CHapter Eight--The Lake District
A/N: J.K. Rowling is still in charge of the world--bless her heart!
When morning came and she opened her eyes with a smile she popped up of bed cheerfully, then a recollection of last night made her squint her eyes shut as if trying to banish the thought from her head. She sneered and went off to shower before the day began.
On having finished showering, then dressing, she wandered out into the lounge believing that by then Snape'd be sitting there reading a newspaper or something.
He was and he looked up as she entered in. "So, crazy night, eh?" She laughed, not as believably as she could have. "What'd Dumbledore say to you?" She crashed onto her couch, lightly stubbing her toe on the table and scrunching up her nose in response to the painful stabs.
"You know, the usual…He asked what Voldemort said, where did meet him, If I recognized anyone out of his followers, did I happen to find out his next targets, whether there was trouble apparating through the storm, how may day was, whether I was excited on a new year of idiot students, whether we regularly break furniture…" His eyes smiled as the last bit of information sunk in, and she averted her eyes, and groaned.
"I can't believe it!" She whimpered direly, "You mean we actually broke furniture?! That is so cool!" She exclaimed sunnily.
"Sometimes your logic astounds me." He near-complimented.
"The better to see you with my dear…" She answered in her best grandmother-ly voice.
"So what are we doing today?" Snape stretched out and called to her, not bothering to look at her.
"Who says I'm doing somethin' with you?" She acted disgusted. "I dunno, what do you want to do?" It was Saturday and the students were arriving tomorrow! Yikes.
"Your call. I chose last time."
"Yeah, that was cool." She reminisced. "How about the zoo?"
"No."
"Roller coaster park?"
"No."
"Diagon?"
"No."
"Children's museum?"
"Nooo." He said impatiently.
"Well, stop shooting down my ideas and you won't be so annoyed…" She nit-picked. "Botanical gardens?"
"NO."
"Monster truck rally."
He shot her a look and she moved on.
"Ice Hockey match?"
"You're in Britain-not Canada. Next?"
"Roller-blading?"
"No."
"Victoria's Secret?"
"Huh?"
"Nevermind. Sea shore, desert, rain forest, evergreen forest…or Forbidden forest?"
"Georgie." He stopped her with a look as she was ticking off the locales on her fingers. "Where do you want to go? I probably won't like it, but I'm going anyway."
"Why don't we just blow shit up."
He looked amused at this and shrugged.
"In the Forbidden Forest." She added.
"No."
"Okay, the zoo next time then…"
"If that was a threat let me remind you that by next week you will have even less of a power and a presence here." He pointed out.
"Nah, I'm loud and I'll get noticed no matter what I do….Hey, Snape?"
"Yes?"
"Go take a shower you greasy moth-ball. Then we'll go somewhere after breakfast." He hadn't managed to frighten her in a long time.
He stood up and thundered off.
"And use the soap this time dear! That's what it's there for!"
He returned promptly, his hair somewhat cleaner and tied back into a ponytail. He strode into the room and slowed to a stop when he spied a pair of feet dancing on the back of the couch where the head was supposed to be. He approached the feet and saw Georgie laying on the couch but her head and her feet had switched positions. Once again. Her hair was umbrellaing out around her face and she was singing absentmindedly in her awful voice. "Everybody, do the Huki-lau! Huki-huki-huki-huki-huki-LAAaaU!"
"Welcome back oh Potion Master guy!" She noticed him and swung herself up rightly. "Whoa," she started to teeter over and Snape's arm snapped out and steadied her. "Thanks," she acknowledged. "Kinda dizzy there for a moment. Been kinda dizzy all morning."
"Maybe it's morning sickness." He smirked rudely.
"Nah, I'm as innocent as Madonna." She smiled waiting to trip him up on her implications.
"Which one?" He twinkled back. "Virgin Mother or not so Virgin Blonde Ambition?"
She just gawked at him, before slapping him on the back. "Snape, you so rock! You aren't such a hopeless guy after all!"
"Well I haven't exactly been asleep my entire life. I know what's happening in the world!" He defended angrily. They both stood up and headed for the door.
"Wow!" She kept exclaiming to herself, and shaking her head in disbelief.
On getting back to their rooms Snape sat and Georgie paced back and forth. "I've got an idea. We can play a game of cat-and-mouse, auror-and-asshole."
Snape turned on her; "I don't have any idea whatsoever what you're babbling."
"No, listen to this before you kill me. Okay, we fix up a batch of Invisibility Potion, then we have to get to some spot somewhere before the other one does. And we can charm our wands so we can send stinging shots at each other." Snape didn't look to be warming to the idea of crawling through some corridor while being pelted by stingers on his last day of leisure.
"Come on," she said slyly. Cocking her head to the side, "It'll be fun and we'll have an absolute blast. If not you can run me up the flagpole, okay?" Knowing full well there wasn't a flagpole.
"Trust me-if it sucks, you can choose what to do. Doesn't hurt to try new things. What do ya say, eh? Give it go..." She coddled.
"I'm so very sickened now because of what I'm about to agree to…"
Georgie took that for an assent to try it, so she jumped to her feet and did a happy-dance. Snape was trying to ignore her. "You'd be so embarrassing to go out with in public."
"Ah, you like it--admit it. I've given you so many good reasons to be vexed, you'll be grinning for the next 20 years…"
Snape yawned and sat back. "Well? Are you going to make the potion or do you need me?"
"Don't need you." She jumped up, "Be back in a bit."
He felt somewhat taken aback. He'd expected her to accept his help gratefully. He sat back and wondered at her impulsiveness.
She was infuriating to him, really. Sometimes she was subdued, but hardly ever truly serious. Whenever things or topics got serious for her, she always changed the subject. He figured that there was something there that perhaps she even didn't want to see, or show anyone else. Perhaps she didn't like seeing it either.
She was in Snape's classroom dragging her old and battered cauldron to the center of the room. She lit a blue-flame fire beneath the cauldron and added first the Bundimun secretion and the four horned slugs. "Yick." She sniffed the air. It smelled like road-kill festering in the sun. Dried nettles sat on a nearby desk and the spiders peeped up at her from a small glass jar. "NO, you're not getting out-sorry."
She stirred the rank stuff until it turned yellowish beige. Looks like watery vanilla pudding, she joked. She dumped in the spiders and spun around, looking for the essence of belladonna. Oh, where did she put it? She thought she remembered bringing it in, but now she wasn't quite sure anymore. "Humma-humma," she mumbled turning slowly round in a circle searching about the room, finally resting her eyes on Snape who stood in the doorway watching her. He walked right past her, ignoring her looks and tapped a cabinet against the wall with his wand, which sprang open. He reached in, grabbed something, and crossed the floor between them and held out what was in his hand for her.
She didn't look at it, but asked, "How'd you know that was what I was looking for?" She frowned hard at him.
"Assumed. If you were really so clever you would have added everything but this and the nettles. If you knew what you were doing you'd have left the nettles out until last. Not many people know to do that. It makes it more potent." He said blankly.
"Thank you," as she took the potion and turned away, not really smiling anymore. "Good thing I'm clever then?" She flared her nostrils and breathed deeply out.
"What?" He demanded.
"So you're just putting up with me because I'm clever, is that it?" She wasn't angry, just rather hurt. What if she hadn't prepared it all just so? He would've been calling her moronic.
"No." He said simply. She waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't, so she just shrugged and continued stirring.
Snape sat at his desk, like he did when class was in session, turning his hawk-like eyes with her hands as she stirred thoroughly.
She dumped in the nettles at last and announced, "It'll need to simmer for another 20 minutes." Then felt a little dumb at having to explain her process to the master. She jumped backwards and flopped up onto a desktop. She didn't talk, but she didn't really get caught up in deep thoughts either. She sat there and twirled her hair around her fingers for a moment, then tried to flatten the hornet's nest of a pony-tail onto her head, but to no avail. She was just poofy. She looked down to her hands and twisted the ring she wore on her index finger. She was thinking that perhaps this wasn't the best idea for the day.
"A gift?" Snape asked watching her fingers' actions.
"Yeah," she grumbled back. "From someone a long time ago…"
"Just a friend?" He asked blankly.
"Huh?" She snapped out of her thoughts and lashed out defensively. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, was it someone dear to you?" As if she were dense to not have understood his meaning.
"Yeah, he was dear." Her eyes flashed, what was he doing?
