Blink 182 owns Adam's Song and Disney (believe it or not) still own the
ducks including Charlie.
WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT
I sat at my desk. I hate being alone, all the ducks were moving into they're college dorms. Well, I can't say every duck; the bash brothers and me are to broke to afford college but, at least Fulton's moving to Chicago with Dean. So here I am. Alone. I could die right now and I don't think any one would notice. I would die alone. I never expected that I would. I mean, I was surrounded by the ducks for a large part of my life and we were always laughing, especially me. And yet now I want to die. I had thoughts like these since I moved into my own apartment. I tried to turn on my stereo but it wouldn't come on.
"What the fucks wrong with it now?" I muttered to myself. I stood up and looked at the back of my radio. My eyes followed the cord towards the wall, but the cord fell short of the electrical socket. I rolled my eyes.
"Next time plug it in Conway." I scolded myself. I decided not to fool with it and just walked around the block. There was nothing really to do anymore, so I leisurely walked the block. I was just about to my house when I felt this urge to hurry. When I got into the house, I went into the living room and just sat on the couch. On the small coffee table was my Swiss army knife.
"I'm gonna do it, this how I'm gonna end." I said to the half empty room. Maybe in the depressed state of mind I couldn't think enough, all I knew is that the pain would stop. I was to depressed I felt I couldn't go on. I looked at the picture of mom and Keith."
"You'll be sorry when I'm gone." I told Keith's image sarcastically. We hated each other.
I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
no wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
the choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
you'll be sorry when I'm gone
Thinking back to when I was in high school I remembered how much I wanted to beat Eden Hall Alumni at there own game. That never happened and no matter how the ducks and me tried we never conquered Eden Hall. Hell, In the beginning I barley even showed up. When I was 16 all I did was back talk, that is If me and Fulton weren't ditching. Those things made me feel so. Alive. Everything seemed so good back then, or maybe I was just to naive to realize it wasn't. Back when we were at the goodwill games we couldn't ait to get out into the ice and make everyone outside know that team USA was going to dominate. However, after seeing all the teams, we realized how big the world truly was. It seemed to late to win, almost impossible. But in the end we survived. I couldn't wait to get home and tell my mom. But, when I got home, the house was empty so I just waited. In my room alone for the first time in months, and for the first 10 minutes it felt good.
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
days when I still felt alive
we couldn't wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
to pass the time in my room alone
I pocketed the knife and went up to my room. I sat in front of my computer and turned it on. Quickly, I got on the net and my email. I at least owed the ducks and my mom a proper good bye. I smiled at my email address, the team insisted my email be 'Captian_Duck_96@hotmail.com'. After I typed in all of the email addresses into the send to box I began my message.
Ducks (and mom, Bombay and Orion),
I never thought it would end like this. Me alone with a knife. Don't worry about it, in a couple of months I'll just fade. Hell it's all ready began, I'm just Charlie now. I'm not college bound or even leaving Minnesota. I want you guys to have whatever you want. All my things go to my friends. You wont ever need to go in my room. You can close it up board it shut. Remember me doing something bad while being innocent like the time I spilled my juice in the hall. Mom, please remember this is NOT your fault.
I never thought I'd die alone
another six months I'll be unknown
give all my things to all my friends
you'll never step foot in my room again
you'll close it off, board it up
remember the time that I spilled the cup
of apple juice in the hall
please tell mom this is not her fault
I read the first half then added more of an explanation.
I never did corner the hockey market. I don't even play now. I guess I never will. 16 was better, I was so alive then. Us as a team were excited to get out into the world. together. We soon realized how stupid that was. The world was to big for us to even try and stay together, it was to late to try. We figured we would survive and you guys will. I couldn't wait till I got home some days. But, that was only to spend time in my room. by myself.
~Charles Ryan Conway
With that said I pressed the send button. A small window popped up and told me my message was sent. I shut down my computer and sat at the foot of my bed. I pulled the knife out of my pocket and turned it slowly in my hand knowing that very soon, the ducks would get my message. Pulled the knife out of its compartment and touched it to my left wrist. The cool metal felt eerily cool and calming. I pressed the metal harder and dragged it across my wrist the up it forming a sort of cross on my arm. For a minute I watched the blood ooze out of the self-inflicted wound, then completed the process by doing the same to my right wrist. After endless minutes of watching the blood stream down my arms the world started spinning then suddenly went black.
