The song belongs to Savage Garden and Portman belongs to Disney. Yasmine
Maya Portman and Tyler Adam Portman belong to me.
I sat on the top of the steps watching the scene below; I knew it all to well, Dad smacking Mom around, Mom throwing things at him protecting her self. I stayed at the top of the steps. Yes, occasionally I did defend my mom. I'm not a jerk I don't like seeing my mom get the shit beat out of her but she can defend her self for the most part. Meanwhile I make sure no one goes up or down the stairs. If dad in his revolting angry drunk state comes up the stairs there is a good chance he'll go into Yasmine's or Tyler's room and they're to young to properly defend themselves from our dad. Tyler is the older of the two and he's only 12, Yasmine's 8. Tyler could probably fair well, maybe even kick ass in a fight with most 12 year olds but against a drunken 46-year-old man with no hair and extra body weight, I don't think he would. I watched for a good half an hour before mom left the room in tears and dad passed out on the couch. Slowly the door creaked open and my mom walked carefully into the living room. She made several quick glances at the couch before deciding that Dad is indeed asleep. Quietly she stooped down and started picking up pieces of vases and a chair or two. I make my way down the stairs and help her.
"Thank you Dean. Could you please wake up your brother and sister?" My mother asked gently. She sounded nothing like the woman who had been fighting most of the night. "It's time to get away." She added. I nod and walk back up the steps. I went into the first room grabbed my leather jacket and my duffel bag which held clothes, Cd's and my Walkman. We all had our bags pre-made because mom insisted it was easier to get away. We got away at least 5 or 6 times a month. After shouldering my duffle bag I walked into the next room. I set my bag at the end of the bed and shook my brother awake.
"Tyler put on your jacket and lets go." I told him. He rolled over.
"I'm tired I don't wanna go." He complained.
"Tyler Adam, get up lets go." I say. After a few minutes of silence I pick the younger boy up and place him on his feet.
"Get your bag and put your jacket on." I instruct and this time he obeys. After grabbing my bag from the end of his bed, I go into the next room.
"Yasmine." I say gentle shaking my sister. Her eyes opened.
"Time to go?" she asked half drowsy, half complaining. I nod.
"Just for a little while." I tell her. Slowly she gets up and puts on her sweatshirt. After waiting for Yasmine to get her stuff we walk out into the hall where Tyler is waiting. I follow them down the stairs and grab the car keys off the hall table. Mom has now come out of her room and is in the lead. My siblings climb into the back seat of the car after throwing their bags into the trunk. Mom is now wearing a long sleeve shirt to try and hide the cuts and bruises that are scattered all over her arms.
"Mommy, why are we leaving?" Yasmine asked still slightly clueless. I could see mom trying to find an answer that fit.
"Dad's sick. Mom doesn't want us getting sick so we are leaving till he feels better." I lied and she knew it, she isn't stupid. I'm gonna have to think up an excuse ahead of time next time. They ask every time but they know what's going on, they are just trying to fool themselves. I know I was like that when I was their age.
And she takes another step
Slowly she opens the door
Check that he is sleeping
Pick up all the broken glass and furniture on the floor
Been up half the night screaming now it's time to get away
Pack up the kids in the car
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write
I watched Yasmine and Tyler play the 'another' game. It's really stupid but, when Tyler and I were younger we had to keep are selves entertained somehow. Its basically, you find two objects on the road that are the same, like two rail roads or something, after you pass the 2nd object you say, another whatever object you picked. Who ever is the last one to say another whatever before we stop wins.
"Another ditch." Tyler said lazily. "And yet we're still moving." He muttered.
"Another stop sign." Yasmine said without enthusiasm. "and we still keep moving." She yawned. Both of them had fallen asleep in 5 minutes. I looked back at them. I remember being like that when I was the age. It doesn't seem that long ago. When I was 14, I almost didn't go to the goodwill games if it wasn't for the fact that Tyler, mom and Yasmine wanted me to I would have never gone. The more I thought about how my life has been; I realized I spend about 8/10ths of it in this beat up piece of junk. I can't believe, I made it for so long.
Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Wonder how I ever made it through
I couldn't help but start thinking about Tyler and Yasmine again. I turned my head and saw that they were still asleep. Will they make it thought this fucking nightmare? More then likely. I shouldn't worry over shit that isn't going to happen. People say that the mind is a complex and amazing part of your body. It's not for half the people I know, siblings included. All they know is after a nice little trip in the car they get candy and a couple of new toys and stay in some run-down cheap hotel that usually has a total of two beds and a coffee machine. I hit my head against the seat.