"Friend or lover?" As if asking coffee or tea? Paper or plastic?
She was on her feet and across the room in his face before she even realized what she was doing. "What the hell Snape? I don't see what damn business it is of yours! What a way to ask…" Her face burned with heat and rage and she wanted to throttle him. He always seemed to find a way to nose into the places she tried to keep hidden.
He stood up and practically pushed her over to get her to sit down on the nearest desk, frowning. "I only wished to know, not bring up painful recollections for you. I apologize for my abruptness, it was well-meant, I assure you." He sneered.
She turned and stared out the high dungeon window and breathed deeply a few times as she struggled to gather her wits about her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak out--well, duh, I didn't mean to do it. I'm just a little jumpy today and the question scared me a little. It wasn't directed to you, you were just my scapegoat," she smiled slyly and turned to him "Forgive me, okay?"
"Don't mention it. Forgotten." He cast a half-smile to set her mind at ease.
But his mind was processing what had happened. It was obvious she'd lost someone in her life-family, or boyfriend he'd gathered. He really couldn't pinpoint from their conversations who it could've been, but he was curious and a bit worried over that reaction. She had frightened him slightly: her quiet unresponsive answers then a sudden leap at him yelling. Perhaps, she'd been repressing emotions inside for a long time…his face turned stony, he had no desire to think like a Muggle psychologist.
She returned to the center of the room and stirred the potion. They both realized that it didn't need to be stirred at that stage, but she just wanted an excuse to move away and be by herself.
Snape stretched as he got to his feet, she watched out of the corner of her eye as he stood and swept over the floor until he was standing next to her; nonchalantly standing hovering over her not saying a word. She turned and regarded him, biting her lip, and frowning.
Snape reached out and turned her gently from the cauldron. "I think today we won't be blasting each other with anything…"
"That's what you think, buck-o…" She muttered, eyes downcast.
"But we really should finish this potion as it will most likely come in handy sometime soon…" His eyes took on a far-off look of their own. Georgie narrowed her eyes at this, assuming he was talking about midnight missions again.
He took over and with a flick of his wrist extinguished the blue flames underneath and began to deftly bottle the now clear liquid. After this was finished he tapped her cauldron and it disappeared--presumably back to her room.
"I hope it's clean," she accused lightly.
"It is." She watched as he tided up his classroom. "Do you enjoy teaching?"
He looked up briefly, then looked back at the task at hand of straightening the classroom's store cabinets. "Yes. Potion-making is what I'm best at. I am very hard on the students, but I believe it's for the best." He stated simply. "It's skill that shouldn't be taken lightly, but all too often is." Finishing, he closed the cabinet's worn wooden doors, and crossed over to where she stood.
"Yes, I enjoy it also. You'll probably write it off as some power trip, and yes, that's partly true." He smiled as she smirked at this. "But, I enjoy it. I enjoy seeing them actually grasp a concept, and I am proud when one seems to find a love for the subject."
"Wow, Snape. You're kinda poetic." She smiled as he looked a bit embarrassed, but recovered quickly into his sneer.
He patted her frizzy head and proceeded, "Well, then that just leaves what we're going to do today up in the air." She frowned at this, but knew that she now didn't feel up to this, and that he never did.
Snape proposed, "How about a leisurely day of roaming about and causing trouble?" He poked her at this, trying to lift her spirits, but still not compromising his stiff demeanor.
She lost it and grinned broadly at this. "Damn, I can't stay all pissy for long. You're good, ya know."
"Not really. You're good." With a different tone Snape assented proudly. A good-hearted, but still smart and ambitious Slytherin hadn't been seen in many years he thought to himself.
"Aw, shucks. If I could blush, I'd be doing it. But really, I'm not that good at anything." She admitted seriously.
"What are you talking about?" He virtually barked. "You're fabulous at almost every single subject. You play guitar-albeit badly, but you still play. You have a calm head. You fight like the devil." He scowled. "What aren't you good at?" Tell me so then I can pick those things apart and ridicule you if you humiliate me in front of the other students."
"Geesh, already planning revenge? And I haven't even slipped that vial into your tea yet…Opps." She joked, covering her mouth with her hand. "What I'm not good at? Hmm.." She pondered as she followed him without thinking out of the classroom and back to the lounge.
"Too many things actually. I can be petty, and very stubborn. I am awful at cooking, I'm awful at dressing up-ya know looking like a girl and all, grooming…" She put her finger in her mouth and pretend to gag. "I'm bad at building things, gardening, waking up in the morning, lying convincingly, fixing clogged drains, showing up on time, playing card games…. What else?" She asked herself.
Snape was shaking his head and his eyes were almost laughing at her, but he didn't say a word except for the password into the Common Room. "I'm horrible at writing stories, well, all writing period. I almost have to be bound and gagged to be forced to write letters longer than a page-and that's after putting off responses for a week or more. I had a creative writing class like ten years ago, I failed it early on and I was too ashamed to tell my parents so I went out every day and came back at the appointed time. Oh yeah, I'm bad at staying serious or angry for long."
"Okay! Enough!" Snape held up his hands as they stood in the lounge. "You're hopelessly flawed and a waste of air. Now grab your cloak you little fool because who knows when we'll be back."
She stood looking at him for a moment then bounded off to grab her cloak, and returned with it over her arm. "Okily, where are we going?" She asked.
"Don't know."
"Liar--you always know." He smiled at this. Yes, he always had a plan. He motioned for her to follow her to the large fireplace at the end of the room. He flicked his wrist and a fire sprung to life. He reached up to large black container with a lid and grabbed a handful of the special Hogwarts Floo powder and cast it onto the fire. Georgie groaned, and so Snape looked over in surprise and asked, "What now?"
"I always get sick when travelling by fireplace over great distances."
"Oh well." He said unmoved as he turned back to the mantle. He dug a tiny canvas bag from somewhere on his person and put another handful in the pouch. "For the return trip." He told her before she could ask.
"Mad skills you have, Snape! Mad skills…" She admitted admiringly, and a bit jokingly in the same breath.
"Lakeside's Eagle's Talon Pub." He spoke authoritatively into the fireplace and bent down stiffly, but turned back to face her. "I'm going first as it's a long distance trip, and I don't know who might be there. Besides, I might need to catch you." He snarled.
Georgie nodded and followed him with her eyes as disappeared. "Damnit, Snape. I hate this." She whined to herself.
But she spoke out the directions and closed her eyes and rushed into the enchanted flames. Her stomach lurched and churned and she held her breath for what seemed an eternity before being spit out on the other side. She tripped forward and landed on her hands and knees in the side room of what looked to be an old, dusty local pub. "Nice catch, "she said bitingly as she felt him standing next to her.
"You okay?" he inquired, not sounding too concerned.
"I hate you." She said breathlessly, as he gripped her arm and pulled her to her feet.
"You do look a little bit green," He pointed out. He led her to a chair a feet away in the abandoned room.
"Hey," she piped up when she was seated. "Is this place deserted?"
"No. It's run by a witch and her Muggle husband. They serve everyone here. We're in the Lake District. I figured since you've seen the island, you should see a lake next, then mountains, then arctic snows of course, then the moon probably--you'll fit right in…" he spoke down at her.
"Ha." She replied unfeelingly. She burped a little and he stomach felt a little steadier, so she tried to stand up. "No problem," she grinned through gritted teeth. Her head was swimming and she felt hot and sick. She just hoped she didn't throw up on Snape or something, though the look would be priceless.
Snape's heavy footfall sounded across the old floorboards as he lead her by the elbow out into the front room. He nodded curtly at a man sitting at a table concentrating at working out some figures. "You know," Georgie scratched her head and shook off Snape's cold hand from her arm. "I've been on heaps of crazy roller coasters, I've been parachuting and other crazy things, but the only thing I get sick on is the stupid Floo network. It's a necessary evil, I guess." She slapped at his arm once they were outside and he still hadn't relinquished her arm.
"Gawd, Snape. I'm not gonna roll over and die. Stop babying me." He dropped her arm abruptly.
Georgie looked around and saw they were on the outskirts of a very tiny village. It was very green and overgrown in parts up to the street. It smelled fresher here, though and the blinding sunlight made her squint and inadvertently smile. She burped again, then pried, "So what're we to do here? Pick wildflowers?"
