(Oh my god, I'm actually updating! Is it a sign of the apocalypse? Oh yeah,
I want ten reviews, not nine! Oh yeah, there will be three more chapters,
including this one.)
Chapter Nine: Seymour goes to get a hair cut! LALALALALA! Oh yeah, and a Highway Chase
"Dad, are you insane?! I've never gotten my hair cut in my life!" Seymour exclaimed as he and his father rode to the Macalania Plaza.
"Seymour, the last time we tried to cut your hair you almost killed the barber and you kept on shouting, 'I AM THE DARK GOD OF OBLIVION, SEPHIROTH!' Why? Well, you were only five," his father replied.
Seymour crossed his arms. "Fine."
When they got to Happy Hair, The Place Where Hair is Happy, Seymour saw gruesome things.
Basically, there were many scissors and junk, but you see, to a person who had bonded with his hair it was horrible.
Meanwhile, Tidus and Wakka were walking to the exact same barber place.
"Wakka, you don't need a hair cut, you don't need anything!" Tidus complained. Wakka punched Tidus in the arm. "But brudda, my little spiky thing is drooping."
Tidus's eye twitched. "Wait, it takes two hours just for them to spike your wavy piece of hair?" Tidus asked.
"Well yeah. It's a very delicate procedure," Wakka replied.
Tidus stopped. "Mental note, never go with friends to places that involve their personal issues."
"So Lulu, you and me go to the same barber place?" Rikku asked as Lulu, Yuna and herself rode on the city bus to the same Happy Hair place which Wakka and Tidus were also headed to.
"So Yuna, what did you do over the weekend?" Lulu asked, ignoring Rikku's question, which ticked her off. Yuna looked up from the book she was reading. "Oh, I just bought a cat that I named Kimarhi."
"Crap," Seymour said to himself as he saw that no one else was at Happy Hair. "Great, I have to go immediately."
"Strange, I've never seen anyone with hair quite like this," the barber dude commented.
"Yes, well, his hair is peculiar," said Jyscal, who was Seymour's father.
"Don't worry," the barber started, "I'll be sure to completely redo it."
The barber grabbed the scissors and prepared to deal with the toughest haircut he would ever encounter in his young yet junky life.
He started to cut Seymour's hair. Strangely, the scissors broke the minute they clamped on Seymour's hair. It was his hair was made out of metal.
The barber dude gritted his teeth. "Very complex, very. Well, if the scissors won't work, we must take it up a notch."
"What do you have in mind?" Jyscal asked.
"This," the barber dude said as he pulled out a large leather case. He opened it up, and took out a huge chainsaw and started cocking it.
"Are you sure that's necessary?" Jyscal asked worriedly.
The barber dude smiled. "No worries. It's not like I'm going to miss and decapitate him or something."
Jyscal froze.
"Oh my god," Seymour thought. "I have to get out of here. This isn't Happy Hair, it's a place where you get mutilated!"
Rikku started twisting a strand of her hair on her finger. "So bored, so bored. Nothing, nothing to do. Must, exert energy. Going to go insane soon, very soon," she said as a very freaky expression appeared on her face.
She turned to Lulu. "How can you just sit there? Aren't you going mad?"
Lulu sighed. "I'm not, you are. It's easy to understand. I focus all of my energy, on looking straight ahead. Why don't you try?"
"Okay!" Rikku tried it, for five seconds, before returning to her psychopathic state.
Suddenly, the bus jerked to the left. Rikku smashed her head on the window, sending her to La La Land.
Yuna grabbed the seat. "What was that?!" Yuna asked urgently. Lulu got up. "Look!"
All of the passengers turned, to see a monkey driving the bus, while the driver was dead, on the floor.
"We have to stop the monkey!" someone shouted.
Tidus and Wakka walked down the street. "Wakka, do I truly, have to go with you?"
Wakka laughed. "Well, brudda, you volunteered. So of course you're coming!"
Tidus looked at him in horror. He then rubbed his face. "Why don't you just rip out my soul and kill me God?" he thought.
