Chapter 3
Angel approached Willow cautiously. He had always gotten along well with Willow (she had been more forgiving of him then the others when he had returned from hell) but what he wanted to discuss with her was going to strike all kinds of nerves.
"I think I know what you want to talk to me about." The vampire relaxed a little.
"Good, I had no idea how to, um, broach this."
"Well, I can understand why. I mean this isn't the kind of thing that you could just come to Buffy with."
"I wish I could but that would just open doors that I don't think either of us are emotionally prepared to go through."
"I don't know about that. She has matured quite a bit since you last saw her. I mean, it can't have been easy to hear that she was involved with Spike."
"No, it wasn't." Angel admitted. Then he paused for a minute. "Are you quite sure that were on the same subject?"
"This does have to do with your relationship with Cordelia, right?" Angel was flattened.
"How did you...?" The redhead gave a smile.
"I figured it out when you told us the story about what had been going on. Fred and Gunn filled in some of the blanks."
Angel took this in. "You really are as smart as everybody says you are. "
"Thank you. Look, I won't pretend that Buffy won't be upset about. I think losing you to Cordelia was always one of her worst nightmares; but you haven't been together for a long time. She more than anyone else knows about workplace romances better than anybody."
Angel was beginning to wonder if maybe Willow was going on one of those mental field trips that she had done often during high school. "Thanks, but you know that's not why I wanted to talk to you."
"No, of course it isn't." The witch paused. "It's about Xander right?."
"Yeah." The vampire sighed. "I think I know what he's going through. The pain,the sorrow of losing someone who meant so much to you."
"It's not like that for him." Now Willow took a deep breath. "Back in Sunnydale, I once called him a demon magnet. I think that every girl he ended up going out with had some demon in her. I just don't think he ever expected that Cordelia would be one of them. Add the fact that he lost Anya, and I don't think he was mentally prepared to take anything else."
"Cordelia isn't dead."
"No, she's just in a coma with almost no chance of recovery. To be perfectly honest, he might have been more able to adjust if Cordelia had died. Death is a concrete concept. You may not like it, but its something that you can get your head around. To have her like this is probably worse for Xander."
Angel pondered this for a moment. "Did you come upon this enlightened decision before or after you tried to destroy the world?" Looking at Willow, he quickly followed up with: "I'm sorry; that was a cheap shot."
"Yes it was." She sighed. "It also happens to be the truth. The two women who he really loved are both gone. One is dead and the other is worse. Xander can't go into that kind of rage; he doesn't have the power and it's not in his nature. He's reacting to this in the only way that he can."
"I know that. But I also know you can't stay in your room and mourn all day."
"Yeah? How long did you grieve when Holtz took Connor from you?" When he looked at her, she said: "Now we're even."
"All right. But there comes a point in anybody's suffering when you have to move on. For Xander's own sake, he's got to get it together. He's never going to get over this if he just spends every day at Cordelia's bedside."
"He has been working, Angel. But you know without any really big nasty on the horizon, it's not as if he has a compelling reason to move on."
Angel paused. "Then... Maybe he shouldn't be working here."
"What! You're going to fire him because he's still grieving?"
"I'm saying, maybe this isn't the healthiest environment for him. Maybe it would be better for him if he were to work away from all this."
"Oh." Willow paused ."Have you brought any of this up with him?"
The vampire sighed. "He's never liked talking to me under normal circumstances. If I were to tell him about what happened between me and Cordelia..."
"He'd go nuclear."
"You always got along better with him than anyone else. He would listen to you. Maybe you could tell him..." Angel trailed off. He couldn't think of anything involving mourning that wouldn't sound hypocritical coming from him.
"It's been awhile since I had a talk with him anyway. Maybe I can figure out what he needs in order to get on with living normally."
"Just get him to talk. Tell him... That there are people here he can talk to. He doesn't have to bear this all himself."
Willow paused. "OK. " She looked at her watch. "Might as well do it now."
"You don't have to do this right now. When you're ready..."
