[Two Weeks in a Mini-Van] by SmashFan21
Disclaimer: I don't own SSB:M and whatever van they're in. I'm too lazy to look back. I am working on owning Nintendo yet again, so fear not!
{A/N: The last chapter was pretty stupid. Now I'm going to try much harder!}
Chapter 7: The Things Coffee can do to People...
[Night 3]
MH: Ok, it's time that somebody got voted off. Wait, where's Luigi?
Noises can be heard from the trunk.
MH: (opens the trunk)
Psychiatrist: Tell me exactly what the problem is.
Luigi: He just keeps beating me...(sniffle)...It's no fair! People keep distracting me! WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
MH: What the-oh forget it! (kills Psychiatrist)
Luigi: Hey, that's not supposed to happen!
MH: Yes it is. Now then, let's vote. There are no immunities. We'll go in the same order we did last time.
Samus: I vote off Roy because he flirts way too much.
Roy: I vote off Y. Link because his big words confuse us all.
Luigi: I vote off Mario for being a (many censored words)!
Mario: I vote off Luigi because he's a cry baby and a potty mouth.
Ness: I vote off Y. Link, as there should only be one genius here.
Y. Link: I vote for Ness because I'm smarter.
MH: You lose Y. Link!
Y. Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
MH: (knocks Y. Link into oblivion) Okay everyone, get a good night's sleep.
[Really early in the morning 4]
[5:30 A.M.]
MH: Wake up everyone!
All: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
MH: WAKE UP!!!
All: ZZZZZZZZZZZ...
MH: WAKE UP OR I WILL KILL YOU AND SEND YOU ALL TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!
All: Ok, we're up!
MH: It's time for the next challenge. The first person to finish drinking their 5 gallon bottle of coffee wins. But it's not just any coffee! It's a super super mocha latte cappuccino with a double shot of chocolate mint fudge! The cups are over there! GO!
The Smash Bros. start drinking. Samus is winning, as she has experience in this type of thing.
(FLASHBACK)
Zelda: Hey Samus, I dare you to drink this whole pool filled with super super mocha latte cappuccino with a double shot of chocolate mint fudge.
Samus: Ok!
(Half an hour later)
Zelda: Wow, I never knew anyone can drink that much coffee in such a small time!
Samus: SHFGKUGSIFF&TRETEFEHFJKDFUFIEWF&IGYUEWFBHEFIGIEGBFIGBERBEIRGIEHGRIHEWRBH BWKRBEBRKJEVBFKJUVEFVLIWGLI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zelda: What the crap.
(Big explosion)
(END FLASHBACK)
Then, Mario gets an idea. While drinking, he writes Luigi a not that says: "I-a win!". He hands it to him and Luigi faints, knocking him out of the game. Meanwhile, Ness is running out of strength, but is still going. Then, everyone finishes.
MH: Okay, the times are:
Samus: 1 minute, 7 seconds Roy: 7 minutes, .5 seconds Mario: 10 minutes, 9.5 seconds Ness: 18 minutes, 9.9 seconds Luigi: FAINTED
MH: Samus wins immunity again!
Samus: AIJGHDUIGFIGHREIFUKGHEUFGHERUYGHERKYGEUFYG!!!!!!!!
Ness: YEAH BABY HIHIHIHIHIHIIIIIIII!!!!
Mario: Let's-a do the Chicken Dance! (starts to disco)
Luigi: I think it's a good-a thing I-a fainted.
Roy: NEED... WOMEN!!!!!!!!
(Roy's P.O.V.)
Some hot woman (Ness): YEAH BABY HIHIHIHIHIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!
Some other hot woman (Mario): STAYIN' ALIVE, STAYIN' ALIVE!
That one hot woman in the corner reading this (Samus): SJIFHDGUYKGEUYGEFGEG! (kills some random guy who happened to be there).
Dead hot woman (Bowser): ARGH!!!!!
Hot woman #4 (Link): WHOOO HOOOOO!!! It wasn't me who killed somebody this time! (swings his sword around in victory, accidentally cutting off someone's head)
Headless hot woman (Marth): OUCH!