Suddenly, they both saw a raging bus on fire head straight for them. "I didn't mean right now!" Tidus cried out. Wakka turned and pushed him out of the way in slow- motion. "NOOOO!!!!" he yelled out as he pushed Tidus out of the way.
Time regained its natural state as the bus smashed Wakka into a building.
"Wakka!" Tidus cried. He then stopped. "Hold on, now that Wakka died at an early age, I don't have to go to Happy Hair, the Place Where Your Hair Gets Happy."
Wakka then came out and started walking towards Tidus. "Crap. Why have you forsaken me?" he muttered.
"That was a close one, ya?" Tidus looked him. "You're supposed to be dead!"
Wakka laughed. The bus nearly missed me, so we can go to Happy Hair!"
Tidus was about to reply when the bus moved out and started moving again.
"That bus was supposed to blow up too!" Wakka stared at him. "But brudda, what about all the innocent people who would be eradicated?"
"Not my problem," Tidus replied.
The bus then stopped and the monkey opened the window and looked at them. It then stuck its tongue out at Tidus and started driving off again.
Tidus just stared. "That monkey, did NOT just provoke me."
"He did," Wakka corrected. Tidus gritted his teeth. "Wakka, go jack a motorcycle. We're taking that monkey down!"
"I'm with you there brudda!" Wakka then ran into the Harley Davidson shop next to them, beat up some people, and came out with a Hot rod.
"Come on brudda! Let's do this!"
Tidus jumped on, and they went after the bus.
The barber dude started to use the chainsaw on Seymour's hair. It did not seem to be working.
He did it for about two minutes. Two minutes later, the chainsaw fell apart.
The barber dude just stared. He turned to Jyscal with his hand open. "That'll be five- hundred gil please."
Jyscal stared at him. "Why should I pay you? His hair hasn't changed! And five- hundred gil?!"
"It's impossible. And that's the normal fee 'cause you didn't really use a coupon or anything."
Seymour stood up. "I have had enough of this stupidity!" He gained the features that differentiate him from Sephiroth. "Now, prepare to face the wrath, of the ark god of oblivion, SEPHIROTH!"
"The one from Final Fantasy VII?" the barber dude asked.
"No!" Sephiroth asked as he smacked the barber dude to the ground with Seymour's main strand of hair.
This of course, caused Jyscal to faint.
Suddenly, the wall busted as a bus on fire smashed through the building and rammed Sephiroth.
The bus busted out onto the street with Sephiroth holding onto the front. He got up to see a monkey driving inside. "How very peculiar, a monkey driving a bus."
Tidus and Wakka were gaining on the bus. However, the bus was getting on the highway.
"Wakka, the bus is getting on the highway!" Tidus called out to his friend who was sitting right next to him.
"No worries, brudda! We're bring it down!"
Wakka pulled a switch, causing a huge rocket engine to erupt from the backside of the Hot Rod. "Hold on to something!" Wakka yelled.
The engine bursted, causing the motorcycle to get right next to the bus. "Jump!" Wakka cried as he jumped on the bus.
Tidus barely made it before the motorcycle flew back and blew up, causing a huge explosion which propelled the bus farther.
"Brudda, you go inside and take out the monkey!" Wakka exclaimed as he opened up a hatch on the top of the bus.
"Be careful," Wakka said as Tidus dropped in.
Tidus landed and started running towards the driver's cabin, completely ignoring Yuna, Lulu, and a comatose Rikku.
"Rikku, wake up! Tidus is here!" Yuna exclaimed as she shook Rikku. Lulu sighed. "She's in a coma Yuna. She's like a vegetable. We'll be lucky if she wakes up in twenty years."
Wakka sat down on the top of the bus as Sephiroth jumped on top. "What are you doing here?" he asked as Wakka looked at him. "I dunno. Me and Tidus are trying to take down the monkey."
Tidus entered the driver's cabin. "You monkey, stop right now!" he exclaimed.
The monkey s laughed maniacally and smacked Tidus in the face. Tidus, using his samurai abilities, kicked the monkey out of the window, and started steering the bus.