"I am ready." She hesitated. "Besides it's either this, or spend the rest of evening looking through Sumerian." She gave a weak smile.
"OK." He paused. "Thank you."
"Hey, what are friends for?" She spoke lightly but he felt a weird buzz go through him "You OK?"
"Sorry, it's just... been a while since anybody called me their friend."
"Well, if it bothers you, think of us as lost souls trying to atone." He looked at her. "Hey that class in poetry has got to count for something."
AS Willow walked off, Angel felt a rare burst of calm go through him. This, if it wasn't resolved, was at least in better hands than his. Then he felt guilty for passing the buck to her, even if she was more qualified to solve this problem than he was.
He sighed. Would there ever come a time when a simple action didn't bring a feeling of guilt? He put that aside and prepared to get back to work.
Fred didn't know why she had volunteered to talk with Andrew. In the three weeks that he had been working here, she didn't think that she had so much as exchanged words with him more than twice. What's more, based on what little she knew about him, there wasn't a great deal to suggest they had anything in common. Granted they were both somewhat geeky, but her kind of intelligence was a combination of physics and old languages, whereas his was more a mixture of science fiction along with a slight dose of magic. Apart from the fact that technically she was his boss, she didn't think she would have ever crossed paths with him.
The only reason that she could think of that she would want to speak with him was that she had sensed that he was a real outsider. It wasn't that the other people at Angel Slayer Inc. were all extroverts, but Andrew seemed to be really off on his own tangent. She could relate to that very well: the first three months after her return from Pylea she had separated herself from the efforts of the rest of Angel Investigations attempts to ease her back into the real world. She had spent most of that time writing incomprehensible equations on the walls of her room before she had finally been able to get out of the building. She didn't think Andrew was anywhere near that bad, but she didn't think that anybody (with the surprising exception of Faith, who talked to him every few days) had really had a conversation with him since he had settled into his new job. Maybe she had felt that they had needed to know that he was not alone and maybe she could talk some sense into him.
By now she had arrived at Andrew's office. She couldn't help but notice that the only identification that anyone was working here was a paper on which the words Andrew Grusynzki, Storyteller had been written in black marker. Everyone else in the building had their names and titles painted on the door of their offices. Granted none of them really used their offices that much, and you were more likely to find people together than alone in their offices, but the fact remained that they had their offices at least looked professional and here was the one person who really seemed to be using his office looked more like he had been put in the corner. Well, if nothing else, she could see to it that this was fixed.
She knocked. "Andrew?" No response. "Andrew, it's Fred." Realizing he might not be able to put a name with her face, she added: "The guy with the effeminate voice?"
There was another pause. Fred was about to knock again when the door opened. Andrew's face emerged
"Hi. Um, sorry I took so long. It's just well, it has been a while since I had any visitors." There was an awkward silence. "What can I... Is there something I can do for you?"
Now that he was here, Fred realized that she had no idea how to approach this. "Um, I was wondering... Well there's been a certain amount of...concern about..." She trailed off. "Could I come in?"
Andrew looked floored. At first, Fred wondered if, like Wesley and Gunn, he was going to be another one of those men who fawned over her. Then she remembered what little she knew about him and figured he was surprised that ANY girl would voluntarily want to talk with him.
"Sure, the place is a little messy but... Come in."
Fred entered the room not entirely sure what she was going to see. She had heard that Andrew had decided to tell the story of the last days of Sunnydale that he was going to write it instead of making a film. Apparently because of his actions at home, the Sunnydale contingency had been relieved-Willow said he was a bad narrator. Fred wasn't sure. It had taken an hour for that group to tell part of the story. Given the right material, it could be strung out for days.
She was not surprised to find that there were a lot of books in the room Some of them were Watchers diaries that Giles had kept in secret over the last few months. But there were others that she couldn't make a connection with. One of them was a history of the Boxer Rebellion. Another was a New York Times paper for the 1970's.And yet another was apparently written in Arabic- from what little she could read about some kind of purifying ritual.
