Disclaimer: really, If I were God, I'd do no fanfiction gg
JOSHUA
lyrics out of Händel's masterpiece "Joshua"
"Joshua fit the battle of Jericho, Jericho, Jericho...."
chapter 1: The Journey and Stuff
Joshua, in his best years of life, standing somewhere in the desert, sun burning down on him, and in the desert it's quite hot, being the leader of hundreds and thousands Israelis who he should bring......
somewhere, he didn't know exactly where it was, but he knew that he was on the sright way.
"We're wrong, Joshua..... I told before!!", yelled Caleb, who was older than Joshua, standing next to him...
"Yeah, yeah....", muttered the young man, bound his light brown hair back, and went on, "we're on the right way, trust me"
"Why should I trust you?!?!", asked the older man who was furious about his dark hair hanging always in his face and put it back.
"I don't know...maybe because God chose me, and not you", Josh smiled.
Caleb grunted but said nothing more...
Joshua knew, that they were on the right way to somewhere, where they should get.
He turned round and looked down at the people who followed him. Everyone had some stuff to carry, or a donkey, or a horse, which carried it.
All of them were exhausted and wanted a break....
But there was one thing Joshua knew, they would do everything he told them, even if they'd be nearly dead, but that was sure.
Josh pulled out the megaphone
"Well, dudes! Now, stand on your right foot", he shouted through it and all Israelis stood on the right foot, the right from their point of view.
"I meant the right from my point of view!!!"
...and all hopped from THEIR right to Josh's right.
"damn", shouted a guy from the very end of the row, who dropped his pot which shattered.
Suddenly Caleb went up to Josh and grabbed the megaphone.
He stemmed his hands on the hip, took a deep breath and...
"HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU NOT TO BE STUPID!!!"
"Sorry, mate...."
"DON'T "MATE" ME!!! I'M OLDER THAN YOU AND...."
"Hey Caleb, can I marry your daughter", peeped a cheered up and teenaged Othniel, who stretched out his hand and waited for Caleb to take it.
"....I'M ALREADY MARRIED AND...not now, young boy...AND I SHOULD HAVE..."
Othniel turned round to his girl, shook his blond head, and asked her what he should do, so she answered. "Ask him again", and he did,
"Can I marry your daughter now?", in the same high pitched voice.
The older man looked slightly wondered and turned to his daughter, "Achsa, who's that boy?!?!"
"That's my new boyfriend", said the girl sheepishly, put a brown strain back her ear and blushed.
"Your boyfriend?!?!", first his face was blank, but then he became furious and his face went red.
Josh ambled, faster than normal, to the guy on the very end of the row, who had let fallen his pot before.
Achsa ducked behind Othniel who was shouted at,
"NEVER, EVER THOUCH MY DAUGHTER!!!! IF I SEE YOU JUST LOOKING AT HER THEN RUN!!!" And that was exactly what Othniel did.
When Caleb calmed down, and Joshua returned from his little trip to the far, far end of the row back to the front on the hill, the sun was just setting on the horizon.
"You know what?", asked Josh after gasping from being exhausted.
"PITCH THE CAMP!!!", yelled Caleb down the hill.
All Israelis sighed and were glad to have a break.
"That was exactly what I wanted to say", muttered Joshua under his breath.
"What did you say"?, asked Caleb with a smirk.
"Forget it, 'kay?"
When the camp was deployed, and some fires were made. When the moon shone and some lovers, we don't name them, sat in the shadows and kissed. When all children had gone to bed and some mothers still read stories for them, Caleb and Joshua were sitting in front of a fire with some other people.
Joshua leaned on a stone and read the book "How to find the promised land in a short and save – by GOD" which he got from Moses. Caleb hummed something under his breath.
Suddenly someone, from a other bonfire, jumped to his feet and yelled, "Let's sing something!!!"
The rest of the Israelis grunted and went back to their discussion, until..
"Yea!!! Lets sing something!!!", screamed Josh, jumped on the stone, throw the book down and begun...
