(I can't imagine why you've read this far, but thanks. Here's the chapter.
Oh yeah, this story's funny, so LAUGH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
Chapter Five: Why You Shouldn't Shop at Malls
"Tidus, I seriously think you should stop drinking all those freezies," Seymour said as he stared at Tidus. "Oh come on Seymour, what's the harm in drinking thirty freezies?"
Seymour sipped his own freezie. "Well, aside from brain freezes and having an extreme urge to go to the bathroom, nothing."
Tidus sipped the last of his freezie and laid back on his chair.
"You know Seymour, it was a good idea to come to the mall this fine Saturday afternoon," Tidus said moving out of the chair. Suddenly, he winced.
"Tidus, you okay?" Seymour asked urgently. Tidus nodded in pain. "My brain just feels like an ice-cube and I have an extreme urge to go to the bathroom. Well, gotta go!"
Tidus sprang from his chair and darted towards the bathroom. Tidus crashed through one of the doors before stopping.
"Wait, there's something wrong about this bathroom," he mumbled. He looked around. First of all, the walls had a slight hint of pink. Second, the bathroom was clean. Finally, worst of all, there were no urinals!
Tidus started to back up. "Oh no. No, no, no... This is wrong!" he said aloud. Suddenly, the ten stalls opened up at the same time. Tidus recognized two of the girls. They were Yuna and Rikku. There was one with silver hair too.
All ten girls looked up to see Tidus standing in front of them. "Boy!" they all shouted out. Suddenly, the girl at the first stall pressed a few buttons. A hole opened up beneath Tidus. "What the" was all he managed to get out before he fell.
A hole opened up in the ceiling of the mall and Tidus fell through it landing on his head. "Well, that was rude," he commented. Suddenly, the hole opened up again and Yuna, Rikku, and Paine fell through it. Tidus squirmed out of the way before they landed on him, and that would probably break his spine.
The three girls got up slowly, but once they did, Rikku grew so red, you could say she was transforming into a shiny red apple, just, without the stem and the leaf thingy.
"Betrayers!" she yelled out angrily. Rikku then spurted out, "I'm so angry, I could kill fifty people!" She turned to Tidus. "The first one's right in front of me!" she yelled.
Rikku jumped on Tidus and started strangling him, while Yuna and Paine just watched.
"Rikku... Get off! You're seriously killing me! Seymour! Seymour?" Tidus yelled, but there was nobody in the chair that Seymour was sitting in.
Suddenly, the intercom sounded. "Ahem. Hello all you pathetic mortals."
Tidus pushed Rikku off and stood up. "That voice sounds vaguely familiar, but where have I heard it?"
Meanwhile in the announcer room, "Get out of here! How dare you come in here and call us pathetic mortals!" Sephiroth (using Seymour's body) pushed the announcer dude off.
"Muwahahahaha! You don't understand. I am the dark god of oblivion, SEPHIROTH!"
The intercom was still on so, Tidus got his question answered.
Rikku got up and started hopping around. "Oh, can we call you Sephy! It's an easier name! I can't pronounce your name, so change it!" Rikku cried out.
Sephiroth got back to the intercom. "How about, I stick with it and I make you shut up? Oh, what is your favorite animal?"
Rikku started smiling. "I like monkeys of course!"
Sephiroth let out an evil laugh. "Okay then." He snapped Seymour's fingers and in a flashy display of lights, which were provided by the nearest technology store with lights in it, Rikku was turned into a monkey! (Yay!)
Paine smirked, "Good move. I like her better this way."
Rikku let out about twenty sentences of extreme cussing at Paine. Unfortunately, since Rikku was a monkey, nobody could understand what she was saying.
Sephiroth grabbed Seymour's head. "Just shut up!" Sephiroth snapped Seymour's fingers, again, and Rikku was swallowed up by a dark vortex.
"Where did you send her?!" Yuna yelled out urgently. "To a place where her stupidity can be useful, I hope," Paine commented.
Sephiroth let out an evil laugh, again, and answered Yuna's question. "I've sent her to an infinite plane of complete and total darkness!"
Tidus thought for a moment. "Wait, why haven't you sent me to an infinite plane of complete and total darkness?"
Sephiroth stroked Seymour's chin. "Thanks for reminding me." Sephiroth snapped Seymour's fingers, yet again Tidus was swallowed by a dark vortex that leads to an infinite plane of complete and total darkness.
Sephiroth was about to continue when Paine got behind him and smashed him in the head. Yuna walked into the room. Paine took out her pocketknife. "Do I kill him physically, or do I slit his throat?" Paine asked Yuna. "Don't kill him at all. Seymour's just used as a host. It's really not his fault," Yuna said. "Fine."
(Don't worry about Rikku and Tidus, they'll come back. Next chapter, Seymour will ask Yuna to go on a date with him! And Wakka will try to impress Lulu. Tidus and Rikku just watch in amusement. Well, later!)