It barely came to a halt, before it crashed into the Burger King.
(Oh yeah. Haven't updated in a long time, I know.)
Chapter Nine: Seymour goes to get a hair cut! LALALALALA! Oh yeah, and a Highway Chase
"Dad, are you insane?! I've never gotten my hair cut in my life!" Seymour exclaimed as he and his father rode to the Macalania Plaza.
"Seymour, the last time we tried to cut your hair you almost killed the barber and you kept on shouting, 'I AM THE DARK GOD OF OBLIVION, SEPHIROTH!' Why? Well, you were only five," his father replied.
Seymour crossed his arms. "Fine."
When they got to Happy Hair, The Place Where Hair is Happy, Seymour saw gruesome things.
Basically, there were many scissors and junk, but you see, to a person who had bonded with his hair it was horrible.
Meanwhile, Tidus and Wakka were walking to the exact same barber place.
"Wakka, you don't need a hair cut, you don't need anything!" Tidus complained. Wakka punched Tidus in the arm. "But brudda, my little spiky thing is drooping."
Tidus's eye twitched. "Wait, it takes two hours just for them to spike your wavy piece of hair?" Tidus asked.
"Well yeah. It's a very delicate procedure," Wakka replied.
Tidus stopped. "Mental note, never go with friends to places that involve their personal issues."
"So Lulu, you and me go to the same barber place?" Rikku asked as Lulu, Yuna and herself rode on the city bus to the same Happy Hair place which Wakka and Tidus were also headed to.
"So Yuna, what did you do over the weekend?" Lulu asked, ignoring Rikku's question, which ticked her off. Yuna looked up from the book she was reading. "Oh, I just bought a cat that I named Kimarhi."
"Crap," Seymour said to himself as he saw that no one else was at Happy Hair. "Great, I have to go immediately."
"Strange, I've never seen anyone with hair quite like this," the barber dude commented.
"Yes, well, his hair is peculiar," said Jyscal, who was Seymour's father.
"Don't worry," the barber started, "I'll be sure to completely redo it."
The barber grabbed the scissors and prepared to deal with the toughest haircut he would ever encounter in his young yet junky life.
He started to cut Seymour's hair. Strangely, the scissors broke the minute they clamped on Seymour's hair. It was his hair was made out of metal.
The barber dude gritted his teeth. "Very complex, very. Well, if the scissors won't work, we must take it up a notch."
"What do you have in mind?" Jyscal asked.
"This," the barber dude said as he pulled out a large leather case. He opened it up, and took out a huge chainsaw and started cocking it.
"Are you sure that's necessary?" Jyscal asked worriedly.
The barber dude smiled. "No worries. It's not like I'm going to miss and decapitate him or something."
Jyscal froze.
"Oh my god," Seymour thought. "I have to get out of here. This isn't Happy Hair, it's a place where you get mutilated!"
Rikku started twisting a strand of her hair on her finger. "So bored, so bored. Nothing, nothing to do. Must, exert energy. Going to go insane soon, very soon," she said as a very freaky expression appeared on her face.
She turned to Lulu. "How can you just sit there? Aren't you going mad?"
Lulu sighed. "I'm not, you are. It's easy to understand. I focus all of my energy, on looking straight ahead. Why don't you try?"
"Okay!" Rikku tried it, for five seconds, before returning to her psychopathic state.
Suddenly, the bus jerked to the left. Rikku smashed her head on the window, sending her to La La Land.
Yuna grabbed the seat. "What was that?!" Yuna asked urgently. Lulu got up. "Look!"
All of the passengers turned, to see a monkey driving the bus, while the driver was dead, on the floor.
"We have to stop the monkey!" someone shouted.
Tidus and Wakka walked down the street. "Wakka, do I truly, have to go with you?"
Wakka laughed. "Well, brudda, you volunteered. So of course you're coming!"
Tidus looked at him in horror. He then rubbed his face. "Why don't you just rip out my soul and kill me God?" he thought.
Suddenly, they both saw a raging bus on fire head straight for them. "I didn't mean right now!" Tidus cried out. Wakka turned and pushed him out of the way in slow- motion. "NOOOO!!!!" he yelled out as he pushed Tidus out of the way.