Hot woman #4 (Link): Oops! (takes the bodies into the basement to put them there with Mr. Game & Watch, Ice Climbers, Kirby, and Young Link)
{A/N: Seasoned fans of TWIAM-V will remember why G&W and Ice Climbers are in there.}
(Normal P.O.V.)
MH: Oh crap. I'm afraid to put them back in the van.
SmashFan21: I have the answer! COFFEE BE-GONE! For the small price of $924578493659823465832658325687.99!
MH: HOW ABOUT 'NO' YOU CRAZY BASTARD!
Yami Bakura: Muahahahahah! (steals the Coffee Be-Gone) Now you will have to duel to get it back.
SmashFan21: But...I don't want to duel...
Yami Bakura: TOO BAD! (puts all the souls of everyone but Ness into SmashFan21's deck) Now more is at steak than your cheap product!
Ness: Hey, I'm sober!
Yami Bakura: Now then, let's duel! You can go first because you suck!
SmashFan21: Shut up! Okay then, let's see... I draw now!
SmashFan21's hand: Battle Ox, Mystical Elf, Summoned Skull, Mountain, Lord of D., Neo the Magic Swordsman
SmashFan21: I summon Neo the Magic Swordsman!
Roy appears dressed in Neo's clothing.
Roy: What the crap? Where am I?
SmashFan21: You're in a duel. You're a card. It's stupid I know, but just go along with it.
Roy: A smaller version of you isn't going to appear, is it?
SmashFan21: Hopefully not. Anyway, it's your turn Bakura.
Yami Bakura(now Yami for short): Fine then. I draw...
Yami's hand: The Portrait's Secret, Change of Heart, Thunder Dragon, White Magical Hat, Hane-Hane, Twin-Headed Thunder Dragon
Yami: Now I summon a monster in face down defense position! Then I activate CHANGE OF HEART!
SmashFan21: That's bad, right?
Yami: Very. Now, I will take control of Neo the Magic Swordsman!
Roy: That's bad ri- ARGH!!! (moves over to Yami's side of the field)
Yami: Now, attack his life points directly my puppet!
Roy: BLARGH!!!!!!!! (attacks)
SmashFan21: That's bad!
(weird noise to signify lose of life points)
Yami's LP: 4000 SmashFan21's LP: 2300
Ness: Wow, you suck at this game.
SmashFan21: SHUT UP NESS!
Yami: I end my turn!
SmashFan21: I get Roy back now, right?
Yami: Yes.
Roy: WOO HOO!
SmashFan21: Okay, I draw...
SmashFan21's hand: Battle Ox, Mystical Elf, Summoned Skull, Mountain, Lord of D., Gemini Elf
SmashFan21: Okay, now I summon Gemini Elf!
Yami: (monotone voice) Oh no whatever will I do.
SmashFan21: Yeah, I can tell you're scared!
Zelda and Samus appear.
Zelda: What the crap?
Samus: Hey, why am I sober? And better yet, what the fuck is this?
SmashFan21: Well, you guys all got high on coffee, and I came with a cool product to help, but then Yami Bakura stole it and made us duel and put all your souls into the cards. So, to make a long story short-
Zelda: Too late.
SmashFan21: -you guys are monsters in a duel.
Samus: COOL! CAN I KILL HIS GUY???
SmashFan21: Huh? Oh sure, go ahead. Gemini Elf, attack the face down monster!
Samus: WOO HOO! (charge at it with Zelda and they destroy it)
Yami: You've activated Hane-Hane's special ability! I can now return a monster from on the field to your hand! I choose Neo the Magic Swordsman!
Roy: That's bad, ri-(disappears)
SmashFan21: You suck. I end my turn.
Yami: You can't win! I draw...
Yami's hand: The Portrait's Secret, Thunder Dragon, White Magical Hat, Twin- Headed Thunder Dragon, Mirror Force
Yami: Okay, I lay a card face down and summon The Portrait's Secret in attack mode. Now I end my turn!
Ness: I take it back, YOU suck at this game Bakura!
Zelda: Yeah. I mean, he's easy to beat in all the games!
