Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J.K.Rowling does
Chapter 11: It's Only a Matter of Time
Once again, weeks passed without Hermione and Draco speaking to each other. He had opened up to her in a way that he had never opened up to anyone else before. She knew that she felt something for him that she couldn't place but she wanted to leave it there. She feared that feeling something for the Dark Lord would only make her life even more complicated, if that was in fact possible.
Draco knew that he had spilled some 'top secret' information to her but for some reason he trusted her. It angered him that she still wound up being depressed but he did his best to keep it off of his mind, realizing his emotions would get the best of him if he did not.
One not too special day, Hermione sat in Transfiguration class listening to McGonagall talk. "Now class, I have a special announcement to make and I want you all to hear it. Normally, as a teacher, I try to stay away from the subject as many of you may disagree with my opinion but today, I must speak my mind. Things have been happening. Strange attacks have been made on muggle born wizards all over London. I fear the possibility of the attacks coming to Hogwarts and I want you all to head my words. NOW is the time for house unity. NOW is the time for students to unite from all houses. Slytherin's and Gryffindors, this is YOUR time to show the world what you are made of. Prove to them that prejudice does not exist in Hogwarts. I know you have your petty differences but I beg of you to put them aside. A day will come when the fate of the wizarding world may lay in your hands and when that day comes, I want to know that we are taken care of. I fear that if you continue down your paths of hate, the wizarding community will fall and all that will be left is hate and evil. Please understand that blood had nothing to do with the ability of one wizard or another. That is all I will say. Now please open your books to page three hundred and forty nine."
No one moved. It was very un-McGonagall like to discuss things such as this with the students. She always told them that these matters were off subject from her class and that they were not important when it came to school.
Later, as they were leaving class, Ron questioned the motives of their Head of House. "What was that all about? We already knew there were attacks, it was in the Daily Prophet. Besides, it's always Dumbledore who tells us about attacks and such. Why would McGonagall tell us and ask us to start getting along with the Slytherins? It seems a bit awkward to me, don't you think?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. She knew that McGonagall always had her reasons for doing what she did and she would have hoped that even Ron could see that. "Ron, don't question it and just listen to what she told us. She told us to get along with everyone. That means don't intentionally try to piss people off, namely the Slytherins. We don't need any more magical attacks and we especially don't need them in school."
Ron and Harry looked at her with wide eyes. "Hey, do you think McGonagall is a muggle born?" Harry asked with curiosity. None of the teachers ever disclosed that type of information with the students.
"No, I don't think so," Ron said distractedly. "Want to go play a game of wizard's chess?"
Harry's face brightened and he nodded his agreement.
"What about you, 'Mione? You coming?"
Hermione thought for a while and then politely said no. She walked away from them and went to the library. She checked out four large books and headed back to the Head Tower. Once she got there, she plopped down on the couch and took out one of the books, Salazar Slytherin: The Truth Behind the Man. The other books were on Rowena Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Godric Gryffindor. She wanted to research what split them all apart, other than blood.
After that day, not much changed. The Slytherins still went out of their way to torture the Gryffindors and the Gryffindors never let it roll off of their shoulders. The Quidditch matches were particularly interesting. Slytherins vs. Gryffindors... it was always as if they had some sort of score to settle, some personal revenge. And they did. "Breeding will win out." That's what the snakes would shout from the stands. The Gryffindors chose a much lighter response. "Let's go, Gryffindor. Let's go, Gryffindor!" They kept their insults to a minimum under McGonagall's instructions. She had threatened her house that the next student in Gryffindor to start a fight with someone from another house would receive a month worth of detention.
Hermione had no choice about attending the games. Oliver always wanted to go and wouldn't accept her trying to stay back, regardless of schoolwork. One day though, she couldn't take the awkwardness of it all. She split up with Oliver. He didn't seem too upset by it. He still visited Ron and Harry often and when he ran into Hermione, he didn't talk to her like it was weird, he talked to her like a friend. She was happy with that because she always liked him, just not in a romantic way.
One day in April, she woke up with a bad feeling. She felt like something bad was going to happen that day but she couldn't guess what. When she got to the Great Hall for breakfast, she noticed most of the teachers were wearing black. After everyone was seated, Dumbledore rose, looking very solemn.
"Attention, students, attention! I regret to inform you that last night, there was an attack in the school. One of our staff was hit with an unforgivable curse. Professor McGonagall is no longer with us. There will be no classes today due to the recent events. I would like to warn all muggle-borns and half-blooded wizards to be on alert."
Everyone's faces fell, even some of the Slytherins. It was a huge loss. Though McGonagall was the strictest of all the professors, she had always been fair and kind. She never showed favoritism and showed her affection for her students in a different kind of way, through their work. She dedicated all of her time and effort into her job, not because she was paid to but because she cared about the students and wanted them to have every advantage. She loved them and regardless of what they said behind her back or even to her face, they loved her as well.
Hermione felt tears sting her eyes and as always when she cried, she looked for a certain platinum blonde haired boy with the most mysterious cold gray eyes she had ever seen. She looked at the Slytherin table, but Malfoy was nowhere to be found. She could now taste the salt from her tears and she stood up quickly. She had to find Malfoy. No matter what, he could always make her at least not think about the pain for a short while. She ran to the Head Tower and scanned the common room for him. Nothing. She knocked on his door but there was no response so she just walked in. There was a lump in the unmade bed and she could tell that it was him. She sat on the bed beside him and shook him slightly. "Malfoy... Malfoy wake up," she whispered. "Come on, Malfoy. I really need to talk!" She shook him harder now, just needing him to comfort her, though she doubted he would do it knowingly. But he always made her feel better. He just had that effect on her, no matter what he said.
He turned over in his bed and she felt the situation grow uncomfortable. She was kneeling next to him on his bed, practically on top of him. "What do you want from me now, Granger? Must you wake me up this early in the morning?" He apparently had not looked at the time.
