Early Parenting

Author's Note: I'm Baaaaack! It feels good to be free of studies for a while. My next exam is in two weeks, so for the time being, I can update! Woohoo!

Where we left off:

Rogue wants to adopt Mathieu

Jean is sick of Scott and his "I'm a daddy"

Amanda and Kurt are doing well

In this chapter: Its back to the funnies!

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As the couples returned to their apartments, the adults began to turn on their television to supervise their kids.

"So, its season two of Early Parenting," Logan commented, with a bucket of popcorn in his hands. "Who should we watch first?"

Xavier looked as if he was in deep thought. "What about Pietro and Tabitha? We haven't really seen them in a while."

Magneto nodded in approval. "That's a wonderful idea, I wonder if he's healed yet?"

Mystique snickered, as she stretched. "I wonder who the unfortunate employer would be for our dear Maximoff."

As bets began, Logan flipped through the channels and found the camera which was recording the Maximoff household.

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Maximoff Household:

Tabitha frowned as she laid Geoff in his crib. The prospect of having to leave 'her' child to work was displeasing in her opinion. A gust of wind blew her hair, and she knew Pietro had returned from his run.

"Hey Speedy," Tabby greeted her husband. "So, who did you get?"

Pietro sighed, and sat down. He didn't feel up to talking, but it was part of their agreement. Neither one of them wanted to fail, so communication was needed.

"I'm-being-forced-to-work-at-Pizza-palace," Pietro replied, not liking the idea of having to work. He could barely stay in the same location for 15 minutes, and the government expected him to work for roughly 6 to 8 hours?

Tabby smiled. "Why are you sad then? Don't you get to run delivering pizzas?"

Pietro shook his head.

"Why not?"

"I'm not a delivery boy"

"What are you?"

"The new mascot"

Tabby's eyes went wide. "You're going to be the new Pizza Palace PRINCESS?!"

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Mystique and Ororo began to laugh uncontrollably, knowing what the teens were talking about.

"Let's see what going on in the Alvers' household, shall we?" Eric/ Magneto said, wondering why his spawn was cursed with such horrible luck.

Suddenly, they all heard a gagging sound, and Ororo screamed.

" Logan! Don't move!" she yelled. " I don't know how to do the Heimliech!"

He began to turn purple.

Xavier, having fallen asleep, had no clue what was going on. Sabertooth, however, was having the time of his life laughing at Wolverine, and getting serious freaked out at what Xavier was whispering in his sleep.

"...world domination...men in tights... neuter the cat... change the kitchen tiles... dress...make me look fat?"

Finally, Ororo made a bolt of lightning hit Logan, and with the Adamantium in his skeleton, she managed to knock him unconscious... which somehow made the popcorn kernel pop out of his windpipe.

Raven/Mystique looked at her incredulously. She picked up the kernel, which looked about the size of a mustard seed. ( AN: Those are incredibly tiny)

"I thought your boyfriend was tough?"

Ororo glared at her and sat back on the couch. "Let's check on Evan."

The screen showed an empty apartment for a moment, and then two people entered the bedroom.

Ororo's eyes went wide, and Raven began to chuckle at her.

"What does that boy think he's doing?!?!"

"Well, at least we know the boy's highly experienced at these type of things."

Logan gained consciousness and saw the screen.

"What's porcupine doing?"

"It looks like he's doing his 'wife's' make-up."

Remy opened the doors to the Institute, helping Rogue with the baby things. They were to move back to the Institute as Xavier had prompted them to do. He was still in shock about Rogue's decision, but he could understand why she wanted to.

Mathieu was the only one she could touch. And she was very fond of him to begin with.

He watched as Rogue went up towards their new room, and he went on to find their 'parents'.

He entered the Rec room, and screamed.

" Mon Dieu! Why d' y' insis' on watchin' do's shows when y' know dat dere be young 'uns comin'?!" he exclaimed.

Eric denied it. "No, no, dear boy... its not our fault that Kelly seems to enjoy taking his clothes off!"

Remy snatched the remote and flipped the channel. He was surprised to see Toad and his human 'wife'. Interested in the outcome, he grabbed a seat. Logan offered him some popcorn, which he gladly took.

Tolanski Residence

"Todd, would you be a dear and zip up my dress?"

Todd nodded wholeheartedly. "So sweetums, where did you get accepted today?"

Courtney smiled, "I'm coaching the new cheerleading team!"

"That's great honey-bunch! We can see each other more!"

Courtney gasped, and gave him a great big hug. "I'm so happy! We should get married for real someday!"

Remy cringed in horror, as the two began to make out. Everyone in the room became green as they heard sounds and saw scenes that they never would have wanted to see in their lives.

" For the love of all that's sweet, switch the channel!"

Not wanting to see more, Remy did as he was...er... yelled at?

" Sea monkey has my money!"

Everyone looked at Xavier strangely, who seemed to turn into a deeper shade of red as seconds passed by.

He cleared his throat and looked at the television.

"Why, look, it's Scott and Jean!"

Remy smirked at his lame attempt to change the subject. However, he was surprised to see that it had worked.

Xavier sighed in relief, and went back to sleep, already predicting the outcome of the 'show'. Once again, Sabertooth had to concentrate hard not to hear the words coming from Xavier's mouth.

"...Nemo...good with lemon..."

Summer's Abode

"Jean! You can't believe what I got!"

Jean shook her head, not believing that Scott had already forgotten that she was a telepath.

"No Scott, I don't know," she said sarcastically, as she changed Tara's diaper for the third time that day. "And let me guess... you're going to tell me now?"

Scott seemed to ignore her bad mood and continued smiling. He leaned down and began to tickle Tara.

"Guess what, Tara? Daddy's going to work tomorrow... and when Daddy comes home, I'll get you one of the toys in daddy's work!" he cooed.

Jean clenched her jaw, not liking the feeling of being ignored.

"What was it that you were saying?" she asked.

Scott snapped out of his 'baby-mode' and turned to his 'wife'.

"I got a job at Toysworld! Isn't that great?!" Scott said perkily, skipping towards the ktichen.

"And Jean?"

Jean sighed.

"Tara just puked on your shoe."

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Author's Note: I can't help but love making Jean's life miserable. For 5 months, this will continue for her... bwahahahahahahaha.

Kelly just seems like the perfect target for nude jokes! Next chapter: More on Rogue and Remy.

As well as blurbs on Lance and Kitty, Kurt and Amanda, as well as Kelly's next victims!

TBC