Chapter 2
Carlos must have picked me up and taken me to bed because when I woke it was late and Dom was laying next to me.
"You're here." I leaned to him and kissed him. He looked so tired and so needy. The kiss felt so comforting. All the bad shit, all the problems were miles from my mind as we kissed. I knew he needed to let out his stress, so I let him lead. I let him go slow and easy and have his way with me. Then he just passed out. He looks so beautiful when he sleeps. No fronts, no lies, no bull. I kissed him on the forehead and turned around and went to sleep.
I woke up and I knew I was being a bitch but I wasn't going to let him see my vulnerable side. I didn't want him to know that I worship the ground he walks on, because I knew that since now we were in Mexico, the late nights were going to start. I knew he was going to come home smelling like a woman with his lips all raw and red, and lipstick on his shirt.
I wasn't about to let him see me in so much pain, not about to let him see me so vulnerable. I knew I was being such a bitch but it's just not fair. It's not fair the way he treats me. He doesn't love me anymore. I think he's just with me because he thinks that's the way it's supposed to be. Like he's gotten used to me. Either that, or because I'm the only one that will put up with all his bullshit.
This morning when I woke up I started throwing up. I think I need to stop drinking. This shit was not normal. I threw up all over the damn place. Ended up having to shampoo the carpet. I looked in the mirror and I looked so pale. Then I put my hand over my abdomen because I wanted to massage it and I felt it. I felt it. I pressed a little into it and there was no mistaking it. There was a knot in my abdomen. My mouth dropped when the realization hit home. I knew, I just knew, Dom would make me get rid of it. I know he doesn't want a kid involved while he fucks other people. Well, fuck him. I want this. This is the only thing I have from him. Great. I lifted my shirt further and my fuckin sides were purple and blue, I was so fuckin' sore. Bruised ribs. And I was pregnant. My kids gonna come out all fucked up and it's all Dom's fault. But I have to make sure.
Oh shit. How am I gonna do this. How am I gonna tell him.
I was already feeling like shit and plus my wounds from the wreck were killing me and I just figured out I was pregnant and I walked in the kitchen and even though Dom looked like he wasn't in a good mood, I asked him.
This time I wanted to put NOS in my car. I wanted to have my car looking good and racing good because I needed the cash. I needed the cash to see a doctor and to buy a pregnancy test. To make sure. To make sure I wasn't mistaken. To save up if Dom didn't want it and I could take care of it myself. Even if he left me.
So I started pushing his buttons to convince him to let me get them.
"If it were YOUR fucking car the thing would be pimped to the max. If it were YOUR car, it would have a digitally regulated direct-port system with a $3000.00 stereo. You'll be spending money on whores in no time."
The fucking bastard just sits there like I'm talking to his fuckin' cock.
"You fuckin' ass say something dammit!" I was losing the little bit of control I had over myself. He was acting like a total asshole just cause it was something I wanted.
"Letty...my fuse is fuckin' short. DON'T...START..." He said through clenched teeth.
"Oh. I'ma fuckin' start. You know why? Because all you care about is you. You wanna be Mr. Mac Daddy while you fuck everything that walks within a 200 mile radius." By this time I was breathing hard from the strain and I felt like I was going to throw up again.
"You selfish bitch, you need to grow the fuck up. I don't give a shit what fuckin NOS you use, but whenever you start going hungry don't fuckin' call me!"
All of a sudden Dom stood up and he got straight into defense mode. He...was...pissed.
I did not give a shit. I wasn't gonna let this go. I needed cash and I needed it now.
When Carlos pulled me away from Dom, he got pissed.
"Can't you see we're fuckin' in the middle of something?" Dom was breathing hard and his fists were clenched. It was about to get ugly.
"I don't like the tone of voice you're taking with her."
"Oh, please. Do us all a favor and fuck off." All of a sudden Dom started swinging. He punched Carlos in the face and he flew on his back bleeding. He got up though and got a lick or two in and that's when I stepped in. I gave Dom this cocky face and helped Carlos up and started to walk away with him.
"Oh, that's fucking perfect," He said. "That's perfect, Letty."
"Shut up."
"We're not done here!" He shouted, and I turned on him.
"You know what? Fuck you, Dom. My brother wants to talk to me. My brother. So cut the jealous shit because I don't fucking need it and you don't give a shit what I do anyway, as long as you control every fuckin' thing."
He had me up above my head with his fucking Italian psychosis. He acts like such a bastard. Like, his dad didn't teach him better. See there's this thing about him, he wants to use me and get it over with. That ain't workin' no more for me.
Leon grabbed me and sat me down in a chair and gave me a beer and started giving me a massage. Damn right cuz I sure as hell needed it.