And on the wall were several pieces of paper with writing on them. Some had crude drawings on them; but most featured names or phrases written in black Magic Marker and several scribbles in pen. One of the clearer ones was 'Spike c. 1880' (with 'William the Bloody 'scrawled under it). To the left of that was one marked 'Drusilla c.1860'. And to the left of that was one marked 'Angel/Angelus c. 1750'. Suddenly, Fred had an idea of what he was doing though she couldn't figure out what this had to do with the First.
"I know that it all seems kind of confusing-" Andrew began.
"Actually, I think I see what you're doing." Fred walked towards the wall. "You're tracing vampire lineage through their sires, kind of like how genealogists trace their families back. The dates are around when they were sired." She looked to the left of Angel. "Where's Darla?"
"I haven't gotten around to her. Most of the data about her is from the seventeenth century or earlier. A lot of those were destroyed."
"Well, this is also interesting." Fred looked at some of the highlighted sections under 'Angel'. She knew some of the story but much of it was new to her. "But I'm not sure what any of this has to do with the battle against the First."
"Oh right .Well, um, sit down-" he pulled up the one chair in the office. :"And I'll try to explain."
For a moment, she was reluctant to get involved with what might be a very long story. Then she figured that she had come this far and she owed Andrew that much. She sat down. "OK, but let's try not to take forever."
"All right. This was going to be simple- although how a project like this could be classified as simple is ludicrous- not that it would be undervaluing any of the work that we- or rather they..." Andrew was fumbling like someone who had neglected to do the studying for an oral report. "Maybe I'd better start again."
"It's all right." Fred tried to sound soothing. It seemed to work.
"I was going to tell in as much detail as possible the full story of the six months that Buffy, Spike, Willow and... Everyone else fought against the First. However, the problem came when I started to list what the First was and how it had become such a threat."
"Sounds reasonable." Fred said, realizing that that particular information had been omitted from the story Buffy and the others had told.
"I didn't have a problem describing WHAT the First was. I mean, it made its nature pretty clear to everybody. But what I could not understand was why after all the centuries and aeons spent being quiet, it had suddenly become 'real' and had determined to bring about the end of existence."
"Well, that doesn't sound that complicated. I mean, for all the smoke and mirrors, it just had your average kill-crush-destroy mentality towards the Planet." Fred had spent the past year dealing with villains who, for all their fancy trappings, had this basic mindset.
"Yes. But then I learned how this had come about. Apparently it happened when Willow and Xander had brought Buffy back from the dead the second time. Somehow that upset the balance between Good and Evil and gave the First its opening."
"Oh. Oh my." Suddenly Fred understood why Willow had not wanted to take full credit for bringing all the Slayers into existence. She had helped create the situation where this was needed." That's big, but I'm not sure I see the problem."
"Let's say that I were trying to tell the story of the battle in a linear, chronological way. Suppose I wrote: The First became a threat when Buffy was resurrected a second time. What is the obvious question that arises?" Andrew asked.
Fred thought a moment. "Why was Buffy resurrected the first time?" Andrew pointed at her.
"Got it. So then you have to explain the whole role of the Slayer. Not only that but you have to explain the role of her friends. And why she died the first time and it didn't take."
Fred thought this over. "Well, I'll admit that makes it a little tougher but can't you just do a few pages and then move on?"
"It's not that simple. There are a lot of stories connected with the Slayer and her friends. I only know a small fraction of what they went through and that would fill a novel in itself. Plus, a lot of the stories are interconnected and you need to know how to understand why."
"I'm still not sure that I follow." Andrew paused for a moment.
"OK, say that our situations were reversed. I wanted you to tell me about how Jasmine came into being."
Fred thought about this. "OK. Well, Jasmine was created when Cordelia got pregnant with Connor's son..."
"Stop. Why was Cordelia so critical to Jasmine's creation? Wasn't she one of the good guys?"
