Chapter three
The First Night and The Morning AfterAlthough in reality that night wasn't the first night in any aspect of their relationship except the first night they slept together in over a year, Joey always remembered it as the first night of the rest of their lives.
Pacey led her on to the deck and they sat in the moonlight until the small hours, arms wrapped around each other, kissing and talking about old times and the times to come. Eventually at about three Pacey took Joey's hand and guided her down into the boat. They made love tenderly; then an exhausted Joey fell asleep in Pacey's protective arms. He smiled as he watched her sleeping, and felt her breath against his chest, and then he too nodded off.
The next morning, Joey awoke to find Pacey was not in bed next to her. She stretched out and then made moves as if to begin getting up. She didn't even get to the door before Pacey came bustling in with a cup of hot tea in his hand.
"Get back into bed, Miss Potter. I have brought tea and am in the process of making breakfast." He told her firmly. Joey smiled, and took the tea gratefully, however she made no moves to get back into bed.
"I can't, Pace." She sighed regretfully, "I have a class in half an hour and as it is I won't have time to go home, shower and change first." Joey sipped the tea and smiled again, trust Pacey to remember how she loved a cup of tea first thing in the morning. Audrey would insist on buying her coffee. She deliberately looked away from Pacey as she gathered her belongings, she knew his face would make her want to stay and she couldn't. He walked her to the dock and kissed her goodbye.
"Are you sure you won't stay?" He pleaded one last time.
"Haven't you got to work today, Witter?" Pacey grinned and nodded as he replied,
"Technically, I should have been there ten minutes ago, however, when sex is involved Brecker is surprisingly more lenient with late employees." Joey raised her eyebrows at him.
"One problem, Pace, we haven't had sex for hours, you could have been at work by seven." Pacey looked at her and frowned,
"Weren't you going, Potter?" He said kissing her goodbye once more and disappearing down the steps, shouting as he went, "I may have to embellish for Brecker!" Joey shot him a glaring look, but running in the opposite direction he failed to notice. She decided Pacey would have to be allowed to lie to his boss about how they had just been having sex, because if she chased after him to tell him not to, he probably wouldn't have to lie.
"You're weak, Joey Potter." She told herself firmly as she made her way across the docks.
Jen woke up in her own bed that morning for the first time in a week. She still hadn't spoken to Dawson about the incident at dinner the previous evening. She had gone up to have a bath after talking with Jack and then had proceeded to go straight to bed. She presumed Jack must not have told Dawson that Joey's outburst was bothering her because she knew if Dawson thought there was a problem in their relationship they would have spent half the night analysing it. She dragged herself out of bed and gazed in the mirror. She had streaks of mascara down her face as a consequence of failing to remove her make-up the night before. Her hair was limp at the front, but knotted and sticking out at the back. Jen decided the best thing to do would be to shower and head straight for college grabbing a coffee on the way. She glanced at her clock. It was already nine o'clock, so most likely Dawson would be on his way to college himself. Hopefully, she could slip into the shower with out being accosted and make it on time to her second lecture of the day at ten.
However, Grams thwarted Jen's plans fifteen minutes later. She was waiting outside the bathroom when Jen emerged from the shower looking cleaner and more in control, having established a plan.
"I have been speaking to Jack." Her grandmother said calmly, "He tells me that Joey made a revelation last night concerning the not so distant past between her and Dawson. He also tells me," She continued, "that you are neither content nor confronting the problem. Jennifer, within the next week Dawson will become a permanent fixture in this house. How do you intend to keep avoiding him?" Jen sighed, once Grams had highlighted the obvious, she found she could rarely go back to pretending nothing was wrong, even if Grams resigned herself to keep from interfering further. Suddenly, Jen didn't feel much like school anymore. She wanted to break things off with Dawson. It wasn't the decision Grams had intended to rouse inside her and it would shock the group. But Jennifer Lindley was tired of coming second to Joey; she was beginning to feel too old to be competing for Dawson's heart.
"Sorry I'm late!" Pacey yelled as he rushed threw the kitchen doors. Brecker frowned at him.
"That's twice in a week, Witter! Don't make me have to fire you!"
"I know, I know. But this time I have a good reason." Pacey smirked and raised his eyebrows at Brecker. His boss lowered his voice to a whisper,
"Tell me more." Pacey's smile grew wider; he wasn't going to inform Brecker of the intimate events he had shared with Joey the previous evening, but he was going to tell him enough to get him off the hook. He also lowered his voice,
"Lets just say it involved a beautiful brunette lying nude in my bed, pleading with me not to leave her." Brecker gave him a look of admiration and repentance.
"Sorry, man. After hearing that story, I'm just grateful you came in at all. What happened to the frigid not-so-ex-girlfriend?"
"I never said she was frigid, man." Pacey smiled to himself as he began preparing the specials for the day.
Audrey was bored. She wasn't surprised she was bored, as it was History. But she was still bored. Joey was sitting two rows in front of her drinking in everything Professor Carmichael said and taking more notes than Audrey had taken in her life. The most exciting thing about the lesson so far was Joey entering fifteen minutes late wearing yesterday evening's outfit. Audrey was dying to know what happened between Pacey and Joey the previous night; she was also dying to tell Joey about her night. But she was in History and so instead she was reduced to gazing out the window watching students come and go and daydreaming about James.