"Malfoy, it's already nine o'clock and on any other day, classes would be starting soon."
"What do you mean on any other day."
"Pr...Professor... Professor McGongall... she... she died, Draco. She died."
Draco's jaw dropped. Had he heard her correctly? If he had, then that would mean that his dream wasn't actually a dream. No... it wasn't possible, was it? "Are you serious?"
She looked into his yes and he could see the answer. She responded anyway, "Don't I look like I'm serious? Why else would I be crying?"
He buried his head in his pillow, not being able to look at her face. How could he tell her? He couldn't let her know. "How did she die?" he mumbled into the pillow.
"One of the... the unforgivable curses," she stuttered. She couldn't stop her tears anymore and at this point neither could he. "I just don't know what to do anymore, Draco. My life is just spiraling downwards into the ground. It's as if I'm the captain on a ship, which is sinking. I'm going down with my ship. I'm going down with my ship, Draco, and I'm drowning now. I'm suffocating and now with McGonagall gone, I'm just at a loss for what to do with myself. She was my role model, a mother figure to me."
"Do they know why she was killed?"
"Dumbledore didn't say but I assume it's because she was a muggle-born. She never told anyone except me but it wasn't as if it was impossible to find out. She only told me because... well in second year, I was crying. It was the first time you had called me a mudblood. She wanted to assure me that being muggle born had no effect on my abilities as a witch."
For the second time in his life, he was speechless. The only word he could mutter was "Oh." They sat there for a while, silent tears streaming down their faces. After a few minutes, he stood up and picked her up in his arms.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"We're going down to the common room."
"Why are you carrying me?"
"Well I figured that after such a stressful morning, your legs would be tired. Forgive me if I'm wrong but don't your legs give up when you feel stressed?" She nodded her head as an answer. "Then wouldn't you prefer that I carry you?"
"Yes, please," she replied quietly. "But what are we going to do in the common room?"
"I figured you'd be more comfortable there. I mean, we're not exactly friends and I think technically we still consider each other enemies. I didn't think that you were comfortable in the bed of an enemy. Was I right?"
She didn't answer but instead, wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled her head against his shoulder. He carried her down the steps that led to the common room and sat down on the couch with her on his lap. They sat there for hours, neither one was sure what to say. At one point, she drifted off to sleep but it was only a short nap. He was still there when she woke up which comforted her.
"Hermione, I think there's something... something that I need to tell you," he said without looking into her eyes. "I blanked out last night. I can't recall anything that I did. I went up to my room around eight o'clock and then I don't know what else. I don't remember."
She didn't look shocked or surprised. She didn't look mad or sad. She looked as if she had expected it. "I thought that it may have been you but I didn't want to accuse you. I mean, you did tell me that you were the Dark Lord. Who else would have attacked her? Maybe the death eaters would have killed her, but it would have been under your command."
"No, Hermione, you don't understand. I don't want this. I didn't want to kill her, I don't even remember if I did!" He stood up abruptly pushing her off of him. He began clawing at his head. "Get out of me! Just leave me alone! Let me be! I don't want to be like you. You're evil! I'm not, I swear it!" Then something odd happened. His voice dropped and he stopped pounding his head. The voice sounded calmer and more sadistic. "Oh but you ARE evil," it said. "YOU were the one to sneak into her room. YOU were the one to stupefy her and then YOU were the one to use the unforgivable on her. Since YOU were the one to do all of these things, then that makes YOU the one that is evil." Suddenly, the clawing stopped. "NO! NO! It wasn't me! I...YOU made me do it! I didn't want to kill her! She didn't deserve to die!"
"Yes she did!" the sadistic voice responded. "She was a mudblood!"
"She was a great woman!"
"She was filthy and dirty..."
"SHUT UP!" Draco roared at himself. He looked at Hermione (who now looked extremely scared) with pleading eyes. "Please help me get rid of them. They're driving me crazy. They're always in my head, telling me what to do! I can't stop them. I just want them out! I hate them... I hate me," he said the last part more quietly as tears stained his pale cheeks. She looked up at him, finally understanding what was going on. The past leaders of the dark side somehow possessed him and now they had gained control.
"I think I should go get Professor Dumbledore..."
"NO!" he shouted as quickly as he could. "He can't know! If you go to him... they'll kill you. It's a spell. The minute either of us goes to tell any of the authorities, YOU die. Please don't go. I can't lose you! You're all I have." Now Hermione had heard some pretty strange things today but when Malfoy confessed that she was the only person he felt he could talk to, that took the prize. He was down on his knees in front of her, clutching her hands in his.
"I have to go," she said, feeling slighting uncomfortable. "I'm going to the library to do some... research," she said quickly, trying to shake off this horrible feeling that was forming in the pit of her stomach. Maybe it was butterflies, maybe it was nerves but she couldn't tell. The way Malfoy was looking at her told her that he was okay for the time being. "While I'm gone, why don't you go lock yourself up in your room and get some more sleep, eh? I doubt that you slept a wink last night and I know that you get... cranky without enough sleep." He nodded and retreated back to his room.
She ran to the library and took out any book she could find on possessing and mind control. She also snuck into the restricted section for any books on the dark arts and the inauguration ceremony for the Dark Lord. She brought at least ten books back to her room to do some research up there. She couldn't study in the library. What if someone walked in and saw what she was reading? Possessing people and inaugurating Dark Lords isn't something that a normal person would be interested in.
She buried her head in her books for the remainder of the day, ignoring all of her friends who had stopped by to visit. Finally, at midnight, she thought she found something. The book said that at the inauguration ceremony, the upcoming Dark Lord would mix blood with that of the strongest Dark Wizards throughout history. She assumed that meant Voldemort and Slytherin, of course. Who else? Everyone else in the Dark Arts is mostly coward. She figured that most Death Eaters are only that because if they said no, the consequences would have been far greater.