"He has to act like a fuckin' asshole Leon. I mean why the hell would he give a shit if I wanna put NOS in my fuckin' car? He thinks he's king cock and tries to control every fuckin' thing. I ain't scared of his ass.
"Letty, You can't be doin' this shit. startin' shit with Dom. you're a fuckin' girl, for your sake. You are no match for Dom. You know how he is. Just sit down and talk to him, you don't have to yell to get your point across." Leon was the mediator. Always has been.
When Dom walked in the kitchen, I knew it was wrong, but I gave him this smug face, to let him know he hasn't won. And then he said it. He fuckin' said it.
"You are such a fucking bitch, Letty." He yelled in my face.
He called me a bitch. THAT is where he messed up. He turned around to the fridge and said it again.
I had it. This is where I lost it. I threw the first thing I had. The beer. I hit him smack in the side of his head. When he turned around I jumped on top of the chair and started swinging. Leon grabbed me by the waist before Dom hit me. In my mind I was like what the hell are you doing! You're pregnant and you're hurt enough already! But the other part of me was saying Fuck it! Bruise him good.
"You mother fucker! You man enough, huh? Go ahead, hit me! Hit me you bastard! Hit me! I'll knock your fuckin' teeth out!" My ribs were stabbing me with each swing and my head was blurry and banging, but I didn't give a fuck.
Leon took me to the next room and tossed me on the couch.
"Shut the hell up, or go upstairs!"
I wasn't gonna sit there and listen to his dick head ass talk shit so I went upstairs. I sat on the bed and got curious again, so I crept back down to listen. Sure enough, they were talking about me. Except Mia was there now.
... "don't call her a bitch, you're lucky she's stayed this long." Hell yeah he is. This was Mia, always on my side.
"Yeah, little girl? And what the hell's that supposed to mean?" Oh hell, Mr. Big and bad.
"You know what that means, Dominic," She must have felt bad because she kind of whispered it.
"We've all been through hell," Leon said. "You two fightin' just makes it worse. And you didn't have to go and start shit. What the hell do you care what NOS she puts in that car?"
At this point I remembered the baby, and figured they were right, so I allowed myself to be sorry.
"It was my fault, too." They all turned to look at me like I was stupid. "I mean, I threw a Corona at his head."
"Shut up," the three of them said in unison. I rolled my infamous eyes and left. I ain't putting up with their bullshit. All of a sudden that pain came back.
Carlos must have picked me up and taken me to bed because when I woke it was late and Dom was laying next to me.
"You're here." I leaned to him and kissed him. He looked so tired and so needy. The kiss felt so comforting. All the bad shit, all the problems were miles from my mind as we kissed. I knew he needed to let out his stress, so I let him lead. I let him go slow and easy and have his way with me. Then he just passed out. He looks so beautiful when he sleeps. No fronts, no lies, no bull. I kissed him on the forehead and turned around and went to sleep.
I woke up and I knew I was being a bitch but I wasn't going to let him see my vulnerable side. I didn't want him to know that I worship the ground he walks on, because I knew that since now we were in Mexico, the late nights were going to start. I knew he was going to come home smelling like a woman with his lips all raw and red, and lipstick on his shirt.
I wasn't about to let him see me in so much pain, not about to let him see me so vulnerable. I knew I was being such a bitch but it's just not fair. It's not fair the way he treats me. He doesn't love me anymore. I think he's just with me because he thinks that's the way it's supposed to be. Like he's gotten used to me. Either that, or because I'm the only one that will put up with all his bullshit.
This morning when I woke up I started throwing up. I think I need to stop drinking. This shit was not normal. I threw up all over the damn place. Ended up having to shampoo the carpet. I looked in the mirror and I looked so pale. Then I put my hand over my abdomen because I wanted to massage it and I felt it. I felt it. I pressed a little into it and there was no mistaking it. There was a knot in my abdomen. My mouth dropped when the realization hit home. I knew, I just knew, Dom would make me get rid of it. I know he doesn't want a kid involved while he fucks other people. Well, fuck him. I want this. This is the only thing I have from him. Great. I lifted my shirt further and my fuckin sides were purple and blue, I was so fuckin' sore. Bruised ribs. And I was pregnant. My kids gonna come out all fucked up and it's all Dom's fault. But I have to make sure.
Oh shit. How am I gonna do this. How am I gonna tell him.
I was already feeling like shit and plus my wounds from the wreck were killing me and I just figured out I was pregnant and I walked in the kitchen and even though Dom looked like he wasn't in a good mood, I asked him.
This time I wanted to put NOS in my car. I wanted to have my car looking good and racing good because I needed the cash. I needed the cash to see a doctor and to buy a pregnancy test. To make sure. To make sure I wasn't mistaken. To save up if Dom didn't want it and I could take care of it myself. Even if he left me.
