A/n: Okay we couldn't be arsed with 'Lost' so we've started this parody because hey it's 1 in the morning and we're really hyped on coke and ice cream

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As Morgan pulled up at Hunters house she smiled, she hadn't seen him in a couple of days.

She climbed out of her battered old shit wagon she 'coolly' walked up the footpath. (By coolly we mean she stepped out of the car and her right leg gave way, leaving her with grass in her hair and mud in her mouth)

"Oh its you" Hunter said when he opened the front door revealing a tramp that looked vaguely like Morgan, "Given up on washing then?" Morgan tried to recall the last time she used soap, but then realised Hunter was referring to her recent trip to floors-ville. But Morgan being Morgan answered the question anyway.

"Well I think it was last Tuesday, but I'd have to ask Mary K to be sure. She has this huge thing about personal hygiene, it's really quite sickening"

Morgan went over to hug her lover dude, she closed her eyes and moved closer to him arms outstretched, Hunter having heard his girlfriend actually is a tramp, was repulsed and quickly moved away causing Morgan to once again – fall over.

Trip two to Floors-ville.

"So why are you here Morgan?" Hunter a.k.a. Sex God asked.

"I came to see you, I've really missed you!" she cried

"Really, well isn't that fascinating," Hunter rolled his eyes, "Well you've seen me now so see ya later!"

Hunter was beginning to wonder why Cate Tiernan fixed him up with Morgan after all she was a tramp, he wasn't, she was a whiney annoying biatch and lets face it not exactly what you can call – 'pretty' I'm way too good for her, in fact she should be living in a kennel with the other dogs. He gave her a second glance, no scrap that, I would not even wish that fate on the dogs!

"But Hunter baby, sugar, dude I love you!" Morgan winged.

"Really? That's nice to know thank you. Now run along before I curse you with ugliness, oh wait you already have that".

Morgan then did what came naturally to her – she cried, not just a little, but a lot, and then a lot more, hmm...well lets just put it this way, her tears provided her with the first 'decent' wash she had had for a couple of – well, years.

"You're really not getting this are you?" Hunter pushed Morgan off the doorstep; she fell backwards arms flying in all directions landing flat on her arse (at least she landed on something soft)

Trip three to Floors-ville.

And Morgan being Morgan, cried some more. A lot more. AGAIN! (Nasty habit she's got)

Hunter headed into his house laughing his head off, slamming the door behind him, when he got inside he realised he needed to sterilise everything the tramp had touched.

"Oh no! Germs, girl germs. You know what screw the cleaning; I'm buying a new house. No amount of cleaning will get rid of her bacteria" Hunter smiled to himself, then let out a blood-curdling scream, "ARGH!!!! She touched me! I cant buy a new me o-oh I'm in trouble now"

Then through Hunter's mind went the going's on between him and Morgan in the past couple of months – his temporary insanity as he realised that he did in fact kiss her a lot and then eventually slept with her. Again he let out another blood-curling scream, which was cut short by a shovel hitting his head.

"No one calls me ugly, I happen to be very beautiful and that must be the truth. Mummy said so and she never lies, just looks at me like I'm a spazoid from spazland or maybe she thinks I'm from the moon" Morgan shrugged and walked away from the now unconscious hunter. But alas, alack she did not leave with grace- infact she fell out the door after tripping over her shovel.

Trip four to floors-ville.