Chapter two

Sharing the news

          It was two o'clock in the afternoon when Pacey finally managed it into work the next day. He was three hours late and Brecker was not pleased.

          "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said as he raced through the door, "I was in the Worthington dorms till two thirty this morning and I overslept." The angry look on Brecker's face changed to a grin.

          "And what Witter, were you doing at Worthington in the early hours of this morning?" Before Pacey knew what had happened he was smiling again. He knew Brecker would think he'd been having sex with some beautiful and clever young woman, but he didn't care. The thought that Joey would be in his arms that evening made him grin like The Cheshire Cat. "Name?" Brecker ordered. Pacey pulled on his hat.

          "It's not what you think." Pacey told him, "You'll be disappointed." Brecker gave him a disapproving look.

          "I will never be disappointed by any story that has you in the Worthington dorms until half two in the morning, you coming in late for work and you with that incessant smirk on your face. You were with a girl right?"

          "I was indeed. But no pre-marital relations were had. I simply walked her home and talked to her for a few hours."

          "Talked?"

          "Uh-huh." Pacey nodded. "Her name's Joey. You've met her before; she's an old friend. In fact she's an old girlfriend." Pacey could see from Brecker's expression he had lost interest. Pacey's story consisted of old friends rekindling their flame and spending the night talking. Brecker found it increasingly dull. "I'll get to work shall I?" Pacey asked, but his boss had already moved on to complain about the consistency of that evening's starter soup, his conversation with Pacey forgotten.

          "So, Sunday dinner at Grams's. How am I supposed to act?" Audrey questioned the couple sitting on Joey's bed. Pacey had finished work at nine and went straight to Worthington. For the past hour the three of them had been talking about nothing in particular. Pacey's arm hung loosely over Joey's shoulder and she liked it. It made her feel safe without feeling pressurised, Audrey could see being with Pacey again made her happy. She had never seen her this happy before. Audrey's mention of Sunday dinner was the first time anyone had brought up the subject of how they were supposed to act around the others. Pacey looked at Joey, then he shrugged,

          "We pretend nothing's happened, I guess."  Joey stopped him.

          "No! I know what I said yesterday, but I think it will be better all round if we just tell them. It'll be worse if they think we've lied to them. And they shouldn't be too shocked, I mean we were together for nearly a year before."

          "And we were really serious. So serious no one could actually believe we broke up. I wish we hadn't, I love you so much and we lost so much time." Joey smiled at him shyly; she didn't want him to say such personal things in the company of others.

          "So are we decided?" Audrey asked, and then she put on a real Californian accent, "You two just start like making out and I'll be like, oh yeah Joey and Pacey got back together isn't that like fantastic. And Jen will say 'wow that's fantastic' and then Jack will go, 'congrats Guys' and Grams will like go and do the dishes 'cause she like won't wanna think about what you're like getting up to and Dawson will like congratulate you as wholeheartedly as he can manage and then he will like go up to Joey later when she's alone and say 'that was unexpected' and Joey will like try to make him feel better, while like arguing with herself, that he has no right to say these things to her because he's like sleeping with Jen." Audrey nodded knowingly and Joey forced a laugh. She had Jen, Jack and Grams' reactions down, but Joey was completely uncertain how Dawson would react. She hoped it would be better than Audrey predicted.

          Pacey frowned at Audrey. He didn't want her putting ideas into Joey's head. Pacey knew that her laugh had been false, just like he knew everything about her. He realised that Audrey was joking, but he knew just as much that Dawson might react in the way she had just described. He had no right to at all, but Pacey identified that Dawson might never be able to let go of Joey fully. As much as he loved Jen, there was a part of Dawson that thought Joey was meant to be his. It was that part of Dawson that had broken them up before and Pacey didn't want it to happen again.

          It was ten thirty when Pacey arrived at Worthington on Sunday. Joey was ready for him and Audrey was surprisingly near ready.

          "I'll be ten minutes, Pacey." She cried as she ran into the bathroom to get changed. They had arranged he would pick them up so Joey wouldn't have to face the others without him. They wouldn't think it was anything strange, as Pacey often picked up the girls on his way. They had decided to tell the others during dinner. Pacey just hoped Dawson would be pleased for them. He looked at Joey as she finished applying her lipstick. She was wearing a plain sage-coloured skirt that stopped just above her knees and a khaki top with spaghetti straps. She looked immaculate, but Pacey could see she was shaking underneath it. He took her hand.

