Hey everyone! I took a short break from Behind Her Back because I've been
buried by school. Don't worry, I'll update soon! For now, here is a short, little
story.

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

Conner McDermott stood in front of the House of Java. A rare smile
crossed his face. He hadn't been in there since the summer after he
graduated from high school. That July he had left with Tia and Andy on
a road trip to Seattle, and when he had returned to El Carro, he hadn't
wasted any time in leaving for Boston. He had been home for the
occasional holiday, but mostly he tried to put this town behind him.
After he had graduated from Belmont he had tried to break into the
music scene. After two years of playing guitar solos in a run down bar
he had given up and come home. Now he was a professor of music at
Sweet Valley University teaching guitar classes and technique.
Conner blew out a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding in. He
glanced at his watch. 8:30. He still had half and hour before he had to
go pick up his date. The thought made Conner slightly ill. It was
Valentine's Day and Conner was never one for holidays. Especially
pointless holidays that celebrated love and commitment. But the
second that Alicia Lewis had flashed her baby blues at him he was
already picturing their first date. The psychology professor was
definitely a looker, Conner thought smiling. He wasn't in the market,
however, for a long term commitment. That's why he regretted making
a date for the most romantic night of the year.
Conner shrugged and pulled open the double doors to the café.
Might as well he thought, for old times sake. Conner stepped into
the café where he'd had so many memories of his adolescence.
Saturday morning breakfast with Tia, Andy, and Angel. Playing on the
small stage with his friends cheering. Singing 'Stone Heart' to Elizabeth…
Conner cursed under his breath. He hadn't thought about Elizabeth in
years. They had broken up so long ago, and he had had several girlfriends
since then. There had been Alanna and so many one night dates that he
couldn't even remember half of them. But Conner admitted to himself
that there had been none quite like Elizabeth Wakefield.
He glanced around the deserted café. Obviously it wasn't high on
people's list for a romantic Valentine's date. There was a lonely old man
in the corner reading a newspaper. Conner's eyes widened. They had
redone the place since he had last been here. Six years ago it had been
a casual, modern looking place decorated in green and silver tones. Now
the place had a homey feel to it, everything was wooden and the walls were
painted a pale yellow. There were also plants and bright lights everywhere.
It looked like someplace where his mother would hang out. They had also
placed a counter along the front where the register was, like in the old
diners. There was a girl seated at the end of the counter, hunched over
her coffee. Conner walked up to the register where there was a sullen
teen who must have picked the shortest straw that night. She was
cracking her gum loudly and staring off into space. Conner glanced
around her, half expecting Jeremy Aames or Jessica Wakefield to
burst out from the back. Conner smiled at the girl and ordered a decaf
latte. No use to be jittery when he picked up Alicia. As the girl was
slowly preparing his drink like she had all the time in the world,
Conner glanced over to the girl. Her face was covered by her shoulder
length blond hair. She was wearing a short burgundy dress with spaghetti
straps. She looked really sexy to be sitting all by herself. The girl
suddenly raised her head and Conner lost his breath when he saw
who it was. The girl was none other than Elizabeth Wakefield.

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Conner quickly handed the girl some money and grabbed his coffee.
Instinct told him to gulp down the coffee and leave without a second
glance. But Elizabeth looked so sad…and Conner hated to admit it, he
still felt attracted to her. No matter how many times in the past he told
himself that they were wrong for each other, he still felt this desire to be
with her that he had never felt with one before or since. He walked over
to where she was sitting and grabbed the chair, turned it around and
straddled it, it was his patented way of sitting in a bar chair.
Elizabeth turned her head to face him and said "I thought you weren't
ever going to show!" she exclaimed. The she looked at who was
sitting next to her and went pale. Conner smirked at her expression,
one of surprise…and desire. Elizabeth still felt it too.
"Oh my gosh…Conner? Conner McDermott? Is it really you?"
"In the flesh," he said casually.
"Wow, it's been forever, what are you doing here? Last I heard you
were still in Boston."
"I left about a year ago," he said shrugging. "You keep tabs on me?"
he said raising his eyebrows.
Elizabeth blushed violently. "No, I still keep in touch with Megan. She's
like the only one, though. I've kind of lost track of everybody."
"Yeah, me too. I've never been one for keeping in touch. I talked to
Tia a couple of months ago, though. She and Angel got back together
when she came back from the Peace Corps. They got married and last
I heard she has two little Desmond's."
"Good for them," Elizabeth said quietly. She looked down.
"So what have you been up to?" he asked.
"I'm a writer. I write a weekly column and miscellaneous articles for
The Sweet Valley News. I write my column under a pen name, it's
called Little Voice, Loud Thoughts.
"No way!" Conner exclaimed, smiling. "You're Cathy Linton?"
Elizabeth gave him a shy smile. "Yeah, Wuthering Heights is one of
my favorite books, so I just took the name of the main character."
"I knew the reference, but I had no idea it was you! I love your column,
I actually have a few clipped out and on my bulletin board in my office."
"Really?" Elizabeth said smiling. Conner smiled back at her. She was
still as beautiful as she had been so many years ago, maybe even more
so. Her eyes were bluer than they had been before, and she had gained
a little weight that made her look more curvy and womanly while still being
slim. Conner liked it. he was a bit surprised at how little had changed.
They had been able to talk to each other like they had just seen each
other yesterday.
"So, what are you doing here looking so hot on Valentine's Day? I would
have expected you to have a hot date."
Elizabeth looked away and Conner regretted asking her the question.
She was silent for a moment and then she turned to him. "Actually, I
had a date. Some guy I met at the library. But I guess it was all just a
joke to him because we were supposed to meet here at 7:30 . When
you first sat down I thought you were him. But I guess he's not
showing because I've been sitting here for an hour."