"Well...you see.... About a year ago she became part demon because the visions that she was having were killing her...Oh yeah, I can see where we might have some problems."
"Forget that part. Who was Connor?"
"Well, he was Angel's son who was born two years ago when Darla was...." Fred shook her head. "Yeah, this is gonna take a lot of explanation."
Andrew nodded. "And the story of Buffy and her friends, particularly Willow and Spike, is very intricate and requires explanations into who they were and who they eventually became. That above all is important. Spike was not the same vampire that he was five years ago. And it is important to explain why and what he did to make this happen."
"That is a problem." Fred said. She then went over to the piece of paper that had 'Spike' written on it. "Why have you put so much effort into finding out about Spike?"
"Well, we spent the better part of four months in the same house. I guess you could say we were both 'hostages'.
"And you became- friends?" Somehow this seemed unlikely.
Andrew shook his head. "God no. Guy would barely speak to me. Not that this was anything new; everyone in the house pretty much tried to forget that I existed. But in seeing him every day, I began wondering what had happened to him. I had known him pre-soul. Completely different from the vampire that I had known."
"I know what you're talking about. Angel and Angelus were completely different individuals." Fred shuddered, thinking of the cruel jibes that Angelus had made at the expense of them all.
"Yeah, I know. But according to the others, he began changing before he got his soul."
Fred was intrigued; none of the others had spoken much about Spike before the last few months. "Do you have any explanation as to why?"
"It has something to do with his relationship with Buffy, but nobody seems eager to talk much about it except Dawn. According to her, there was something compassionate about Spike even before he got his soul. She felt safe hanging out with him and he seemed to like her. And Buffy seemed very willing to entrust her to his safety on more than one occasion"
"Before he had his soul?" Andrew nodded. "And no one has an explanation as to how this was possible?"
Andrew paused. "I have a theory. It's more philosophical than scientific but..." he trailed off uncertainly
"Well, it wouldn't be the strangest thing that I've heard." Fred said curiously
"We think of the capacity to love as a human emotion. Something that is instilled in the hearts and souls of people. Well, when a person becomes a vampire, his heart is stopped and their soul is taken. They become cruel unfeeling monsters incapable of any kind of emotion at all." Andrew paused. "But what if those emotions are not gone but rather driven to a part of them that is so far down it has almost- but not completely-disappeared?"
"How would this be possible?" Fred asked.
Andrew shook his head. "I'm not sure. Vampires are capable of feeling love. Spike was in love with Drusilla for the better part of a century. Maybe it's only a shell of the real thing, but it's still there. What if that love Spike felt was somehow directed at Buffy? He felt this so deep he did something to get his soul back. What if it was that love more than anything else- that allowed him to become a Champion?"
For a moment, both of them were silent pondering this. Finally Fred broke the silence. "I don't know how true any of what you said is, but that was one of the most beautiful things I 've ever heard. "
"Thank you." said Andrew.
"You know everybody said you were death to talk with, but this is one of the most enjoyable conversations I've had in a while."
"Me too." Andrew looked at his watch. "It's a shame that we'll have to cut this short."
Fred was a little surprised. "You have a deadline or something?"
"No, I'm just going to stop for dinner and I'm sure that you have something far more important to do than to keep jabbering on with me."
Fred looked at her watch. He was right, but for some reason she didn't want to end this talk yet. And it wasn't only because she hadn't gotten around to the reason that she had come here to talk to him. "Where were you planning on eating?"
"Nowhere special, just the building cafeteria. Why?"
"Well, I haven't eaten yet." Actually she had eaten about two hours ago, but she was feeling a little peckish. "And I'd kind of like hear more about your story."
For a moment, she thought that Andrew wasn't going to respond. Then he swallowed and spoke: "You're sure I'm not keeping you from something important?"
"Hey, I'm in charge of my division. They can keep on working without me."
Andrew paused. "OK." The two of them walked down the hall. Fred told her self she was just have dinner with a colleague. There was nothing else involved in it Yet for some reason she felt more relaxed than she had in a while.