So I started pushing his buttons to convince him to let me get them.
"If it were YOUR fucking car the thing would be pimped to the max. If it were YOUR car, it would have a digitally regulated direct-port system with a $3000.00 stereo. You'll be spending money on whores in no time."
The fucking bastard just sits there like I'm talking to his fuckin' cock.
"You fuckin' ass say something dammit!" I was losing the little bit of control I had over myself. He was acting like a total asshole just cause it was something I wanted.
"Letty...my fuse is fuckin' short. DON'T...START..." He said through clenched teeth.
"Oh. I'ma fuckin' start. You know why? Because all you care about is you. You wanna be Mr. Mac Daddy while you fuck everything that walks within a 200 mile radius." By this time I was breathing hard from the strain and I felt like I was going to throw up again.
"You selfish bitch, you need to grow the fuck up. I don't give a shit what fuckin NOS you use, but whenever you start going hungry don't fuckin' call me!"
All of a sudden Dom stood up and he got straight into defense mode. He...was...pissed.
I did not give a shit. I wasn't gonna let this go. I needed cash and I needed it now.
When Carlos pulled me away from Dom, he got pissed.
"Can't you see we're fuckin' in the middle of something?" Dom was breathing hard and his fists were clenched. It was about to get ugly.
"I don't like the tone of voice you're taking with her."
"Oh, please. Do us all a favor and fuck off." All of a sudden Dom started swinging. He punched Carlos in the face and he flew on his back bleeding. He got up though and got a lick or two in and that's when I stepped in. I gave Dom this cocky face and helped Carlos up and started to walk away with him.
"Oh, that's fucking perfect," He said. "That's perfect, Letty."
"Shut up."
"We're not done here!" He shouted, and I turned on him.
"You know what? Fuck you, Dom. My brother wants to talk to me. My brother. So cut the jealous shit because I don't fucking need it and you don't give a shit what I do anyway, as long as you control every fuckin' thing."
He had me up above my head with his fucking Italian psychosis. He acts like such a bastard. Like, his dad didn't teach him better. See there's this thing about him, he wants to use me and get it over with. That ain't workin' no more for me.
Leon grabbed me and sat me down in a chair and gave me a beer and started giving me a massage. Damn right cuz I sure as hell needed it.
"He has to act like a fuckin' asshole Leon. I mean why the hell would he give a shit if I wanna put NOS in my fuckin' car? He thinks he's king cock and tries to control every fuckin' thing. I ain't scared of his ass.
"Letty, You can't be doin' this shit. startin' shit with Dom. you're a fuckin' girl, for your sake. You are no match for Dom. You know how he is. Just sit down and talk to him, you don't have to yell to get your point across." Leon was the mediator. Always has been.
When Dom walked in the kitchen, I knew it was wrong, but I gave him this smug face, to let him know he hasn't won. And then he said it. He fuckin' said it.
"You are such a fucking bitch, Letty." He yelled in my face.
He called me a bitch. THAT is where he messed up. He turned around to the fridge and said it again.
I had it. This is where I lost it. I threw the first thing I had. The beer. I hit him smack in the side of his head. When he turned around I jumped on top of the chair and started swinging. Leon grabbed me by the waist before Dom hit me. In my mind I was like what the hell are you doing! You're pregnant and you're hurt enough already! But the other part of me was saying Fuck it! Bruise him good.
"You mother fucker! You man enough, huh? Go ahead, hit me! Hit me you bastard! Hit me! I'll knock your fuckin' teeth out!" My ribs were stabbing me with each swing and my head was blurry and banging, but I didn't give a fuck.
Leon took me to the next room and tossed me on the couch.
"Shut the hell up, or go upstairs!"
I wasn't gonna sit there and listen to his dick head ass talk shit so I went upstairs. I sat on the bed and got curious again, so I crept back down to listen. Sure enough, they were talking about me. Except Mia was there now.
... "don't call her a bitch, you're lucky she's stayed this long." Hell yeah he is. This was Mia, always on my side.
"Yeah, little girl? And what the hell's that supposed to mean?" Oh hell, Mr. Big and bad.
"You know what that means, Dominic," She must have felt bad because she kind of whispered it.
"We've all been through hell," Leon said. "You two fightin' just makes it worse. And you didn't have to go and start shit. What the hell do you care what NOS she puts in that car?"
At this point I remembered the baby, and figured they were right, so I allowed myself to be sorry.
"It was my fault, too." They all turned to look at me like I was stupid. "I mean, I threw a Corona at his head."
"Shut up," the three of them said in unison. I rolled my infamous eyes and left. I ain't putting up with their bullshit. All of a sudden that pain came back.