After she dog-eared the page, she ran to Draco's room and pounded on his door but found a note on it instead. 'Hermione, I was starving. Went to Kitchen to get us some food. Don't worry. Be back soon, D. Malfoy' She ran back down the steps to the common room and saw him entering through the portrait hole. "I got you some food as well," he said courteously. "Thought you'd be hungry." He placed a tray of food in front of her and she dug in, not caring how much of a pig she looked like. She was hungry, starving perhaps. She hadn't eaten her breakfast and had skipped all of the other meals that day so she could research.
"Thank you," she said politely. "Okay, so I found out that it might not technically be you. I think it's Voldemort and Slytherin acting THROUGH you. Did you go through a ceremony?"
"Yes," he replied sheepishly. "But it wasn't my choice."
She didn't understand what he meant by that but decided not to question him. "All right. Well, I believe it wasn't your choice. After what I saw this morning, I see that you're fighting some type of battle inside so I trust you, but I need to know why you became the Dark Lord."
His answer consisted of one four-letter word, as if it explained everything. "Love." She looked at him, her eyebrows raised and he wished he could have had a picture of her just then. She looked so cute when she was confused. "Love is a weakness and it became mine. I had fallen in love and that is why I didn't want to be the Dark Lord. But they kidnapped her and tortured her and threatened to kill her unless I gave in to their demands. They wanted me to be their Dark Lord and if I refused then her life would be taken from this world."
"Do you regret it?"
"You mean, would I do it again? In a heartbeat. You see, I can't be with her anymore but I can see her. She's living and that's really all that matters. It's torturing not to be able to be with her but this way, she at least has a chance of being happy."
"How does she feel? Doesn't she hate not being able to be with you? Isn't she depressed? I mean, if I fell in love, I could never get over the guy."
"I know. That's why I erased yo-HER memory," he caught himself before he told her who the girl was. "I didn't want her moping and crying over what we had, what we could have had, what we were going to have."
"What do you mean by that?"
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a simple silver ring with one small diamond on top of it. "She likes the simpler things," he said, handing the ring to Hermione for her to admire it. "I was going to ask her to be mine forever. I was going to tell her that nothing could take me away from her but then..." Tears flowed down his cheeks and she went to wipe them from his face but he turned away from her. "How can you be so kind to me after what I've done? How could you ever forgive me?" Hermione figured he was talking about McGonagall's death and the past six years that he tortured her but she was wrong. "It's all my fault. You're depressed and I can't fix it. I was supposed to be there to fix it for you but instead I only make it worse."
"I'm not sure I get what you're talking about but I assure you that if anything, you're the cure for my depression. When I get mad or sad, I feel compelled to run to you, as if you can comfort me but... I don't get it. I take comfort in being in the arms of the Dark Lord? But I do understand now," she said with a smile "I take comfort not in the arms of the Dark Lord, but in the arms of a man who got caught up in something he never wanted to take part in. You are a good man, Draco Malfoy. You would have made a great husband."
"Well we'll never know now, will we?" he said glumly.
"Look at me, Draco," she commanded. He didn't listen to her instructions, afraid that she would see through his expressions. "Look at me, God damnit!" She grabbed him by the shoulders and whirled him around. "YOU make your own decisions, Draco. They hold no power over you. We'll find a way for you to be with your girlfriend again." Her heart broke at the very words. Draco was already in love with someone. Inside, she knew that she had been falling for him but now there was no hope. He had given his heart to another and she would never be able to be with him. "I'll keep researching and find a way. I found things on the inauguration of the Dark Lord. Now all we need is how to reverse the ceremony."
He flashed a warm smile at her but it meant nothing. "You can't save me. The only way I can be defeated is by my equal and I am destined to fall under his hands. That is my destiny. There's some prophecy on it. You know, you read it."
"I did?" She racked her brain for a few minutes before stumbling on it. Yes, she had read the prophecy. The Dark Lord will face his equal and he will fall. "Oh. I'm sorry," she replied while feeling a little bit silly for not remembering. "Well, then how can I help you? I can't stand seeing you so upset. For some reason, it hurts me."
He sat down on the couch and sighed. "You're the kindest person I've ever met. I don't know how you do it, but your good-hearted nature never ceases to amaze me. That's why this is so hard for me. There isn't a thing about you that I don't treasure. You're precious to me but you shouldn't know that. I tried to make sure that you'd never know that but I can't keep it from you. I... I... I can't live without you. Your touch, your smile... you drive me crazy just thinking about the way we were together. Do you remember? No, of course you don't. That's my fault. You could never remember something that has been erased from your memory. But you should know this now... I love you. You're the only girl for me." He paused for a moment, going over everything he had just said and suddenly regretted it. He hadn't meant to do that but he couldn't take it back.
"You love me?" she asked. Her mind was racing. 'I...me... I'm the girl? He fell in love with me? I fell for him? This is just getting way too weird.' She looked up into his face and saw that he was avoiding eye contact. "Don't say something like that when you don't mean it." She said, assuming he had lied to her.
"I meant it, Hermione. It was you. I didn't want you to wallow. I didn't want you to look at me in the hall and get sad. I just wanted you to be okay."
He stood with his back to her and they stayed silent for at least ten minutes. 'Why isn't she saying anything? I just poured my heart out to her. She should have SOMETHING to say, shouldn't she?' He whizzed around to see her reaction but it wasn't a pleasing one. She had passed out from the shock. He quickly picked her up without hesitation and ran as fast as his legs could take him to the Hospital Wing.
"What happened to her?" Madame Pomfrey asked as soon as they arrived.
"I don't know. One minute, we were talking. I turned my back for just one minute, give or take, and when I looked back, she was sprawled out on the floor. Is she going to be okay?"