Snape snorted. But didn't answer. He grabbed her arm again and lead her along the road into the village. Before she could protest the leading about, he put his finger to his thin lips and just nodded with his head down the road. Uh, okay…thought Georgie confusedly, Could you be any more cryptic?!
There were old shops with water stains running down the walls, and down side streets there were residences and gardens. It was nice, very quiet and secluded and all that. They strode past only three other people who looked to be just going out for an unhurried walk themselves.
They must've looked the odd pair. They both carried their cloaks over their arms, and Snape with his sallow skin, wore black pants with a black shirt on top strode down the street stealthily, looking visibly not happy. Georgie looked only a little better. She was wearing a cream-colored sweater over jeans and smiling dopily and distractedly at everything she saw.
When they reached the other end of the village, Snape pulled her over under a tree by the side of the road. Georgie burped, grinned and asked, "Now what?"
"Now we see the lake." Snape explained.
"There's a lake?"
"Yes," He spat. "Lake Windermere. It's a common tourist site."
"Cool. Never been there."
Snape took off and she struggled to meet his pace. He seemed to be on a nature binge, because he lectured her the entire way on the local flora and geology. She only half listened, even though what he was saying was fascinating. She was turning her palm over and over as a ladybug crawled up her fingers.
They soon arrived at the lake; they had actually seen it a good distance before actually reached it. It was immense! And so beautiful. They both stood in silence and appreciated it for a few moments. It seemed to melt into the surrounding slopping fields and patches of trees. So balanced, she reflected.
Snape suggested they take one of the paths, but he warned they probably wouldn't be able to go the entire distance around the lake, as it was something like 20 miles he guessed. Georgie argued that they could apparate back into the town if it got dark and they were still a ways off…. But he shot that down quickly.
The followed a footpath that would take them to an area known for it's wonderful views and a handful of bluffs poking out of the hillside, jutting down to the lake shore. It took them under two hours to reach the point, it was well-marked by signs. Georgie clambered atop one of the nearer bluffs and commented nicely on the view, but Snape obstinately chose to remain feet firmly on the ground. "Wuss," she challenged as she hopped down.
They walked around a bit at this site for a few minutes. Georgie was examining rocks, not for Geology, but for hurling into the lake. Snape sat down a few paces from the shore gingerly on the ground, lost in his thought. Georgie slid onto the ground next to him quietly. She deftly raised the rocks in her hand up and heaved it into the lake with a dull thud. Snape turned on her looking highly displeased.
"Hey, Severus," he turned towards her and rested his chin on his hand watching her. "Don't you ever get annoyed spending time with me? I mean, you're so serious and solemn and stuff and I'm a bit if an odd-ball, always joking and goofing off. You'd think we wouldn't get along."
"Are you saying that you don't like spending time with me?" He asked sternly.
"Oh, hell no!" She laughed reassuringly. "Nah, it's just I figured you'd get tired of me or want to murder me or think I'm too immature for your time and stuff. I can't help what I am." She apologized, with a complacent look on her face.
"Is that what you think?" Snape looked at the lake and laughed. A rare full, uninhibited rumble. "You aren't as smart as they say you are girl." She bristled as he called her girl. He knew that it would get her back up full-well.
He sat his hand on top of her head and pattered her hair down. She beamed-that was the only sign of affection Snape allowed himself with her. "No," He coughed and his face regained it's expressionless state once more. "I think you're fine. You've got guts and you're clever enough that I don't want to kill you all of the time." He stressed. "I think you are one of the few people with whom I enjoy my time with. I don't rightly know why, perhaps it was all forced upon me. But don't worry. If I start to hate you, believe me--you'll know it." He rationalized dryly.
"Cool." She said and sighed. Then burped, and grinned. "I think you're pretty cool too." He growled, and she jumped up and ran away before he tried to kill her.
On looking at her Mickey Mouse watch Georgie informed Snape that it was almost 2 in the afternoon, and if they were to see anything else, they'd better start now.
Snape headed back down the path in the direction they'd come, and Georgie threw one last shard into the lake, before taking off at a run to catch up with him. On the walk back into the village of Lakeside, Georgie kept hopping off ahead of Snape and he kept throwing her dirty looks. At last she stopped, "Hey, I enjoy the sunshine and air my way, you enjoy it yours." That shut the man up.
They approached the village and Snape once again put his hand under her elbow and lead her through the street and back to the pub. She bit her lip to stay quiet. She didn't see the point--she wasn't going to get lost--there was only one main road for goodness sake! And she wasn't feeling in the least bit sick anymore. Perhaps it had to do with Snape's slight paranoia about public, especially public Muggle, areas. But she figured, with all he's seen in his life, he deserved to be allowed a little bit of leeway. And he was probably justified, when one realized the precarious position he was in. She didn't like to think about it though, it still made her a little bit sick.
It hadn't taken as long to return as it had to reach the lake, so they sat down at a table and Georgie suggested the order drinks. "They serve Muggle drinks here, Georgie." He accused.
She rolled her eyes at this, and waved her hand gaily at that. "Of course! Don't you ever drink Muggle drinks?" She asked incredulously.
She flipped a small drink list at him and she dared him by saying, "Pick your poison." He scoured the list with eyes narrowed. Georgie sat back in amusement.
The man came and orders were placed, which arrived within minutes. Georgie's drink was yellow and looked fruity. She slid her wand out of her hand and tapped it on the glass, causing a wafting fog to emanate from the liquid. "I learned that in Poland," She explained. "Tickles my nose though."
Looking across at Snape's Stout, she gagged. "Gross, I hate that stuff: Too thick. But a very masculine drink. Good for you Snape." She congratulated him smartly, which he didn't appreciate.
She giggled as she lifted her drink to her lips. "Mmm, nummers. Want some? Go on, try it."
He took it reluctantly from her and tried to blow away some of the vapor, but gave up and took a quick drink.
"I like that." He nodded approvingly and handed it back to her hand, she smiled.
He looked hard at her. "You smile all the time." He remarked accusingly, making her smile even wider.
"Yup," she permitted, and drank her drink.
A couple of hours later and a few more drinks later, Georgie and Snape were a bit jollier. Snape had a healthy pallor to his skin and Georgie was grinning at everything even more than usual. Neither were anywhere near drunk, but they were a bit more sociable. Several other customers had entered into the pub, so Georgie couldn't make any more fog in her drinks.
Snape was telling her about some of the worst students that he'd ever had to teach--some going back many years. She laughed at all of his descriptions, and kept interrupting to ask unconnected questions. Pretty much just to annoy him. She learned to interpret his smiles better now. His face would display a frown or an angry snarl, but if she looked at his eyes-they were usually sparkling with amusement or laughter. He was becoming easier to read overtime, but it vexed her that he wouldn't just be plain and to the point about his emotions.
Conversation for him came a little bit easier he realized, as he babbled on about students and teachers who'd come and gone. The only thing remaining constant was his presence there. She was fascinated to know that about ten years ago Hogwarts taught Natural Sciences besides Herbology and Astronomy. "So what happened?" She gaped.
"Pressure for Wizarding families. They said they'd have no use for it in the Wizarding world, so it was dropped."
"How ridiculous." She set her glass down rather harder than she'd meant to.
Snape's eyebrows shot up questioningly. "I agree."
Georgie, looked at the neighboring tables of the couples who sat with their heads together, at the groups of men who swooped down on the bar like vultures.
"Severus, have you ever been in love?" She looked back at their own table.
He didn't take long to answer. Almost sadly, he replied, "I don't know. Maybe once. But I don't think so. And you?"
"I don't know either." She admitted with a sigh and a shrug. "Don't think I ever will either. But that doesn't bug me." She said strongly, as if trying to convince herself.
"Why ever not?" He asked angrily. "You're young, smart, bizarre…" He ticked off on his bony fingers. She groaned at this.
"Thanks, but I've tried my hand at dating. My biggest problems were with people who couldn't handle my ethnicity--especially a problem in Poland. Then there was a Muggle friend who freaked when he found I was a witch, a couple of guys scared off by intellect, a couple by my sense of humor, a couple…I don't know why the left. Men leave me. So, I give up." She voiced somberly and slowly, but smiled to show it hadn't gotten to her.
Snape sat for a moment frowning and fingering his frosty mug. After a few moments, he looked up and off at something behind her. "I've found, not from experience, but from books and other resources that love seems to happen where you least expect it. Perhaps when you give up, then it will find you. You don't choose who you love, it just sort of happens-a giant cosmic practical joke. If those boys couldn't see past all those superfluous things, then they were unworthy, and you should have cursed them."
