat down and looked at the T.V. "Look man I'm not going!"
"But dude you have to the go there will be strippers." Eric said while imitating a stripper's dance. Hyde shoved him back which caused Eric to stumble.
"Look man me and Fez think this we'll be really good for you. You can't be locked up in your room all the time. And you rejected Jackie again, she told you she loved you and you rejected her. So this was your choice. So come out with us and stuff dollars down skanky girls G-strings." Eric pleaded.
"How did you know about that?" He asked.
"Cos I had to comfort Jackie for like two hours afterwards. Man that girl can cry."
Hyde shifted in seat and looked guilty. Hyde hated what he did to her and didn't need Forman reminding him.
"Fine I'll come, and it might be fun!"
Eric had a happy look on his face. "Yeah men we are going to a strip club."
At that moment Kelso burst into the basement he overheard the last part and yelled.
"Alright we going to a strip club, hey can I borrow some dollar bills." All the three guys looked at Kelso in disgust.
"What!" He asked.
It's been one and a half months since Jackie and Hyde slept together. Hyde and Jackie haven't even spoken to each other since he left the note. When questioned by Kelso why Jackie and him weren't speaking she simply said that he was a moron and she hated him. And some of that wasn't far from the truth as she did think Steven was a moron and for the most part did hate him. Hyde's rejection forced to concentrate solely on her upcoming wedding she still had many things to sort out. Such as the fittings for Donna and Kitty's Bridesmaid dresses and her magnificent wedding dress.
In the Forman household Kitty was making preparations for the wedding such as centrepieces for the tables and garlands she and Donna would wear at the ceremony.
Kitty was in the kitchen with Red and Eric. She was preparing dinner and was singing happily at the stove.
Eric and Red were sat down at the table waiting patiently for dinner.
"Well I see mom feels better." Eric said to his father while drinking a glass of water.
Red quickly jumped behind from behind the paper he was reading.
"Don't be fooled Eric, she's like a Commie bomb she could blow at any second."
"O.k. dad I see someone's been at the alcohol. Dad have you been drinking from mom's supply of wine?"
Kitty stopped what she was doing. "What?"
"Don't worry sweetie I don't like wine. And Eric stop being a dumbass, you use your smart mouth again I'll stick my foot up your ass!"
Kitty satisfied with the answer went back to doing the dinner. But when Red and Eric weren't looking she moved two bottles of wine and placed them into the bottom cupboard.
"So Eric sweetie you thinking of ever asking Donna to marry you?"
"Well yeah mom when I've completed a decent education and found a respectable job in society and can afford marriage or if I knock her up!"
Up until that moment Kitty had a smile on her face.
"What did you say?" Kitty yelled. She wiped her forehead. Her hormones were all over the place.
"No, no I was just joking." Eric said a bit scared. He looked at Red for her who simple said.
"Not from me smart mouth."
"That's o.k. Sweetie it's just that marriage is a sacred bond that should be taking seriously. Right honey!"
Clearly Red wasn't even listening and from behind his paper said,
"Yeah honey, Eric should learn about...... em..... Marriage."
Kitty started to fan her self with a plate.
"God is it hot in here. I feel like I'm living in hell."
"Well mom you live with dad so maybe you kinda are."
Kitty growing very annoyed now threw down Eric and Red's plate. Both Red and Eric tucked into their food.
"Eric where's Steven?" Kitty asked.
"He's working. He's been doing that a lot lately." Eric replied.
"He's upset over the loud one."
Eric looked up surprised.
"Wait dad even you know!"
"Well the amount of damn kids that come in here and eat my food and think they live in this house, why wouldn't I know about they're private lives. God it's like a soap opera."
Kitty did her laugh and sat down.
"Oh I'm so excited about the wedding. I always cry at weddings."
Both Eric and Red groaned.
Jackie was outside a church with Donna and Eric. The church was very big with a spear at its centre. It was a bright day for the middle of December. Jackie shielded her eyes from the unwelcome sun. Donna had insisted on going and on bringing Eric along, as it would be useful for when they get married.
A tall woman with dark shoulder length hair in a navy blue suit exited the church.
"Well Miss Burkhart I hope you're happy with the church and the preparations that have been made. I hope everything is to your liking." The lady said with a false sweetness that made Jackie want to throw up.
Jackie replied not so cheerily. "Yes everything is wonderful thank you for all you've done Michael and I appreciate it."
"And were is the groom to be?" She asked.
Donna answered the question for her. "Yeah, he's off doing random things like hanging around the basement on his ass or getting his hand glued to his face!" Eric couldn't help but laughing at the lady's reaction.
"Well I see... Miss Burkhart buck up you'll be married in a week! Well I have an appointment in my office so I have to go, but Miss Burkhart call me if there are any requirements you'll need. Ta at." And with that she walked off back into the church.
"Can we please go now? We sorted out all the things that needed sorting out. I honestly don't think I can look at another flower again. Lily's, Rose's, Carnation's oh my god I'm going insane. Donna I'm forever going to be dreaming of centrepieces. Nooooooooo!" Eric shouted.
Donna just looked at Jackie then back at Eric. Eric was puzzled.
"What!"
"Should I tell him?" Donna asked Jackie. She simply nodded. Eric started to get nervous. He started breathing heavy and tugged at the collar of his shirt. Donna looked at him and both she and Jackie burst out in laughter.
"God Eric you're so easy."
"Hey, you were very convincing o.k. I thought you had enrolled me in some pre-marital class!" Eric started to laugh but soon stopped when he saw Donna's look.
"Oh I guess it's a bad time to tell you that I did." Donna deadpanned.
"What!!!" Eric again looked shocked.
