So far away is by Stain'd. You know the rest. Sorry It took so long for me
to update I haven't really been in the mood to write. Especially this
chapter, I think this one is by far my least favorite one.
"In order to know your life you must reflect upon that which has already happened." Ms. Sharp Spoke in an overly jovial tone. Still here I am in my seat... that's if you want to call it that. It's a cushion against the back wall, same with every seat in the room. The only reason I took this psychology class was because Julie promised there was not actually work involved. Little did I know this teacher was a happy go lucky alien on a space trip.
"This is my life. Hell, we are in high school, I'm pretty sure we know our lives by now." Charlie whispered from next to me. I dragged him in here on the 'no work' lure also the fact we would be in a room full of girls for an hour and a half.
"You have to admit it's not what it was before, it's not the same as when we were younger." I told him. He just shrugged. Ms. Sharp noticed us talking.
"Boys, would you like to share you feelings with the class?" She asked sweetly.
"No." We replied simultaneously. She seemed slightly taken aback. Charlie and me always talked back.
"Ok, reflection time. I want you to rest against the wall and close your eyes. Now, I want you to think about your dreams." She instructed. Leaning against the wall I obeyed. My dream, surprising as it is, wasn't about hockey as I'm sure Charlie's is. Hockey was my dad's idea. My dream was to be an actor. A comical actor.
Later Averman and I were walking to lunch when we passed a crowd of people.
"Hey, Les, Come check it out." Natalie Bronx called to him. Both of us pushed though he group to the table where the brunette sat.
"Look," She said waving a clipboard in front of his face. He snatched it from her and examined it.
"Awesome Nat hand me a pen." He said happily.
"What is it man?" I asked trying to read over his shoulder.
"It's a sign up sheet. Its to hold you spot at an audition for any of the characters of the comical reenactment of Shakespeare's, Hamlet." He informs me handing it over. 'Stuff like this' I thought scribbling my name, 'These are my dreams.' Yea, I do occasionally dream of winning a hockey champion ship on behalf of both my country and my school but, I've done that already. These are the dreams that I've never lived before.
A couple of days later, they herded us all into the auditorium for auditions. I got on stage and I felt something... something good. Sounds faded into the background. Somebody shake me. I must still be dreaming.
This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I've shared
And these are my dreams
That I'd never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping
I sat in the back of the auditorium after my audition waiting for Averman. They didn't say anything about my audition to me but they didn't say anything to any one. Averman and me have to go straight to Hockey practice after this. Now that I'm here trying out a new dream hockey seems so far from the present. Thinking about what I'm doing made me realize that when I fought the team or struggled with my grades to keep playing, it was stupid. I mean why sacrifice things for something your forced to do? Don't get me wrong I don't regret joining the team and making some awesome friends but it just seems hopeless to try and live 2 dreams. All the things, mistakes and whatnot that made me put up with both a lecture from Coach Orion and Charlie weren't worth it. Because now they are going to go, fade away. Hockey is seriously so far away from my thoughts now. I feel a better I know its weird. But I feel more independent; I can do my own thing away from the team I feel like I can do more, better things as well. Instead of holding a grudge against those who have made fun of me and crap, I feel I can forgive them. Not that I wouldn't have anyway because I'm not Ashamed to be me, Gregory Michael Goldberg.
Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we fought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today
Averman and I made our way down to the rink in silence. When we got to the rink Coach was lecturing the team.
"Does it start with a W?" Averman said jokingly. I smiled.
"These are my words for you team, you need to try as hard as you possibly can! Win by incredible amounts, while keeping your dignity." He instructed.
"Like he's never said that before," I heard Charlie whisper to Fulton as I took my place next to him. After 30 minutes into the game, coach stops us again.
"How do you think your doing?" He barked.
"Well, I think I'm doing ok." I said beaming. After practice Me and Les were walking to the dorms when we spotted a throng of people gathered around the bulletin board. Natalie push through the crowd towards us.
"Les, Greg guess what! We made it, all three of us did." She yelped excitedly. I smiled brightly. This is my smile now, I don't think I've ever really fully smiled in front of anyone; this is the one that I've never really shown before. I stood there staring at the girl, now wrapped in a friendly embrace with Averman. I need to be shaken, I Must be sleeping and dreaming this.
These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doing ok
And this is the smile
That I've never shown before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping
Ms LeBlanc gathered us all into a group.
"I think we can all agree now that we are we, That is was naïve for us to think it was so far away." She said Smiling. "Now you realize all the struggle you fought wasn't in vain. A play if Life and All of those mistakes one life contained. Well looking back on it now they've finally gone away." She paused thinking about what to say. She reminded me of Charlie. He always gave us a little talk after a game, sometimes before. I echoed the first part in my head realizing that in the beginning I had thought that whole, 'its so far away thing.'
"You should feel like you can face the day. In fact repeat after me, I can face the day, If my peer makes a mistake I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to the person who I am today. Whether their roll is big or small." Ms. LeBlanc told us. All of us dutifly repeated after her as mumbled as it sounded.
Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we fought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today
It was almost my queue (even though it was also Natalie and Averman's queue) and we stood right to the right of the stage.
"I'm so afraid of wakin please don't shake me." I mumbled softly to myself. Averman glanced up at me. The line that brought us out was said.
"Ya ready man?" He whispered to me. I nodded and the three of us walked out onto the stage but only one thing rang through my head.
