Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Eh sorry this is late, you see...I went on a training trip to China where i fell into these cursed springs and came out as a boy!...Then my panda bear father ate these Chinese amazons food and i had to fight the winner...And when i won this girl glomped me..so we ran..Then i came home and there were fiancees in the waiting...

Thanks for all the reviews..My inspiration for this chapter was the song You Sexy Thing...I just imagined Gaara looking the mirror singing it to himself.



Gaara the happy, Naruto the oblivious and Sasuke the jealous



Gaara gazed deeply at his reflection in the full length mirror he had just unfolded. He had bought the mirror in one of Konoha's many stores, one of them being a store specifically for the female ninja. He had bought the mirror which could be folded up into a small square, which as it said on the package was 'Handy for those I'm in the middle of battle and need to look good moments' he had also bought a comb which was still lost somewhere in his expanse of red locks.

It wasn't his fault his hair was wild, just like him. He was wild like the desert, wild like the the tiger, just all round wild looking.
In fact, if he was going to describe his type of beautiful face he would say it was untamed and unkempt handsomeness, why if he didn't want to devoted to being an insane killer he was sure he could become a male model. Everyone would fall at his feet as they prayed to the almighty god of good-looks. But he would just smile and wrap his arm around Naruto telling them that sadly he was taken and could not perform sexual acts on them Naruto would sigh adoringly star struck by his awesomeness.

He ran his hand over his chin hoping that some growth had occurred, he was disappointed to discover he was still as baby faced as ever, he had been hoping that stubble would grow which would add to his wild charm.
He nodded as he gave himself one more glance over. It was just as he thought, he was looking great.

Quickly he checked over the things he had done to prepare for his date with Naruto.
He had already made his gift and practised his lines, he even had time to choose where they would go before dinner. He had thought that they could perhaps watch someone have their head chopped off but this was not to be. Konoha really was a weak village, it didn't even have public executions! If they couldn't watch people hang then what did they do for entertainment around here?

Thankfully he had found an alternative, it wasn't as good as watching a man's head hit the ground as blood spurted all over the place, but still, there was lots of blood and dead things so it would do.
Gaara idly wondered if Naruto was trying to make himself look good for him, he was sure he was, but he could never compete with his utter drop dead gorgeous looks however hard he tried. Perhaps Naruto was bathing to make himself clean just in case they got naked together later on.

Yes, bathing, naked, scrubbing his hot body with soap as water ran down his chest and onto his muscled stomach. Naruto's head would tilt back as soapy bubbles would trail down his silky skin, his blonde locks flattened against his scalp as the hot water made him moan in pleasure. Perhaps Naruto would be thinking about him as he washed and call out his name breathily..
Oh Gaara...I can't wait for you to make my loins burn.

Gaara's dreams of a wet naked Naruto were however not true, Naruto was currently unconscious in his kitchen-living room after being hit over the head with a large log.

Naruto left eyebrow twitched as he awoke, he groaned as he noticed his rather sore head, he noted the headache and being unconscious and quickly he came to a conclusion. He had been attacked by his stalker while his guard was down. Damn his stalker was good, they knew his guard would be down when thinking of ramen and had attacked just at the right moment! Quickly he jumped up and got into a fighting stance, before surveying his kitchen-living room for any signs of his stalker, he sighed in relief but did not let his guard down, his instincts were telling him that his stalker could pounce at any moment, and since his rarely used mind had gone and lost itself once the death-threats started coming he had to go with his instincts.

Naruto stopped dead for a moment as his instincts told him to check his body for any signs of ravaging, Naruto looked down and found that his clothes were still on and his virgin body untouched, his body slumped over as he thanked whatever gods were listening.

He paused once again as he remembered what he had promised only a few hours earlier, he had to go on a date, with an insane murderer. Quickly he started getting ready for a potential life threatening situation.

How did he prepare? He went about collecting as many weapons as he could find, which included a set of wooden stakes he had fashioned out of a broomstick. Soon many various weapons were in every nook and cranny of his clothing. His pockets were full to capacity because just in case Gaara or his stalker tried something, he could say that it was a kunai in his pocket and no he wasn't happy to see them.

He was ready to go, only one thing missing, his rabbit fur hat which he quickly picked up off the table and put on his head but not before slipping a few shurinken under it. He didn't even pause as one of the shurinken cut into his head as he was too busy being a paranoid freak and also because his head was a hard as granite. How did he knew his head was very hard? An unfortunate accident in which he locked himself out of his house and had to use himself as a battering ram. Not many things could knock out Naruto, it seemed psychopathic stalker was one of these things (Large heavy logs also worked).