Angel approached Willow cautiously. He had always gotten along well with Willow (she had been more forgiving of him then the others when he had returned from hell) but what he wanted to discuss with her was going to strike all kinds of nerves.
"I think I know what you want to talk to me about." The vampire relaxed a little.
"Good, I had no idea how to, um, broach this."
"Well, I can understand why. I mean this isn't the kind of thing that you could just come to Buffy with."
"I wish I could but that would just open doors that I don't think either of us are emotionally prepared to go through."
"I don't know about that. She has matured quite a bit since you last saw her. I mean, it can't have been easy to hear that she was involved with Spike."
"No, it wasn't." Angel admitted. Then he paused for a minute. "Are you quite sure that were on the same subject?"
"This does have to do with your relationship with Cordelia, right?" Angel was flattened.
"How did you...?" The redhead gave a smile.
"I figured it out when you told us the story about what had been going on. Fred and Gunn filled in some of the blanks."
Angel took this in. "You really are as smart as everybody says you are. "
"Thank you. Look, I won't pretend that Buffy won't be upset about. I think losing you to Cordelia was always one of her worst nightmares; but you haven't been together for a long time. She more than anyone else knows about workplace romances better than anybody."
Angel was beginning to wonder if maybe Willow was going on one of those mental field trips that she had done often during high school. "Thanks, but you know that's not why I wanted to talk to you."
"No, of course it isn't." The witch paused. "It's about Xander right?."
"Yeah." The vampire sighed. "I think I know what he's going through. The pain,the sorrow of losing someone who meant so much to you."
"It's not like that for him." Now Willow took a deep breath. "Back in Sunnydale, I once called him a demon magnet. I think that every girl he ended up going out with had some demon in her. I just don't think he ever expected that Cordelia would be one of them. Add the fact that he lost Anya, and I don't think he was mentally prepared to take anything else."
"Cordelia isn't dead."
"No, she's just in a coma with almost no chance of recovery. To be perfectly honest, he might have been more able to adjust if Cordelia had died. Death is a concrete concept. You may not like it, but its something that you can get your head around. To have her like this is probably worse for Xander."
Angel pondered this for a moment. "Did you come upon this enlightened decision before or after you tried to destroy the world?" Looking at Willow, he quickly followed up with: "I'm sorry; that was a cheap shot."
"Yes it was." She sighed. "It also happens to be the truth. The two women who he really loved are both gone. One is dead and the other is worse. Xander can't go into that kind of rage; he doesn't have the power and it's not in his nature. He's reacting to this in the only way that he can."
"I know that. But I also know you can't stay in your room and mourn all day."
"Yeah? How long did you grieve when Holtz took Connor from you?" When he looked at her, she said: "Now we're even."
"All right. But there comes a point in anybody's suffering when you have to move on. For Xander's own sake, he's got to get it together. He's never going to get over this if he just spends every day at Cordelia's bedside."
"He has been working, Angel. But you know without any really big nasty on the horizon, it's not as if he has a compelling reason to move on."
Angel paused. "Then... Maybe he shouldn't be working here."
"What! You're going to fire him because he's still grieving?"
"I'm saying, maybe this isn't the healthiest environment for him. Maybe it would be better for him if he were to work away from all this."
"Oh." Willow paused ."Have you brought any of this up with him?"
The vampire sighed. "He's never liked talking to me under normal circumstances. If I were to tell him about what happened between me and Cordelia..."
"He'd go nuclear."
"You always got along better with him than anyone else. He would listen to you. Maybe you could tell him..." Angel trailed off. He couldn't think of anything involving mourning that wouldn't sound hypocritical coming from him.
"It's been awhile since I had a talk with him anyway. Maybe I can figure out what he needs in order to get on with living normally."
"Just get him to talk. Tell him... That there are people here he can talk to. He doesn't have to bear this all himself."
Willow paused. "OK. " She looked at her watch. "Might as well do it now."
"You don't have to do this right now. When you're ready..."