Chapter Five: Why You Shouldn't Shop at Malls
"Tidus, I seriously think you should stop drinking all those freezies," Seymour said as he stared at Tidus. "Oh come on Seymour, what's the harm in drinking thirty freezies?"
Seymour sipped his own freezie. "Well, aside from brain freezes and having an extreme urge to go to the bathroom, nothing."
Tidus sipped the last of his freezie and laid back on his chair.
"You know Seymour, it was a good idea to come to the mall this fine Saturday afternoon," Tidus said moving out of the chair. Suddenly, he winced.
"Tidus, you okay?" Seymour asked urgently. Tidus nodded in pain. "My brain just feels like an ice-cube and I have an extreme urge to go to the bathroom. Well, gotta go!"
Tidus sprang from his chair and darted towards the bathroom. Tidus crashed through one of the doors before stopping.
"Wait, there's something wrong about this bathroom," he mumbled. He looked around. First of all, the walls had a slight hint of pink. Second, the bathroom was clean. Finally, worst of all, there were no urinals!
Tidus started to back up. "Oh no. No, no, no... This is wrong!" he said aloud. Suddenly, the ten stalls opened up at the same time. Tidus recognized two of the girls. They were Yuna and Rikku. There was one with silver hair too.
All ten girls looked up to see Tidus standing in front of them. "Boy!" they all shouted out. Suddenly, the girl at the first stall pressed a few buttons. A hole opened up beneath Tidus. "What the" was all he managed to get out before he fell.
A hole opened up in the ceiling of the mall and Tidus fell through it landing on his head. "Well, that was rude," he commented. Suddenly, the hole opened up again and Yuna, Rikku, and Paine fell through it. Tidus squirmed out of the way before they landed on him, and that would probably break his spine.
The three girls got up slowly, but once they did, Rikku grew so red, you could say she was transforming into a shiny red apple, just, without the stem and the leaf thingy.
"Betrayers!" she yelled out angrily. Rikku then spurted out, "I'm so angry, I could kill fifty people!" She turned to Tidus. "The first one's right in front of me!" she yelled.
Rikku jumped on Tidus and started strangling him, while Yuna and Paine just watched.
"Rikku... Get off! You're seriously killing me! Seymour! Seymour?" Tidus yelled, but there was nobody in the chair that Seymour was sitting in.
Suddenly, the intercom sounded. "Ahem. Hello all you pathetic mortals."
Tidus pushed Rikku off and stood up. "That voice sounds vaguely familiar, but where have I heard it?"
Meanwhile in the announcer room, "Get out of here! How dare you come in here and call us pathetic mortals!" Sephiroth (using Seymour's body) pushed the announcer dude off.
"Muwahahahaha! You don't understand. I am the dark god of oblivion, SEPHIROTH!"
The intercom was still on so, Tidus got his question answered.
Rikku got up and started hopping around. "Oh, can we call you Sephy! It's an easier name! I can't pronounce your name, so change it!" Rikku cried out.
Sephiroth got back to the intercom. "How about, I stick with it and I make you shut up? Oh, what is your favorite animal?"
Rikku started smiling. "I like monkeys of course!"
Sephiroth let out an evil laugh. "Okay then." He snapped Seymour's fingers and in a flashy display of lights, which were provided by the nearest technology store with lights in it, Rikku was turned into a monkey! (Yay!)
Paine smirked, "Good move. I like her better this way."
Rikku let out about twenty sentences of extreme cussing at Paine. Unfortunately, since Rikku was a monkey, nobody could understand what she was saying.
Sephiroth grabbed Seymour's head. "Just shut up!" Sephiroth snapped Seymour's fingers, again, and Rikku was swallowed up by a dark vortex.
"Where did you send her?!" Yuna yelled out urgently. "To a place where her stupidity can be useful, I hope," Paine commented.
Sephiroth let out an evil laugh, again, and answered Yuna's question. "I've sent her to an infinite plane of complete and total darkness!"
Tidus thought for a moment. "Wait, why haven't you sent me to an infinite plane of complete and total darkness?"
Sephiroth stroked Seymour's chin. "Thanks for reminding me." Sephiroth snapped Seymour's fingers, yet again Tidus was swallowed by a dark vortex that leads to an infinite plane of complete and total darkness.
Sephiroth was about to continue when Paine got behind him and smashed him in the head. Yuna walked into the room. Paine took out her pocketknife. "Do I kill him physically, or do I slit his throat?" Paine asked Yuna. "Don't kill him at all. Seymour's just used as a host. It's really not his fault," Yuna said. "Fine."
(Don't worry about Rikku and Tidus, they'll come back. Next chapter, Seymour will ask Yuna to go on a date with him! And Wakka will try to impress Lulu. Tidus and Rikku just watch in amusement. Well, later!)