He focused on her, "I don't think it's right for you to despair of it's ever coming. You're happy and hopeful on every other subject, you can't discriminate now."
"But you've given up," she pointed out.
"It's different with me…difficult to explain." He started unsure what to say or how to say it.
"Bullshit, it's different," She spat and glared at him. The drinks were making all formality dissolve between them. Man, they should get drunk more often and have telling conversations. "What the hell makes you so damn different from the rest of the damn world, that you don't get to have someone? Are you above emotions, or some other stoical shit?" She was hurt that he had such a low opinion of himself.
"Georgie, I have stains on my hands," He lifted his hands in a gesture of giving up. "I've done things, seen things that if you knew about you'd hate me, the world'd hate me. No woman in her right mind would want to be joined with the name Severus Snape. I'm damned for what I've done. The rest of this life has got to be penance-but it won't ever be enough. Of course I'd love to love someone, but I just can't see it. It'd hurt her, so why even start? It's pointless…" He mumbled and looked into his hands menacingly.
"Severus, Listen to me and listen good. You're the only one in this entire world who still hates you. You've moved on, and changed your life for the better. You're doing good things teaching those kids up at Hogwarts. You're a freaking genius--probably the best in Europe at Potions. You're witty, you're just, you're brave enough to spy for the ministry--even today," His eyes flashed at this. She went on, "You're generous, interesting, good and loyal. You even look kinda cute with your hair in the pony-taily thingy. The past doesn't define or dictate who you are today. It just shapes you into what you make yourself today."
"But I was Death Eater! I was the biggest dupe in the world, I could've stopped so much from happening. I could've saved so many lives if I hadn't been making those blasted potions for them," he groaned achingly.
"Severus, you're ridiculous. You deserve love all the more than! You deserve a sweet little thing who'll crush you with kindness and forgiveness and tell you it's all going to be alright. She'd forgive you! For goodness sake," She hissed, "If I can forgive you, a former Death Eater, when a Death Eater killed my brother, then what the fuck are you hesitating over? Forgive yourself already. Damnit, date someone or something already…." She rambled off…
He didn't say anything for a minute, he just stared at her as if searching her face for something besides the evident frustration. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"That's because I didn't want you to know. And I really hadn't meant to let it slip tonight either," mumbling into her glass. But looking up, she tried to play it off. "Look, I thought you'd act all weird if you knew, so now you know, okay? I know it's not your fault and I don't want you feeling guilty either--there wasn't anything you could have done. The man who did it is in Azkaban. I don't harp on it, so you don't either," she ended gruffly.
Then trying to steer the conversation back to happier thoughts she prompted quietly, "Don't you think people deserve second chances?"
"Yes. I do think they deserve second chances, we all deserve second chances. I just don't really see how I've earned the right to something like love or happiness--which has nothing to do with chances," he spoke bitterly.
She laughed for the first time in many minutes, "Severus. No one deserves anything! That's the amazing and surprising part of love. Thinking, Oh my God, this person finds me fabulous even though I'm a skanky idiot or something. If love made sense we'd all be in love a helluva lot more and it wouldn't be as special an occasion! Honestly, whatever resources you've read are crap. It's so amazing because it's so unpredictable and amazing that someone admires you for you, despite what they see and hear, and what you do to try and throw them off of the scent. Trippy ain't it?" She drank to that.
He drank with her, "How'd you get to be so smart if you've never been in love?"
"Ah, I'm very good at imagining…" She said dreamily.
Snape laughed again at this. "You never cease to amaze me." She nodded and smiled at that.
"You know, I could very easily see you happy with someone…No really!" She insisted. "I've only known you two weeks and I've managed to break your hard exterior (and your ribs) and I've seen you're a great guy, even though you never show anyone that side of you. And happiness becomes you, it becomes all of us." She covered hurriedly. "Just wait--she'll come and turn your world upside down, there'll be music and poetry and little birdies singing and all that, and you'll feel like you're in heaven. A wonderful, fantastic, perfect, dream-world. It'll be lovely, and it will happen." She looked serious.
He looked at he blankly, "Your faith and hopes are stronger than my will to believe it."
"Try." She said acidly. "You give up on things to easily." He looked slightly taken aback at this, but didn't mention it.
"I'd love to see you in love Severus, You'd be the most changed of men. It'd be spectacular to watch, you'd probably explode into sonnets and gush on and on about how fair her hair is and light her touch and all that silly stuff. It's always the quiet ones that surprise you with passionate hearts…"
"I would do no such thing." He scoffed at the portrait painted of himself, and beginning to get annoyed at the picking apart of his fate in love.
"Ah, yeah you would, don't argue. Maybe not sonnets, but I really couldn't see you doing the haiku thing…" She chided. "I'll keep my eyes open for any hottie ladies out there for you."
"I should thank you for that, but I won't." He snipped.
"Severus, you know that you're best." She praised and looked out the window at the setting sun. "Now, let's get back to Hogwarts before we miss the last dinner we'll have that'll be in peace and relative quiet."
He stood and she went to settle the bill. Georgie followed him to the side room with the fireplace and as Snape was digging around for his pouch of Floo powder, she stuck one of those funny little paper drink umbrellas into his ponytail when he wasn't looking.
She followed him through the fireplace and was very grateful to be back at Hogwarts. The day had been fun, but it had been really full too--and it was still early. She seated herself on the couch for a minute regaining her stomach and her wits about her as she thanked him once again for taking her to the Lake District and for putting up with her prattling. He just dismissed her with a wave of his hand.
They walked into the Great Hall side-by-side in high spirits, well; she was in high spirits. He was just not in bad spirits, which was the most that she could ask for. She thought it was a pity that he sat so far away, all the way down by Dumbledore and Minerva, who beamed warmly down on her as she sat down. He funnily enough, was thinking the same odd thoughts-that it was a pity that she sat all the way down by Hagrid. But he didn't give it a second thought as Dumbledore engaged him in conversation about what he'd gotten up to that day.
Georgie was listening to Hagrid rattle on about how excited he was to see the students again, especially Harry Potter and his friends, how excited he was to meet the Hogwarts Express, How he couldn't wait to hear their little voices, how he couldn't wait for classes to begin, how much he wanted to surprise the students with his new creatures….Georgie inwardly dreaded Hagrid's class. Minerva had shared some previous experiences of Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures classes. It was going to be exciting but she realized it'd also be foolhardy to not recognize that Hagrid was blind to the dangers and to the proper care of the majority of the creatures. She'd have to keep her eyes wide open in that class.
The dinner was surprisingly pleasant and merry and when it got late everyone slowly drifted off to their own rooms.
Snape found Georgie already down there when he walked in. He sighed, "Well, this is the last night before the burden of students, before the resuming of night-rounds and everything."
She strummed her guitar absent-mindedly as he went to his room and returned with some parchment and quills. Georgie pointed, "Ya know, you've got a desk and a classroom if you'd be more comfortable there, I'm likely to bug ya. Or I can go somewhere else."
"No you won't bug me." He leaned over the coffee table and began writing in a loose-hand.
"Okay," she said with obvious disbelief in her voice. She played a few songs, not really paying attention to the music or anything else. She stopped playing when Snape got to his feet. He came back with his cloak in hand, "Where are you going?" She asked delicately.
"To see Dumbledore." He offered simply. She looked sharply at his cloak as if asking him why he needed it, but he didn't volunteer the information, so she didn't press it. But she knew what he was up to and she got very upset suddenly, but tried not to let it show. It was an unreasonable, illogical anger.
"Well, have fun," she tried to sound perky, but she knew it had come out only half-assedly, and he had noticed, but he swept out the door with robes billowing out behind him.
She knew he was doing a good thing-a good thing for all of them and she should be grateful. He was working to bring down the most evil and murderous wizard the world had seen in almost 100 years, but she felt angry with him for doing it. Upset with him for gambling with his life so freely, for throwing caution to the wind at times, and for setting himself in harms way. She knew he was capable of defending himself, or Dumbledore wouldn't allow this, but she felt hopeless. It was childish and selfish, but she just didn't want her friend getting hurt.
A/N -- I apologize for this coming so slowly. We've all had many difficult things on our minds these days (our world's a strange place) and I'm adjusting to the studying-thing once more. Stay safe everyone.