She directed him to a bed and told him that he had better step back and let her do her job. He stepped out of the room and waited in the hallway directly outside of it. 'How could I be so stupid?' he thought to himself. 'I should've known not to overload her. Her legs must have given out. Damn whoever hexed her! I can't believe how things went tonight! I never wanted something like this to happen. If she's not all right, I blame myself.'
After about an hour of pacing back and forth in the corridor, Madame Pomfrey came out looking grim. "It's the paralysis. She's unconscious."
"Will she wake up again? That's what I want to know. Tell me! Will she wake up again?" He shook her from the shoulders, demanding the answer. Once he slowed down enough for her to respond, she replied with a solemn face.
"It's up to her. Only she can make that choice. It can go either way."
"But I thought that the spell... well she read that it had never killed anyone. How could it kill her if that's not what the curse does?"
"No... she forgot to read the fine print. You see, paralysis makes a wizard go insane from being cooped up so long. Then, if they feel stressed and overwhelmed, they may pass out but whether they wake up is up to them. Many have chosen death because their life is driving them crazy. Like I said earlier, it's up to her."
Draco ran to her side of the bed. 'So this is what she felt when I was in a coma,' he thought wryly to himself. All he could feel was his heart being wrenched from inside of him, the worst feeling in the world as far as he could tell. He sat by her side all night, telling her how he felt. Things like "I love you so much," and "You can't leave me. Never leave me. I need you too much." He held her hand and kissed it.
In the morning, Madame Pomfrey came in to the Hospital Wing and found Draco lying in bed with her, not sleeping. He looked as though he hadn't slept for even a moment. He was stroking the side of her arm, whispering incoherently into her ear.
"Dear, if you don't mind me asking, what is your new relationship with Ms. Granger? I was under the impression that you were enemies." Madame Pomfrey said, sounding frightened that his answer may be cruel or harsh. And it was.
"My relationship with Hermione is none of your concern and you'll do well to keep all of your thoughts to yourself." Even though she was a teacher, he was still the Dark Lord and he had a manner that demanded fear and respect from all those he conversed with.
He pushed a tendril of hair behind her ear, and saw a pained expression cross her face. She was fighting something inside, a war with herself. He knew what it was. Should she come back to the light or not? But he knew what he wanted her to do. It was the reason that he gave up his life. He wanted her to live. Life was the greatest adventure of them all and he hoped she knew that.
He stayed with her all day, skipping all of his classes and taking all of his meals in bed. She was all that mattered to him. Every now and then, he would feel hate course through his system and would ask himself why he still cared about her but it wore off quickly.
That night, after Madame Pomfrey left, Draco got off of the bed and stood on the side that she was facing. "I know you technically can't here me, Hermione, but listen anyway. I need you to live. You're all that I have in this world. Even when we're not together, even after Christmas, you still have a way of making me a better person, though I doubt you can save me from my path. Anyway, now you have to listen to me. I know you've never been one to listen to instructions or orders but I am commanding you to come back to me. Come back and save me. Stop being so bloody stubborn and come back to me." He choked out the words as if they were his last.
'If she won't come to me, I will go to her. I can't live without her. Maybe death is a great adventure as well. I could just join her in the after life... NO! Draco, what are you thinking? Killing yourself? There has to be a better way, one where we can both be alive, together, and happy.'
He decided to let his heart take over. He knelt down on one knee and did something even he didn't expect. "Hermione, once you wake up, I'm making you mine," he said with hope in his voice. "I will marry you and be the happiest man in the world, if only you would wake up. I need you to answer my proposal. Will you marry me?" He slipped the ring on her finger and kissed her hand lovingly. Suddenly, she began to stir. Her eyes were fluttering open. "'Mione?" he said questioningly. "Are you... are you waking up?"
Her eyes flickered open completely and she turned her head to look at Draco. "Yes," she replied with a smile. "To both of your questions."
"You'll... you'll really marry me?"
"Tell me when and where and I'm there," she said weakly. "I heard you calling. I didn't want to come back. I could see McGonagall and Sirius Black on the other side, waving to me, inviting me to join them but then I heard your voice. You were proposing and I couldn't say no. I need you too, Draco. I couldn't imagine not having you in my life. Please don't ever make me imagine not having you in my life. You're too important to me."
He captured her lips in his without uttering another word. The moment was just too perfect. The kiss had been long overdue. He had not felt the feel of her lips since Christmas and he never wanted to give that up. They got swept up in passion and they showed their love for each other all night long.
But in the back of Draco's mind, he knew it couldn't last. He was still the Dark Lord and would soon be killed by his 'equal.' It was only a matter of time.
A/N... Thanks so much to all my reviewers. I have to say that you guys keep me inspired, though I have to say, I'd like a few more reviews. It's so great when I get online an that annoying voice goes, "You've got mail." And then I check and I have like four or five reviews. It's beautiful. It's one of the greatest feelings, knowing that my work is appreciated.
This is sort of a cliffhanger. Sorry for those of you who didn't want McGonagall to get killed off. She happens to be one of my favorite characters and I would normally hate to see her die but I needed to stress the importance of the death. She died because the war is starting and you have to really try and see Draco struggling with the other half of him that wants to be evil and that wants to kill.
I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to make the story. I've always like the idea of having twelve chapters but I don't think I can fit everything into one chapter. As it is, this chapter is the longest I have written thus far.
Tell me what you want to happen in the next chapter. I'm going to try to update as quick as possible but at the current moment, I have a huge Spanish test to study for, two Spanish projects, one English performance assessment, a math project, and a history paper all due by Monday and I haven't started any of them.
Thanks to all my reviewers. Keep reviewing because I love you guys. The more you review the more I love you. (hehe, that rhymed.) Okay, bye byes for now.
