"Adventures" by Tialys

"Hullo, cousin!"

"Hm?"

"Wake up, Frodo! You've slept all day -- not to mention the weeks you were snoring after you and Sam came back -- and you still haven't heard about all my adventures."

"Pippin? What's the time?"

"Um... oh, I don't know, Frodo, you know I never keep track of stuff like that!"

"That you don't."

"And I also have not heard all about yours."

"My...?"

"Adventures, of course."

"I would hardly call them that, Pippin."

"Well I know that isn't the exact term but it will do for now and you are trying to change the subject."

"I have heard some of your adventures, Pip."

"Not the best of them!"

"Perhaps not... alright Master Took, you may begin."

"Sit up, Frodo, so I know you won't fall asleep again!"

"Pip --"

"Come on, or I shall drag you up myself."

"There. Happy?"

"Very. Now I can begin."

"Do."

"What?"

"Begin, silly Took!"

"Where? Honestly, cousin, I can't just start and tell you the whole thing in one day! You'd never remember it all that way."

"My apologies. Where would you prefer to start?"

"Pick anything. I'm sure you've heard bits and pieces from Merry already."

"Pip?"

"Yes?"

"Did... did a troll really fall on you?"

"Oh, that's a good one! Well, you know it had to have. Why else would I have such huge bruises? You see, I was turned one way and -- Frodo?"

"Hm. Oh -- yes, Pip?"

"Are you alright."

"Yes... yes. I'm fine, Pip, go on."

"Well, you've probably heard the rest."

"Pip..."

"Yes?"

"Silly Took... you need to be more careful..."

"Oh really? This from the hobbit that was stung by a giant spider! Truly, Frodo, you cannot be that judgmental when you have had worse happen."

"Yes... I suppose I have."

"I'm fine, cousin."

"Sorry, Pip. I know you are... I'm just being foolish..."

"Ah, that's alright. After all, you don't know what it's really like to face something like that."

"Oh, I don't? I'll have you, know, Pip, I have seen --"

"I didn't say you haven't seen things like that. I mean that you haven't fought and defeated such creatures!"

"What... I --"

"No, cousin, you simply were stung by the spider. Sam defeated it. I, however --"

"Slew the troll yourself."

"Exactly."

"Apologies, Pip. Even if you didn't have enough sense to move away from your falling adversary."

"What?!"

"Really, Pippin. How on earth could you forget to move away once the troll was falling? You could have been killed! In quite an embarrassing way, too."

"Ah. Well, you've got me there, cousin."

"I thought as much."

"You think too much."

"Better than not enough."

"Well, I was wrong in one point."

"Just the one?"

"Yes."

"Which?"

"Well, there are other ways to receive such bruises than from a troll falling on you."

"Later, Peregrin. Later."

May 18, 2004