SmashFan21: Shut up! I'm the one dueling here! I draw...
SmashFan21's hand: Battle Ox, Mystical Elf, Summoned Skull, Mountain, Lord of D., Neo the Magic Swordsman, The Bistro Butcher
SmashFan21: Now I summon The Bistro Butcher, in attack mode.
Gannondorf appears.
Gannondorf: WHAT THE FUCK! THEY WERE JUST ABOUT TO REVEAL WHO THE MOLE IS!!!
SmashFan21: Listen dude, basically, you're my monster in some weird duel, ok?
Gannondorf: Works for me. Should I kill his guy?
SmashFan21: Oh sure, why not?
Gannondorf: YAY! (attacks the monster, but then Mirror Force activates)
SmashFan21: That's bad, right?
Yami: Very bad. All your monsters that are in attack mode are sent to the graveyard.
SmashFan21: Can you say that again in English, for all of us who don't speak Yu-Gi-Oh!?
Yami: All your monsters that were going to try and kill me die.
SmashFan21: Oh. That sucks.
Samus, Zelda, and Gannondorf disappear.
Yami: And while they are in the graveyard, the Reaper of the Cards will be chasing them, trying to devour their SOULS!!!
Ness: English!
Yami: Some really creepy guy is chasing them trying to make them dead forever.
Ness: Wow, that sucks.
SmashFan21 SHUT UP NESS!
Ness: =p
Yami: Hurry up!
SmashFan21: I end my fucking turn, dumbass!
Yami: All right, no need to swear! I draw...
Yami's hand: Thunder Dragon, White Magical Hat, Twin-Headed Thunder Dragon, Dark Elf
Yami: Time to die! I summon Dark Elf! Now, at the price of a thousand life points, I attack you with 2000 points of damage!
Ness: Wow, that REALLY sucks!
SmashFan21: SHUT THE FUCK UP NESS!!!
(weird noise to signify lose of life points)
Yami's LP: 3000 SmashFan21's LP: 300
Yami: I can't lose!
SmashFan21: Shut up! I draw...
SmashFan21's hand: Battle Ox, Mystical Elf, Summoned Skull, Mountain, Lord of D., Neo the Magic Swordsman, Battle Footballer
SmashFan21: Okay, I play a face down defense mode...person.
Yami: Monster.
SmashFan21: WHO CARES!? JUST GO!
Yami: Fine. I draw...
Yami's hand: Thunder Dragon, White Magical Hat, Twin-Headed Thunder Dragon, Dark Elf, Spirit of the Harp
Yami: Dark Elf, attack!
(you know the deal)
SmashFan21: Okay, you lose 100 life points because be defense is higher than you attack. WHAT NOW!?!?!?!?!
Yami: Shut up.
SmashFan21: Hey, your guy dies, too! WOO HOO!
Yami's LP: 2000 SmashFan21's LP: 300
SmashFan21: (thinking) I really don't want to summon another monster, because it'll make this story even longer than it already is. Let's hope for a power-up card or something. God I hate this game. (talking) Okay, I draw...
SmashFan21's hand: Battle Ox, Mystical Elf, Summoned Skull, Mountain, Lord of D., Neo the Magic Swordsman, Reinforcements
SmashFan21: Okay, I activate Reinforcements and attack your life points directly!
Yami: I hate you.
Yami's LP: 500 SmashFan21's LP: 300
Yami: Okay, now I draw...
Yami: MUAHAHAHAHAAH!!! I've drawn the ultimate card! NOW YOU'RE FINISHED!
SmashFan21: For some reason, I'm not scared. (rolls eyes)
Yami: I play: WRITERS BLOCK!!!!!
SmashFan21: WHAT!!!!!
A computer appears, but then spikes come out of the keys and little turrets come out of the sides.
SmashFan21: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! My nightmare's manifested themselves into flesh!
Ness: Actually, it's a card.
SmashFan21: HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO SHUT UP!!!!
Yami: You're finished!
SmashFan21: Actually, no. Now I'm just going to make your head explode using my author powers I stupidly forgot about, and could've made this fiction much shorter.
Yami: That sucks. (head explodes)
Then, all the people came out of the deck.