Chapter 11: It's Only a Matter of Time
Once again, weeks passed without Hermione and Draco speaking to each other. He had opened up to her in a way that he had never opened up to anyone else before. She knew that she felt something for him that she couldn't place but she wanted to leave it there. She feared that feeling something for the Dark Lord would only make her life even more complicated, if that was in fact possible.
Draco knew that he had spilled some 'top secret' information to her but for some reason he trusted her. It angered him that she still wound up being depressed but he did his best to keep it off of his mind, realizing his emotions would get the best of him if he did not.
One not too special day, Hermione sat in Transfiguration class listening to McGonagall talk. "Now class, I have a special announcement to make and I want you all to hear it. Normally, as a teacher, I try to stay away from the subject as many of you may disagree with my opinion but today, I must speak my mind. Things have been happening. Strange attacks have been made on muggle born wizards all over London. I fear the possibility of the attacks coming to Hogwarts and I want you all to head my words. NOW is the time for house unity. NOW is the time for students to unite from all houses. Slytherin's and Gryffindors, this is YOUR time to show the world what you are made of. Prove to them that prejudice does not exist in Hogwarts. I know you have your petty differences but I beg of you to put them aside. A day will come when the fate of the wizarding world may lay in your hands and when that day comes, I want to know that we are taken care of. I fear that if you continue down your paths of hate, the wizarding community will fall and all that will be left is hate and evil. Please understand that blood had nothing to do with the ability of one wizard or another. That is all I will say. Now please open your books to page three hundred and forty nine."
No one moved. It was very un-McGonagall like to discuss things such as this with the students. She always told them that these matters were off subject from her class and that they were not important when it came to school.
Later, as they were leaving class, Ron questioned the motives of their Head of House. "What was that all about? We already knew there were attacks, it was in the Daily Prophet. Besides, it's always Dumbledore who tells us about attacks and such. Why would McGonagall tell us and ask us to start getting along with the Slytherins? It seems a bit awkward to me, don't you think?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. She knew that McGonagall always had her reasons for doing what she did and she would have hoped that even Ron could see that. "Ron, don't question it and just listen to what she told us. She told us to get along with everyone. That means don't intentionally try to piss people off, namely the Slytherins. We don't need any more magical attacks and we especially don't need them in school."
Ron and Harry looked at her with wide eyes. "Hey, do you think McGonagall is a muggle born?" Harry asked with curiosity. None of the teachers ever disclosed that type of information with the students.
"No, I don't think so," Ron said distractedly. "Want to go play a game of wizard's chess?"
Harry's face brightened and he nodded his agreement.
"What about you, 'Mione? You coming?"
Hermione thought for a while and then politely said no. She walked away from them and went to the library. She checked out four large books and headed back to the Head Tower. Once she got there, she plopped down on the couch and took out one of the books, Salazar Slytherin: The Truth Behind the Man. The other books were on Rowena Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Godric Gryffindor. She wanted to research what split them all apart, other than blood.
After that day, not much changed. The Slytherins still went out of their way to torture the Gryffindors and the Gryffindors never let it roll off of their shoulders. The Quidditch matches were particularly interesting. Slytherins vs. Gryffindors... it was always as if they had some sort of score to settle, some personal revenge. And they did. "Breeding will win out." That's what the snakes would shout from the stands. The Gryffindors chose a much lighter response. "Let's go, Gryffindor. Let's go, Gryffindor!" They kept their insults to a minimum under McGonagall's instructions. She had threatened her house that the next student in Gryffindor to start a fight with someone from another house would receive a month worth of detention.
Hermione had no choice about attending the games. Oliver always wanted to go and wouldn't accept her trying to stay back, regardless of schoolwork. One day though, she couldn't take the awkwardness of it all. She split up with Oliver. He didn't seem too upset by it. He still visited Ron and Harry often and when he ran into Hermione, he didn't talk to her like it was weird, he talked to her like a friend. She was happy with that because she always liked him, just not in a romantic way.
One day in April, she woke up with a bad feeling. She felt like something bad was going to happen that day but she couldn't guess what. When she got to the Great Hall for breakfast, she noticed most of the teachers were wearing black. After everyone was seated, Dumbledore rose, looking very solemn.
"Attention, students, attention! I regret to inform you that last night, there was an attack in the school. One of our staff was hit with an unforgivable curse. Professor McGonagall is no longer with us. There will be no classes today due to the recent events. I would like to warn all muggle-borns and half-blooded wizards to be on alert."
Everyone's faces fell, even some of the Slytherins. It was a huge loss. Though McGonagall was the strictest of all the professors, she had always been fair and kind. She never showed favoritism and showed her affection for her students in a different kind of way, through their work. She dedicated all of her time and effort into her job, not because she was paid to but because she cared about the students and wanted them to have every advantage. She loved them and regardless of what they said behind her back or even to her face, they loved her as well.
Hermione felt tears sting her eyes and as always when she cried, she looked for a certain platinum blonde haired boy with the most mysterious cold gray eyes she had ever seen. She looked at the Slytherin table, but Malfoy was nowhere to be found. She could now taste the salt from her tears and she stood up quickly. She had to find Malfoy. No matter what, he could always make her at least not think about the pain for a short while. She ran to the Head Tower and scanned the common room for him. Nothing. She knocked on his door but there was no response so she just walked in. There was a lump in the unmade bed and she could tell that it was him. She sat on the bed beside him and shook him slightly. "Malfoy... Malfoy wake up," she whispered. "Come on, Malfoy. I really need to talk!" She shook him harder now, just needing him to comfort her, though she doubted he would do it knowingly. But he always made her feel better. He just had that effect on her, no matter what he said.
He turned over in his bed and she felt the situation grow uncomfortable. She was kneeling next to him on his bed, practically on top of him. "What do you want from me now, Granger? Must you wake me up this early in the morning?" He apparently had not looked at the time.