"When we go home I need to buy groceries." My mom said.
"When we go home? News flash this damned car is our home and that cheep hotel on 19th street is our house." I tell her angrily.
"Well, Dean, you know just as well as I do we have to go home sometime." She said. And with that the car ride was quiet.
And there are children to think of
Baby's asleep in the backseat
Wonder how they'll ever make it through this living nightmare But the mind is an amazing thing
Full of candy dreams and new toys and another cheap hotel Two beds and a coffee machine
But there are groceries to buy
And she knows she'll have to go home
My earlier thoughts replayed in my head as I played a silent game of 'another' in my head. Lets see, Another ditch, tree, soda can, I listed then added, we are still moving. More stop signs, run-down houses, garbage. But we need to keep moving. I looked back at the two younger kids in the back. I can remember when I was 8, Tyler was 4 and Yasmine was due, that seems like yesterday. The years go bye so fast. I remember when I didn't know If I would make it through.
Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Wonder how I ever made it through
I thought about mom. How whenever she looks at her arms she must see the scars, making her feel worse about herself. I after a few minutes of blankness I started thinking up good excuses to leave the house in the middle of the night, unfortunately, there really aren't any. I look out at the highway ahead of us, and see a whole bunch more. Something seems to be waiting in the darkness. I cant really describe it but, it seems so much more peaceful then the blinding sun. So much more relaxed, so hopeful. When I was 12 I didn't think I could make it and still keep Tyler and Yasmine safe. Now I know we are all gonna make it through.
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write
Another lonely highway in the black of night
But there's hope in the darkness
You know you're going to make it
I spotted several more ditches and couldn't help but think 'Damn Chicago has a lot of ditches' as we glided past them, past everything. Just barley stopping for red lights and stop signs. I took awe at how I used to see things compared to know, it doesn't seem that long ago I actually thought I could shield everyone from this. When I was 12 I was this quiet emotionless. Shell like person. Hat mask was supposed to keep me safe from my wife having to do this with her kids. Now instead of wondering how I ever made it through this little midnight road trip I wonder how I managed to be quiet for so long.
Another ditch in the road
Keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Silent fortress built to last
Wonder how I ever made it
I sat on the top of the steps watching the scene below; I knew it all to well, Dad smacking Mom around, Mom throwing things at him protecting her self. I stayed at the top of the steps. Yes, occasionally I did defend my mom. I'm not a jerk I don't like seeing my mom get the shit beat out of her but she can defend her self for the most part. Meanwhile I make sure no one goes up or down the stairs. If dad in his revolting angry drunk state comes up the stairs there is a good chance he'll go into Yasmine's or Tyler's room and they're to young to properly defend themselves from our dad. Tyler is the older of the two and he's only 12, Yasmine's 8. Tyler could probably fair well, maybe even kick ass in a fight with most 12 year olds but against a drunken 46-year-old man with no hair and extra body weight, I don't think he would. I watched for a good half an hour before mom left the room in tears and dad passed out on the couch. Slowly the door creaked open and my mom walked carefully into the living room. She made several quick glances at the couch before deciding that Dad is indeed asleep. Quietly she stooped down and started picking up pieces of vases and a chair or two. I make my way down the stairs and help her.
"Thank you Dean. Could you please wake up your brother and sister?" My mother asked gently. She sounded nothing like the woman who had been fighting most of the night. "It's time to get away." She added. I nod and walk back up the steps. I went into the first room grabbed my leather jacket and my duffel bag which held clothes, Cd's and my Walkman. We all had our bags pre-made because mom insisted it was easier to get away. We got away at least 5 or 6 times a month. After shouldering my duffle bag I walked into the next room. I set my bag at the end of the bed and shook my brother awake.
"Tyler put on your jacket and lets go." I told him. He rolled over.
"I'm tired I don't wanna go." He complained.
"Tyler Adam, get up lets go." I say. After a few minutes of silence I pick the younger boy up and place him on his feet.
"Get your bag and put your jacket on." I instruct and this time he obeys. After grabbing my bag from the end of his bed, I go into the next room.
"Yasmine." I say gentle shaking my sister. Her eyes opened.
"Time to go?" she asked half drowsy, half complaining. I nod.