Surprising, among the living were: Marth, Bowser, Young Link, Kirby, Ice Climbers, and Mr. Game & Watch.
Link: UM... THERE ARE NO WITNESSES! (runs away)
MH: Congrats, you saved us, or something.
SmashFan21: WOO HOO! I ROCK!!! (takes out a pair of pistols from nowhere and starts shooting them, and accidentally hits some guy who was in the apartments across the street)
Guy: ARGH!!!
SmashFan21: UM...THERE ARE NO WITNESSES! (erases everyone's mind and runs away)
MH: Thank GOD. Now then, get back in the car. NOW!
[Day 4]
Roy: (staring at Luigi)
Luigi: (staring at Roy)
Mario: (whispering to Luigi) I-a win!
Luigi: ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (blinks)
Roy: I win!
Luigi: RAGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (takes out shotgun from nowhere and shoots MH, who was just walking in)
Samus: Hey, let's go steal all his money!
Crazy Hand (CH for short): SoRrY. I hAvE tO rEpLaCe HiM.
Ness: ARGH! THE TEXT!!! I CAN'T READ THE FRIGGIN TEXT!!! (blows up CH using the powers of his mind)
Roy: Okay, NOW let's steal the money!
Mysterious Voice (MV): Sorry, I'm the host now.
Roy: Okay, but step out of the shadows first, because I refuse to be hosted by 'Mysterious Voice'.
Seto Kaiba (Kaiba for short): I am!
All: (groan)
Kaiba: (huge evil voice that would scare anyone) WHAT WAS THAT, MAGGOTS!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
All: YAY WE GET KAIBA AS OUR HOST!!!!
Kaiba: (normal, calm expression (how does he do it)) That's what I thought. Now then, it's time to see who gets the (huge, echoing voice) SECOND IMMUNITY!!!
All: Gasp! (they said gasp, they didn't actually gasp)
Kaiba: You'd better be surprised! Anyway, this will be a Duel Mon-(checks script)-Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament, best two out of three. Here are the matches!
Roy VS. Ness Samus VS. Mario Luigi goes on to face winner of Samus VS. Mario.
Roy VS. Ness: FIGHT!
Roy: I will win, because I'm cooler.
Ness: I will win because I'm psychic.
Roy: That sucks.
Match I: Roy= Paper, Ness=Scissors Match II: Roy= Rock, Ness=Paper
Kaiba: Ness goes on!
Samus VS. Mario: FIGHT!
Samus: Hi Mario!
Mario: Hi-a Samus!
Match I: Samus=Rock, Mario=Scissors Match II: Samus=Rock, Mario=Scissors
Kaiba: Samus goes on!
Samus VS. Luigi
Samus: (tries to sound like Mario) I-a win!
Luigi: Sorry, but...
(Mentos theme starts to play)
Kaiba makes the Mentos theme disappear.
Kaiba: WE GET IT! JUST PLAY!
Match I: Samus=Rock, Luigi=Scissors Match II: Samus=Paper, Luigi=Scissors Tie Break: Samus=Rock, Luigi=Paper
Kaiba: ROUND 3!
Roy VS. Luigi
Match I: Roy=Paper, Luigi=Scissors Match II: Roy=Scissors, Luigi=Rock
Kaiba: Final ROUND!
To make a long story short, Luigi won.
[Night 4]
Kaiba: All right. It's time to vote somebody off. I'll tell you now, though. Nobody else will be voted off until [Night 7]. So choose carefully. But don't choose Luigi or Samus.
Samus: I vote Mario because he the "I-a win!" thing is old and annoying.
Roy: I vote Mario because I think everyone else will.
Mario: I vote Roy because he thinks everyone will vote for me.
Luigi: I vote Mario because I hate him.
Ness: I vote Mario because I want to seem cooler.
Kaiba: Sorry Mario! PENALTY GAME!!!!
Mario: AHHHHHHHH!!! (Mario's soul gets devoured by 3 hungry Blue-Eyes White Dragons)
Kaiba: (gets rid of the body in the basement) Right, I'll see you tomorrow.