"Malfoy, it's already nine o'clock and on any other day, classes would be starting soon."
"What do you mean on any other day."
"Pr...Professor... Professor McGongall... she... she died, Draco. She died."
Draco's jaw dropped. Had he heard her correctly? If he had, then that would mean that his dream wasn't actually a dream. No... it wasn't possible, was it? "Are you serious?"
She looked into his yes and he could see the answer. She responded anyway, "Don't I look like I'm serious? Why else would I be crying?"
He buried his head in his pillow, not being able to look at her face. How could he tell her? He couldn't let her know. "How did she die?" he mumbled into the pillow.
"One of the... the unforgivable curses," she stuttered. She couldn't stop her tears anymore and at this point neither could he. "I just don't know what to do anymore, Draco. My life is just spiraling downwards into the ground. It's as if I'm the captain on a ship, which is sinking. I'm going down with my ship. I'm going down with my ship, Draco, and I'm drowning now. I'm suffocating and now with McGonagall gone, I'm just at a loss for what to do with myself. She was my role model, a mother figure to me."
"Do they know why she was killed?"
"Dumbledore didn't say but I assume it's because she was a muggle-born. She never told anyone except me but it wasn't as if it was impossible to find out. She only told me because... well in second year, I was crying. It was the first time you had called me a mudblood. She wanted to assure me that being muggle born had no effect on my abilities as a witch."
For the second time in his life, he was speechless. The only word he could mutter was "Oh." They sat there for a while, silent tears streaming down their faces. After a few minutes, he stood up and picked her up in his arms.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"We're going down to the common room."
"Why are you carrying me?"
"Well I figured that after such a stressful morning, your legs would be tired. Forgive me if I'm wrong but don't your legs give up when you feel stressed?" She nodded her head as an answer. "Then wouldn't you prefer that I carry you?"
"Yes, please," she replied quietly. "But what are we going to do in the common room?"
"I figured you'd be more comfortable there. I mean, we're not exactly friends and I think technically we still consider each other enemies. I didn't think that you were comfortable in the bed of an enemy. Was I right?"
She didn't answer but instead, wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled her head against his shoulder. He carried her down the steps that led to the common room and sat down on the couch with her on his lap. They sat there for hours, neither one was sure what to say. At one point, she drifted off to sleep but it was only a short nap. He was still there when she woke up which comforted her.
"Hermione, I think there's something... something that I need to tell you," he said without looking into her eyes. "I blanked out last night. I can't recall anything that I did. I went up to my room around eight o'clock and then I don't know what else. I don't remember."
She didn't look shocked or surprised. She didn't look mad or sad. She looked as if she had expected it. "I thought that it may have been you but I didn't want to accuse you. I mean, you did tell me that you were the Dark Lord. Who else would have attacked her? Maybe the death eaters would have killed her, but it would have been under your command."
"No, Hermione, you don't understand. I don't want this. I didn't want to kill her, I don't even remember if I did!" He stood up abruptly pushing her off of him. He began clawing at his head. "Get out of me! Just leave me alone! Let me be! I don't want to be like you. You're evil! I'm not, I swear it!" Then something odd happened. His voice dropped and he stopped pounding his head. The voice sounded calmer and more sadistic. "Oh but you ARE evil," it said. "YOU were the one to sneak into her room. YOU were the one to stupefy her and then YOU were the one to use the unforgivable on her. Since YOU were the one to do all of these things, then that makes YOU the one that is evil." Suddenly, the clawing stopped. "NO! NO! It wasn't me! I...YOU made me do it! I didn't want to kill her! She didn't deserve to die!"
"Yes she did!" the sadistic voice responded. "She was a mudblood!"
"She was a great woman!"
"She was filthy and dirty..."
"SHUT UP!" Draco roared at himself. He looked at Hermione (who now looked extremely scared) with pleading eyes. "Please help me get rid of them. They're driving me crazy. They're always in my head, telling me what to do! I can't stop them. I just want them out! I hate them... I hate me," he said the last part more quietly as tears stained his pale cheeks. She looked up at him, finally understanding what was going on. The past leaders of the dark side somehow possessed him and now they had gained control.
"I think I should go get Professor Dumbledore..."
"NO!" he shouted as quickly as he could. "He can't know! If you go to him... they'll kill you. It's a spell. The minute either of us goes to tell any of the authorities, YOU die. Please don't go. I can't lose you! You're all I have." Now Hermione had heard some pretty strange things today but when Malfoy confessed that she was the only person he felt he could talk to, that took the prize. He was down on his knees in front of her, clutching her hands in his.
"I have to go," she said, feeling slighting uncomfortable. "I'm going to the library to do some... research," she said quickly, trying to shake off this horrible feeling that was forming in the pit of her stomach. Maybe it was butterflies, maybe it was nerves but she couldn't tell. The way Malfoy was looking at her told her that he was okay for the time being. "While I'm gone, why don't you go lock yourself up in your room and get some more sleep, eh? I doubt that you slept a wink last night and I know that you get... cranky without enough sleep." He nodded and retreated back to his room.
She ran to the library and took out any book she could find on possessing and mind control. She also snuck into the restricted section for any books on the dark arts and the inauguration ceremony for the Dark Lord. She brought at least ten books back to her room to do some research up there. She couldn't study in the library. What if someone walked in and saw what she was reading? Possessing people and inaugurating Dark Lords isn't something that a normal person would be interested in.
She buried her head in her books for the remainder of the day, ignoring all of her friends who had stopped by to visit. Finally, at midnight, she thought she found something. The book said that at the inauguration ceremony, the upcoming Dark Lord would mix blood with that of the strongest Dark Wizards throughout history. She assumed that meant Voldemort and Slytherin, of course. Who else? Everyone else in the Dark Arts is mostly coward. She figured that most Death Eaters are only that because if they said no, the consequences would have been far greater.
