She was seemingly unaware of Zubin's disapproving look as she sat down next to Ric and rested her head against his chest, wanting him to hold her and let her lose herself in him. And he was more than happy to provide her with that opportunity. His arm held her securely close to him, and she smiled up at him slightly. He smiled back at her; his eyes were telling her that he would be there forever, and her eyes thanked him.
Zubin, uncomfortable with the scene that he could see unfolding in front of him, stood up hurriedly. "I'd better get going, you two."
They both nodded, neither able to get up. Diane knew that it would have been polite to get up, but she was so tired, and so comfortable in Ric's arms. And he would not have moved her for the world. He simply nodded. "G'night Zube."
Zubin smiled at the two of them, managing to suppress his disapproval. "I'll see you tomorrow… well, maybe not you, Diane."
She shook her head without speaking, unsure of what to say. "'Night Zube," she said quietly.
He smiled at them again in farewell, before leaving the room, closing the door firmly behind him. He let himself out into the cold night air, still shocked about Diane, about how Ric had felt, about the way they looked at one another… about the two of them. He knew he might have been hasty, rude even, in his replies, but he hadn't been able to hide his feelings. He hadn't been able to hide the fact that he was astounded that Ric was even thinking about making a move on Diane. She was so young, she was so vulnerable… Zubin loved both Ric and Diane, Ric was like a brother to him, but Diane, she was like a niece: he'd always thought of Diane in much the same way as he did Jess.
He shook his head and opened his car door. Don't worry about it, he told himself. They can take care of themselves.
Diane's eyes had closed, and she was smiling slightly as Ric stroked her hair back from her face. She opened her eyes slowly to find him staring at her. "Hey…"
"Do you want me to go so you can sleep?" he asked her, hoping that she wouldn't say yes, that she would let him stay a bit longer, stay with her, with her in his arms. Because it felt magical to him, it was wonderful: she was wonderful.
She shook her head, sitting up slightly and resting her head on his shoulder. "No, no, don't go… please," she added, more quietly. She didn't want to have to beg him. She didn't want to have to plead with him to stay with her, to save her, but she knew that if he went, part of her would go with him. She needed him to be there, to make her stronger. And right now, she needed to be stronger.
He nodded, stroking her hair back from her face again. "Okay, I won't." I'd never do anything you didn't want me to, he added mentally. I'd never hurt you, never.
She smiled up at him. Before her mind was allowed to know what she was saying, she spoke. "I'm scared, Ric." She heard the words in horror; she tried never to let herself to open up, because telling people about your feelings… that was when you got hurt, when you opened yourself up to humiliation.
"It's okay to be scared," he told her quietly.
"I'm terrified. I've never been more scared in all my life," she whispered. Her hand flew to her mouth and she clamped her fingers over her lips, trying to suppress the feelings that were tumbling out.
His hand gently clasped over her own and moved it away tenderly. "You need to talk about this, Diane… you can't bottle it all up."
"I'm not bottling anything up," she denied, feeling herself move away from him slightly.
"Diane…" he prompted her, one look being enough to make her cave. She moved closer to him again, and, taking strength from the strong arm around her, looked up at him.
"I'm scared, Ric…" she repeated. "I'm petrified of something happening, something going wrong. I'm scared of not being in control anymore. I'm afraid of dying, Ric. I don't want to die… not yet."
He tightened his grip around her, terrified of losing the young woman in his arms, terrified of her slipping away without saying goodbye, before he had said goodbye to her, before he had touched her, kissed her, told her he loved her, once more. "You're not going to die, Diane. I'm not going to let go of you that easy, darling."
She smiled in spite of herself. "Darling?" she repeated, eyebrow raised. "Since when did you call me that?"
He laughed slightly. "I don't know, it just seemed like the right word…" He smiled at her. "I'm sorry if you don't like it."
"No… no… I don't mind." She smiled up at him, her whole expression clearing for just a moment. And he had made that happen; he had reassured her, helped her to forget, for just one moment. A few precious seconds.
He kissed her forehead, stroking her hair as he did so, wanting so badly to make it all better for her.
She bit her lip and took a deep breath before speaking again. "Ric…" she began, quietly. "Ric, I need to ask you something." She felt sick to her stomach at the mere thought of voicing these words, at the mere thought of needing to ask him this, but she had to do it.
"Anything," he replied easily, moving a hand down to her back and holding her, cradling her like a child, a little girl who needed protecting from the harsh world. But looking into her face, he'd never seen her looking less like a child. Her face was serious, all the vulnerability hidden by a mask of determination, the determination to ask this question and get the right answer, knowing that it might prove her fate.
She sat up slightly, wanting him to realise that this was important. "Ric, this is… this is serious." She waited for him to nod, to give a sign that he understood how much it meant to her, and continued. "Whatever… whatever happens, with this…" She couldn't quite bring herself to say the word, and bit her lip for a second before continuing. "I'm going to need surgery. I know that."
His hand trembled slightly as he stroked her hair, nodding. "Yes," he replied quietly. "I'm afraid you are…"
"Ric, I know this is hard, if you want to get out now then I don't mind…" Her voice was steady, but she looked away from him, not wanting him to see the tears forming in her eyes.
"Diane, what sort of a friend would I be if I deserted you now? I don't want to 'get out', I want to help you through this," he told her, turning her head gently so that she could see the truth in his steady gaze.
She nodded. "I want you to help me…" she began, haltingly.
"What do you mean?" He felt a block of ice settle in the pit of his stomach, afraid of what she was going to ask, afraid it might be too much for him to handle.
"I mean… if…" She shook her head. "When, when I need surgery… I want you to do it." She looked down, not meeting his eyes, but continuing with what she was saying; knowing that if she didn't give her reasons, he would never agree. He had to know, had to understand, her reasoning. "Ric, please… I know it's a lot to ask, I know it's unfair on you, but I trust you. I trust you completely, and I know that you'd do the best you could, and…"
"Diane…" he interrupted, his voice quiet, still shocked. "Diane… you can't… you can't ask me to do that." He leant back slightly, staring at her, just watching her, taking in every detail, and thinking how beautiful she was. Thinking how innocent she looked, how perfect. How he couldn't take a knife anywhere near her.
She nodded. "I know, I know I'm being selfish… I just, I wouldn't feel safe with anyone else… because, Ric, you're the best surgeon I've ever known, I don't want…" She sighed. "I don't want to force you into this. I shouldn't have said anything."
A deep breath was all it took for him to change his mind. He didn't want her to be unhappy, he needed her happiness more than he needed his own comfort. He needed her to be safe, because with her safety came his safety. "Okay. I'll think about it, Diane…" He held her closely to him again, needing to feel her warmth, needing to know that he hadn't lost her yet.