Hey guys! I know that this has been a really, really, really long time coming but thank you so much for all your patience. I've just been so busy lately and things have gotten a little crazy! However this story is still something that I love to write and I'm hoping that you enjoy reading! So for the moment at least, I'm going to continue.
Please, as always, read and REVIEW!
Chapter 37: The Eyes That Rest Upon
The paper felt rough against his skin. It made him itchy, it made him uncomfortably, most of all it made him uneasy. The eyes that rest upon him made him sigh. Made him ask questions. Made him wonder if he could have done a better job.
A better job of what? Keeping her here? Making her happy? A better job of stopping her getting raped? Or simply a better job or supporting her, being there when she needed someone. A better job of listening to her. As he once again looked across at Luka he was forced to shake his head minutely. He couldn't kid anyone, least himself. He couldn't have done a better job than the man sitting here in front of him. The man sat, his head buried deeply in his hands, with a tear rolling steadily down his cheek.
Carter moved his eyes to focus on the piece of paper that remained tucked into his palm, his thumb gently rested over it. The ink was slightly blurred on one side and Carter wondered if the tears belonged to Luka or Susan.
The rest of the note was perfectly written, her writing as slanted and wavy as ever. The words stared up at him, the words crisp and echoing. The black ink stood out brightly against the contrast of the crisp white paper, the letters jumping from the page.
She's just upset. Carter blurted the words out in a large mass, the sentence crushing together in a large block of sounds, unclear and messy. Her hormones, y'know- being pregnant and everything.
We had a fight. Carter flinched.
What is wrong with you americans? I don't mean I beat her up Carter, if that's what you're thinking. He sighed as Carter began to start some apology. Luka shook his head, hushing Carter. We had a fight because I told her that he wasn't a good guy. I told her he was a bastead but she stood up for him. Sometimes I just don't get her, sometimes she is so hard to understand. Luka sighed heavily, throwing his head back. And all the time I think that I'm not good enough for her.
He looked up at Carter. Susan is amazing but she loves you, she really loves you. You just have to let her go and do this. If this is the way she has to say good bye- then let her.
I thought she already said good bye.
Maybe that wasn't enough, maybe she needs closure.
From what? From the guy that raped her. He shrugged. I guess I just don't understand it.
When, when I was attacked. Carter sighed, looking to his hands and then out of the window for a moment, before turning to face Luka, his head a mass with thoughts. He wondered if this was right, if he wanted to tell this story all over again. I was scared. Scared for the longest time. I was scared of it happening again, but it was more than that, it was more that I was scared that someone, a person, a person just the same as me, that they could make me feel so scared. I was terrified he woiukld come back, that he could make me feel that petrified and sickened and upset ever again. Carter looked to his feet.
And now? Luka's voice shattered his thoughts, making his look up once more, making him continue with his speech.
When I saw him again. Something changed. He was normal and happy and he didn't scare me anymore. It was exactly the opposite, I scared him.
Did it make you angry.
What? That he was happy? Luka nodded. No, I pitied him. Sure he had a family, a job, a normal life. But he has the memories, the guilt and the pain of knowing what he did to a person. Seeing him gave me closure, it ended it, finished it all. I think Susan needs that.
Should I go and find her? Carter shrugged.
Carter looked down at his watch before adding, Maybe she has to do this on her own, Luka. He nodded, running a hand through his hair.
I guess if she needed me with her she would have asked. Carter nodded, glancing at his watch again.
I'm sorry- I have to go. Luka nodded. I'll see myself out. He nodded again, looking up at Carter from underneath his frown.
Thanks Carter. Luka watched as he walked to the door, suddenly standing up as Carter reached it. He turned.
Why did you come?
Carter shifted from one foot to another, suddenly even more aware of the box in his hand than he had been before.
I mean, I'm glad you came but why? Carter looked at his feet, praying to inspiration.
I, uh, just came to speak to Susan. Luka still looked curious. About Abby. Carter blurted it out before he even realised he was speaking but it seemed to please Luka and he smiled slightly, letting out a small laugh as he raised a hand to wave good bye.
Ah, sorry she couldn't be here. Carter, sighed with relief, nodding his head over enthusiastically.
It's fine, I'm sure I will figure it out on my own. Luka smiled again, watching Carter as he turned for the door.
Have a goodnight and thanks, I know it must have been hard. Carter nodded.
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Hey, let me get that for you. Susan smiled, watching as the young man reached up, taking her bag gently in his hands and slinging it over his shoulder.
Oh, I can carry it. He shook his head.
Nope I insist, let me carry it for you- at least off the aeroplane. Susan started to protest. Don't worry- I won't steal it. She let out a laugh, shrugging her shoulders and smiling broadly. She watched as he smiled back at her, exposing the rows of perfect white teeth. He was dark skinned and good looking, with dark eyes and a shaven head. He was dressed smartly, wearing a black suit and white shirt, open at the collar and without a tie. They had spent the flight chatting non stop and the time had passed quickly. It had emerged that he was a doctor also and had recently applied for a job at County, somewhere in paediatrics.
A breeze hit her as she reached the exit and took a deep breath, she was relieved to be back on flat land but slightly nervous at the prospect at walking down the plane steps. It had always been the part she hated most about planes. Except for the bit where she was in the air obviously!
He must have sensed her fear because a large dark skinned hand shot back and grabbed her own, leading her down the steps carefully. When hey reached the end of the staircase he looked back, smiling broadly and letting out a laugh, his hand still clasping hers tightly.
Thank you. Her voice was quiet and barely audible against the brash noise of the aircraft behind them. He nodded, slowly letting go of her hand and nodding his head in the direction of the airport.
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