After she dog-eared the page, she ran to Draco's room and pounded on his door but found a note on it instead. 'Hermione, I was starving. Went to Kitchen to get us some food. Don't worry. Be back soon, D. Malfoy' She ran back down the steps to the common room and saw him entering through the portrait hole. "I got you some food as well," he said courteously. "Thought you'd be hungry." He placed a tray of food in front of her and she dug in, not caring how much of a pig she looked like. She was hungry, starving perhaps. She hadn't eaten her breakfast and had skipped all of the other meals that day so she could research.
"Thank you," she said politely. "Okay, so I found out that it might not technically be you. I think it's Voldemort and Slytherin acting THROUGH you. Did you go through a ceremony?"
"Yes," he replied sheepishly. "But it wasn't my choice."
She didn't understand what he meant by that but decided not to question him. "All right. Well, I believe it wasn't your choice. After what I saw this morning, I see that you're fighting some type of battle inside so I trust you, but I need to know why you became the Dark Lord."
His answer consisted of one four-letter word, as if it explained everything. "Love." She looked at him, her eyebrows raised and he wished he could have had a picture of her just then. She looked so cute when she was confused. "Love is a weakness and it became mine. I had fallen in love and that is why I didn't want to be the Dark Lord. But they kidnapped her and tortured her and threatened to kill her unless I gave in to their demands. They wanted me to be their Dark Lord and if I refused then her life would be taken from this world."
"Do you regret it?"
"You mean, would I do it again? In a heartbeat. You see, I can't be with her anymore but I can see her. She's living and that's really all that matters. It's torturing not to be able to be with her but this way, she at least has a chance of being happy."
"How does she feel? Doesn't she hate not being able to be with you? Isn't she depressed? I mean, if I fell in love, I could never get over the guy."
"I know. That's why I erased yo-HER memory," he caught himself before he told her who the girl was. "I didn't want her moping and crying over what we had, what we could have had, what we were going to have."
"What do you mean by that?"
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a simple silver ring with one small diamond on top of it. "She likes the simpler things," he said, handing the ring to Hermione for her to admire it. "I was going to ask her to be mine forever. I was going to tell her that nothing could take me away from her but then..." Tears flowed down his cheeks and she went to wipe them from his face but he turned away from her. "How can you be so kind to me after what I've done? How could you ever forgive me?" Hermione figured he was talking about McGonagall's death and the past six years that he tortured her but she was wrong. "It's all my fault. You're depressed and I can't fix it. I was supposed to be there to fix it for you but instead I only make it worse."
"I'm not sure I get what you're talking about but I assure you that if anything, you're the cure for my depression. When I get mad or sad, I feel compelled to run to you, as if you can comfort me but... I don't get it. I take comfort in being in the arms of the Dark Lord? But I do understand now," she said with a smile "I take comfort not in the arms of the Dark Lord, but in the arms of a man who got caught up in something he never wanted to take part in. You are a good man, Draco Malfoy. You would have made a great husband."
"Well we'll never know now, will we?" he said glumly.
"Look at me, Draco," she commanded. He didn't listen to her instructions, afraid that she would see through his expressions. "Look at me, God damnit!" She grabbed him by the shoulders and whirled him around. "YOU make your own decisions, Draco. They hold no power over you. We'll find a way for you to be with your girlfriend again." Her heart broke at the very words. Draco was already in love with someone. Inside, she knew that she had been falling for him but now there was no hope. He had given his heart to another and she would never be able to be with him. "I'll keep researching and find a way. I found things on the inauguration of the Dark Lord. Now all we need is how to reverse the ceremony."
He flashed a warm smile at her but it meant nothing. "You can't save me. The only way I can be defeated is by my equal and I am destined to fall under his hands. That is my destiny. There's some prophecy on it. You know, you read it."
"I did?" She racked her brain for a few minutes before stumbling on it. Yes, she had read the prophecy. The Dark Lord will face his equal and he will fall. "Oh. I'm sorry," she replied while feeling a little bit silly for not remembering. "Well, then how can I help you? I can't stand seeing you so upset. For some reason, it hurts me."
He sat down on the couch and sighed. "You're the kindest person I've ever met. I don't know how you do it, but your good-hearted nature never ceases to amaze me. That's why this is so hard for me. There isn't a thing about you that I don't treasure. You're precious to me but you shouldn't know that. I tried to make sure that you'd never know that but I can't keep it from you. I... I... I can't live without you. Your touch, your smile... you drive me crazy just thinking about the way we were together. Do you remember? No, of course you don't. That's my fault. You could never remember something that has been erased from your memory. But you should know this now... I love you. You're the only girl for me." He paused for a moment, going over everything he had just said and suddenly regretted it. He hadn't meant to do that but he couldn't take it back.
"You love me?" she asked. Her mind was racing. 'I...me... I'm the girl? He fell in love with me? I fell for him? This is just getting way too weird.' She looked up into his face and saw that he was avoiding eye contact. "Don't say something like that when you don't mean it." She said, assuming he had lied to her.
"I meant it, Hermione. It was you. I didn't want you to wallow. I didn't want you to look at me in the hall and get sad. I just wanted you to be okay."
He stood with his back to her and they stayed silent for at least ten minutes. 'Why isn't she saying anything? I just poured my heart out to her. She should have SOMETHING to say, shouldn't she?' He whizzed around to see her reaction but it wasn't a pleasing one. She had passed out from the shock. He quickly picked her up without hesitation and ran as fast as his legs could take him to the Hospital Wing.
"What happened to her?" Madame Pomfrey asked as soon as they arrived.
"I don't know. One minute, we were talking. I turned my back for just one minute, give or take, and when I looked back, she was sprawled out on the floor. Is she going to be okay?"