R&R! Game ideas wanted!
Disclaimer: I don't own SSB:M and whatever van they're in. I'm too lazy to look back. I am working on owning Nintendo yet again, so fear not!
{A/N: The last chapter was pretty stupid. Now I'm going to try much harder!}
Chapter 7: The Things Coffee can do to People...
[Night 3]
MH: Ok, it's time that somebody got voted off. Wait, where's Luigi?
Noises can be heard from the trunk.
MH: (opens the trunk)
Psychiatrist: Tell me exactly what the problem is.
Luigi: He just keeps beating me...(sniffle)...It's no fair! People keep distracting me! WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
MH: What the-oh forget it! (kills Psychiatrist)
Luigi: Hey, that's not supposed to happen!
MH: Yes it is. Now then, let's vote. There are no immunities. We'll go in the same order we did last time.
Samus: I vote off Roy because he flirts way too much.
Roy: I vote off Y. Link because his big words confuse us all.
Luigi: I vote off Mario for being a (many censored words)!
Mario: I vote off Luigi because he's a cry baby and a potty mouth.
Ness: I vote off Y. Link, as there should only be one genius here.
Y. Link: I vote for Ness because I'm smarter.
MH: You lose Y. Link!
Y. Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
MH: (knocks Y. Link into oblivion) Okay everyone, get a good night's sleep.
[Really early in the morning 4]
[5:30 A.M.]
MH: Wake up everyone!
All: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
MH: WAKE UP!!!
All: ZZZZZZZZZZZ...
MH: WAKE UP OR I WILL KILL YOU AND SEND YOU ALL TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!
All: Ok, we're up!
MH: It's time for the next challenge. The first person to finish drinking their 5 gallon bottle of coffee wins. But it's not just any coffee! It's a super super mocha latte cappuccino with a double shot of chocolate mint fudge! The cups are over there! GO!
The Smash Bros. start drinking. Samus is winning, as she has experience in this type of thing.
(FLASHBACK)
Zelda: Hey Samus, I dare you to drink this whole pool filled with super super mocha latte cappuccino with a double shot of chocolate mint fudge.
Samus: Ok!
(Half an hour later)
Zelda: Wow, I never knew anyone can drink that much coffee in such a small time!
Samus: SHFGKUGSIFF&TRETEFEHFJKDFUFIEWF&IGYUEWFBHEFIGIEGBFIGBERBEIRGIEHGRIHEWRBH BWKRBEBRKJEVBFKJUVEFVLIWGLI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zelda: What the crap.
(Big explosion)
(END FLASHBACK)
Then, Mario gets an idea. While drinking, he writes Luigi a not that says: "I-a win!". He hands it to him and Luigi faints, knocking him out of the game. Meanwhile, Ness is running out of strength, but is still going. Then, everyone finishes.
MH: Okay, the times are:
Samus: 1 minute, 7 seconds Roy: 7 minutes, .5 seconds Mario: 10 minutes, 9.5 seconds Ness: 18 minutes, 9.9 seconds Luigi: FAINTED
MH: Samus wins immunity again!
Samus: AIJGHDUIGFIGHREIFUKGHEUFGHERUYGHERKYGEUFYG!!!!!!!!
Ness: YEAH BABY HIHIHIHIHIHIIIIIIII!!!!
Mario: Let's-a do the Chicken Dance! (starts to disco)
Luigi: I think it's a good-a thing I-a fainted.
Roy: NEED... WOMEN!!!!!!!!
(Roy's P.O.V.)
Some hot woman (Ness): YEAH BABY HIHIHIHIHIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!
Some other hot woman (Mario): STAYIN' ALIVE, STAYIN' ALIVE!
That one hot woman in the corner reading this (Samus): SJIFHDGUYKGEUYGEFGEG! (kills some random guy who happened to be there).
Dead hot woman (Bowser): ARGH!!!!!
Hot woman #4 (Link): WHOOO HOOOOO!!! It wasn't me who killed somebody this time! (swings his sword around in victory, accidentally cutting off someone's head)
Headless hot woman (Marth): OUCH!