Naruto looked at the door as the doorbell rang, he wordlessly walked over to the door and opened it up, as he guessed it was Gaara holding what looked like roses, only that they were made of sand and it seemed that the red petals were dripping red fluid. Gaara handed the roses over to Naruto who sniffed them cautiously, they gave off an interesting smell and curiosity got the better of him.

"They smell strange, what is that smell?" Naruto demanded to know.

"Blood," Gaara his face impassive as ever although inwardly he was smiling happy that Naruto had noticed all the hard work he had put into making roses smell nice instead of the horrible sweet smell they usually gave off.

Naruto grimaced and put the roses on the table to deal with when he got back, cautiously he glanced around outside and finding no sign of his stalker he stepped outside, Gaara quickly grabbed Naruto's hand, he had to make sure everyone knew who owned Naruto so that they didn't try and steal him.

Gaara walked briskly towards their first destination glaring at anyone who even so much at hinted at looking at his Naruto. Naruto was trying his best to look around at his surroundings making sure his stalker wasn't going to jump out at him, which he was sure his stalker would do, he wasn't safe anywhere, even in his own home! He was now definitely going to have to find a nice hut in the middle of nowhere, he had even found out what he could be called.

The wild-man of The Fire county. It had a nice ring to it, or perhaps he could be known as, The crazy hermit who lives up a mountain with his only friends Mr kunai and Mr shurinken. That sounded even cooler, and threatening also. He paused in his mindless rambling as he bumped into the back of Gaara.

Gaara smirked slightly as he felt Naruto trying to cop a feel of his sexy body, he knew Naruto would want to worship his body sooner or later, and his love was being so open about his gropes. Why if he wasn't staring emotionlessly at Sasuke he would have returned the amorous touches.

Naruto glanced over Gaara's shoulder and glared at Sasuke, who had interrupted his choosing of a name. Sasuke was as emotionless as ever as he stood with his hands in his pocket in his classic cool pose that would have made many a girl swoon, Gaara and Naruto, however were not teenage fan girls, however much Sasuke wished Naruto would sigh and giggle at his coolness.

Sasuke may have been emotionless on the the outside but inwardly he was crying heartfelt tears at what he had just seen, Naruto was holding Gaara's hand and doing indecent things to him. His chance had been and gone, Naruto was now happy with someone other than him, he could tell, but perhaps it was just something innocent, perhaps Gaara had forced him to do these things. A glimmer of hope sprung up in his heart, he had to know.

"What are you doing with him, Dobe?" He asked cooly his hair ruffling in a sudden and unexpected gust of wind.

"He's on a date with me," Gaara said for Naruto as his teal eyes narrowed slightly, he knew a rival for Naruto when he saw one. Silently he placed an arm around Naruto just to make sure that Sasuke knew who owned the blonde.

Naruto did not notice the arm as he seemed to have got lost somewhere in between the two sentences that were spoken and was glancing around nervously not really paying attention to anything, he was lost in his paranoia and bizarre plotting of names.

"Hn," Was all Sasuke said in reply, his jealousy and buckets of tears hidden deep within him. Casually he walked off in the opposite direction the two had been going on.

Gaara smirked, proud that he had fended off a potential rival with his masculine prowess, he begun walking as he dragged Naruto off in the direction they were supposed to be going his arm still around Naruto.

Sasuke stopped walking and turned around, he was going to follow them, and sabotage their date, and then he could steal Naruto back from under Gaara's nose, then things would go back to normal, he would pine after Naruto, and Naruto would go back to being alone with no boyfriend and ignorant to Sasuke's pining.

These thoughts did not go unnoticed by a certain S-class criminal who had been following his little brother all day, he knew exactly what his beloved was thinking, and he couldn't let it happen. He would have to sabotage Sasuke's attempts at sabotage, then the red head and Naruto would be together and he could have Sasuke to himself, he cackled in a typical evil bastard manner as a flash of lightening occurred behind him in a blue cloudless sky.







Okay so its not the date, but people didn't seem to want me to finish so quickly and these ideas just wouldn't leave my head. I'm actually starting to worry about my own writing, i want to see how far Gaara's ego will swell, because it's getting big.
The more reviews the more chapters.