"Just for a little while." I tell her. Slowly she gets up and puts on her sweatshirt. After waiting for Yasmine to get her stuff we walk out into the hall where Tyler is waiting. I follow them down the stairs and grab the car keys off the hall table. Mom has now come out of her room and is in the lead. My siblings climb into the back seat of the car after throwing their bags into the trunk. Mom is now wearing a long sleeve shirt to try and hide the cuts and bruises that are scattered all over her arms.
"Mommy, why are we leaving?" Yasmine asked still slightly clueless. I could see mom trying to find an answer that fit.
"Dad's sick. Mom doesn't want us getting sick so we are leaving till he feels better." I lied and she knew it, she isn't stupid. I'm gonna have to think up an excuse ahead of time next time. They ask every time but they know what's going on, they are just trying to fool themselves. I know I was like that when I was their age.
And she takes another step
Slowly she opens the door
Check that he is sleeping
Pick up all the broken glass and furniture on the floor
Been up half the night screaming now it's time to get away
Pack up the kids in the car
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write
I watched Yasmine and Tyler play the 'another' game. It's really stupid but, when Tyler and I were younger we had to keep are selves entertained somehow. Its basically, you find two objects on the road that are the same, like two rail roads or something, after you pass the 2nd object you say, another whatever object you picked. Who ever is the last one to say another whatever before we stop wins.
"Another ditch." Tyler said lazily. "And yet we're still moving." He muttered.
"Another stop sign." Yasmine said without enthusiasm. "and we still keep moving." She yawned. Both of them had fallen asleep in 5 minutes. I looked back at them. I remember being like that when I was the age. It doesn't seem that long ago. When I was 14, I almost didn't go to the goodwill games if it wasn't for the fact that Tyler, mom and Yasmine wanted me to I would have never gone. The more I thought about how my life has been; I realized I spend about 8/10ths of it in this beat up piece of junk. I can't believe, I made it for so long.
Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Wonder how I ever made it through
I couldn't help but start thinking about Tyler and Yasmine again. I turned my head and saw that they were still asleep. Will they make it thought this fucking nightmare? More then likely. I shouldn't worry over shit that isn't going to happen. People say that the mind is a complex and amazing part of your body. It's not for half the people I know, siblings included. All they know is after a nice little trip in the car they get candy and a couple of new toys and stay in some run-down cheap hotel that usually has a total of two beds and a coffee machine. I hit my head against the seat.
"When we go home I need to buy groceries." My mom said.
"When we go home? News flash this damned car is our home and that cheep hotel on 19th street is our house." I tell her angrily.
"Well, Dean, you know just as well as I do we have to go home sometime." She said. And with that the car ride was quiet.
And there are children to think of
Baby's asleep in the backseat
Wonder how they'll ever make it through this living nightmare But the mind is an amazing thing
Full of candy dreams and new toys and another cheap hotel Two beds and a coffee machine
But there are groceries to buy
And she knows she'll have to go home
My earlier thoughts replayed in my head as I played a silent game of 'another' in my head. Lets see, Another ditch, tree, soda can, I listed then added, we are still moving. More stop signs, run-down houses, garbage. But we need to keep moving. I looked back at the two younger kids in the back. I can remember when I was 8, Tyler was 4 and Yasmine was due, that seems like yesterday. The years go bye so fast. I remember when I didn't know If I would make it through.
Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Wonder how I ever made it through
I thought about mom. How whenever she looks at her arms she must see the scars, making her feel worse about herself. I after a few minutes of blankness I started thinking up good excuses to leave the house in the middle of the night, unfortunately, there really aren't any. I look out at the highway ahead of us, and see a whole bunch more. Something seems to be waiting in the darkness. I cant really describe it but, it seems so much more peaceful then the blinding sun. So much more relaxed, so hopeful. When I was 12 I didn't think I could make it and still keep Tyler and Yasmine safe. Now I know we are all gonna make it through.
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write
Another lonely highway in the black of night
But there's hope in the darkness
You know you're going to make it
I spotted several more ditches and couldn't help but think 'Damn Chicago has a lot of ditches' as we glided past them, past everything. Just barley stopping for red lights and stop signs. I took awe at how I used to see things compared to know, it doesn't seem that long ago I actually thought I could shield everyone from this. When I was 12 I was this quiet emotionless. Shell like person. Hat mask was supposed to keep me safe from my wife having to do this with her kids. Now instead of wondering how I ever made it through this little midnight road trip I wonder how I managed to be quiet for so long.
Another ditch in the road
Keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Silent fortress built to last
Wonder how I ever made it