"SHE LOVES YOU YEEEEEEEAA YEAAAAAA YEAAAA.."
Now Caleb jumped on his feet, hustled Joshua off the stone and said, "Something more tactful, okay? Boy, typical"
"What?!", asked a quite astonished Joshua, but he'll never get an answer because his older friend started singing...
"Ye sons of Israel, ye sons of Israel, ev'ry tribe attend, let grateful songs and hymns to heav'n ascend. In Gilgal and on Jorand's banks proclaim; one first, one great, one Lord Jehovah's name. ...", all the others begun, suddenly, to sing until the early morning sun crept up.
"Where did I throw this damn, stupid book??", yelled Joshua and searched around the fire pit and around the stone.
"Are you searching this", smirked Caleb and held up the book, "How to find the promised land in a short and save", I knew, that you don't know where to go!! Ha! Now it's official!!"
"Yea, shout a bit louder! I think the pharaoh in Egypt didn't hear you!!"
"JOSHUA DON'T...."
"SHUT UP! I know the way, right?", yelled Joshua and some mothers flinched and held their children's ears.
"Say it", said Caleb in a dead calm voice.
"Say what??"
"That you don't know the way"
"I know the way, 'kay. Look...", he grabbed the book from Caleb, flipped it open, turned round, and said, "we've just got to go to the west..", and pointed somewhere in the desert, without looking up.
"'this not the west..."
"... and then we'll see a huge, massive stone..."
"...we passed your stone two days ahead..."
".. and then we'll meet someone, who'll tell us what to do..."
"... and who is your someone?"
Joshua blinked. "Where should I know it!!??"
"Let's get on", said the young man and so they wandered again one week.
One week without finding the promised land, one week without singing, and one week... with Caleb saying every three seconds that Joshua don't know the way and that they were walking in circles.
"I KNOW THE STUPID WAY!!! AND WE'RE NOT WALKING IN CIRCLES!!!"
And that was proofed when they reached the Jordan. An enormous, wild river with blue – green water, signing the passage to the promised land.
"You know what?", asked Joshua Caleb.
"No, but I'm sure that you're going to tell me", replayed the older man who was slightly bored off.
"I'm going to be first Israeli man passing the Jordan", declared the younger man.
"I'm sure your parents would be sooooo proud of you, wouldn't they?"
"Well, yes. I sup–", but he has never finished this sentence.
"BUT I'M GOING TO BE THE FIRST TEENAGER WHO PASSES THE JORDAN!!!", yelled Othniel, running up to the river. He looked once more over his shoulder, glared and saw a shocked Joshua nearly fainting next to Caleb, who didn't know what to say.
The teenager held out his foot, set it in the river.... nearly. He stopped above it and waited for someone to stop him doing it.
"DON'T YOU DARE!!!", screamed Josh from the back... but it was too late.
"YOU – " Birds chattered and flew up to the sky.
"Hey, that wasn't nice!!", cried Othniel.
"It wasn't supposed to be"
The journey went on, one week.
And it was one week, when a child ran ahead, over a sandy hill, shielding his eyes from the sun and looking into the horizon, they had found it!
"There is something green!!", yelled the boy and both, Josh and Caleb, were on the hill at once...
"Ha! I was first", cheered Joshua and made a dance thingy.
When he had calmed down he turned to Caleb, smirked, took a deep breath and...
"I'VE FOUND THE RIGHT WAY TO THE PROMISED LAAAAAAAAAND AND NOT YOOUUU!!!!", so that everyone in 50 miles around could hear it.
Caleb just couldn't believe that Joshua, this Joshua, who needs a book to find the promised land, who was too young to lead a whole nation, had actually found where they wanted to get.
But there was something which let him smirk again and which made him think, that he was right after all...
"Good, but what do you, oh great leader, know what to do with the people from Canaan? They won't be nice to us, will they?"
Well, that was a good question, wasn't it?
"We'll deal with it later. Hey look!!", yelled Josh and pointed to his right side, ".. there is the huge stone!!"
Caleb sighed and just couldn't believe it.
