Disclaimer: First page! Keep reviewing please! This is my angsty/romantic peice, which is why is so much longer, because I'm a hopless romantic, so I gotta' do love stories.

The Worst Day Ever

Everyone currently in the apartment froze. Buffy leaned over and whispered something in the Immortals ear. He nodded solemnly, and left the building. Buffy walked into the apartment, and slammed the door closed.

"I thought you were finally dead," She hissed at Spike.

He mentally rolled his eyes, 'Here we go again.' "Buffy," He said calmly, "If I was the First, why would I be able to hold the phone?" He asked, looking at the phone he'd grabbed from Dawn.

"It's just a trick," Buffy said surely, "An illusion or something, Spike is dead," Her voice broke, "I watched him die, and it was you're fault!" She yelled. "I watched him turning into dust, as his stupid soul killed him!"

"Buffy love, it's me, really," He looked at her intently. She just glowered at him. "God, how can I prove it?" He asked more to himself than her.

Dawn then walked over, and pulled him into a hug. Spike looked down at her in surprise. "See," Dawn said to Buffy, "He's here, he's real, he's back," Then she looked in his eyes, "For good."

Spike smiled warmly at the teen, "Sure am Bit, see, Buffy, Dawn can touch me, I'm here."

Buffy stood there staring, her eyes wide and disbelieving. She slowly started walking over to him.

Dawn pulled back, seeing her sisters eyes, she grabbed Andrew's arm, "Hey, ow!" He protested, "Come on you wuss," Dawn rolled her eyes. Pulling him away from the couple in the middle of the room, to the back of the apartment.

Buffy had made her way over to Spike now, and stared straight into his eyes. Her gaze was making him uncomfortable, so he lowered his eyes to the floor for the second time that evening. "No," Buffy said quickly, almost sharply.

Spike looked up hurriedly, hoping he hadn't made her mad already.

She saw the worry in his eyes, and reassured him, "No, it's just that...I need to see your face, your eyes, to make sure you're really here." This made him focus on the floor once more. She took his chin in her hand and lifted his eyes to meet hers. "Just look at me," She said hoarsely. He looked straight into her eyes, and settled his gaze there.

She raised a shaky hand, and ran it over his face; she traced his features, features that had been time, and time again memorized by her hand. She felt comfort in this familiar face, and then she knew it really was him. Silent tears began streaming from her eyes. "My God," She whispered, "You're really back." Suddenly, her body had no strength left, her legs buckled, she fell into his arms, and cried.

Spike held her tight, and felt his own tears running down his face.

"I saw you die," She cried, "Your soul burned your body away. You just glowed with this light," She choked, "Then you caught fire, and you, you just died. I watched it, I had to watch you die, I had to watch you die." She kept repeating.

"Hush now love," Spike said in a soothing voice, "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

She snuggled into his chest and cried her heart out, he was her safety net, he always had been, she'd felt so lost without him. She needed to hold him, to feel him, just to make sure. So she did. Her hands roamed over his chest and stomach, she ran her fingers through his hair, and messed it up to her liking.

Spike, however, was getting very uncomfortable. In more ways than one. He wasn't used to tender affection like this, with anyone, especially Buffy. Just being around her was bringing his old self out to surface, not his old mass murderer self mind you, but the self that was afraid of what he might do, afraid to be around this woman, afraid he wasn't good enough. She always brought out his soft side. All women did, Fred, Dawn, even Faith could make him look like a teddy bear.

As her hands moved to lower regions, his worries surfaced, and he snatched her hands away. She stepped back some, looking a little hurt.

He hadn't really meant to do that, but his feelings had been running on over drive since the phone call, and now, being here with her, it was just too much for him. He looked down at the ground 'Why do I keep looking here?' He thought.

"Sorry," He mumbled, almost inaudibly, but loud enough that Buffy heard it.

She stepped forward again, "For what?" She whispered.

"Don't know," He said in the same quiet, unsure voice.

She reached out to touch him, but he stepped back, and held his hands forward,

"I just, just don't...I...Can't," He said 'Make a bit more sense there Spike,' is what he thought.

"What?" Buffy asked, "Oh! Is it the soul? I thought you said it was permanent, and stuff, you know, pleasure included."

His eyes almost popped out of his head, "No! No, no, no," He laughed nervously, "I can do that, I can do that all night," He said making helpless gestures with his hands. "It's just that, I don't know," He sighed.

Buffy turned very serious then, "Do you not love me anymore?"

"No!" Spike shouted, "No, don't you ever think that! I love you with everything I have, demon and man," He told her, but he quietly added "Even though that's not enough," He thought he was quiet enough, but Buffy's slayer ears picked it up.

She grabbed the lapels of his jacket, and yanked him forward, "You don't get to think that," She hissed dangerously, "You never get to think you're not good enough for me, ever, got that?" Spike nodded weakly, "Good," She said, letting him go.

Spike looked at her for a moment, appearing deep in thought, she held his gaze, waiting for him to speak. 'Don't ask her, don't ask her, don't ask her,' he was thinking. "Do you really love me?" He suddenly blurted out, then smacked himself in the head, 'Shit! Why the hell do you never listen?'

But it was Buffy's turn to look at the floor. Truth was, she did love him, with all she had, but she had, problems with love, not giving it, just saying it. It was easier to say when he was about to die, because she thought then he might come with them, but now, with no life threatening situation on the horizon, she wasn't sure if she could say it. It was one of the things she wished she could do as well as Spike, find love, say it, and mean it. She could never understand why she couldn't say it...Probably because something bad always happened when she did.

She'd been silent for a long time, long enough that Spike knew the answer. Buffy saw the hurt look in Spike's eyes, she needed to tell him, 'Come on Buff, just three little words, it's not that hard,' Well she said three little words, but not the ones intended. "Sorry, I can't" She said.

Spike closed his eyes, and set his jaw, then he opened his eyes again, "You can't," He said, "Well, typical for everyone innit. You can't say it, I never get to hear it. But you know what fine! If you can only ever say you love me when I'm about to die, then we have some serious issues." He started moving towards the door, "Goodbye Buffy, have a good life with the Immortal, tell Bit I'll miss her, and I'll send her a post card from L-" His rant was cut off by Buffy's kiss, she pulled back quickly,

"I love you, you jackass!" She said, then pulled him into another deep kiss.

(A.N. Two more chapters to come! Woot!)