Early Parenting

Author's Note: Hey all! Sorry for the long delay, as I said before, my family and I usually go to the country to fix up our cottage there… it's a total mess… I shudder to know that I have to go there again this weekend… but anyway, here's to all of you who waited so patiently… and you too Latin Rose, lol!

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Xavier sighed contently, sitting in the recreation room, watching as Logan sat back comfortably in his sofa, clutching the remote control laughing his butt off as his 'students' began to break down.

Since Xavier had contributed to the program, he got a wire connecting to the mansion that kept everyone in the loop on how his precious gifted students were faring.

" So, how do you think they're doing?"

Magneto shrugged indifferently. " Don't know, Charles," he said truthfully. " Gambit might have blown up his child, John might have burned his baby, and Piotr, I'm particularly proud of his parenting skills. He may be made of metal, but he certainly has a knack with children!"

Xavier laughed. " Have faith in St. John and Remy. They may just surprise you!"

"My son might run over his child, and Wanda… I shudder to think what may happen to the dear child…" Magneto continued, faking tears in his eyes.

Ororo sat on Logan's lap and frowned, pressing one of the buttons to switch the cameras. " Where's my nephew? I've seen dozens of so called couples, but I've yet to see Evan and his 'wife'." She whined. " What if he accidentally stabs his wife and child?!"

Logan shrugged and flipped the channels. " I'm sure he's fine. Oh, there he is!"

Ororo got off and sat on the floor, preparing to be amazed by her nephew's fathering skills…

" Evan! That milk is for the baby!"

"I bought plenty! Don't tell me its gone again!"

" You drank it all!"

" … I'll go buy more then!"

Ororo winced as the girl smiled sweetly and seductively walked to Evan, stroking his cheek.

" Thank you sweet, since you're going anyway, mind buying me some tampons?"

Evan looked horrified and paled, surprising since he was so dark skinned.

" Please?"

Ororo laughed at Evan's defeated expression as the girl gave him a puppy-dog look.

" Alright, but only for you."

Logan, Magneto and Xavier laughed and Ororo sat on Logan's lap again.

" Man, that boy is whipped," Logan said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

" I should try that move!" Ororo exclaimed, planning on her next 'time of the month'. Logan froze and blinked, hoping she would forget about that incident.

" How about visiting my precious boys next?" Mystique suggested as she plucked the remote from Logan's frozen hand. She flipped the channels and found Todd.

" Todd sweetie, mind heating up the milk, hon?"

" Sure think Court."

" You're so sweet," the girl said as she carried their baby towards the toad-like boy. " Maybe we should make it public… our relationship… I mean jocks are so boring and they hardly keep me content."

Mystique and the rest of the people in the room gagged as they made eyes at each other.

" Ashley is so adorable," the cheerleader mused. " Just like his father."

Todd blushed and tickled the baby under his chin. " Weird name for a boy, though."

"True." A pause. " At least we're not stuck with Blob's baby girl."

Todd nodded sympathetically. " True, yo. What a cruel thing to do… naming a cute red-headed baby; Jean."

They shuddered and Mystique laughed at Xavier's expression. She flipped the channel and found John and Wanda sitting on the couch. Wanda was covering her ears while John sang.

"- You are…my fire… the one… desire!"

" Stop it!"

Wanda rushed to the baby and gently took it from John's arms, using her hex to tie a gag around his mouth. " If you do sing that ungodly thing you call music… I will make sure your mouth is gagged for the rest of your life!"

John frowned and took off the cloth from his mouth. " But luv, its th' Backstreet boys! Every baby loves the Boys back street! Ben could become a pop star!"

"Exactly!" Wanda retorted as she cradled the baby boy.

" Well… they seem to be doing just fine, Eric," Mystique said, still shocked at how Wanda held the baby.

Logan frowned and wondered how Rogue was doing. " How about Stripes? I haven't seen that girl in action yet."

As they flipped through the channels, the found Jean and Scott instead. " Let's just see this, shall we?" Xavier asked. " We can see what happened to Rogue later… I'm interested to see if they will realize their faults."

"Jean! Tara threw up again!" Scott yelled enthusiastically, running towards Jean, who was still cleaning the mess the baby made in the kitchen.

Jean sighed and stood up, knowing they were being watched; they couldn't use their powers (even though Wanda doesn't really care).

"This sucks," Jean muttered.

"Jean! Tara just doodied!" Scott squealed happily, jumping up and down, clutching the phone; dialing every number he could think of.

"What?" Jean asked.

" She just doodied… you know… pooped," Scott grinned.

Jean looked at the man, dumbfounded by his actions. " You're happy…why?"

" Because… I'm a daddy!"

Tara cooed and Scott took her. " Can you say 'da-da'?" he asked.

Tara merely blinked and burped, throwing up all over the floor again.

Xavier was bug-eyed. " That was… unexpected."

Logan nodded. " You can say that again."

" Okay… that was… unexpected," Xavier repeated.

Logan grunted and snatched the remote from Xavier. He flipped to the channel he knew Rogue would be, and waited. The camera angles showed that they weren't even in the apartment.

'Where could they be?'

Mystique switched the channel and closed her eyes immediately.

" AHHHHHH! My eyes!" she exclaimed.

Xavier frowned and looked at the screen and felt his stomach churn. " That is so disgusting!"

Suddenly, the doors opened and Rogue stepped in, the baby in Remy's arms. She screamed and covered both Remy's eyes and Mathieu's eyes.

" Logan! How could y'all watch somethin' that gross!"

" Stripes, it wasn't my fault! Mystique here changed the channel!" Logan protested, pointing a claw at the blue woman was now crying on the floor.

" That doesn't explain why you still haven't changed the channel! Don't imprint Kelly belly dancing in my son's head!"

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Author's Note: I love making fun of Kelly. He's so easy to make fun of!