James had picked Audrey up the night before as she was walking back to her dorm. It was beautiful night, but Audrey had a lot on her mind. She was sure Joey's revelation would cause friction between not only Joey and Pacey and also Dawson and Jen. James drove up beside her just as she entered the road on which the Worthington entrance was situated.
"Good evening, Gorgeous. What are you doing wandering the streets at night?" He said seductively through the car window. Audrey beamed at the sight of him.
"Hello!" Her smiled faded slightly. "You never called me!"
"I meant to, but this week has been so busy. Hop in and I'll tell you all about it." James gave a convincing smile. Audrey pouted,
"My Daddy always taught me never to get into cars with strangers." She insisted audaciously. James laughed and lent out of the window.
"Lets make it so we're no longer strangers then shall we?" He said as he kissed her passionately on the lips. The rest was history and Audrey had got home a little before eight am, with enough time to take a shower and change her clothes, which was more than could be said for Joey. However, Audrey took Joey's entrance to be a good sign. Either she'd been with Pacey all night or she'd been wandering the streets of Boston, something Audrey knew Joey would never dare to risk.
James settled comfortably down on to the sofa in the living room. Being utterly obsessed with the sexy brunette was proving to be a profitable occupation. The silly, yet voluptuous blonde he now knew as Audrey, had turned out to be a surprisingly good lay. He was tired, but he had had a fun evening and felt that much closer to discovering the identity and the character of the girl who had recently been inhabiting his dreams.
Jen stood outside the door of Lecture Hall 172. She had decided against college that morning and had gone straight to Dawson. This needed to be sorted before she could concentrate. The class had five minutes left and soon students began to pour out of the classroom.
"Dawson!" Jen shouted as Dawson entered the frenzy of hurrying teenagers.
"Hi Jen," He said taking her in his arms at once, "I missed you last night. Shouldn't you been in class?" He looked confused. Jen pushed him away.
"I needed to talk to you… This couldn't wait." She answered his unasked question.
Ten minutes later, the two nineteen-year-olds sat in Starbucks drinking coffee. With every sip Jen became more certain about what she had to do.
"Dawson, I have some things to say and you have to promise to listen before jumping in?" She posed the statement as a question and waited for Dawson's bewildered nod. "I was hurt by what Joey said last night about the two of you. I felt used. I felt second best. Then I realised that that feeling is never going to go away. However happy Pacey makes Joey and however happy I make you, somewhere deep inside of me I'll still feel like you're only with me because Joey moved on." She stopped and looked at him, waiting for a response.
"Jen," He began, "I… I don't know where to start. I don't think of you as second best in any aspect of my life. Two weeks ago I felt very differently. When my father died Joey reminded me of all the things I was missing now that he was gone and that if it wasn't for the fact that I thought I was in love with her he would still be here. In a strange way I blamed her for his death, but in reality it was me I really blamed and she emphasised my guilt. I didn't use you to forget it and I didn't sleep with you because she wouldn't. The truth is she probably would have at that point if I'd asked her." Jen's stared into her coffee mug. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you and I don't even know how much of this is making sense. I found I couldn't be around her any longer and then I realised that nothing could ever happen between us again, because even if I got over these feelings, if I ever got too close to her they'd come rushing back and tear us and me apart. Then you came along and you helped me to grieve and to remember my father in the way he would have wanted me to remember him, you helped me to come to terms with my guilt and I realised that I loved you." Dawson sighed and looked at Jen hopefully. "I love you."
"Dawson, you have to understand how this makes me feel. Something happens to make you think you and Joey can never be lovers and so you turn to the next best thing. Your other childhood girlfriend."
"But it wasn't like that!" Dawson protested.
"Maybe not intentionally, but I think somewhere in your heart you see me as a substitute for when Joey is unavailable. Even back when we were fifteen you went out with me because you couldn't distinguish your true feelings for Joey."
"That isn't fair. I didn't even think about Joey like that until I found she liked me. I was totally infatuated with you."
"But she was round every corner and she still is now, almost six years later. I can't do this anymore. I love you Dawson…."
"I love you too," he interrupted.
"But…."
"No buts. Please?" He was begging now and he knew it, but he loved Jen and of that he was more certain than anything. "Please don't do this."
"But, I can't be with you. I can't constantly be comparing myself to Joey for the rest of my life. I can't sit and analyse the things you do or say for evidence that you still love Joey. I can't be your girlfriend and I don't know if I can not be your girlfriend. I need some space." And with that Jen pushed back her chair, wiped the tears from her eyes, walked out of the café and out of Dawson's life.
Blissfully unaware of the trouble she was causing for her friends, Joey headed out of History with a dreamy smile on her face.
"Hey Sexkitten! Wait for me!" She heard Audrey call from behind her and she stopped to wait for her friend.
"I have to take a shower before English, Audrey." She told her when the blonde had caught up. Audrey smiled and sniffed her mischievously,
"I should think so, you stink of Pacey!" Joey laughed; she didn't even attempt to hide her happiness. It shone out of her eyes. "So you guys are fine?" Audrey continued and squealed at her friend's shy nod.
By the time the girls had reached their room Joey knew all about James, where he had taken her and how fantastic he was, and Audrey was begging for details on her night with Pacey.
"I'm not telling you anything, Audrey. It's private." Audrey gave Joey a knowing look.
"He'll have told Brecker. And I did tell you everything." She whined.
"Like I wanted to know. If you volunteer information you can't expect an automatic return." Joey laughed at her.
"But…" Audrey struggled.
"But what?" Joey chuckled as she headed into the bathroom.