Disclaimer: Crimson Solitaire does not own Harry Potter or his friends, and does not intend to make any money from this work of fiction.

Life River

By Crimson Solitaire

Chapter Three

Lily Evans caught my arm as we were heading up the gigantic marble staircase. She smiled, and I noticed her auburn hair was in a long plait down her back. "Congratulations."

"Huh?"

"On getting in Gryffindor," she said. "I'm glad that we're in the same House at least. You're the only person I recognize here. And there's only one other girl that got into Gryffindor." She lowered her voice. "And I don't think she's seems very friendly." She pointed to a raven-haired girl walking next to us, but a few feet in distance. The girl had her arms folded and was scowling.

I turned back to Lily and raised my eyebrows. "I think I saw her coming out of the loo on the train. Her eyes were all puffy. She probably misses her mum and dad."

"Oh. Well, I miss my mum and dad, but I'm not crying about it like a baby." She shrugged. "I guess some people can't handle it as well, though." She eyes me. "You haven't been crying for your parents, have you?"

I shook my head no. This Lily Evans was getting deep into my personal life. I wondered what business she had asking me personal questions like that. I figured she just had a fiery personality.

James and Peter were walking in front of me, and Sirius was walking next to the same pretty blonde girl. I wondered how he knew her. She looked to have been a third or fourth year.

Sirius and the girl stopped to let James, Peter, and me catch up. James and Peter eyed Lily, then eyed me. At that age, boy-girl interaction was unheard of, and the fact that I was walking next to a girl my age was taboo. I introduced her to my new friends, and then the blonde girl, who said her name was Ann, walked ahead with Lily.

"That's my cousin," Sirius said. "Andromeda. She's a third year. We get along best out of all our family."

So that's how he knew her.

"I know what you mean," Peter said. "My grandma and I get along best."

"I have an uncle like that," James said.

I worked hard not to let the corners of my mouth turn down. I didn't know any of my family. No cousins, aunts, uncles. No grandparents. Mum never spoke of them. Truth be told, I was never even curious about them. It was just me and my mother, and that was the way I liked it.

When we reached the eighth floor, we were led through a moving portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress. The password was "thornberry". My heart thumped as I stepped through the hole behind the portrait.

It was dark in the large room, but despite the darkness, there was a very home-like feel to it. There was a cheery fire burning in the grate, a dozen squashy armchairs and sofas, and a large red and gold rug covering the stone floor. Awed is the only word that I could use to describe how I felt. How we all felt.

The boy Prefect led the boys up one staircase, while the girl Prefect led the girls up another on the opposite side of the room. There were doors on each landing of the staircase, and a sign that proclaimed the year of the students that stayed in that room. At the top of the staircase, the sign on the door proclaimed "First Years." The Prefect opened the door, and led us inside.

There were four large beds inside, each with crimson velvet hangings. A trunk was laid out at the foot of each bed, and I spotted my particular trunk by the bed next to the window. At first the thought thrilled me, but then I saw a silver sliver of the waning moon just under the arch of the glass. My stomach wrenched, nearly making me want to vomit at the thought that struck me next: there were only ten days left until the next full moon.

Perhaps this part of the story feels like the longest. In a way, telling it does take longer because I can find the words to describe these things. I can't, however, put into words the more horrifying parts of my life. Maybe it's because there are hundreds of words to describe happiness, but only a handful for suffering.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't miserable. Truth be told, I wouldn't exchange what I had for the world. Even with everything I found hellish, I wouldn't have found the treasures. My mother always did say that it took rubbish to notice rubies.

And rubies I had found myself. Lots of them.

Classes were going well, and even the transformations weren't as brutal because I was more occupied with friends and Quidditch and classes.

James, Sirius, and Peter became my constant companions. We went everywhere together, and they were very sympathetic when I told them that my mother was sick. I felt bad lying to them, but I was terrified to find out what would happen if I told them what I was. I had once heard a boy telling another boy that there were werewolves in the Forbidden Forest. "They're big and hairy, with snarling, yellow fangs and they live off human blood," he told the trembling boy. "They rip out your throat and lap out your insides." I went up to my room and cried.

Come second year, it was getting harder and harder to hide what I was. I had used the excuse of my mother being sick too many times. Me being sick worked, because I often looked peaky around that time. But James, Sirius, and Peter were getting suspicious that I got sick so often. I would make up different illnesses - allergic reactions, colds, flus, I even once told them that I was hexed from behind and that was why I was in the hospital wing. But all those excuses never satisfied them.

"Remus," James said one afternoon, "are you coming down with something? Again?"

"My stomach isn't agreeing with me, mates," I lied.

"Hrm," Sirius said. "Sorry mate." He gazed to the window and looked at the moon -- full and bright enough to be seen durign the daylight hours. He scratched his head. "You know what I noticed?"

"What's that?" I asked.

"That last time you were sick, it was during the full moon," he said.

My stomach dropped. I wanted to be ill. I wanted to scream. I wanted to die. They couldn't possibly have figured it out, could they?

"Yeah," James said. "And the time before that."

"In fact," Peter said, "We've never been to Astronomy class with you when there was a full moon."

The three were looking at me, their faces serious. They then looked at one another, as if deciding who would say what needed to be said next. It was James who spoke up.

"Remus," he said. He took a deep breath. "Are you a werewolf?"

My legs could no longer hold me. They folded beneath me and I sank to the ground. I stared at my hands in my lap, the tears welling in my eyes. This was it, I knew. This was the part where they learned the truth, where they took the truth and spread it like wildfire. This was the part where I would be kicked out of school, never to return.

I stared at my blurring hands. I couldn't move in order to do anything to accept or deny the accusation. I'm sure my guilt was visible enough. It felt like I sat there for a long time, just staring at my hands, trying not to let the tears fall. Everything was ruined. What I had worked so hard to keep secret was revealed, and I would be punished for something I couldn't control.

What I was most afraid of, though, wasn't that I'd be kicked out of school, or that I'd be featured in news topics around the wizarding world. I was most afraid of losing my friends -- my Life River. I'd have let down my mum and Headmaster Dumbledore, my hero. I'd have nothing left to live for.

And then Peter spoke up in a timid voice, barely above a whisper:

"It's okay, you know, if you are."

A/N: Thank you to everyone for all the comments. I really appreciate them. And thanks for being patient. I've had the worst case of writer's block. No joke. There's nothing in my brain right now -- do you ever feel that way? Like your head is just empty when it comes to writing?

Oh well, what can you do? So, because of that, I'm sorry if this chapter isn't quite up to par. And I know it's rather short. Hopefully we don't have to wait too long until the next installment. I'm just as eager as you are!

Thanks again! Crimson Solitaire