Hot woman #4 (Link): Oops! (takes the bodies into the basement to put them there with Mr. Game & Watch, Ice Climbers, Kirby, and Young Link)
{A/N: Seasoned fans of TWIAM-V will remember why G&W and Ice Climbers are in there.}
(Normal P.O.V.)
MH: Oh crap. I'm afraid to put them back in the van.
SmashFan21: I have the answer! COFFEE BE-GONE! For the small price of $924578493659823465832658325687.99!
MH: HOW ABOUT 'NO' YOU CRAZY BASTARD!
Yami Bakura: Muahahahahah! (steals the Coffee Be-Gone) Now you will have to duel to get it back.
SmashFan21: But...I don't want to duel...
Yami Bakura: TOO BAD! (puts all the souls of everyone but Ness into SmashFan21's deck) Now more is at steak than your cheap product!
Ness: Hey, I'm sober!
Yami Bakura: Now then, let's duel! You can go first because you suck!
SmashFan21: Shut up! Okay then, let's see... I draw now!
SmashFan21's hand: Battle Ox, Mystical Elf, Summoned Skull, Mountain, Lord of D., Neo the Magic Swordsman
SmashFan21: I summon Neo the Magic Swordsman!
Roy appears dressed in Neo's clothing.
Roy: What the crap? Where am I?
SmashFan21: You're in a duel. You're a card. It's stupid I know, but just go along with it.
Roy: A smaller version of you isn't going to appear, is it?
SmashFan21: Hopefully not. Anyway, it's your turn Bakura.
Yami Bakura(now Yami for short): Fine then. I draw...
Yami's hand: The Portrait's Secret, Change of Heart, Thunder Dragon, White Magical Hat, Hane-Hane, Twin-Headed Thunder Dragon
Yami: Now I summon a monster in face down defense position! Then I activate CHANGE OF HEART!
SmashFan21: That's bad, right?
Yami: Very. Now, I will take control of Neo the Magic Swordsman!
Roy: That's bad ri- ARGH!!! (moves over to Yami's side of the field)
Yami: Now, attack his life points directly my puppet!
Roy: BLARGH!!!!!!!! (attacks)
SmashFan21: That's bad!
(weird noise to signify lose of life points)
Yami's LP: 4000 SmashFan21's LP: 2300
Ness: Wow, you suck at this game.
SmashFan21: SHUT UP NESS!
Yami: I end my turn!
SmashFan21: I get Roy back now, right?
Yami: Yes.
Roy: WOO HOO!
SmashFan21: Okay, I draw...
SmashFan21's hand: Battle Ox, Mystical Elf, Summoned Skull, Mountain, Lord of D., Gemini Elf
SmashFan21: Okay, now I summon Gemini Elf!
Yami: (monotone voice) Oh no whatever will I do.
SmashFan21: Yeah, I can tell you're scared!
Zelda and Samus appear.
Zelda: What the crap?
Samus: Hey, why am I sober? And better yet, what the fuck is this?
SmashFan21: Well, you guys all got high on coffee, and I came with a cool product to help, but then Yami Bakura stole it and made us duel and put all your souls into the cards. So, to make a long story short-
Zelda: Too late.
SmashFan21: -you guys are monsters in a duel.
Samus: COOL! CAN I KILL HIS GUY???
SmashFan21: Huh? Oh sure, go ahead. Gemini Elf, attack the face down monster!
Samus: WOO HOO! (charge at it with Zelda and they destroy it)
Yami: You've activated Hane-Hane's special ability! I can now return a monster from on the field to your hand! I choose Neo the Magic Swordsman!
Roy: That's bad, ri-(disappears)
SmashFan21: You suck. I end my turn.
Yami: You can't win! I draw...
Yami's hand: The Portrait's Secret, Thunder Dragon, White Magical Hat, Twin- Headed Thunder Dragon, Mirror Force
Yami: Okay, I lay a card face down and summon The Portrait's Secret in attack mode. Now I end my turn!
Ness: I take it back, YOU suck at this game Bakura!
Zelda: Yeah. I mean, he's easy to beat in all the games!
SmashFan21: Shut up! I'm the one dueling here! I draw...
