OMG I was struggling when I wrote this chapter because I could not decide
how to make Harry be! It was either extremely angry all the time or
depressed. URGLE! But Ok ( :
Harry's POV:
This time I've done it for real. When Cedric died I felt guilty. I felt pretty upset. But now that Sirius is dead I feel this indescribable feeling. Like I'm always sick and dizzy. It hurts to think about it. It hurts not to. It hurts to have no comfort. You know what hurts the most and scares me the most? That it's all turning into uncontrollable blind rage. I didn't admit it to myself at first. It was understandable that I felt depressed, alone, guilty and all of the five stages of grief, whatever they are. But I seem to be lingering on anger this time.
Yeah this time. What a horrible thing to have to say. Oh I have practice in dealing with loosing people. My parents, not that I ever knew them, Cedric and now Sirius. It's bloody unfair and it sucks.
Last time, I was angry, I was really angry. I am remembering now. Now that I have all this time. I don't want any time but I have the whole summer. A whole summer of being ignored and not being allowed to leave the house because it's unsafe. So all the thoughts gang up on me constantly and beat me to a pulp. The anger thing is me wanting to fight back. Fight back at all the unfairness of it. Being depressed isn't an option. I want, no I need, to get back at it some how. At all the evil in the world.
I think I'm going to snap and not even like how I snapped last year when no one would tell me anything. This isn't good. Some people who don't deserve it are going to get hurt.
You know what though? I don't care. I don't fucking care. Really I don't. People always hurt me. It's my turn to hurt now.
A/N: HAHAHA is any one else laughing at that last line? I know I was. It was so dumb that's why. But I wanted to go on a different path because it seems like most fan fics Harry gets all sad and mushy. So I thought why not turn into a mad mad with tons of rage? ROAR!!! Please review and tell me what you thought! I will thank you in the next chapter if you do. Please also tell me who I should have in the next chapter? I'm thinking Snape but it's up to you reading really.
Harry's POV:
This time I've done it for real. When Cedric died I felt guilty. I felt pretty upset. But now that Sirius is dead I feel this indescribable feeling. Like I'm always sick and dizzy. It hurts to think about it. It hurts not to. It hurts to have no comfort. You know what hurts the most and scares me the most? That it's all turning into uncontrollable blind rage. I didn't admit it to myself at first. It was understandable that I felt depressed, alone, guilty and all of the five stages of grief, whatever they are. But I seem to be lingering on anger this time.
Yeah this time. What a horrible thing to have to say. Oh I have practice in dealing with loosing people. My parents, not that I ever knew them, Cedric and now Sirius. It's bloody unfair and it sucks.
Last time, I was angry, I was really angry. I am remembering now. Now that I have all this time. I don't want any time but I have the whole summer. A whole summer of being ignored and not being allowed to leave the house because it's unsafe. So all the thoughts gang up on me constantly and beat me to a pulp. The anger thing is me wanting to fight back. Fight back at all the unfairness of it. Being depressed isn't an option. I want, no I need, to get back at it some how. At all the evil in the world.
I think I'm going to snap and not even like how I snapped last year when no one would tell me anything. This isn't good. Some people who don't deserve it are going to get hurt.
You know what though? I don't care. I don't fucking care. Really I don't. People always hurt me. It's my turn to hurt now.
A/N: HAHAHA is any one else laughing at that last line? I know I was. It was so dumb that's why. But I wanted to go on a different path because it seems like most fan fics Harry gets all sad and mushy. So I thought why not turn into a mad mad with tons of rage? ROAR!!! Please review and tell me what you thought! I will thank you in the next chapter if you do. Please also tell me who I should have in the next chapter? I'm thinking Snape but it's up to you reading really.