"I am ready." She hesitated. "Besides it's either this, or spend the rest of evening looking through Sumerian." She gave a weak smile.
"OK." He paused. "Thank you."
"Hey, what are friends for?" She spoke lightly but he felt a weird buzz go through him "You OK?"
"Sorry, it's just... been a while since anybody called me their friend."
"Well, if it bothers you, think of us as lost souls trying to atone." He looked at her. "Hey that class in poetry has got to count for something."
AS Willow walked off, Angel felt a rare burst of calm go through him. This, if it wasn't resolved, was at least in better hands than his. Then he felt guilty for passing the buck to her, even if she was more qualified to solve this problem than he was.
He sighed. Would there ever come a time when a simple action didn't bring a feeling of guilt? He put that aside and prepared to get back to work.
Fred didn't know why she had volunteered to talk with Andrew. In the three weeks that he had been working here, she didn't think that she had so much as exchanged words with him more than twice. What's more, based on what little she knew about him, there wasn't a great deal to suggest they had anything in common. Granted they were both somewhat geeky, but her kind of intelligence was a combination of physics and old languages, whereas his was more a mixture of science fiction along with a slight dose of magic. Apart from the fact that technically she was his boss, she didn't think she would have ever crossed paths with him.
The only reason that she could think of that she would want to speak with him was that she had sensed that he was a real outsider. It wasn't that the other people at Angel Slayer Inc. were all extroverts, but Andrew seemed to be really off on his own tangent. She could relate to that very well: the first three months after her return from Pylea she had separated herself from the efforts of the rest of Angel Investigations attempts to ease her back into the real world. She had spent most of that time writing incomprehensible equations on the walls of her room before she had finally been able to get out of the building. She didn't think Andrew was anywhere near that bad, but she didn't think that anybody (with the surprising exception of Faith, who talked to him every few days) had really had a conversation with him since he had settled into his new job. Maybe she had felt that they had needed to know that he was not alone and maybe she could talk some sense into him.
By now she had arrived at Andrew's office. She couldn't help but notice that the only identification that anyone was working here was a paper on which the words Andrew Grusynzki, Storyteller had been written in black marker. Everyone else in the building had their names and titles painted on the door of their offices. Granted none of them really used their offices that much, and you were more likely to find people together than alone in their offices, but the fact remained that they had their offices at least looked professional and here was the one person who really seemed to be using his office looked more like he had been put in the corner. Well, if nothing else, she could see to it that this was fixed.
She knocked. "Andrew?" No response. "Andrew, it's Fred." Realizing he might not be able to put a name with her face, she added: "The guy with the effeminate voice?"
There was another pause. Fred was about to knock again when the door opened. Andrew's face emerged
"Hi. Um, sorry I took so long. It's just well, it has been a while since I had any visitors." There was an awkward silence. "What can I... Is there something I can do for you?"
Now that he was here, Fred realized that she had no idea how to approach this. "Um, I was wondering... Well there's been a certain amount of...concern about..." She trailed off. "Could I come in?"
Andrew looked floored. At first, Fred wondered if, like Wesley and Gunn, he was going to be another one of those men who fawned over her. Then she remembered what little she knew about him and figured he was surprised that ANY girl would voluntarily want to talk with him.
"Sure, the place is a little messy but... Come in."
Fred entered the room not entirely sure what she was going to see. She had heard that Andrew had decided to tell the story of the last days of Sunnydale that he was going to write it instead of making a film. Apparently because of his actions at home, the Sunnydale contingency had been relieved-Willow said he was a bad narrator. Fred wasn't sure. It had taken an hour for that group to tell part of the story. Given the right material, it could be strung out for days.
She was not surprised to find that there were a lot of books in the room Some of them were Watchers diaries that Giles had kept in secret over the last few months. But there were others that she couldn't make a connection with. One of them was a history of the Boxer Rebellion. Another was a New York Times paper for the 1970's.And yet another was apparently written in Arabic- from what little she could read about some kind of purifying ritual.