A/N: J.K. Rowling is still in charge of the world--bless her heart!
When morning came and she opened her eyes with a smile she popped up of bed cheerfully, then a recollection of last night made her squint her eyes shut as if trying to banish the thought from her head. She sneered and went off to shower before the day began.
On having finished showering, then dressing, she wandered out into the lounge believing that by then Snape'd be sitting there reading a newspaper or something.
He was and he looked up as she entered in. "So, crazy night, eh?" She laughed, not as believably as she could have. "What'd Dumbledore say to you?" She crashed onto her couch, lightly stubbing her toe on the table and scrunching up her nose in response to the painful stabs.
"You know, the usual…He asked what Voldemort said, where did meet him, If I recognized anyone out of his followers, did I happen to find out his next targets, whether there was trouble apparating through the storm, how may day was, whether I was excited on a new year of idiot students, whether we regularly break furniture…" His eyes smiled as the last bit of information sunk in, and she averted her eyes, and groaned.
"I can't believe it!" She whimpered direly, "You mean we actually broke furniture?! That is so cool!" She exclaimed sunnily.
"Sometimes your logic astounds me." He near-complimented.
"The better to see you with my dear…" She answered in her best grandmother-ly voice.
"So what are we doing today?" Snape stretched out and called to her, not bothering to look at her.
"Who says I'm doing somethin' with you?" She acted disgusted. "I dunno, what do you want to do?" It was Saturday and the students were arriving tomorrow! Yikes.
"Your call. I chose last time."
"Yeah, that was cool." She reminisced. "How about the zoo?"
"No."
"Roller coaster park?"
"No."
"Diagon?"
"No."
"Children's museum?"
"Nooo." He said impatiently.
"Well, stop shooting down my ideas and you won't be so annoyed…" She nit-picked. "Botanical gardens?"
"NO."
"Monster truck rally."
He shot her a look and she moved on.
"Ice Hockey match?"
"You're in Britain-not Canada. Next?"
"Roller-blading?"
"No."
"Victoria's Secret?"
"Huh?"
"Nevermind. Sea shore, desert, rain forest, evergreen forest…or Forbidden forest?"
"Georgie." He stopped her with a look as she was ticking off the locales on her fingers. "Where do you want to go? I probably won't like it, but I'm going anyway."
"Why don't we just blow shit up."
He looked amused at this and shrugged.
"In the Forbidden Forest." She added.
"No."
"Okay, the zoo next time then…"
"If that was a threat let me remind you that by next week you will have even less of a power and a presence here." He pointed out.
"Nah, I'm loud and I'll get noticed no matter what I do….Hey, Snape?"
"Yes?"
"Go take a shower you greasy moth-ball. Then we'll go somewhere after breakfast." He hadn't managed to frighten her in a long time.
He stood up and thundered off.
"And use the soap this time dear! That's what it's there for!"
He returned promptly, his hair somewhat cleaner and tied back into a ponytail. He strode into the room and slowed to a stop when he spied a pair of feet dancing on the back of the couch where the head was supposed to be. He approached the feet and saw Georgie laying on the couch but her head and her feet had switched positions. Once again. Her hair was umbrellaing out around her face and she was singing absentmindedly in her awful voice. "Everybody, do the Huki-lau! Huki-huki-huki-huki-huki-LAAaaU!"
"Welcome back oh Potion Master guy!" She noticed him and swung herself up rightly. "Whoa," she started to teeter over and Snape's arm snapped out and steadied her. "Thanks," she acknowledged. "Kinda dizzy there for a moment. Been kinda dizzy all morning."
"Maybe it's morning sickness." He smirked rudely.
"Nah, I'm as innocent as Madonna." She smiled waiting to trip him up on her implications.
"Which one?" He twinkled back. "Virgin Mother or not so Virgin Blonde Ambition?"
She just gawked at him, before slapping him on the back. "Snape, you so rock! You aren't such a hopeless guy after all!"
"Well I haven't exactly been asleep my entire life. I know what's happening in the world!" He defended angrily. They both stood up and headed for the door.
"Wow!" She kept exclaiming to herself, and shaking her head in disbelief.
On getting back to their rooms Snape sat and Georgie paced back and forth. "I've got an idea. We can play a game of cat-and-mouse, auror-and-asshole."
Snape turned on her; "I don't have any idea whatsoever what you're babbling."
"No, listen to this before you kill me. Okay, we fix up a batch of Invisibility Potion, then we have to get to some spot somewhere before the other one does. And we can charm our wands so we can send stinging shots at each other." Snape didn't look to be warming to the idea of crawling through some corridor while being pelted by stingers on his last day of leisure.
"Come on," she said slyly. Cocking her head to the side, "It'll be fun and we'll have an absolute blast. If not you can run me up the flagpole, okay?" Knowing full well there wasn't a flagpole.
"Trust me-if it sucks, you can choose what to do. Doesn't hurt to try new things. What do ya say, eh? Give it go..." She coddled.
"I'm so very sickened now because of what I'm about to agree to…"
Georgie took that for an assent to try it, so she jumped to her feet and did a happy-dance. Snape was trying to ignore her. "You'd be so embarrassing to go out with in public."
"Ah, you like it--admit it. I've given you so many good reasons to be vexed, you'll be grinning for the next 20 years…"
Snape yawned and sat back. "Well? Are you going to make the potion or do you need me?"
"Don't need you." She jumped up, "Be back in a bit."
He felt somewhat taken aback. He'd expected her to accept his help gratefully. He sat back and wondered at her impulsiveness.
She was infuriating to him, really. Sometimes she was subdued, but hardly ever truly serious. Whenever things or topics got serious for her, she always changed the subject. He figured that there was something there that perhaps she even didn't want to see, or show anyone else. Perhaps she didn't like seeing it either.
She was in Snape's classroom dragging her old and battered cauldron to the center of the room. She lit a blue-flame fire beneath the cauldron and added first the Bundimun secretion and the four horned slugs. "Yick." She sniffed the air. It smelled like road-kill festering in the sun. Dried nettles sat on a nearby desk and the spiders peeped up at her from a small glass jar. "NO, you're not getting out-sorry."
She stirred the rank stuff until it turned yellowish beige. Looks like watery vanilla pudding, she joked. She dumped in the spiders and spun around, looking for the essence of belladonna. Oh, where did she put it? She thought she remembered bringing it in, but now she wasn't quite sure anymore. "Humma-humma," she mumbled turning slowly round in a circle searching about the room, finally resting her eyes on Snape who stood in the doorway watching her. He walked right past her, ignoring her looks and tapped a cabinet against the wall with his wand, which sprang open. He reached in, grabbed something, and crossed the floor between them and held out what was in his hand for her.
She didn't look at it, but asked, "How'd you know that was what I was looking for?" She frowned hard at him.
"Assumed. If you were really so clever you would have added everything but this and the nettles. If you knew what you were doing you'd have left the nettles out until last. Not many people know to do that. It makes it more potent." He said blankly.
"Thank you," as she took the potion and turned away, not really smiling anymore. "Good thing I'm clever then?" She flared her nostrils and breathed deeply out.
"What?" He demanded.
"So you're just putting up with me because I'm clever, is that it?" She wasn't angry, just rather hurt. What if she hadn't prepared it all just so? He would've been calling her moronic.
"No." He said simply. She waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't, so she just shrugged and continued stirring.
Snape sat at his desk, like he did when class was in session, turning his hawk-like eyes with her hands as she stirred thoroughly.
She dumped in the nettles at last and announced, "It'll need to simmer for another 20 minutes." Then felt a little dumb at having to explain her process to the master. She jumped backwards and flopped up onto a desktop. She didn't talk, but she didn't really get caught up in deep thoughts either. She sat there and twirled her hair around her fingers for a moment, then tried to flatten the hornet's nest of a pony-tail onto her head, but to no avail. She was just poofy. She looked down to her hands and twisted the ring she wore on her index finger. She was thinking that perhaps this wasn't the best idea for the day.
"A gift?" Snape asked watching her fingers' actions.
"Yeah," she grumbled back. "From someone a long time ago…"
"Just a friend?" He asked blankly.
"Huh?" She snapped out of her thoughts and lashed out defensively. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, was it someone dear to you?" As if she were dense to not have understood his meaning.
"Yeah, he was dear." Her eyes flashed, what was he doing?