Time regained its natural state as the bus smashed Wakka into a building.
"Wakka!" Tidus cried. He then stopped. "Hold on, now that Wakka died at an early age, I don't have to go to Happy Hair, the Place Where Your Hair Gets Happy."
Wakka then came out and started walking towards Tidus. "Crap. Why have you forsaken me?" he muttered.
"That was a close one, ya?" Tidus looked him. "You're supposed to be dead!"
Wakka laughed. The bus nearly missed me, so we can go to Happy Hair!"
Tidus was about to reply when the bus moved out and started moving again.
"That bus was supposed to blow up too!" Wakka stared at him. "But brudda, what about all the innocent people who would be eradicated?"
"Not my problem," Tidus replied.
The bus then stopped and the monkey opened the window and looked at them. It then stuck its tongue out at Tidus and started driving off again.
Tidus just stared. "That monkey, did NOT just provoke me."
"He did," Wakka corrected. Tidus gritted his teeth. "Wakka, go jack a motorcycle. We're taking that monkey down!"
"I'm with you there brudda!" Wakka then ran into the Harley Davidson shop next to them, beat up some people, and came out with a Hot rod.
"Come on brudda! Let's do this!"
Tidus jumped on, and they went after the bus.
The barber dude started to use the chainsaw on Seymour's hair. It did not seem to be working.
He did it for about two minutes. Two minutes later, the chainsaw fell apart.
The barber dude just stared. He turned to Jyscal with his hand open. "That'll be five- hundred gil please."
Jyscal stared at him. "Why should I pay you? His hair hasn't changed! And five- hundred gil?!"
"It's impossible. And that's the normal fee 'cause you didn't really use a coupon or anything."
Seymour stood up. "I have had enough of this stupidity!" He gained the features that differentiate him from Sephiroth. "Now, prepare to face the wrath, of the ark god of oblivion, SEPHIROTH!"
"The one from Final Fantasy VII?" the barber dude asked.
"No!" Sephiroth asked as he smacked the barber dude to the ground with Seymour's main strand of hair.
This of course, caused Jyscal to faint.
Suddenly, the wall busted as a bus on fire smashed through the building and rammed Sephiroth.
The bus busted out onto the street with Sephiroth holding onto the front. He got up to see a monkey driving inside. "How very peculiar, a monkey driving a bus."
Tidus and Wakka were gaining on the bus. However, the bus was getting on the highway.
"Wakka, the bus is getting on the highway!" Tidus called out to his friend who was sitting right next to him.
"No worries, brudda! We're bring it down!"
Wakka pulled a switch, causing a huge rocket engine to erupt from the backside of the Hot Rod. "Hold on to something!" Wakka yelled.
The engine bursted, causing the motorcycle to get right next to the bus. "Jump!" Wakka cried as he jumped on the bus.
Tidus barely made it before the motorcycle flew back and blew up, causing a huge explosion which propelled the bus farther.
"Brudda, you go inside and take out the monkey!" Wakka exclaimed as he opened up a hatch on the top of the bus.
"Be careful," Wakka said as Tidus dropped in.
Tidus landed and started running towards the driver's cabin, completely ignoring Yuna, Lulu, and a comatose Rikku.
"Rikku, wake up! Tidus is here!" Yuna exclaimed as she shook Rikku. Lulu sighed. "She's in a coma Yuna. She's like a vegetable. We'll be lucky if she wakes up in twenty years."
Wakka sat down on the top of the bus as Sephiroth jumped on top. "What are you doing here?" he asked as Wakka looked at him. "I dunno. Me and Tidus are trying to take down the monkey."
Tidus entered the driver's cabin. "You monkey, stop right now!" he exclaimed.
The monkey s laughed maniacally and smacked Tidus in the face. Tidus, using his samurai abilities, kicked the monkey out of the window, and started steering the bus.
It barely came to a halt, before it crashed into the Burger King.
(Oh yeah. Haven't updated in a long time, I know.)