And so they went down the sandy hill up to the promised land, which was greener that everything else.
JOSHUA
lyrics out of Händel's masterpiece "Joshua"
"Joshua fit the battle of Jericho, Jericho, Jericho...."
chapter 1: The Journey and Stuff
Joshua, in his best years of life, standing somewhere in the desert, sun burning down on him, and in the desert it's quite hot, being the leader of hundreds and thousands Israelis who he should bring......
somewhere, he didn't know exactly where it was, but he knew that he was on the sright way.
"We're wrong, Joshua..... I told before!!", yelled Caleb, who was older than Joshua, standing next to him...
"Yeah, yeah....", muttered the young man, bound his light brown hair back, and went on, "we're on the right way, trust me"
"Why should I trust you?!?!", asked the older man who was furious about his dark hair hanging always in his face and put it back.
"I don't know...maybe because God chose me, and not you", Josh smiled.
Caleb grunted but said nothing more...
Joshua knew, that they were on the right way to somewhere, where they should get.
He turned round and looked down at the people who followed him. Everyone had some stuff to carry, or a donkey, or a horse, which carried it.
All of them were exhausted and wanted a break....
But there was one thing Joshua knew, they would do everything he told them, even if they'd be nearly dead, but that was sure.
Josh pulled out the megaphone
"Well, dudes! Now, stand on your right foot", he shouted through it and all Israelis stood on the right foot, the right from their point of view.
"I meant the right from my point of view!!!"
...and all hopped from THEIR right to Josh's right.
"damn", shouted a guy from the very end of the row, who dropped his pot which shattered.
Suddenly Caleb went up to Josh and grabbed the megaphone.
He stemmed his hands on the hip, took a deep breath and...
"HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU NOT TO BE STUPID!!!"
"Sorry, mate...."
"DON'T "MATE" ME!!! I'M OLDER THAN YOU AND...."
"Hey Caleb, can I marry your daughter", peeped a cheered up and teenaged Othniel, who stretched out his hand and waited for Caleb to take it.
"....I'M ALREADY MARRIED AND...not now, young boy...AND I SHOULD HAVE..."
Othniel turned round to his girl, shook his blond head, and asked her what he should do, so she answered. "Ask him again", and he did,
"Can I marry your daughter now?", in the same high pitched voice.
The older man looked slightly wondered and turned to his daughter, "Achsa, who's that boy?!?!"
"That's my new boyfriend", said the girl sheepishly, put a brown strain back her ear and blushed.
"Your boyfriend?!?!", first his face was blank, but then he became furious and his face went red.
Josh ambled, faster than normal, to the guy on the very end of the row, who had let fallen his pot before.
Achsa ducked behind Othniel who was shouted at,
"NEVER, EVER THOUCH MY DAUGHTER!!!! IF I SEE YOU JUST LOOKING AT HER THEN RUN!!!" And that was exactly what Othniel did.
When Caleb calmed down, and Joshua returned from his little trip to the far, far end of the row back to the front on the hill, the sun was just setting on the horizon.
"You know what?", asked Josh after gasping from being exhausted.
"PITCH THE CAMP!!!", yelled Caleb down the hill.
All Israelis sighed and were glad to have a break.
"That was exactly what I wanted to say", muttered Joshua under his breath.
"What did you say"?, asked Caleb with a smirk.
"Forget it, 'kay?"
When the camp was deployed, and some fires were made. When the moon shone and some lovers, we don't name them, sat in the shadows and kissed. When all children had gone to bed and some mothers still read stories for them, Caleb and Joshua were sitting in front of a fire with some other people.
Joshua leaned on a stone and read the book "How to find the promised land in a short and save – by GOD" which he got from Moses. Caleb hummed something under his breath.
Suddenly someone, from a other bonfire, jumped to his feet and yelled, "Let's sing something!!!"
The rest of the Israelis grunted and went back to their discussion, until..
"Yea!!! Lets sing something!!!", screamed Josh, jumped on the stone, throw the book down and begun...
"SHE LOVES YOU YEEEEEEEAA YEAAAAAA YEAAAA.."
