Chapter 1
Harry Potter, the Future Stuck-Up Idiot
Dear Diary,
Yet another day of being made fun of by that stuck-up idiotic popular James Potter. I SWEAR if he ever has a kid, it'll turn out just as stuck-up and idiotic as him. I can see it now, Harry Potter, the future stuck-up idiot. Well, I've got to go test out some new shampoo. Good night.
-Severus Snape
About Ten Years Later
Dear Diary,
Oh, my gosh. James Potter finally kicked the bucket! Too bad Lily had to die, too. The Dark Dude killed them. But horror of all horrors, their son, Harry Potter, survived, and according to the Daily Prophet (a.k.a. Daily Lying Piece of Trash), he "killed" the Dark Dude. As in THE Dark Dude. As in the "oh, my gosh, we really shouldn't say his name, so we'll just call him you-know-who like the wimpy little people we are" Dark Dude. Well, at least now I don't have to worry about giving him my letter of resignation. But can you just imagine how that brainless little idiot's kid is going to turn out? He might actually think he matters! As if. Maybe that scar on his head gave him some kind of brain damage. I mean really! The Dark Dude makes a mistake, and they blame a helpless little baby. Fools.
Well, I've got to go try out YET ANOTHER brand of shampoo. Good night.
-Severus Snape
Harry Potter, the Future Stuck-Up Idiot
Dear Diary,
Yet another day of being made fun of by that stuck-up idiotic popular James Potter. I SWEAR if he ever has a kid, it'll turn out just as stuck-up and idiotic as him. I can see it now, Harry Potter, the future stuck-up idiot. Well, I've got to go test out some new shampoo. Good night.
-Severus Snape
About Ten Years Later
Dear Diary,
Oh, my gosh. James Potter finally kicked the bucket! Too bad Lily had to die, too. The Dark Dude killed them. But horror of all horrors, their son, Harry Potter, survived, and according to the Daily Prophet (a.k.a. Daily Lying Piece of Trash), he "killed" the Dark Dude. As in THE Dark Dude. As in the "oh, my gosh, we really shouldn't say his name, so we'll just call him you-know-who like the wimpy little people we are" Dark Dude. Well, at least now I don't have to worry about giving him my letter of resignation. But can you just imagine how that brainless little idiot's kid is going to turn out? He might actually think he matters! As if. Maybe that scar on his head gave him some kind of brain damage. I mean really! The Dark Dude makes a mistake, and they blame a helpless little baby. Fools.
Well, I've got to go try out YET ANOTHER brand of shampoo. Good night.
-Severus Snape