She directed him to a bed and told him that he had better step back and let her do her job. He stepped out of the room and waited in the hallway directly outside of it. 'How could I be so stupid?' he thought to himself. 'I should've known not to overload her. Her legs must have given out. Damn whoever hexed her! I can't believe how things went tonight! I never wanted something like this to happen. If she's not all right, I blame myself.'
After about an hour of pacing back and forth in the corridor, Madame Pomfrey came out looking grim. "It's the paralysis. She's unconscious."
"Will she wake up again? That's what I want to know. Tell me! Will she wake up again?" He shook her from the shoulders, demanding the answer. Once he slowed down enough for her to respond, she replied with a solemn face.
"It's up to her. Only she can make that choice. It can go either way."
"But I thought that the spell... well she read that it had never killed anyone. How could it kill her if that's not what the curse does?"
"No... she forgot to read the fine print. You see, paralysis makes a wizard go insane from being cooped up so long. Then, if they feel stressed and overwhelmed, they may pass out but whether they wake up is up to them. Many have chosen death because their life is driving them crazy. Like I said earlier, it's up to her."
Draco ran to her side of the bed. 'So this is what she felt when I was in a coma,' he thought wryly to himself. All he could feel was his heart being wrenched from inside of him, the worst feeling in the world as far as he could tell. He sat by her side all night, telling her how he felt. Things like "I love you so much," and "You can't leave me. Never leave me. I need you too much." He held her hand and kissed it.
In the morning, Madame Pomfrey came in to the Hospital Wing and found Draco lying in bed with her, not sleeping. He looked as though he hadn't slept for even a moment. He was stroking the side of her arm, whispering incoherently into her ear.
"Dear, if you don't mind me asking, what is your new relationship with Ms. Granger? I was under the impression that you were enemies." Madame Pomfrey said, sounding frightened that his answer may be cruel or harsh. And it was.
"My relationship with Hermione is none of your concern and you'll do well to keep all of your thoughts to yourself." Even though she was a teacher, he was still the Dark Lord and he had a manner that demanded fear and respect from all those he conversed with.
He pushed a tendril of hair behind her ear, and saw a pained expression cross her face. She was fighting something inside, a war with herself. He knew what it was. Should she come back to the light or not? But he knew what he wanted her to do. It was the reason that he gave up his life. He wanted her to live. Life was the greatest adventure of them all and he hoped she knew that.
He stayed with her all day, skipping all of his classes and taking all of his meals in bed. She was all that mattered to him. Every now and then, he would feel hate course through his system and would ask himself why he still cared about her but it wore off quickly.
That night, after Madame Pomfrey left, Draco got off of the bed and stood on the side that she was facing. "I know you technically can't here me, Hermione, but listen anyway. I need you to live. You're all that I have in this world. Even when we're not together, even after Christmas, you still have a way of making me a better person, though I doubt you can save me from my path. Anyway, now you have to listen to me. I know you've never been one to listen to instructions or orders but I am commanding you to come back to me. Come back and save me. Stop being so bloody stubborn and come back to me." He choked out the words as if they were his last.
'If she won't come to me, I will go to her. I can't live without her. Maybe death is a great adventure as well. I could just join her in the after life... NO! Draco, what are you thinking? Killing yourself? There has to be a better way, one where we can both be alive, together, and happy.'
He decided to let his heart take over. He knelt down on one knee and did something even he didn't expect. "Hermione, once you wake up, I'm making you mine," he said with hope in his voice. "I will marry you and be the happiest man in the world, if only you would wake up. I need you to answer my proposal. Will you marry me?" He slipped the ring on her finger and kissed her hand lovingly. Suddenly, she began to stir. Her eyes were fluttering open. "'Mione?" he said questioningly. "Are you... are you waking up?"
Her eyes flickered open completely and she turned her head to look at Draco. "Yes," she replied with a smile. "To both of your questions."
"You'll... you'll really marry me?"
"Tell me when and where and I'm there," she said weakly. "I heard you calling. I didn't want to come back. I could see McGonagall and Sirius Black on the other side, waving to me, inviting me to join them but then I heard your voice. You were proposing and I couldn't say no. I need you too, Draco. I couldn't imagine not having you in my life. Please don't ever make me imagine not having you in my life. You're too important to me."
He captured her lips in his without uttering another word. The moment was just too perfect. The kiss had been long overdue. He had not felt the feel of her lips since Christmas and he never wanted to give that up. They got swept up in passion and they showed their love for each other all night long.
But in the back of Draco's mind, he knew it couldn't last. He was still the Dark Lord and would soon be killed by his 'equal.' It was only a matter of time.
A/N... Thanks so much to all my reviewers. I have to say that you guys keep me inspired, though I have to say, I'd like a few more reviews. It's so great when I get online an that annoying voice goes, "You've got mail." And then I check and I have like four or five reviews. It's beautiful. It's one of the greatest feelings, knowing that my work is appreciated.
This is sort of a cliffhanger. Sorry for those of you who didn't want McGonagall to get killed off. She happens to be one of my favorite characters and I would normally hate to see her die but I needed to stress the importance of the death. She died because the war is starting and you have to really try and see Draco struggling with the other half of him that wants to be evil and that wants to kill.
I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to make the story. I've always like the idea of having twelve chapters but I don't think I can fit everything into one chapter. As it is, this chapter is the longest I have written thus far.
Tell me what you want to happen in the next chapter. I'm going to try to update as quick as possible but at the current moment, I have a huge Spanish test to study for, two Spanish projects, one English performance assessment, a math project, and a history paper all due by Monday and I haven't started any of them.
Thanks to all my reviewers. Keep reviewing because I love you guys. The more you review the more I love you. (hehe, that rhymed.) Okay, bye byes for now.