This is my favourite chapter. There is no question about it. The other chapter was so sickeningly carby, but I have to say I quite enjoyed it. I came to writing this chapter and I wanted to write Susan and Luka so badly it hurt! I hope that you like it and please, one request, please for one chapter- no flames? MaggieMay I have honestly enjoyed your comments but this is something I have put time and effort into and deep down I don't like to read flames- no author does. This is a chapter I enjoy reading and a negative comment would ruin my enjoyment of it forever, so how about it- no flames, please?

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Chapter 12: So Many Words said, Yet so few Words Spoken

Susan woke early, the light pouring in from the windows awakening her from her slumber. She rubbed her eyes dreamily, being careful not to wake Luka. She smiled realising the two of them were still huddled together in the exact same position on the sofa as they had been last night.

She watched as his chest rose and and fell over and over, the duvet expanded as he did so. She smiled as she pushed a stray hand from his eyes and moved his arms around her tighter, still keeping grip of her hand in his.

Susan sighed as she wondered where this was all going, where exactly her and Luka were heading. She hadn't been in a relationship since Carter, since Mark had died. It seemed like a hell of a long time ago and she was scared, scared that she had forgotten, scared that she wouldn't know how to love someone again, scared that he wouldn't live up to her standards, scared she couldn't love him as much as she had loved mark.

He groaned as she gently shook him, trying to wake him also.

Susan, go away He wailed as she shook him again, releasing her hand from his grip and taking his arms from her waist to get up. He clutched at the air, trying to pull her back. He leaned forwards once again, this time a little too far. Susan laughed as he picked himself up from the ground. Eventually lunging towards her to give her a hug.

He grinned cheekily, finally letting her go.

Good morning

You feeling better? She nodded.

Yeah, much better She paused He looked confused

No what?

No you can't take my temperature. He laughed, placing a hand on her head.

You've cooled down at least.

Are you saying I'm not hot anymore then? He grinned.

Awww, no, I'm most certainly not saying that! She laughed and her features changed into a broad grin as he pulled his arms around her waist once more.

He smiled also as he watched her pretty features. Her eyes sparkled even in the dim lighting of the apartment and she looked beautiful. He brought his hand to her face and stroked the smooth curve of her jaw.

He paused, not wanting her to speak, not wanting to have to reply but to to simply stay like this forever, trapped in time, completely caught up in the moment. Finally he gave in and nodded gently in response. I'm scared. He smiled stroking her face again slowly.

I'm not going to hurt you Susan. He smile trying to reassure her. I promise.

It's just, it's been a long time. She paused and studied his face, trying to establish if he still understood her. Since I let myself fall in love. She sighed. I'm so scared I know, I know you won't hurt me but I'm still scared. Scared of losing you.

Suddenly realising why she was talking like this. Realising why she was so terrified she was shaking. Understanding why they had been dancing around each other for weeks, not touching, not getting too close, not admitting to themselves and one another that this was something more than a friendship that had formed.

An identical chill ran down the spines of them both as Luka finally said his name. A tear formed in Susan's eye and Luka raised his hand, wiping it away as it began to roll down the side of her face. She was shaking, more violently as the seconds passed. As she began to sob Luka gathered her in his arms, remembering one of the very first times they were alone together in her apartment as he did so. He stroked her hair, somehow trying to reassure her, somehow trying to tell her that this was going to be okay, that he wasn't about to disappear but it was just so hard, so very hard to find the right words to say.

Susan couldn't speak either, instead she nodded as she cried, keeping herself as close to Luka as she possibly could. Never wanting to let him go, wanting to old onto him forever.

Finally she pulled away, but only enough to be able to stare into Luka's glazed eyes. I'm not Mark, I never will be. She nodded, not needing to say a word. But, I do, I want, I want to, try, for us to be, together. He let out a groan. This isn't coming out right. I, I understand.

Suddenly they both sighed, finally having said what they both had needed to say- without using words. They smiled at each other before they once again began to ponder their own private thoughts.

Luka understood, he realised how much he loved the woman that was entangled in his arms. They had been standing still for weeks, too scared to move on, too scared to look back. For the first time in, forever it seemed, he didn't feel a pain deep inside of him, he didn't need Danjela right here in front of him, he needed Susan.

And he knew that Susan needed him in front of her now, not Mark. Her and Mark had been very different to him and Danjela but somehow, it was the same. They both felt the loss the pain and they both understood what the other went through every day.

Susan knew, she finally knew. She knew what she wanted what she needed, and that she couldn't hold on forever. All her life she had searched for something she had never been able to find and finally it was inches from her.

Mark had gone and she would never forget him, nor would she ever get over him, but she could move on. After all, life does move on. She would never be Luka's wife but she had finally realised he didn't want her to be, he never had. She had been so scared of falling in love again but now, on the brink of it, her fears had finally disappeared.

Susan leaned up to touch his face gently, speaking all of the words that were needed, telling all the stories that needed to be told, not saying a word but agreeing with every word Luka was saying, or trying to say.

She felt the sparks fly as Luka stoked her face, she raised her hand to his head, pulling him towards her gently. For a moment they hovered, millimetres apart before he finally leaned towards her.

Their lips met and Luka's became instantly tingly. She was warm and her moist lips meeting his sent a shiver down his spine. As they kissed he moved his hand to her ear, twisting her tiny hoop earring with his index finger and his thumb.

Susan let her hands glide across Luka's back, dancing across his muscles and rubbing gently his spinal chord. She moved them up to his hair as they continued to kiss.

Finally they parted, both gasping for air. Susan blushed, bowing her head. She smiled as she looked up at Luka, who was beginning to blush also. She waited, silently, for him to speak.

I have been wanting to do that for a very long time. She smiled again, suddenly overwhelmed by just how sexy his croatian accent was.

Me too Luka blushed a similar shade of red to Susan, framing her face with his hands.

Susan Lewis, I think I'm falling in love with you. He whispered as he leaned in and kissed her again.


-*±The End±*-