And on the wall were several pieces of paper with writing on them. Some had crude drawings on them; but most featured names or phrases written in black Magic Marker and several scribbles in pen. One of the clearer ones was 'Spike c. 1880' (with 'William the Bloody 'scrawled under it). To the left of that was one marked 'Drusilla c.1860'. And to the left of that was one marked 'Angel/Angelus c. 1750'. Suddenly, Fred had an idea of what he was doing though she couldn't figure out what this had to do with the First.
"I know that it all seems kind of confusing-" Andrew began.
"Actually, I think I see what you're doing." Fred walked towards the wall. "You're tracing vampire lineage through their sires, kind of like how genealogists trace their families back. The dates are around when they were sired." She looked to the left of Angel. "Where's Darla?"
"I haven't gotten around to her. Most of the data about her is from the seventeenth century or earlier. A lot of those were destroyed."
"Well, this is also interesting." Fred looked at some of the highlighted sections under 'Angel'. She knew some of the story but much of it was new to her. "But I'm not sure what any of this has to do with the battle against the First."
"Oh right .Well, um, sit down-" he pulled up the one chair in the office. :"And I'll try to explain."
For a moment, she was reluctant to get involved with what might be a very long story. Then she figured that she had come this far and she owed Andrew that much. She sat down. "OK, but let's try not to take forever."
"All right. This was going to be simple- although how a project like this could be classified as simple is ludicrous- not that it would be undervaluing any of the work that we- or rather they..." Andrew was fumbling like someone who had neglected to do the studying for an oral report. "Maybe I'd better start again."
"It's all right." Fred tried to sound soothing. It seemed to work.
"I was going to tell in as much detail as possible the full story of the six months that Buffy, Spike, Willow and... Everyone else fought against the First. However, the problem came when I started to list what the First was and how it had become such a threat."
"Sounds reasonable." Fred said, realizing that that particular information had been omitted from the story Buffy and the others had told.
"I didn't have a problem describing WHAT the First was. I mean, it made its nature pretty clear to everybody. But what I could not understand was why after all the centuries and aeons spent being quiet, it had suddenly become 'real' and had determined to bring about the end of existence."
"Well, that doesn't sound that complicated. I mean, for all the smoke and mirrors, it just had your average kill-crush-destroy mentality towards the Planet." Fred had spent the past year dealing with villains who, for all their fancy trappings, had this basic mindset.
"Yes. But then I learned how this had come about. Apparently it happened when Willow and Xander had brought Buffy back from the dead the second time. Somehow that upset the balance between Good and Evil and gave the First its opening."
"Oh. Oh my." Suddenly Fred understood why Willow had not wanted to take full credit for bringing all the Slayers into existence. She had helped create the situation where this was needed." That's big, but I'm not sure I see the problem."
"Let's say that I were trying to tell the story of the battle in a linear, chronological way. Suppose I wrote: The First became a threat when Buffy was resurrected a second time. What is the obvious question that arises?" Andrew asked.
Fred thought a moment. "Why was Buffy resurrected the first time?" Andrew pointed at her.
"Got it. So then you have to explain the whole role of the Slayer. Not only that but you have to explain the role of her friends. And why she died the first time and it didn't take."
Fred thought this over. "Well, I'll admit that makes it a little tougher but can't you just do a few pages and then move on?"
"It's not that simple. There are a lot of stories connected with the Slayer and her friends. I only know a small fraction of what they went through and that would fill a novel in itself. Plus, a lot of the stories are interconnected and you need to know how to understand why."
"I'm still not sure that I follow." Andrew paused for a moment.
"OK, say that our situations were reversed. I wanted you to tell me about how Jasmine came into being."
Fred thought about this. "OK. Well, Jasmine was created when Cordelia got pregnant with Connor's son..."
"Stop. Why was Cordelia so critical to Jasmine's creation? Wasn't she one of the good guys?"