SmashFan21's hand: Battle Ox, Mystical Elf, Summoned Skull, Mountain, Lord of D., Neo the Magic Swordsman, The Bistro Butcher
SmashFan21: Now I summon The Bistro Butcher, in attack mode.
Gannondorf appears.
Gannondorf: WHAT THE FUCK! THEY WERE JUST ABOUT TO REVEAL WHO THE MOLE IS!!!
SmashFan21: Listen dude, basically, you're my monster in some weird duel, ok?
Gannondorf: Works for me. Should I kill his guy?
SmashFan21: Oh sure, why not?
Gannondorf: YAY! (attacks the monster, but then Mirror Force activates)
SmashFan21: That's bad, right?
Yami: Very bad. All your monsters that are in attack mode are sent to the graveyard.
SmashFan21: Can you say that again in English, for all of us who don't speak Yu-Gi-Oh!?
Yami: All your monsters that were going to try and kill me die.
SmashFan21: Oh. That sucks.
Samus, Zelda, and Gannondorf disappear.
Yami: And while they are in the graveyard, the Reaper of the Cards will be chasing them, trying to devour their SOULS!!!
Ness: English!
Yami: Some really creepy guy is chasing them trying to make them dead forever.
Ness: Wow, that sucks.
SmashFan21 SHUT UP NESS!
Ness: =p
Yami: Hurry up!
SmashFan21: I end my fucking turn, dumbass!
Yami: All right, no need to swear! I draw...
Yami's hand: Thunder Dragon, White Magical Hat, Twin-Headed Thunder Dragon, Dark Elf
Yami: Time to die! I summon Dark Elf! Now, at the price of a thousand life points, I attack you with 2000 points of damage!
Ness: Wow, that REALLY sucks!
SmashFan21: SHUT THE FUCK UP NESS!!!
(weird noise to signify lose of life points)
Yami's LP: 3000 SmashFan21's LP: 300
Yami: I can't lose!
SmashFan21: Shut up! I draw...
SmashFan21's hand: Battle Ox, Mystical Elf, Summoned Skull, Mountain, Lord of D., Neo the Magic Swordsman, Battle Footballer
SmashFan21: Okay, I play a face down defense mode...person.
Yami: Monster.
SmashFan21: WHO CARES!? JUST GO!
Yami: Fine. I draw...
Yami's hand: Thunder Dragon, White Magical Hat, Twin-Headed Thunder Dragon, Dark Elf, Spirit of the Harp
Yami: Dark Elf, attack!
(you know the deal)
SmashFan21: Okay, you lose 100 life points because be defense is higher than you attack. WHAT NOW!?!?!?!?!
Yami: Shut up.
SmashFan21: Hey, your guy dies, too! WOO HOO!
Yami's LP: 2000 SmashFan21's LP: 300
SmashFan21: (thinking) I really don't want to summon another monster, because it'll make this story even longer than it already is. Let's hope for a power-up card or something. God I hate this game. (talking) Okay, I draw...
SmashFan21's hand: Battle Ox, Mystical Elf, Summoned Skull, Mountain, Lord of D., Neo the Magic Swordsman, Reinforcements
SmashFan21: Okay, I activate Reinforcements and attack your life points directly!
Yami: I hate you.
Yami's LP: 500 SmashFan21's LP: 300
Yami: Okay, now I draw...
Yami: MUAHAHAHAHAAH!!! I've drawn the ultimate card! NOW YOU'RE FINISHED!
SmashFan21: For some reason, I'm not scared. (rolls eyes)
Yami: I play: WRITERS BLOCK!!!!!
SmashFan21: WHAT!!!!!
A computer appears, but then spikes come out of the keys and little turrets come out of the sides.
SmashFan21: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! My nightmare's manifested themselves into flesh!
Ness: Actually, it's a card.
SmashFan21: HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO SHUT UP!!!!
Yami: You're finished!
SmashFan21: Actually, no. Now I'm just going to make your head explode using my author powers I stupidly forgot about, and could've made this fiction much shorter.
Yami: That sucks. (head explodes)
Then, all the people came out of the deck.