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
days when I still felt alive
we couldn't wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
to pass the time in my room alone
Black. that was the last thing I remembered. Slowly I opened my eyes to see a blinding light.
"Oh My God! Charlie!" A female yelled throwing her arms around me. After a minute of adjusting to the light I saw Connie. Shifting my gaze around me I saw all of them. My mom, the ducks, my friends, the coaches. everyone even the out of state ducks. For a minute they just stared at me.
"Charlie, hurry up and get up so we can kill you." Fulton said sounding dead serious. Julie punched him in the arm.
"What the hell made you do something like this?" Jesse yelled.
"Yea, who cares if you don't play hockey or go to college or even conquered anything." Luis said.
"how did you save me? Better yet why?" I asked.
"Well, how you were save was because I'm a computer geek and was sitting at the computer when your email came in. I called Jesse because he could get to you faster." Averman said.
"By the way, you house is really easy to break into." Jesse said.
"Now as to why we saved you. its because what the hell would we do with out a captain Spazway?" Guy questioned, followed by nods.
"Now Charlie, tomorrow you can get out of the hospital and your coming home with me and Keith." My mom said.
"And after you hang out with your folks for a while you coming out with us." Russ said gesturing to everyone of the ducks.
"That should make you feel alive." Julie said. Soon everyone had to leave and I was in the hospital room staring at the ceiling. "God, I can't wait to get outside." I muttered staring out the window.
The next couple of days were great. The ducks and me went everywhere and did almost everything. Once again realizing that if Minnesota was so wide, how big the world was. We gave the out of state ducks a tour of Minnesota. We really never gave them one. The 'tour' before this one was more of here's the store, here's my house and that road takes you back to school sorta deal. Now it was all out. We even ventured into some of the other cities, like Brooklyn Park to see the Mall of America. Now I'm pretty glad I survived. But at the moment, I just wanna go home and relax by myself. If that is indeed possible at the moment.
I never conquered, rarely came
tomorrow holds such better days
days when I can still feel alive
when I can't wait to get outside
the world is wide, the time goes by
the tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait till I get home
to pass the time in my room alone
I sat at my desk. I hate being alone, all the ducks were moving into they're college dorms. Well, I can't say every duck; the bash brothers and me are to broke to afford college but, at least Fulton's moving to Chicago with Dean. So here I am. Alone. I could die right now and I don't think any one would notice. I would die alone. I never expected that I would. I mean, I was surrounded by the ducks for a large part of my life and we were always laughing, especially me. And yet now I want to die. I had thoughts like these since I moved into my own apartment. I tried to turn on my stereo but it wouldn't come on.
"What the fucks wrong with it now?" I muttered to myself. I stood up and looked at the back of my radio. My eyes followed the cord towards the wall, but the cord fell short of the electrical socket. I rolled my eyes.
"Next time plug it in Conway." I scolded myself. I decided not to fool with it and just walked around the block. There was nothing really to do anymore, so I leisurely walked the block. I was just about to my house when I felt this urge to hurry. When I got into the house, I went into the living room and just sat on the couch. On the small coffee table was my Swiss army knife.
"I'm gonna do it, this how I'm gonna end." I said to the half empty room. Maybe in the depressed state of mind I couldn't think enough, all I knew is that the pain would stop. I was to depressed I felt I couldn't go on. I looked at the picture of mom and Keith."
"You'll be sorry when I'm gone." I told Keith's image sarcastically. We hated each other.
I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
no wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
the choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
you'll be sorry when I'm gone
Thinking back to when I was in high school I remembered how much I wanted to beat Eden Hall Alumni at there own game. That never happened and no matter how the ducks and me tried we never conquered Eden Hall. Hell, In the beginning I barley even showed up. When I was 16 all I did was back talk, that is If me and Fulton weren't ditching. Those things made me feel so. Alive. Everything seemed so good back then, or maybe I was just to naive to realize it wasn't. Back when we were at the goodwill games we couldn't ait to get out into the ice and make everyone outside know that team USA was going to dominate. However, after seeing all the teams, we realized how big the world truly was. It seemed to late to win, almost impossible. But in the end we survived. I couldn't wait to get home and tell my mom. But, when I got home, the house was empty so I just waited. In my room alone for the first time in months, and for the first 10 minutes it felt good.
