Disclaimer:       Drizzt etc, all doesn't belong to me

Warning:          Nasty Drizzt hurting (non-con and slash).

You people will probably kill me for this, but he's so terribly good, it gets boring after a while.

Desire

I still remember the day I first saw him, white, silky hair framing a beautiful black skinned face and sparkling violet eyes, slender frame illuminated against the sinking sun. I wanted him instantly. But at the same time it was clear that I could never have him. These damn high morals of his prevented even the thought of such a possibility. So I consented myself with watching. Watching and dreaming.

I suppose you could call this Drow my weakness, he is the only one I will ever be able to claim in such a purely selfish manner, the only one who can bring out the worst in me just by simply existing, tempting me beyond belief.

After years of watching the opportunity presented itself in the aftermath of a hard won battle. I was astonished how easily he submitted to my blunt request when faced with the fact that she was all but gone after the other mage hit her with his spell. There was nobody else who could possibly hope to complete the task of calling her spirit back from the brink of death. Straight and simple: Your body for her life.

He was of course disgusted, but agreed eventually and I brought the irritating wench back thereby putting my own life at risk. Perhaps he had half hoped I would die in the process, but I don't die easily. I was surprised when the bitter betrayal in these expressive eyes didn't bother me like it should have. It was his fault after all, being who he is he should have known better than to trust anyone, known better than to trust me only because of my appearance. The fact that I'm a gold elf doesn't mean I can't act selfish or cruel.

Strange to think that he would do this for the human girl, a girl who will be long dead when he won't even be middle aged. He sacrificed his virginity as well as his pride to save her and I must admit that the thought gives me great satisfaction. To know I was the first to touch him this way, the first who ever made him moan and scream in ecstasy however unwilling it might have been. The remaining picture of golden gliding against ebony skin in the moonlight still makes me shiver at night. Sometimes I wonder if given a similar choice he would do it again. Maybe, I can wait.

My dark angel, he still comes to visit the city now and then, but only to see the Mistress and I'm back to watching. This time though I have more than dreams. He hates me now for what I did to him, but remembering is so much better than dreaming. There will be no regret on my side. Our dirty little secret: his shame, my pleasure. I'm sure he won't tell anybody what happened during that night. His body, usually under the full control of a trained warrior, let him down and responded to me when it shouldn't have. And I didn't stop even though I could clearly see the emotional anguish I was causing with my actions. I couldn't, I had waited for so long and he had sworn to cooperate and finally fulfil my desires. Of course that didn't keep him from calling me a heartless bastard, but I had expected defiance and somehow this made him even more enticing.

Many would probably call me evil for enjoying this. I'm not sure if they are right. Is he evil for killing his sister? There are so many shades of grey and maybe I just revealed something he has to see about himself. A part which to this day remains buried deep inside his consciousness.

I took the last bit of his innocence, and sometimes I like to think that I corrupted him. I find myself laughing inwardly when I hear others praise his goodness and purity, because they don't know. They haven't seen the slut he can be, begging to be fucked because nothing else can end the agony of unfulfilled need. Yes, I made him beg for it, made him need something he doesn't want to acknowledge. But I have seen, I remember and I swear that one day he will come to me willingly, despite the hate, driven solely by his desires. Do you hear me Do'Urden? You will come back. Nobody can be good all the time.