I'm sorry for the last few chapters I thought they were weak but I needed them to be over so I could get to this chapter. This is the chapter that stretched me the most. It was tought but I think I just about pulled it off (although I think MaggieMay will probally have something to say about that.) It was hard and it the chapter that makes you go Oh my God.' But I love it, and I hope you will too. There's certainly some serious angst coming up for Susan and Luka.

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Chapter 18: The Chant

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.... Luka chanted over and over again, repeating the word in his head as fast as his brain would allow. He silently begged Susan with his eyes, trying to catch her attention, just for a second to give her direction. She had stepped back suddenly the moment she had laid eyes on Dix and was now stood in the same position, frozen to the ground.

Luka felt his hands began to shake first and then his whole body soon followed. He clasped his hand together, trying desperately to steady himself. He watched Dix's face, his expression transfixed. Luka imagined him to be chanting also, but a very different answer.

He tapped his foot, counting the seconds, they seemed to creep past, time seemed to be standing still. He felt his breathing become heavier as he watched Susan's emotionless expression. He watched her green eyes fill with water slowly, the only sign she could feel anything at all.

Numb. It was all she could feel. The emotion washed over her in a single wave as she caught sight of Dix. After that little else could be felt by her numb body, she watched as Dix stared into her, his eyes pleading will her to answer. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. Marry me. The question repeated over and over in her mind yet she couldn't find an answer. Suddenly everything she had dreamt of in Phoenix had happened and yet she wasn't so sure if she really wanted it anymore. Dix eyes begged for an answer but there wasn't one. She couldn't even turn to face Luka who was stood behind her. She couldn't face his eyes also, his own questions that also needed answers.

After what seemed like forever Susan turned, her face still blank. She faced Luka's questioning face, his pleading eyes and the lips she so longed to kiss. She took a deep sigh, trying to fight back the tears, and shaking her head.

I think you had better go.

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I stood frozen to the spot and unable to move as I watched Luka leave. The look in his eyes had been indescribable. So angry, so hurt, so bitter. I had told him to leave but I didn't know why.

Eventually I moved. Facing Dix I shook my head, not being able to find the right words or the right actions. Should I comfort him? Console him? Ask him to leave? Tell him to stay? I gasped as a tear broke loose, dripping down my face. I fought hard to keep the waterfall back and somehow succeeded.

Dix's face had changed again. He was victorious, gloating, happy. I shook my head slightly, unable to process what was happening to him. He was grinning, no longer on one knee. The smile spread across his face, his white teeth glimmering. I shivered, his happiness making me uncomfortable.

It dawned on me that I had made a huge mistake, Dix didn't want me. He wanted to win and now he thought he had. I began to shake my head again, more violently this time, trying to let him understand. Trying to let him know I wasn't saying yes. He was walking towards me, still smiling. He was clutching the ring between his finger and his thumb, eager for me to put it on.

No Dix, I'm sorry but I can't marry you. He began to shake his head. His expression was of anger, hatred even. I watched his features light up, his eyes almost glowing with anger. He looked scared for a moment before laughing hysterically.

his voice boomed into my face, he was only a few meters away but the sound forced me back, making me jump. His eyes widened as he took yet another step towards me.

Look Dix, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I began to shake, taking another step back.

It's okay. He stepped back and I sighed with relief, almost laughing that I had been so scared of him. This was Charlie Dix. The man I had been engaged to before, the man I had wanted to marry. Sure once or twice I had witnessed his mood swings back in Phoenix but they were down to tiredness, everyone got a little touchy now and again, right? He was a great guy. A genuinely nice man. His voice had softened and he was almost back to his normal self, I smiled. Once the wedding is planned these nerves will go. I froze, unable to move. He turned back to face me smiling and nodded strongly. It's okay hunny, you don't have to worry. I'm going to be your husband.

No Dix, I don't want to marry you. He shook his head.

It's okay to be nervous. He smiled, stepping closer to be, I understand.

No Dix, I don't love you. I love Luka. He dived towards me, his features screwed up in a violent rage. I stepped back, hitting the wall.

You FUCKING bitch! He spat the words into my face, gripping both my wrists and pinning me against the wall. I began to breath heavily, totally taken off guard by his actions.

I watched his face get angrier by the second. With every moment that passed he became less and less recognisable and more and more like a total stranger. I realised I was in danger, grave danger.

I tried to scream as his threw me to the floor, but my throat didn't allow me to let the words come out. It trapped them, confining them to my voice box. I gulped, trying to control my breathing. I winced as his foot smashed into my side, sending me spinning across the room. He repeated it kicking me harder and harder. I felt my body tense as his boot when into it again, smashing the bones and bruising the muscles. Time stopped and the few seconds seemed like hours. Finally he stopped, crouching down to where I lay on the ground.

Things will be okay Susan, you're just not used to be being around you yet. He touched my cheek roughly, using his cold hands to pull my bruised face next to him. He kissed me hard, not letting me pull away. I tried to kick but my limbs were too sore to move. I managed to touch him only once or twice before they gave way, my legs crashing back down to the floor. I gagged as his lips met mine, tearing them apart. He laughed, sitting on top of me and trying to kiss me again. I cringed, moving my face and hiding my lips. Susan, Susan, Susan... we sure are going to have fun tonight. But you really don't have to be so feisty. I mean we both know I'm going to get what I want anyway, don't we?

I closed my eyes, not wanting to know what he was doing. I shut them tight and began to pray as his hands roamed over my body. All I wanted was Luka. I had made a big mistake.