"so afraid of wakin please don't shake me."
I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
"In order to know your life you must reflect upon that which has already happened." Ms. Sharp Spoke in an overly jovial tone. Still here I am in my seat... that's if you want to call it that. It's a cushion against the back wall, same with every seat in the room. The only reason I took this psychology class was because Julie promised there was not actually work involved. Little did I know this teacher was a happy go lucky alien on a space trip.
"This is my life. Hell, we are in high school, I'm pretty sure we know our lives by now." Charlie whispered from next to me. I dragged him in here on the 'no work' lure also the fact we would be in a room full of girls for an hour and a half.
"You have to admit it's not what it was before, it's not the same as when we were younger." I told him. He just shrugged. Ms. Sharp noticed us talking.
"Boys, would you like to share you feelings with the class?" She asked sweetly.
"No." We replied simultaneously. She seemed slightly taken aback. Charlie and me always talked back.
"Ok, reflection time. I want you to rest against the wall and close your eyes. Now, I want you to think about your dreams." She instructed. Leaning against the wall I obeyed. My dream, surprising as it is, wasn't about hockey as I'm sure Charlie's is. Hockey was my dad's idea. My dream was to be an actor. A comical actor.
Later Averman and I were walking to lunch when we passed a crowd of people.
"Hey, Les, Come check it out." Natalie Bronx called to him. Both of us pushed though he group to the table where the brunette sat.
"Look," She said waving a clipboard in front of his face. He snatched it from her and examined it.
"Awesome Nat hand me a pen." He said happily.
"What is it man?" I asked trying to read over his shoulder.
"It's a sign up sheet. Its to hold you spot at an audition for any of the characters of the comical reenactment of Shakespeare's, Hamlet." He informs me handing it over. 'Stuff like this' I thought scribbling my name, 'These are my dreams.' Yea, I do occasionally dream of winning a hockey champion ship on behalf of both my country and my school but, I've done that already. These are the dreams that I've never lived before.
A couple of days later, they herded us all into the auditorium for auditions. I got on stage and I felt something... something good. Sounds faded into the background. Somebody shake me. I must still be dreaming.
This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I've shared
And these are my dreams
That I'd never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping
I sat in the back of the auditorium after my audition waiting for Averman. They didn't say anything about my audition to me but they didn't say anything to any one. Averman and me have to go straight to Hockey practice after this. Now that I'm here trying out a new dream hockey seems so far from the present. Thinking about what I'm doing made me realize that when I fought the team or struggled with my grades to keep playing, it was stupid. I mean why sacrifice things for something your forced to do? Don't get me wrong I don't regret joining the team and making some awesome friends but it just seems hopeless to try and live 2 dreams. All the things, mistakes and whatnot that made me put up with both a lecture from Coach Orion and Charlie weren't worth it. Because now they are going to go, fade away. Hockey is seriously so far away from my thoughts now. I feel a better I know its weird. But I feel more independent; I can do my own thing away from the team I feel like I can do more, better things as well. Instead of holding a grudge against those who have made fun of me and crap, I feel I can forgive them. Not that I wouldn't have anyway because I'm not Ashamed to be me, Gregory Michael Goldberg.
Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we fought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today
Averman and I made our way down to the rink in silence. When we got to the rink Coach was lecturing the team.
"Does it start with a W?" Averman said jokingly. I smiled.
"These are my words for you team, you need to try as hard as you possibly can! Win by incredible amounts, while keeping your dignity." He instructed.
"Like he's never said that before," I heard Charlie whisper to Fulton as I took my place next to him. After 30 minutes into the game, coach stops us again.
"How do you think your doing?" He barked.
"Well, I think I'm doing ok." I said beaming. After practice Me and Les were walking to the dorms when we spotted a throng of people gathered around the bulletin board. Natalie push through the crowd towards us.
"Les, Greg guess what! We made it, all three of us did." She yelped excitedly. I smiled brightly. This is my smile now, I don't think I've ever really fully smiled in front of anyone; this is the one that I've never really shown before. I stood there staring at the girl, now wrapped in a friendly embrace with Averman. I need to be shaken, I Must be sleeping and dreaming this.
These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doing ok
And this is the smile
That I've never shown before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping
Ms LeBlanc gathered us all into a group.
"I think we can all agree now that we are we, That is was naïve for us to think it was so far away." She said Smiling. "Now you realize all the struggle you fought wasn't in vain. A play if Life and All of those mistakes one life contained. Well looking back on it now they've finally gone away." She paused thinking about what to say. She reminded me of Charlie. He always gave us a little talk after a game, sometimes before. I echoed the first part in my head realizing that in the beginning I had thought that whole, 'its so far away thing.'
"You should feel like you can face the day. In fact repeat after me, I can face the day, If my peer makes a mistake I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to the person who I am today. Whether their roll is big or small." Ms. LeBlanc told us. All of us dutifly repeated after her as mumbled as it sounded.
Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we fought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today
It was almost my queue (even though it was also Natalie and Averman's queue) and we stood right to the right of the stage.
"I'm so afraid of wakin please don't shake me." I mumbled softly to myself. Averman glanced up at me. The line that brought us out was said.
"Ya ready man?" He whispered to me. I nodded and the three of us walked out onto the stage but only one thing rang through my head.
"so afraid of wakin please don't shake me."
I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me