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

"Wow," Conner said. He couldn't believe that anyone would stand
Elizabeth up. He awkwardly placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry.
But if he stood you up, then he's a jerk."
Elizabeth gave a short laugh. "Thanks, I think."
Conner removed his hand. "I've missed you, Liz."
Elizabeth gave a small, unsure smile. "I've missed you too Conner.
Even though towards the end things weren't great with us, I mean we
were never really friends…"
"I thought we were," Conner said protesting. "You were the only girl
besides Tia that I ever really opened up to. Maybe things didn't work
out between us, but I never stopped caring about you." Conner shut up.
He had said way too much. Elizabeth might think that this was some
kind of reunion and that they would get back together. Which they
couldn't, and Conner needed to keep telling himself that. It would be
so easy just to lose himself in her again.
Elizabeth cleared her throat and changed the subject. "So we've
talked about my lame choice in men, but what about you? Why are
you all alone?"
Conner put on his indifferent face hoping Elizabeth wouldn't see
through him, because she usually did. "Um, you know I've never been
one for holidays. If I asked a girl out tonight she might think that I was
serious or something," Conner gagged.
Elizabeth giggled. "You haven't changed much," then she paused.
"But in many ways you have."
Conner glanced at his watch. He had to be at Alicia's house in three
minutes, and she lived ten minutes from here. He glanced at Elizabeth's
expectant and somewhat hesitant face, and then he pictured Alicia's
confident and knowing gaze. He sighed. "Elizabeth, can you excuse
me for just a second. I need to, uh, use the bathroom."

I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

Conner walked back to Elizabeth. Alicia had not taken the news well.
Conner reminded himself to avoid the 3rd floor psychology department.
He would have to start taking the stairs. The second he saw Elizabeth
though, all thoughts of Alicia had vanished. The radio was playing a
romantic classical piece whose name escaped Conner. It was
one of Schubert's.
"Hey, I'm back," he said whispering in her ear.
Elizabeth whirled around, startled. "You scared me, I thought you'd
bolted."
"No, I'm here," he assured her. "I'm not going anywhere."
She smiled at him and Conner couldn't help but mirror it. He glanced
around the now empty café. The old man had left and the teen must
have disappeared into the back. He and Elizabeth were alone. He felt a
warm, tight sensation in his belly. "Do you want to dance?" he had
asked it so quietly that he wasn't even sure that Elizabeth had heard him.
But she stood up and stood there awkwardly next to him on the
makeshift dance floor by the stage. Conner placed his hands around her
slim waist and pulled her to him. He could hear her sharp intake of breath.
She placed her hands on his shoulders and slowly wrapped them around
his neck. Goosebumps popped up all over his body as her warm hands
touched the sensitive place at the back of his neck. They melted into
each other as if nothing had changed. He glanced down at Elizabeth. Her
eyes were closed in contentment. Her dress was made of a soft velvet
that was cool to his touch. He was surprised at how well they still fit together.
After a while Elizabeth rested her head against his chest.
"It's weird," she said breathlessly.
"What's weird?" he answered softly. Everything about tonight had been
weird, but oddly comforting.
"Remember at my birthday party I told you how sad it was that we would
never dance again, but you told me that our future had lots of dances in it."
Conner smiled at the memory, who would have thought that the
ramblings of a naïve teenager would come true, and that he wouldn't be
scared by it. Elizabeth looked up at him, expecting a reply. Conner smiled
and leaned down ever so softly and placed his lips to hers.

And when we meet
As I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on

He pulled back breathlessly. Elizabeth was breathing heavily. They
stood there looking at each other, neither of them moving. Elizabeth
placed her hand on his cheek. "Oh, Conner."
She didn't finish her sentence. She didn't have to, Conner knew what
she was thinking. It was just what he was thinking. Conner leaned down
and pressed his forehead to hers. Then he looked deep into her eyes,
into her soul. He needed to say something, anything that would stop the
dull ache in his stomach. He realized that he still cared about Elizabeth.
They were both different people than they had been in high school.
Maybe they hadn't been right for each other then, but maybe they were
now. He wanted to be part of her life again. He wanted to know her again,
but he had no idea what to tell her without coming off like a love sick kid.
He didn't have to say anything. Elizabeth tilted her head ever so slightly
and licked her lips. "I had expected that tonight would turn out a little
differently," she said running a finger down his chest, it stopped at the
waist of his pants, then started back up. Conner closed his eyes. "I have
a bottle of wine back at my place," she hesitated very so lightly.
"I'm yours," he said taking her hand in is. Elizabeth smiled. She
turned away and pulled him to the counter. She picked up her purse and
gave him a knee weakening smile.
"Lead the way," he said giving her a quick kiss.
And she did.

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

FYI: The song is called "White Flag" by Dido.