Again Donna and Jackie burst out laughing. Eric started walking back towards the car.
"You two are not funny!"
"Well Eric then stop being so easy, I swear you make Fez look like... well I don't know but someone who's not stupid." Jackie joined in.
"Hey you know what's stupid or should I say who..!" Eric sniggered.
"You shut up Michael is not stupid he's special."
"Well that's nice but actually I was talking about you."
"What?" Jackie looked up in shock.
Donna and Eric had now reached the car with Jackie lagging behind. Donna opened the passenger side door and rode shotgun with Eric driving. Jackie slid into the back seat. Eric started the car and they were now on the road.
"Look Jackie I think what Eric is trying to say is that we both know you're not completely over Hyde."
Jackie leaned forward. "Yes I am, I am totally ready for my life with Michael so would you guys stop going on about it please."
"Fine but that means when you do realise your doing the wrong thing you can't talk to me about it." Donna said.
"Fine."
For about half an hour they rode in silence. Eric was too concentrated on driving. Donna was just listening to Led Zeppelin and Jackie was peering out of the window. Then she jumped up.
"Oh my god I am doing the wrong thing!"
Both Donna and Eric smiled. Jackie continued.
".. I knew I should have gone with a different colour for the table napkins."
Both Eric and Donna groaned.
"Donna what do you think will look better pale pink and white napkins or pale blue and eggshell napkins?" Jackie asked.
"Er the second."
"Yeah the second does sound better. Ohh Donna who knew you had a such flare for colour."
"Yeah who knew!" Donna said to herself.
Eric and Fez were sitting in the basement watching the six million dollar man. Fez was on the lawn chair while Eric was sitting on the couch.
"Look Fez, man trust me you didn't miss much. All we did was look at flower designs and checked out the church."
"Yeah well I still wanted to come I wanted to check out the hot nuns and hit on them." Fez answered.
Eric was baffled. "Fez dude their nuns, they made a vow to god to remain pure."
"Well I'm sure they are but that's the challenge I want to corrupt them."
"Well it's a god thing you didn't go otherwise you'd be in big trouble with the man upstairs."
"Who Red, I am not scared of him." Fez answered bluntly. Eric just shook his head and got up to get a soda.
"Yeah o.k. Buddy but if you what a definition of hell then go out with two hormone charged women interested in marriage, I tell ya it is frightening. All those women competing for the same tablecloth it was anarchy. I didn't think I'd make it out alive. And all Donna could talk about was our wedding." Eric explained.
"Well I'm hooked when will we go out for the wedding again?" Fez asked.
"Oh that was the last one. Thank God."
"Why are you thanking God I thought you just said you hated the church." Fez walked around the room playing with a yo-yo he found on the floor.
"Whatever man. Anyway all that has to be done is the fittings for our tuxes and the girl's dresses. Oh which reminds me we have to organise Kelso's bachelor party."
"What's a bachelor party." Fez asked
"It's a party where we celebrate Kelso's last night's of freedom. Like in England they call it a stag night!"
"I don't get your culture why does Kelso need to dress up as a stag, why can't I? I'd make a great stag. Come to me ladies." Fez said while posing.
"No Fez it's just a saying like it'll be Jackie's hen night as in bachelorette party." Eric tried to explain while trying not laugh. He found it funny the way Fez interrupted things as literal.
"Now that is really stupid a hen marrying a stag!"
Eric had nothing to say he just shook his head. He wondered how Fez managed to get on this country.
"Fine, we need to figure out a way to make both Hyde and Kelso happy. How do we take his mind off the fact that his one true live is marrying his best friend." Eric wondered.
Silence came over the basement as they tried to figure it out. Fez came up with an idea.
"We should go to a strip club all the lovely dancers will take his mind off of that!"
Eric jumped up. "Fez you're a genius. So we need to book it for...Tomorrow night, perfect."
Eric went into Hyde's room and picked up the yellow pages, he flicked through the book until he found the club Hooters. He picked up the phone and dialled the number he waited until he heard a feminine voice. Eric grew excited.
"Hello I'm Mr...Wayne and I'd like to book a party of four for tomorrow night...Yes we should be there till late....no we don't have any specifications for the girls.....ah uh....yes...Thank you and I look forward to seeing you to."
Eric put down the phone and twisted in his seat to face Fez.
"Oh my God that girl sounded hot and we have reservations tomorrow night."
Fez didn't say anything he just had a huge smile on his face.
The back door opened and Hyde walked in. He just looked at Fez and asked what he was so happy about.
"Well we just booked a night out at hooters for Kelso's stag night." Eric said he was looking at his friend and hoped that he was all right with Kelso.
Hyde sat down and looked at the T.V. "Look man I'm not going!"
"But dude you have to the go there will be strippers." Eric said while imitating a stripper's dance. Hyde shoved him back which caused Eric to stumble.
"Look man me and Fez think this we'll be really good for you. You can't be locked up in your room all the time. And you rejected Jackie again, she told you she loved you and you rejected her. So this was your choice. So come out with us and stuff dollars down skanky girls G-strings." Eric pleaded.
"How did you know about that?" He asked.
"Cos I had to comfort Jackie for like two hours afterwards. Man that girl can cry."
Hyde shifted in seat and looked guilty. Hyde hated what he did to her and didn't need Forman reminding him.
"Fine I'll come, and it might be fun!"
Eric had a happy look on his face. "Yeah men we are going to a strip club."
At that moment Kelso burst into the basement he overheard the last part and yelled.
"Alright we going to a strip club, hey can I borrow some dollar bills." All the three guys looked at Kelso in disgust.
"What!" He asked.