Hello! I am so very glad that I am able to post this to you all, I actually was having doubts about whether another chapter of May Change would ever be posted. I have to thank everyone who told me to keep going, everyone who told me it was okay and to everyone that told me how much they enjoyed my fanfic. However, it has to be said, the biggest thanks of all must go to Jasna and her wonderful father. Not many people would go out of their way to help someone, spending a lot of their own time recovring a file. I am so very grateful. Not only that but she had the willpower and the decency to wait, to not read ahead. I find that completely amazng. Today, I am in complete awe of Jasna!

Well, I guess this chapter is dedicated to her, enjoy it!

And, as always, please read and review!

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Chapter 40: As Darkness Descends

The darkness descended around him like a blanket. His mind had become
clouded and he felt like he was numb from head to toe. He felt nothing,
almost as if all his senses had diminished completely, leaving him with
nothing but a single photograph of her face in his mind. In the picture her
laugh resounded through the silence, her hair blew carelessly in the wind- a
mass of shimmering blonde. Her eyes sparkled an even more vivid green than
normal and her stomach had become larger, a small bump beginning to show
where his unborn child lay. His own stomach whirled in knots, spinning and
twisting over and over, never stopping for a moment as he thought of her.

His mind ticked, thumping along steadily with the pounding of his heart.
They chimed in unison, a beat and a pound, together perfectly in sync. He
couldn't remember if his eyes were open or shut- he didn't care to. All he
knew was that he was lying down and alone- horribly alone. With her picture
resounding through his mind. He had spent the day like this, since he had
watched Abby get out of the car, since he had returned home. He had missed
work but that didn't matter, the phone had been taken off the hook and
Weaver hadn't called round at the apartment yet.

An ache fell over his head once more, as his body began to seemingly
defrost. He suddenly felt violently sick, as if doing a loop in a
roller coaster. His eyes stung painfully as he tried to close them, water
seeping out from behind his eyelids and slipping silently down his face. He
tried to breathe but his chest felt as if it had been squashed down hard, he
gasped, trying to draw in oxygen. He sat up, feeling himself beginning to
sob. He rocked backwards and forwards, curling his knees up to his chest as
he tried to support himself. He wished she was here so much it physically
hurt, fears flew through his mind about her safety, wondering where she was
and not being able to help but think of all the hideous things that could be
happening to her.

He stood, walking towards the kitchen and reaching it finally. Taking a
glass he flicked on the tap, filling it to the top before taking a deep gulp
of water. The water filled his mouth, the bitter coldness of it setting his
teeth on edge as he drank. It gushed down his throat, settling itself into
his ever churning stomach.

The kitchen was dark but he knew his way around well enough to find the
photograph frame he was looking for. The cold metal felt harsh against his
warm skin, but he clutched it tightly regardless, trying to make out the
image inside. His smile was genuine and wide, as was hers. His arm was
clutched around her considerably smaller body, holding it tightly, as if
never wanting to let it slip away. He remembered the day it was taken, only
a few months after they had started dating, the honeymoon period he
supossed. He placed it back on the surface, feeling his chest beginning to
tighten once again.

Suddenly his legs became weary. His knees drooped, becoming tired and unable to support his heavy body. He slumped to the floor, his body shaking
violently as the tears overtook it, he wheezed noisily, gasping for air
viscously. Eventually it slowed as he managed to get a grip of himself.
Slowly and shakily Luka rose once again to his feet. He ran a single hand
through his messy hair, pushing it back off his sweaty forehead.

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His hand knocked nosily against the wooden door, causing Susan to jump. She
smiled to herself, getting up from her resting place on the bed and heading
for the door, tightening her robe as she reached it. She opened it almost
fully, smiling at the man in front of her.

Carter clutched take-out boxes in both hands and he entered the room
swiftly, as Susan held open the door. He placed the cartons on the
unbalanced wooden table, pulling out a chair for Susan to sit down on before
sitting down himself.

"Wow, that smells good." Carter smirked as she began to tuck into the food.

"I forget- you're eating for two now." Susan smiled, taking a mouthful of
kung pow chicken and nodding in agreement. Carter watched as she wiped her
mouth with a napkin.

"I'm hungry all the time. It will be a relief when I actually get a bit more
of a bump and people can tell I'm pregnant- people give me the strangest
looks in food stores." Carter let out a laugh, himself taking a bite from a
prawn cracker. "I still can't believe I'm actually having a baby, I don't
think it has quite sunk in just yet."

"Yeah, you a mom..." Susan smiled, shrugging.

"I just don't know what kind of a situation I'm bringing this baby into at
the moment, things just seem so difficult."

"They will get easier. I promise." Susan smiled, taking Carter's hand gently
in her.

"Thank you for being here, I have no idea why you are but I appreciate it- I
really do."

"It's okay, you need me and so I'm here." Carter smiled, squeezing Susan's
hand gently as he got up. "I think this is goodnight, it's getting late."
Susan nodded wearily, hoisting herself up and heading towards the bed.

"Night Carter."

"Goodnight Susan." And with that he left the room, looking back only once
over his shoulder to watch her rub her eyes wearily before he closed the door.

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