"Well...you see.... About a year ago she became part demon because the visions that she was having were killing her...Oh yeah, I can see where we might have some problems."
"Forget that part. Who was Connor?"
"Well, he was Angel's son who was born two years ago when Darla was...." Fred shook her head. "Yeah, this is gonna take a lot of explanation."
Andrew nodded. "And the story of Buffy and her friends, particularly Willow and Spike, is very intricate and requires explanations into who they were and who they eventually became. That above all is important. Spike was not the same vampire that he was five years ago. And it is important to explain why and what he did to make this happen."
"That is a problem." Fred said. She then went over to the piece of paper that had 'Spike' written on it. "Why have you put so much effort into finding out about Spike?"
"Well, we spent the better part of four months in the same house. I guess you could say we were both 'hostages'.
"And you became- friends?" Somehow this seemed unlikely.
Andrew shook his head. "God no. Guy would barely speak to me. Not that this was anything new; everyone in the house pretty much tried to forget that I existed. But in seeing him every day, I began wondering what had happened to him. I had known him pre-soul. Completely different from the vampire that I had known."
"I know what you're talking about. Angel and Angelus were completely different individuals." Fred shuddered, thinking of the cruel jibes that Angelus had made at the expense of them all.
"Yeah, I know. But according to the others, he began changing before he got his soul."
Fred was intrigued; none of the others had spoken much about Spike before the last few months. "Do you have any explanation as to why?"
"It has something to do with his relationship with Buffy, but nobody seems eager to talk much about it except Dawn. According to her, there was something compassionate about Spike even before he got his soul. She felt safe hanging out with him and he seemed to like her. And Buffy seemed very willing to entrust her to his safety on more than one occasion"
"Before he had his soul?" Andrew nodded. "And no one has an explanation as to how this was possible?"
Andrew paused. "I have a theory. It's more philosophical than scientific but..." he trailed off uncertainly
"Well, it wouldn't be the strangest thing that I've heard." Fred said curiously
"We think of the capacity to love as a human emotion. Something that is instilled in the hearts and souls of people. Well, when a person becomes a vampire, his heart is stopped and their soul is taken. They become cruel unfeeling monsters incapable of any kind of emotion at all." Andrew paused. "But what if those emotions are not gone but rather driven to a part of them that is so far down it has almost- but not completely-disappeared?"
"How would this be possible?" Fred asked.
Andrew shook his head. "I'm not sure. Vampires are capable of feeling love. Spike was in love with Drusilla for the better part of a century. Maybe it's only a shell of the real thing, but it's still there. What if that love Spike felt was somehow directed at Buffy? He felt this so deep he did something to get his soul back. What if it was that love more than anything else- that allowed him to become a Champion?"
For a moment, both of them were silent pondering this. Finally Fred broke the silence. "I don't know how true any of what you said is, but that was one of the most beautiful things I 've ever heard. "
"Thank you." said Andrew.
"You know everybody said you were death to talk with, but this is one of the most enjoyable conversations I've had in a while."
"Me too." Andrew looked at his watch. "It's a shame that we'll have to cut this short."
Fred was a little surprised. "You have a deadline or something?"
"No, I'm just going to stop for dinner and I'm sure that you have something far more important to do than to keep jabbering on with me."
Fred looked at her watch. He was right, but for some reason she didn't want to end this talk yet. And it wasn't only because she hadn't gotten around to the reason that she had come here to talk to him. "Where were you planning on eating?"
"Nowhere special, just the building cafeteria. Why?"
"Well, I haven't eaten yet." Actually she had eaten about two hours ago, but she was feeling a little peckish. "And I'd kind of like hear more about your story."
For a moment, she thought that Andrew wasn't going to respond. Then he swallowed and spoke: "You're sure I'm not keeping you from something important?"
"Hey, I'm in charge of my division. They can keep on working without me."
Andrew paused. "OK." The two of them walked down the hall. Fred told her self she was just have dinner with a colleague. There was nothing else involved in it Yet for some reason she felt more relaxed than she had in a while.