"Friend or lover?" As if asking coffee or tea? Paper or plastic?
She was on her feet and across the room in his face before she even realized what she was doing. "What the hell Snape? I don't see what damn business it is of yours! What a way to ask…" Her face burned with heat and rage and she wanted to throttle him. He always seemed to find a way to nose into the places she tried to keep hidden.
He stood up and practically pushed her over to get her to sit down on the nearest desk, frowning. "I only wished to know, not bring up painful recollections for you. I apologize for my abruptness, it was well-meant, I assure you." He sneered.
She turned and stared out the high dungeon window and breathed deeply a few times as she struggled to gather her wits about her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak out--well, duh, I didn't mean to do it. I'm just a little jumpy today and the question scared me a little. It wasn't directed to you, you were just my scapegoat," she smiled slyly and turned to him "Forgive me, okay?"
"Don't mention it. Forgotten." He cast a half-smile to set her mind at ease.
But his mind was processing what had happened. It was obvious she'd lost someone in her life-family, or boyfriend he'd gathered. He really couldn't pinpoint from their conversations who it could've been, but he was curious and a bit worried over that reaction. She had frightened him slightly: her quiet unresponsive answers then a sudden leap at him yelling. Perhaps, she'd been repressing emotions inside for a long time…his face turned stony, he had no desire to think like a Muggle psychologist.
She returned to the center of the room and stirred the potion. They both realized that it didn't need to be stirred at that stage, but she just wanted an excuse to move away and be by herself.
Snape stretched as he got to his feet, she watched out of the corner of her eye as he stood and swept over the floor until he was standing next to her; nonchalantly standing hovering over her not saying a word. She turned and regarded him, biting her lip, and frowning.
Snape reached out and turned her gently from the cauldron. "I think today we won't be blasting each other with anything…"
"That's what you think, buck-o…" She muttered, eyes downcast.
"But we really should finish this potion as it will most likely come in handy sometime soon…" His eyes took on a far-off look of their own. Georgie narrowed her eyes at this, assuming he was talking about midnight missions again.
He took over and with a flick of his wrist extinguished the blue flames underneath and began to deftly bottle the now clear liquid. After this was finished he tapped her cauldron and it disappeared--presumably back to her room.
"I hope it's clean," she accused lightly.
"It is." She watched as he tided up his classroom. "Do you enjoy teaching?"
He looked up briefly, then looked back at the task at hand of straightening the classroom's store cabinets. "Yes. Potion-making is what I'm best at. I am very hard on the students, but I believe it's for the best." He stated simply. "It's skill that shouldn't be taken lightly, but all too often is." Finishing, he closed the cabinet's worn wooden doors, and crossed over to where she stood.
"Yes, I enjoy it also. You'll probably write it off as some power trip, and yes, that's partly true." He smiled as she smirked at this. "But, I enjoy it. I enjoy seeing them actually grasp a concept, and I am proud when one seems to find a love for the subject."
"Wow, Snape. You're kinda poetic." She smiled as he looked a bit embarrassed, but recovered quickly into his sneer.
He patted her frizzy head and proceeded, "Well, then that just leaves what we're going to do today up in the air." She frowned at this, but knew that she now didn't feel up to this, and that he never did.
Snape proposed, "How about a leisurely day of roaming about and causing trouble?" He poked her at this, trying to lift her spirits, but still not compromising his stiff demeanor.
She lost it and grinned broadly at this. "Damn, I can't stay all pissy for long. You're good, ya know."
"Not really. You're good." With a different tone Snape assented proudly. A good-hearted, but still smart and ambitious Slytherin hadn't been seen in many years he thought to himself.
"Aw, shucks. If I could blush, I'd be doing it. But really, I'm not that good at anything." She admitted seriously.
"What are you talking about?" He virtually barked. "You're fabulous at almost every single subject. You play guitar-albeit badly, but you still play. You have a calm head. You fight like the devil." He scowled. "What aren't you good at?" Tell me so then I can pick those things apart and ridicule you if you humiliate me in front of the other students."
"Geesh, already planning revenge? And I haven't even slipped that vial into your tea yet…Opps." She joked, covering her mouth with her hand. "What I'm not good at? Hmm.." She pondered as she followed him without thinking out of the classroom and back to the lounge.
"Too many things actually. I can be petty, and very stubborn. I am awful at cooking, I'm awful at dressing up-ya know looking like a girl and all, grooming…" She put her finger in her mouth and pretend to gag. "I'm bad at building things, gardening, waking up in the morning, lying convincingly, fixing clogged drains, showing up on time, playing card games…. What else?" She asked herself.
Snape was shaking his head and his eyes were almost laughing at her, but he didn't say a word except for the password into the Common Room. "I'm horrible at writing stories, well, all writing period. I almost have to be bound and gagged to be forced to write letters longer than a page-and that's after putting off responses for a week or more. I had a creative writing class like ten years ago, I failed it early on and I was too ashamed to tell my parents so I went out every day and came back at the appointed time. Oh yeah, I'm bad at staying serious or angry for long."
"Okay! Enough!" Snape held up his hands as they stood in the lounge. "You're hopelessly flawed and a waste of air. Now grab your cloak you little fool because who knows when we'll be back."
She stood looking at him for a moment then bounded off to grab her cloak, and returned with it over her arm. "Okily, where are we going?" She asked.
"Don't know."
"Liar--you always know." He smiled at this. Yes, he always had a plan. He motioned for her to follow her to the large fireplace at the end of the room. He flicked his wrist and a fire sprung to life. He reached up to large black container with a lid and grabbed a handful of the special Hogwarts Floo powder and cast it onto the fire. Georgie groaned, and so Snape looked over in surprise and asked, "What now?"
"I always get sick when travelling by fireplace over great distances."
"Oh well." He said unmoved as he turned back to the mantle. He dug a tiny canvas bag from somewhere on his person and put another handful in the pouch. "For the return trip." He told her before she could ask.
"Mad skills you have, Snape! Mad skills…" She admitted admiringly, and a bit jokingly in the same breath.
"Lakeside's Eagle's Talon Pub." He spoke authoritatively into the fireplace and bent down stiffly, but turned back to face her. "I'm going first as it's a long distance trip, and I don't know who might be there. Besides, I might need to catch you." He snarled.
Georgie nodded and followed him with her eyes as disappeared. "Damnit, Snape. I hate this." She whined to herself.
But she spoke out the directions and closed her eyes and rushed into the enchanted flames. Her stomach lurched and churned and she held her breath for what seemed an eternity before being spit out on the other side. She tripped forward and landed on her hands and knees in the side room of what looked to be an old, dusty local pub. "Nice catch, "she said bitingly as she felt him standing next to her.
"You okay?" he inquired, not sounding too concerned.
"I hate you." She said breathlessly, as he gripped her arm and pulled her to her feet.
"You do look a little bit green," He pointed out. He led her to a chair a feet away in the abandoned room.
"Hey," she piped up when she was seated. "Is this place deserted?"
"No. It's run by a witch and her Muggle husband. They serve everyone here. We're in the Lake District. I figured since you've seen the island, you should see a lake next, then mountains, then arctic snows of course, then the moon probably--you'll fit right in…" he spoke down at her.
"Ha." She replied unfeelingly. She burped a little and he stomach felt a little steadier, so she tried to stand up. "No problem," she grinned through gritted teeth. Her head was swimming and she felt hot and sick. She just hoped she didn't throw up on Snape or something, though the look would be priceless.
Snape's heavy footfall sounded across the old floorboards as he lead her by the elbow out into the front room. He nodded curtly at a man sitting at a table concentrating at working out some figures. "You know," Georgie scratched her head and shook off Snape's cold hand from her arm. "I've been on heaps of crazy roller coasters, I've been parachuting and other crazy things, but the only thing I get sick on is the stupid Floo network. It's a necessary evil, I guess." She slapped at his arm once they were outside and he still hadn't relinquished her arm.
"Gawd, Snape. I'm not gonna roll over and die. Stop babying me." He dropped her arm abruptly.
Georgie looked around and saw they were on the outskirts of a very tiny village. It was very green and overgrown in parts up to the street. It smelled fresher here, though and the blinding sunlight made her squint and inadvertently smile. She burped again, then pried, "So what're we to do here? Pick wildflowers?"
