The meeting with the lawyer was brief, but Monica was emotionally exhausted from the entire ordeal. She couldn't help but second-guess her decision to divorce Paul. What would this do to Emily? No, her mind scolded her, he is not the kind of father for her. He's better than no father, she argued with herself. What about Chandler? her mind came back with.
Monica jumped visibly, and Chandler turned in his seat to inspect her. "Are you okay?" he mouthed silently, and she nodded, biting her lower lip. He smiled slightly and took her petite hand in his, stroking the top of her fingers comfortingly with his thumb as the lawyer continued to ask questions.
"Well, Monica, I think we have a valid case against your husband. I will draw up the papers, and my office will contact him," her lawyer summarized. "Your divorce should be finalized in about six months."
Monica just nodded, too overwhelmed to speak. A divorce. I'll be divorced, was all her mind could process. Chandler shook the lawyer's hand and thanked him for the meeting. Placing his hand gently on her lower back, he escorted Monica out of the office.
Once outside, he put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed affectionately. "Are you okay?" he asked again.
"I just want to go home," she whispered.
He nodded, and they walked the distance together.
Later that night, Monica sat on the couch with watching the news, but she couldn't pay attention. So much seemed to have happened to her, and in some ways, she supposed she had grown from the tribulations. Emily lay sleeping with her head on her mummy's lap, and Monica smiled down at her daughter. No matter what, she would always be thankful that she had Emily. She resolved to be strong for her daughter. She would become just as she was before Paul.
Set in her resolution, she switched the television off, and gently lifted Emily into her arms. Carrying her to her bedroom, she turned down the soft pink coverlet and lowered the sleeping girl onto the mattress. Tucking her in, she kissed Emily's forehead. Her daughter immediately turned on her side, clutching her teddy bear that was next to her in the bed. Monica smiled, taking a moment to cement the memory. Emily was growing up so fast. She needs a daddy, came the thought. Monica shook her head to clear her thoughts, and turned the light switch off. She checked to make sure the nightlight came on, then closed the door with a soft 'click.'
In her room, she sat on the corner of the bed and picked up the remote to her stereo. She pressed play for the CD controls, and Laura Pausini's voice floated quietly in the room.
If you're gonna break my heart and leave
Make promises you don't intend to keep
If that's love then I want no part
Paul always promised to stop hitting her, and would tell her how much she meant to him. His word would hold until the next drinking binge.
But if you think that love should last for life
If you believe it's more than just one night
If that's love then you've got my heart
And if you'd rather hold on to your pride
Than wipe away the tears you made me cry
If that's love then I want no part
But if you're gonna be there when I need
Someone to just hold me tenderly
If that's love then you've got my heart
Her mind went back to all the times Chandler held her in his arms, and she couldn't escape the feeling of complete safety when she was enveloped in
his strong embrace.
If the kinda love that you bring
Comes with no demands and no strings
If in your eyes I see for sure
That you're the one I'm waiting for
I'll give my heart, my soul, my everything
His eyes held the same look of longing, the same passion, whenever he
looked at her.
If I have to let go of my dreams
Become someone I never never thought I'd be
If that's love than I want, I want no part
Her marriage to Paul had changed her. Before, she was stubborn, headstrong, and independent. Now she was broken, submissive, and a victim. But no more.
But if you're gonna be that kind of man
Who's willing just to take me as I am
If that's love then you've got my heart
Chandler had told her that he couldn't rescue her. But he was willing to
be with her, whatever it took.
Tell me in your arms I'll be safe,
Where loneliness and fear have no place
The only thing you have to do
The only thing I ask of you
Is give your heart, your soul and your faith
She felt safe in his arms, always. All he can give me is his heart, she thought, and he's already done so. A single tear fell from her eyes and splashed delicately on the bedspread. Monica watched, entranced as the moisture spread on the cotton comforter. Can I give him mine?
And if you cannot give those things to me
Then I just have to tell you honestly
If that's love I want no part
But if you say you've finally found in me
The only place that you could ever be
If that's love you've got my heart
If that's love baby you've got my heart
If that's love
If that's love
If that's love baby you baby you
You've got my heart
Monica crawled under the covers, and snuggled deep into the mattress for warmth. Clutching her sheets tightly in one fist, she fell into a fitful sleep.
The next morning, she was jolted awake by Emily, who streaked into her room and jumped on the bed. "Mama, get up! Get up!" she giggled. "Flowers for you!"
What on earth? Monica thought groggily as she struggled to disentangle herself from the bedsheets. She followed a bouncing Emily into the living room and gasped aloud in shock.
Hundreds of roses filled the living room and kitchen. Monica turned slowly, taking in the brilliant shades of yellow, pink, white, lilac, orange, and red. On the table, a trio of crystal vases boasted six dozen blood-red roses with baby's breath nestled in between. A small paper envelope lay on the base. Monica picked it up and turned it over. The envelope was sealed by a small circle of red wax. She broke the seal and read:
One word frees us
Of all the weight and pain in life,
That word is Love
Monica smiled. "Who are they from, Mama?" asked Emily.
"I'm not really sure, sweetie," she responded.
"I think you know," came a voice from the doorway. Monica looked up in surprise. Chandler and Joey stood in the hallway, Chandler's eyes fixed on Monica. Joey looked between the two of them and smiled. "C'mon, cutie," he winked at Emily. "Let's go watch cartoons."
"Yay! Cartoons!" Emily was easily distracted and followed Joey into the apartment across the hall.
The door shut, and neither Monica nor Chandler moved. Both stared intently at the other's face, trying to discern each expression. Monica remained stoic and frozen, simply breathless at the look of intensity in Chandler's eyes.
Chandler let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, and felt an immediate lightheadedness. He slowly walked towards Monica, whispering:
To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.
"I know who you are Monica," he said softly when he reached her and held her hands in his own. "I know your heart, your fire, and your life. I know your song," he referred to the poem. "I want you to remember it again." He leaned forward and touched his forehead to hers before giving her a chaste kiss. "If you'll let me, I will teach it to you."
Monica's head was spinning. She couldn't think or speak. All she could do was look back at him evenly, still devoid of emotion. Not because she didn't feel something, but because she couldn't express it, it overwhelmed her so.
Tears began to form and Chandler let go of her hands and wiped them away with his thumbs. "I promise you that we will argue," he said quietly. "I promise you that the times ahead for both of us will be troubled. But I can also promise you that the only tears you cry because of me will be from happiness."
Monica nodded, still crying silently. "So this is what happiness feels like," she whispered.
Chandler smiled and placed his hand on her cheek, stroking gently. "I love you, Monica."
"I love you, too," she replied, feeling a heavy weight being lifted from her. Relieved, she leant forward and met his lips in a tender kiss, throwing her arms around his neck, still crying tears of happiness.
I know, sappy! But hey, who can resist a corny ending now and then. Should I write an epilogue? It all depends on the reviews I get. PLEASE go to my website (newly redesigned) and leave a message in my guestbook! It's horribly empty!
P.S. Lyrics are from "If That's Love" by Laura Pausini. Letter from Chandler is a quote by Socrates, but what he recites to Monica is by an unknown author. Cheers!