Now Caleb jumped on his feet, hustled Joshua off the stone and said, "Something more tactful, okay? Boy, typical"
"What?!", asked a quite astonished Joshua, but he'll never get an answer because his older friend started singing...
"Ye sons of Israel, ye sons of Israel, ev'ry tribe attend, let grateful songs and hymns to heav'n ascend. In Gilgal and on Jorand's banks proclaim; one first, one great, one Lord Jehovah's name. ...", all the others begun, suddenly, to sing until the early morning sun crept up.
"Where did I throw this damn, stupid book??", yelled Joshua and searched around the fire pit and around the stone.
"Are you searching this", smirked Caleb and held up the book, "How to find the promised land in a short and save", I knew, that you don't know where to go!! Ha! Now it's official!!"
"Yea, shout a bit louder! I think the pharaoh in Egypt didn't hear you!!"
"JOSHUA DON'T...."
"SHUT UP! I know the way, right?", yelled Joshua and some mothers flinched and held their children's ears.
"Say it", said Caleb in a dead calm voice.
"Say what??"
"That you don't know the way"
"I know the way, 'kay. Look...", he grabbed the book from Caleb, flipped it open, turned round, and said, "we've just got to go to the west..", and pointed somewhere in the desert, without looking up.
"'this not the west..."
"... and then we'll see a huge, massive stone..."
"...we passed your stone two days ahead..."
".. and then we'll meet someone, who'll tell us what to do..."
"... and who is your someone?"
Joshua blinked. "Where should I know it!!??"
"Let's get on", said the young man and so they wandered again one week.
One week without finding the promised land, one week without singing, and one week... with Caleb saying every three seconds that Joshua don't know the way and that they were walking in circles.
"I KNOW THE STUPID WAY!!! AND WE'RE NOT WALKING IN CIRCLES!!!"
And that was proofed when they reached the Jordan. An enormous, wild river with blue – green water, signing the passage to the promised land.
"You know what?", asked Joshua Caleb.
"No, but I'm sure that you're going to tell me", replayed the older man who was slightly bored off.
"I'm going to be first Israeli man passing the Jordan", declared the younger man.
"I'm sure your parents would be sooooo proud of you, wouldn't they?"
"Well, yes. I sup–", but he has never finished this sentence.
"BUT I'M GOING TO BE THE FIRST TEENAGER WHO PASSES THE JORDAN!!!", yelled Othniel, running up to the river. He looked once more over his shoulder, glared and saw a shocked Joshua nearly fainting next to Caleb, who didn't know what to say.
The teenager held out his foot, set it in the river.... nearly. He stopped above it and waited for someone to stop him doing it.
"DON'T YOU DARE!!!", screamed Josh from the back... but it was too late.
"YOU – " Birds chattered and flew up to the sky.
"Hey, that wasn't nice!!", cried Othniel.
"It wasn't supposed to be"
The journey went on, one week.
And it was one week, when a child ran ahead, over a sandy hill, shielding his eyes from the sun and looking into the horizon, they had found it!
"There is something green!!", yelled the boy and both, Josh and Caleb, were on the hill at once...
"Ha! I was first", cheered Joshua and made a dance thingy.
When he had calmed down he turned to Caleb, smirked, took a deep breath and...
"I'VE FOUND THE RIGHT WAY TO THE PROMISED LAAAAAAAAAND AND NOT YOOUUU!!!!", so that everyone in 50 miles around could hear it.
Caleb just couldn't believe that Joshua, this Joshua, who needs a book to find the promised land, who was too young to lead a whole nation, had actually found where they wanted to get.
But there was something which let him smirk again and which made him think, that he was right after all...
"Good, but what do you, oh great leader, know what to do with the people from Canaan? They won't be nice to us, will they?"
Well, that was a good question, wasn't it?
"We'll deal with it later. Hey look!!", yelled Josh and pointed to his right side, ".. there is the huge stone!!"
Caleb sighed and just couldn't believe it.
And so they went down the sandy hill up to the promised land, which was greener that everything else.