          "It's going to be okay, Jo." He smiled. Joey nodded her head.

          "I know, it's just… I wish it was over with."

          "So do I."

          "Ready." Audrey announced as she emerged from the bathroom. She was dressed from head to toe in designers, but Joey in her simple outfit looked comfortable and flawless. Audrey looked loud and messy. Pacey laughed that he could tell so much about their personalities from their dress sense.

          "So Dawson, what's it like?" Jen quizzed him.

          "I liked it." Dawson nodded at his girlfriend, "The people seemed really nice and there are plenty of topics that I wouldn't mind studying."

          "So…" Jen grinned at him.

          "So," He said grinning back, "I think," He turned to look at Grams, "if your attic is still available Grams," He turned back to face Jen, "I would like to move to Boston and go to college here." Jen beamed and then hugged him. Joey could tell from her expression that Jen was thrilled to have Dawson moving to Boston. Joey smiled, a fortnight ago; she would have been just as thrilled. And she was happy; Joey missed Dawson when he wasn't around. But now there was only one person she was delighted to have living in the same city as her. And that was Pacey. He was sitting at the end of the table. Audrey was sitting between them, but the distance and her body didn't stop them exchanging several meaningful looks. Looks that not only Audrey, but Jack as well picked up on. When Pacey offered to carve for Grams and Joey offered to help Jack spoke up.

          "You know guys," He smiled innocently, "If you told us you were back together you could make out in here." There was a stunned silence around the table.

          "Are you?" Jen asked hopefully, she grinned at Pacey's nod. "Congratulations!" she said; hugging Pacey, "I'm so pleased for you."

          "Me too." Said Jack kissing Joey's cheek from where he sat in the next seat.

          "I don't think we want them making out in here." Audrey added with a chuckle, "Not while we're eating."

          "Thank you for your proposal Pacey, but I'll carve and give you a chance to discuss. Oh and congratulations." Grams said as she went into the kitchen.

          "Told ya!" Audrey pointed at Joey triumphantly once Grams had left the room, but Joey was looking at Dawson. And he was looking right back at her. He looked hurt. Joey shook her head.

          "No Dawson. We are not going through this again. Two weeks ago we were supposed to be heading towards a reconciliation, but when you brought Jen back from that trip as more than your friend I didn't make a fuss." Joey's tears flew freely down her cheeks. "You're with Jen now and I will not let you ruin this by getting angry."

          "Joey, I…" Dawson started, but then he appeared to have thought better of it and began again.

          "Congratulations Joey. And Pacey." He added his friend's name as an afterthought, "I hope you are very happy." Joey saw the tears in Dawson's eyes, she stood up and walked around the table to him and they hugged. Neither of them noticed the shocked expressions on their friend's faces.

          "Bye!"

          "Yeah, goodbye."

          "See you tomorrow." The second the door closed behind them, Pacey turned to Joey.

          "We need to talk," he said, "Come back to the boat?" Joey nodded. She wasn't looking forward to the conversation all that much.

          "I'll see you tomorrow Jo?" Audrey asked uncertainly.

          "Sure." Joey nodded, "Are you okay getting home?" Audrey nodded back and headed off in the direction of Worthington College. Joey turned back to where Pacey stood by the car. He held out his hand and she took it gratefully. He helped her into the car and she sighed. "I'm glad that's over." She muttered more to herself than to him.

          "Hmm." Pacey said, quietly agreeing with her.

          "I love you, Pacey." Joey told him as he climbed in the driver's seat. He answered with a response that left Joey rather unsatisfied.

          "I know." He said. "I know." However, she didn't want to talk about the evening's events in the car, so she didn't say anything. Instead, Joey placed her hand over his as it lay on the gear stick. He turned to face her and she smiled.

          "I know you know." She whispered.

          "Well, that evening revealed some skeletons in the closet of Joey and Dawson." Jack commented to Jen as they did the washing up.

          "Hmm." As though she agreed with what he was saying, but at the same time as though she wasn't really listening to him talking.

          "Obviously it's bothering you, or you'd be listening to my every word and defending them."

          "You know, you're really not helping, Jack!" Jen whispered angrily and hit him with the tea towel she was holding. "I'm sure it's nothing, I'm sure Joey didn't mean what it sounded like she meant." Jack looked at his friend, fixatedly drying a wine glass.

          "Jen, you're not even convincing yourself, what's the point? And I think that glass is dry." Jen glared at him and slammed the flute and the towel onto the kitchen counter, almost smashing the glass.