Snape snorted. But didn't answer. He grabbed her arm again and lead her along the road into the village. Before she could protest the leading about, he put his finger to his thin lips and just nodded with his head down the road. Uh, okay…thought Georgie confusedly, Could you be any more cryptic?!
There were old shops with water stains running down the walls, and down side streets there were residences and gardens. It was nice, very quiet and secluded and all that. They strode past only three other people who looked to be just going out for an unhurried walk themselves.
They must've looked the odd pair. They both carried their cloaks over their arms, and Snape with his sallow skin, wore black pants with a black shirt on top strode down the street stealthily, looking visibly not happy. Georgie looked only a little better. She was wearing a cream-colored sweater over jeans and smiling dopily and distractedly at everything she saw.
When they reached the other end of the village, Snape pulled her over under a tree by the side of the road. Georgie burped, grinned and asked, "Now what?"
"Now we see the lake." Snape explained.
"There's a lake?"
"Yes," He spat. "Lake Windermere. It's a common tourist site."
"Cool. Never been there."
Snape took off and she struggled to meet his pace. He seemed to be on a nature binge, because he lectured her the entire way on the local flora and geology. She only half listened, even though what he was saying was fascinating. She was turning her palm over and over as a ladybug crawled up her fingers.
They soon arrived at the lake; they had actually seen it a good distance before actually reached it. It was immense! And so beautiful. They both stood in silence and appreciated it for a few moments. It seemed to melt into the surrounding slopping fields and patches of trees. So balanced, she reflected.
Snape suggested they take one of the paths, but he warned they probably wouldn't be able to go the entire distance around the lake, as it was something like 20 miles he guessed. Georgie argued that they could apparate back into the town if it got dark and they were still a ways off…. But he shot that down quickly.
The followed a footpath that would take them to an area known for it's wonderful views and a handful of bluffs poking out of the hillside, jutting down to the lake shore. It took them under two hours to reach the point, it was well-marked by signs. Georgie clambered atop one of the nearer bluffs and commented nicely on the view, but Snape obstinately chose to remain feet firmly on the ground. "Wuss," she challenged as she hopped down.
They walked around a bit at this site for a few minutes. Georgie was examining rocks, not for Geology, but for hurling into the lake. Snape sat down a few paces from the shore gingerly on the ground, lost in his thought. Georgie slid onto the ground next to him quietly. She deftly raised the rocks in her hand up and heaved it into the lake with a dull thud. Snape turned on her looking highly displeased.
"Hey, Severus," he turned towards her and rested his chin on his hand watching her. "Don't you ever get annoyed spending time with me? I mean, you're so serious and solemn and stuff and I'm a bit if an odd-ball, always joking and goofing off. You'd think we wouldn't get along."
"Are you saying that you don't like spending time with me?" He asked sternly.
"Oh, hell no!" She laughed reassuringly. "Nah, it's just I figured you'd get tired of me or want to murder me or think I'm too immature for your time and stuff. I can't help what I am." She apologized, with a complacent look on her face.
"Is that what you think?" Snape looked at the lake and laughed. A rare full, uninhibited rumble. "You aren't as smart as they say you are girl." She bristled as he called her girl. He knew that it would get her back up full-well.
He sat his hand on top of her head and pattered her hair down. She beamed-that was the only sign of affection Snape allowed himself with her. "No," He coughed and his face regained it's expressionless state once more. "I think you're fine. You've got guts and you're clever enough that I don't want to kill you all of the time." He stressed. "I think you are one of the few people with whom I enjoy my time with. I don't rightly know why, perhaps it was all forced upon me. But don't worry. If I start to hate you, believe me--you'll know it." He rationalized dryly.
"Cool." She said and sighed. Then burped, and grinned. "I think you're pretty cool too." He growled, and she jumped up and ran away before he tried to kill her.
On looking at her Mickey Mouse watch Georgie informed Snape that it was almost 2 in the afternoon, and if they were to see anything else, they'd better start now.
Snape headed back down the path in the direction they'd come, and Georgie threw one last shard into the lake, before taking off at a run to catch up with him. On the walk back into the village of Lakeside, Georgie kept hopping off ahead of Snape and he kept throwing her dirty looks. At last she stopped, "Hey, I enjoy the sunshine and air my way, you enjoy it yours." That shut the man up.
They approached the village and Snape once again put his hand under her elbow and lead her through the street and back to the pub. She bit her lip to stay quiet. She didn't see the point--she wasn't going to get lost--there was only one main road for goodness sake! And she wasn't feeling in the least bit sick anymore. Perhaps it had to do with Snape's slight paranoia about public, especially public Muggle, areas. But she figured, with all he's seen in his life, he deserved to be allowed a little bit of leeway. And he was probably justified, when one realized the precarious position he was in. She didn't like to think about it though, it still made her a little bit sick.
It hadn't taken as long to return as it had to reach the lake, so they sat down at a table and Georgie suggested the order drinks. "They serve Muggle drinks here, Georgie." He accused.
She rolled her eyes at this, and waved her hand gaily at that. "Of course! Don't you ever drink Muggle drinks?" She asked incredulously.
She flipped a small drink list at him and she dared him by saying, "Pick your poison." He scoured the list with eyes narrowed. Georgie sat back in amusement.
The man came and orders were placed, which arrived within minutes. Georgie's drink was yellow and looked fruity. She slid her wand out of her hand and tapped it on the glass, causing a wafting fog to emanate from the liquid. "I learned that in Poland," She explained. "Tickles my nose though."
Looking across at Snape's Stout, she gagged. "Gross, I hate that stuff: Too thick. But a very masculine drink. Good for you Snape." She congratulated him smartly, which he didn't appreciate.
She giggled as she lifted her drink to her lips. "Mmm, nummers. Want some? Go on, try it."
He took it reluctantly from her and tried to blow away some of the vapor, but gave up and took a quick drink.
"I like that." He nodded approvingly and handed it back to her hand, she smiled.
He looked hard at her. "You smile all the time." He remarked accusingly, making her smile even wider.
"Yup," she permitted, and drank her drink.
A couple of hours later and a few more drinks later, Georgie and Snape were a bit jollier. Snape had a healthy pallor to his skin and Georgie was grinning at everything even more than usual. Neither were anywhere near drunk, but they were a bit more sociable. Several other customers had entered into the pub, so Georgie couldn't make any more fog in her drinks.
Snape was telling her about some of the worst students that he'd ever had to teach--some going back many years. She laughed at all of his descriptions, and kept interrupting to ask unconnected questions. Pretty much just to annoy him. She learned to interpret his smiles better now. His face would display a frown or an angry snarl, but if she looked at his eyes-they were usually sparkling with amusement or laughter. He was becoming easier to read overtime, but it vexed her that he wouldn't just be plain and to the point about his emotions.
Conversation for him came a little bit easier he realized, as he babbled on about students and teachers who'd come and gone. The only thing remaining constant was his presence there. She was fascinated to know that about ten years ago Hogwarts taught Natural Sciences besides Herbology and Astronomy. "So what happened?" She gaped.
"Pressure for Wizarding families. They said they'd have no use for it in the Wizarding world, so it was dropped."
"How ridiculous." She set her glass down rather harder than she'd meant to.
Snape's eyebrows shot up questioningly. "I agree."
Georgie, looked at the neighboring tables of the couples who sat with their heads together, at the groups of men who swooped down on the bar like vultures.
"Severus, have you ever been in love?" She looked back at their own table.
He didn't take long to answer. Almost sadly, he replied, "I don't know. Maybe once. But I don't think so. And you?"
"I don't know either." She admitted with a sigh and a shrug. "Don't think I ever will either. But that doesn't bug me." She said strongly, as if trying to convince herself.
"Why ever not?" He asked angrily. "You're young, smart, bizarre…" He ticked off on his bony fingers. She groaned at this.
"Thanks, but I've tried my hand at dating. My biggest problems were with people who couldn't handle my ethnicity--especially a problem in Poland. Then there was a Muggle friend who freaked when he found I was a witch, a couple of guys scared off by intellect, a couple by my sense of humor, a couple…I don't know why the left. Men leave me. So, I give up." She voiced somberly and slowly, but smiled to show it hadn't gotten to her.
Snape sat for a moment frowning and fingering his frosty mug. After a few moments, he looked up and off at something behind her. "I've found, not from experience, but from books and other resources that love seems to happen where you least expect it. Perhaps when you give up, then it will find you. You don't choose who you love, it just sort of happens-a giant cosmic practical joke. If those boys couldn't see past all those superfluous things, then they were unworthy, and you should have cursed them."