Surprising, among the living were: Marth, Bowser, Young Link, Kirby, Ice Climbers, and Mr. Game & Watch.
Link: UM... THERE ARE NO WITNESSES! (runs away)
MH: Congrats, you saved us, or something.
SmashFan21: WOO HOO! I ROCK!!! (takes out a pair of pistols from nowhere and starts shooting them, and accidentally hits some guy who was in the apartments across the street)
Guy: ARGH!!!
SmashFan21: UM...THERE ARE NO WITNESSES! (erases everyone's mind and runs away)
MH: Thank GOD. Now then, get back in the car. NOW!
[Day 4]
Roy: (staring at Luigi)
Luigi: (staring at Roy)
Mario: (whispering to Luigi) I-a win!
Luigi: ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (blinks)
Roy: I win!
Luigi: RAGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (takes out shotgun from nowhere and shoots MH, who was just walking in)
Samus: Hey, let's go steal all his money!
Crazy Hand (CH for short): SoRrY. I hAvE tO rEpLaCe HiM.
Ness: ARGH! THE TEXT!!! I CAN'T READ THE FRIGGIN TEXT!!! (blows up CH using the powers of his mind)
Roy: Okay, NOW let's steal the money!
Mysterious Voice (MV): Sorry, I'm the host now.
Roy: Okay, but step out of the shadows first, because I refuse to be hosted by 'Mysterious Voice'.
Seto Kaiba (Kaiba for short): I am!
All: (groan)
Kaiba: (huge evil voice that would scare anyone) WHAT WAS THAT, MAGGOTS!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
All: YAY WE GET KAIBA AS OUR HOST!!!!
Kaiba: (normal, calm expression (how does he do it)) That's what I thought. Now then, it's time to see who gets the (huge, echoing voice) SECOND IMMUNITY!!!
All: Gasp! (they said gasp, they didn't actually gasp)
Kaiba: You'd better be surprised! Anyway, this will be a Duel Mon-(checks script)-Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament, best two out of three. Here are the matches!
Roy VS. Ness Samus VS. Mario Luigi goes on to face winner of Samus VS. Mario.
Roy VS. Ness: FIGHT!
Roy: I will win, because I'm cooler.
Ness: I will win because I'm psychic.
Roy: That sucks.
Match I: Roy= Paper, Ness=Scissors Match II: Roy= Rock, Ness=Paper
Kaiba: Ness goes on!
Samus VS. Mario: FIGHT!
Samus: Hi Mario!
Mario: Hi-a Samus!
Match I: Samus=Rock, Mario=Scissors Match II: Samus=Rock, Mario=Scissors
Kaiba: Samus goes on!
Samus VS. Luigi
Samus: (tries to sound like Mario) I-a win!
Luigi: Sorry, but...
(Mentos theme starts to play)
Kaiba makes the Mentos theme disappear.
Kaiba: WE GET IT! JUST PLAY!
Match I: Samus=Rock, Luigi=Scissors Match II: Samus=Paper, Luigi=Scissors Tie Break: Samus=Rock, Luigi=Paper
Kaiba: ROUND 3!
Roy VS. Luigi
Match I: Roy=Paper, Luigi=Scissors Match II: Roy=Scissors, Luigi=Rock
Kaiba: Final ROUND!
To make a long story short, Luigi won.
[Night 4]
Kaiba: All right. It's time to vote somebody off. I'll tell you now, though. Nobody else will be voted off until [Night 7]. So choose carefully. But don't choose Luigi or Samus.
Samus: I vote Mario because he the "I-a win!" thing is old and annoying.
Roy: I vote Mario because I think everyone else will.
Mario: I vote Roy because he thinks everyone will vote for me.
Luigi: I vote Mario because I hate him.
Ness: I vote Mario because I want to seem cooler.
Kaiba: Sorry Mario! PENALTY GAME!!!!
Mario: AHHHHHHHH!!! (Mario's soul gets devoured by 3 hungry Blue-Eyes White Dragons)
Kaiba: (gets rid of the body in the basement) Right, I'll see you tomorrow.
R&R! Game ideas wanted!