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
days when I still felt alive
we couldn't wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
to pass the time in my room alone
I pocketed the knife and went up to my room. I sat in front of my computer and turned it on. Quickly, I got on the net and my email. I at least owed the ducks and my mom a proper good bye. I smiled at my email address, the team insisted my email be 'Captian_Duck_96@hotmail.com'. After I typed in all of the email addresses into the send to box I began my message.
Ducks (and mom, Bombay and Orion),
I never thought it would end like this. Me alone with a knife. Don't worry about it, in a couple of months I'll just fade. Hell it's all ready began, I'm just Charlie now. I'm not college bound or even leaving Minnesota. I want you guys to have whatever you want. All my things go to my friends. You wont ever need to go in my room. You can close it up board it shut. Remember me doing something bad while being innocent like the time I spilled my juice in the hall. Mom, please remember this is NOT your fault.
I never thought I'd die alone
another six months I'll be unknown
give all my things to all my friends
you'll never step foot in my room again
you'll close it off, board it up
remember the time that I spilled the cup
of apple juice in the hall
please tell mom this is not her fault
I read the first half then added more of an explanation.
I never did corner the hockey market. I don't even play now. I guess I never will. 16 was better, I was so alive then. Us as a team were excited to get out into the world. together. We soon realized how stupid that was. The world was to big for us to even try and stay together, it was to late to try. We figured we would survive and you guys will. I couldn't wait till I got home some days. But, that was only to spend time in my room. by myself.
~Charles Ryan Conway
With that said I pressed the send button. A small window popped up and told me my message was sent. I shut down my computer and sat at the foot of my bed. I pulled the knife out of my pocket and turned it slowly in my hand knowing that very soon, the ducks would get my message. Pulled the knife out of its compartment and touched it to my left wrist. The cool metal felt eerily cool and calming. I pressed the metal harder and dragged it across my wrist the up it forming a sort of cross on my arm. For a minute I watched the blood ooze out of the self-inflicted wound, then completed the process by doing the same to my right wrist. After endless minutes of watching the blood stream down my arms the world started spinning then suddenly went black.
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
days when I still felt alive
we couldn't wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
to pass the time in my room alone
Black. that was the last thing I remembered. Slowly I opened my eyes to see a blinding light.
"Oh My God! Charlie!" A female yelled throwing her arms around me. After a minute of adjusting to the light I saw Connie. Shifting my gaze around me I saw all of them. My mom, the ducks, my friends, the coaches. everyone even the out of state ducks. For a minute they just stared at me.
"Charlie, hurry up and get up so we can kill you." Fulton said sounding dead serious. Julie punched him in the arm.
"What the hell made you do something like this?" Jesse yelled.
"Yea, who cares if you don't play hockey or go to college or even conquered anything." Luis said.
"how did you save me? Better yet why?" I asked.
"Well, how you were save was because I'm a computer geek and was sitting at the computer when your email came in. I called Jesse because he could get to you faster." Averman said.
"By the way, you house is really easy to break into." Jesse said.
"Now as to why we saved you. its because what the hell would we do with out a captain Spazway?" Guy questioned, followed by nods.
"Now Charlie, tomorrow you can get out of the hospital and your coming home with me and Keith." My mom said.
"And after you hang out with your folks for a while you coming out with us." Russ said gesturing to everyone of the ducks.
"That should make you feel alive." Julie said. Soon everyone had to leave and I was in the hospital room staring at the ceiling. "God, I can't wait to get outside." I muttered staring out the window.
The next couple of days were great. The ducks and me went everywhere and did almost everything. Once again realizing that if Minnesota was so wide, how big the world was. We gave the out of state ducks a tour of Minnesota. We really never gave them one. The 'tour' before this one was more of here's the store, here's my house and that road takes you back to school sorta deal. Now it was all out. We even ventured into some of the other cities, like Brooklyn Park to see the Mall of America. Now I'm pretty glad I survived. But at the moment, I just wanna go home and relax by myself. If that is indeed possible at the moment.
I never conquered, rarely came
tomorrow holds such better days
days when I can still feel alive
when I can't wait to get outside
the world is wide, the time goes by
the tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait till I get home
to pass the time in my room alone