He focused on her, "I don't think it's right for you to despair of it's ever coming. You're happy and hopeful on every other subject, you can't discriminate now."
"But you've given up," she pointed out.
"It's different with me…difficult to explain." He started unsure what to say or how to say it.
"Bullshit, it's different," She spat and glared at him. The drinks were making all formality dissolve between them. Man, they should get drunk more often and have telling conversations. "What the hell makes you so damn different from the rest of the damn world, that you don't get to have someone? Are you above emotions, or some other stoical shit?" She was hurt that he had such a low opinion of himself.
"Georgie, I have stains on my hands," He lifted his hands in a gesture of giving up. "I've done things, seen things that if you knew about you'd hate me, the world'd hate me. No woman in her right mind would want to be joined with the name Severus Snape. I'm damned for what I've done. The rest of this life has got to be penance-but it won't ever be enough. Of course I'd love to love someone, but I just can't see it. It'd hurt her, so why even start? It's pointless…" He mumbled and looked into his hands menacingly.
"Severus, Listen to me and listen good. You're the only one in this entire world who still hates you. You've moved on, and changed your life for the better. You're doing good things teaching those kids up at Hogwarts. You're a freaking genius--probably the best in Europe at Potions. You're witty, you're just, you're brave enough to spy for the ministry--even today," His eyes flashed at this. She went on, "You're generous, interesting, good and loyal. You even look kinda cute with your hair in the pony-taily thingy. The past doesn't define or dictate who you are today. It just shapes you into what you make yourself today."
"But I was Death Eater! I was the biggest dupe in the world, I could've stopped so much from happening. I could've saved so many lives if I hadn't been making those blasted potions for them," he groaned achingly.
"Severus, you're ridiculous. You deserve love all the more than! You deserve a sweet little thing who'll crush you with kindness and forgiveness and tell you it's all going to be alright. She'd forgive you! For goodness sake," She hissed, "If I can forgive you, a former Death Eater, when a Death Eater killed my brother, then what the fuck are you hesitating over? Forgive yourself already. Damnit, date someone or something already…." She rambled off…
He didn't say anything for a minute, he just stared at her as if searching her face for something besides the evident frustration. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"That's because I didn't want you to know. And I really hadn't meant to let it slip tonight either," mumbling into her glass. But looking up, she tried to play it off. "Look, I thought you'd act all weird if you knew, so now you know, okay? I know it's not your fault and I don't want you feeling guilty either--there wasn't anything you could have done. The man who did it is in Azkaban. I don't harp on it, so you don't either," she ended gruffly.
Then trying to steer the conversation back to happier thoughts she prompted quietly, "Don't you think people deserve second chances?"
"Yes. I do think they deserve second chances, we all deserve second chances. I just don't really see how I've earned the right to something like love or happiness--which has nothing to do with chances," he spoke bitterly.
She laughed for the first time in many minutes, "Severus. No one deserves anything! That's the amazing and surprising part of love. Thinking, Oh my God, this person finds me fabulous even though I'm a skanky idiot or something. If love made sense we'd all be in love a helluva lot more and it wouldn't be as special an occasion! Honestly, whatever resources you've read are crap. It's so amazing because it's so unpredictable and amazing that someone admires you for you, despite what they see and hear, and what you do to try and throw them off of the scent. Trippy ain't it?" She drank to that.
He drank with her, "How'd you get to be so smart if you've never been in love?"
"Ah, I'm very good at imagining…" She said dreamily.
Snape laughed again at this. "You never cease to amaze me." She nodded and smiled at that.
"You know, I could very easily see you happy with someone…No really!" She insisted. "I've only known you two weeks and I've managed to break your hard exterior (and your ribs) and I've seen you're a great guy, even though you never show anyone that side of you. And happiness becomes you, it becomes all of us." She covered hurriedly. "Just wait--she'll come and turn your world upside down, there'll be music and poetry and little birdies singing and all that, and you'll feel like you're in heaven. A wonderful, fantastic, perfect, dream-world. It'll be lovely, and it will happen." She looked serious.
He looked at he blankly, "Your faith and hopes are stronger than my will to believe it."
"Try." She said acidly. "You give up on things to easily." He looked slightly taken aback at this, but didn't mention it.
"I'd love to see you in love Severus, You'd be the most changed of men. It'd be spectacular to watch, you'd probably explode into sonnets and gush on and on about how fair her hair is and light her touch and all that silly stuff. It's always the quiet ones that surprise you with passionate hearts…"
"I would do no such thing." He scoffed at the portrait painted of himself, and beginning to get annoyed at the picking apart of his fate in love.
"Ah, yeah you would, don't argue. Maybe not sonnets, but I really couldn't see you doing the haiku thing…" She chided. "I'll keep my eyes open for any hottie ladies out there for you."
"I should thank you for that, but I won't." He snipped.
"Severus, you know that you're best." She praised and looked out the window at the setting sun. "Now, let's get back to Hogwarts before we miss the last dinner we'll have that'll be in peace and relative quiet."
He stood and she went to settle the bill. Georgie followed him to the side room with the fireplace and as Snape was digging around for his pouch of Floo powder, she stuck one of those funny little paper drink umbrellas into his ponytail when he wasn't looking.
She followed him through the fireplace and was very grateful to be back at Hogwarts. The day had been fun, but it had been really full too--and it was still early. She seated herself on the couch for a minute regaining her stomach and her wits about her as she thanked him once again for taking her to the Lake District and for putting up with her prattling. He just dismissed her with a wave of his hand.
They walked into the Great Hall side-by-side in high spirits, well; she was in high spirits. He was just not in bad spirits, which was the most that she could ask for. She thought it was a pity that he sat so far away, all the way down by Dumbledore and Minerva, who beamed warmly down on her as she sat down. He funnily enough, was thinking the same odd thoughts-that it was a pity that she sat all the way down by Hagrid. But he didn't give it a second thought as Dumbledore engaged him in conversation about what he'd gotten up to that day.
Georgie was listening to Hagrid rattle on about how excited he was to see the students again, especially Harry Potter and his friends, how excited he was to meet the Hogwarts Express, How he couldn't wait to hear their little voices, how he couldn't wait for classes to begin, how much he wanted to surprise the students with his new creatures….Georgie inwardly dreaded Hagrid's class. Minerva had shared some previous experiences of Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures classes. It was going to be exciting but she realized it'd also be foolhardy to not recognize that Hagrid was blind to the dangers and to the proper care of the majority of the creatures. She'd have to keep her eyes wide open in that class.
The dinner was surprisingly pleasant and merry and when it got late everyone slowly drifted off to their own rooms.
Snape found Georgie already down there when he walked in. He sighed, "Well, this is the last night before the burden of students, before the resuming of night-rounds and everything."
She strummed her guitar absent-mindedly as he went to his room and returned with some parchment and quills. Georgie pointed, "Ya know, you've got a desk and a classroom if you'd be more comfortable there, I'm likely to bug ya. Or I can go somewhere else."
"No you won't bug me." He leaned over the coffee table and began writing in a loose-hand.
"Okay," she said with obvious disbelief in her voice. She played a few songs, not really paying attention to the music or anything else. She stopped playing when Snape got to his feet. He came back with his cloak in hand, "Where are you going?" She asked delicately.
"To see Dumbledore." He offered simply. She looked sharply at his cloak as if asking him why he needed it, but he didn't volunteer the information, so she didn't press it. But she knew what he was up to and she got very upset suddenly, but tried not to let it show. It was an unreasonable, illogical anger.
"Well, have fun," she tried to sound perky, but she knew it had come out only half-assedly, and he had noticed, but he swept out the door with robes billowing out behind him.
She knew he was doing a good thing-a good thing for all of them and she should be grateful. He was working to bring down the most evil and murderous wizard the world had seen in almost 100 years, but she felt angry with him for doing it. Upset with him for gambling with his life so freely, for throwing caution to the wind at times, and for setting himself in harms way. She knew he was capable of defending himself, or Dumbledore wouldn't allow this, but she felt hopeless. It was childish and selfish, but she just didn't want her friend getting hurt.
A/N -- I apologize for this coming so slowly. We've all had many difficult things on our minds these days (our world's a strange place) and I'm adjusting to the studying-thing once more. Stay safe everyone.