          "I'm going to have a bath." She said adamantly. Jack sighed and stuck his hands back into the bowl of soapy water. He didn't know what Joey had meant by that outburst, but he had a good idea Jen didn't like it very much. He had a feeling Pacey didn't like it very much either, and Jack thought it was a shame Joey had spoilt the evening trying to protect herself from an explosion from Dawson. An explosion that wasn't necessarily going to happen. However, Jack could understand why she had done it. If she and Dawson had been on the way to becoming a couple again then it must have been very disappointing for her to see him suddenly with Jen. Jack also knew Dawson would have been very likely to jump right in and start a shouting match. If fact he had done so two years previously.

          When Pacey and Joey arrived at the dock Joey forgot about the conversation she was dreading having. The ocean looked so beautiful. The Sun had almost set; she could just see the tip of it on the horizon, glowing pink and gold. Pacey parked the car and they both clambered out.

          "Beautiful isn't it?" Pacey whispered softly, Joey nodded.

          "I've never seen it like this before, you should have brought me sooner." As she looked at Pacey she saw an absent look in his eyes. "I guess you have a few questions?" She asked gingerly. Pacey nodded,

          "Yeah Jo, I do. Lets go to the boat."

          He took her hand as they walked along the deck to where the boat sat bobbing on the water. Joey took this as a good sign, if he still wanted to hold her hand then he couldn't be that upset with her declaration at dinnertime. He must still want to be her best friend, her boyfriend, and her true love. As soon as they stepped on to the boat Pacey pulled Joey over to sit on the bench around the small table.

          "Joey," He started, "Were you going to get back together with Dawson?"  Joey didn't know why she was surprised that Pacey had been as forward and blunt. The Pacey she had known as an enemy, a friend and a boyfriend had never run away from the truth. Especially when it came to matters of the heart. Joey hesitated before answering. She and Dawson had been debating getting back together. They had shared several kisses and she was the reason he hadn't gone back to LA. But then his father died, and he went away with Jen for that weekend. And he brought her back as his lover. Nothing would ever happen between Joey and Dawson again, and Joey no longer wanted it to. She knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Pacey. She wanted to live with him, marry him and have children with him. Was there any need to tell him she considered reconciliation with Dawson? She thought to herself. Surely it would only make things more complicated between her and Pacey? Joey sighed. She knew what she had to do.

          "I'm not going to lie to you Pacey. I want us to be together forever and if we start lying after less than a week we're not."

"Just answer the question, Jo?" There was desperation in Pacey's voice and Joey hated to hear it.

"We thought about it yes." She paused and looked into Pacey's eyes. "But…" She tried to continue, but Pacey interrupted.

"So, if Dawson had gone back to LA, or Mitch hadn't died, or Dawson had taken you on that trip instead of Jen, you two would been together." Joey's eyes began to water; she hated to see the hurt look on his face. If only she had told him about Dawson before.

"Pacey, do you remember that party you threw on the boat after Mitch died?" Joey said trying to hold back the tears, "And Dawson turned up really drunk?" Pacey nodded.

"I remember that he upset you, is that why the whole thing was called off?" He looked even more hurt if possible.

"No!" Joey said firmly. "That night Dawson upset me, because he pointed out how I was to blame for his father's death." Pacey looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face. "You see, the reason Mitch died was because he wanted some space after Dawson told him he wasn't going back to LA and he took the car out for milk and he was so angry he was careless." Pacey's expression didn't change.

"What's that got to do with you?" He asked.

"Pacey." Joey took a deep breath. "I was the reason that Dawson didn't go back to LA. He wanted to see if we could work things out. So you see I suppose I was responsible for Mitch's death." Joey sobbed openly now and Pacey didn't hesitate to take her in his arms. "Pacey, I asked him what had happened when they got back from New Hampshire. Dawson told me it hurt him to be around me. That's why he didn't take me away. It's all linked together. But Pace, as much as I still hate myself because Mitch died, I'm so glad that things have worked out this way, that we have another chance. And I just wish that Dawson had got on that plane." Pacey held her tight.

"Don't you ever blame yourself for Mitch's death!" He told her strongly. "Even if he was upset about Dawson's decision he should have known better than to be careless on the road. I just wish you had told me this before Jo. I had no idea you were carrying around so many guilty feelings."

"Does this mean we're okay?" Joey asked nervously. Pacey smiled at her, nodded and kissed her lovingly.