Okay I lied before, this is the last chapter. I figured that I would need a better ending and closing. When you read you will understand why.
Kurama's Diary June 12th
Dirty, weak, used, and of course abused. That is how I feel at this moment. I cannot put all this together. I can't put all that I have been through in one thought. Everything seems to wrong, and I feel so lost. I feel so lost in a world that I should belong in. I feel lost in a world that is small. Maybe it's my own mind in which I am lost. Either way I don't know where to go.
Hiei pretends that I am so much more to him while we lie in the same bed but while we are out in the world I am nothing but a person who fights along side him. He brushes me off like I don't matter because I am capable of taking care of myself. But in truth I stand here like a small child crying and screaming into the wind, calling for help. I want some one to love me knowing who I am. I thought Hiei would be that person but I was mistaken. He allowed me to be used and cared nothing for it. Nothing at all.
Karasu a man who loves me not because of who I am, but because I am the uncatchable. I am someone he will never have and because of that he loves me. He will hunt my dreams for nights to come and the mark that he placed on my shoulder will remind me of the torture I had to endure because of him and his obsession.
That's all that I am to either of them. A simple obsession. I mean nothing to either of them. And no matter what point I go from to move on I will still hold the hunting memories of Karasu and false feelings of love for Hiei.
This is my last stand, and these are my last words within this diary. I cannot live in a world that holds nothing for me but sorrow. I cannot live in a world were all I must endure is pain. Yes I will survive, but not like this, and not here.
Kurama's Diary June 12th
Dirty, weak, used, and of course abused. That is how I feel at this moment. I cannot put all this together. I can't put all that I have been through in one thought. Everything seems to wrong, and I feel so lost. I feel so lost in a world that I should belong in. I feel lost in a world that is small. Maybe it's my own mind in which I am lost. Either way I don't know where to go.
Hiei pretends that I am so much more to him while we lie in the same bed but while we are out in the world I am nothing but a person who fights along side him. He brushes me off like I don't matter because I am capable of taking care of myself. But in truth I stand here like a small child crying and screaming into the wind, calling for help. I want some one to love me knowing who I am. I thought Hiei would be that person but I was mistaken. He allowed me to be used and cared nothing for it. Nothing at all.
Karasu a man who loves me not because of who I am, but because I am the uncatchable. I am someone he will never have and because of that he loves me. He will hunt my dreams for nights to come and the mark that he placed on my shoulder will remind me of the torture I had to endure because of him and his obsession.
That's all that I am to either of them. A simple obsession. I mean nothing to either of them. And no matter what point I go from to move on I will still hold the hunting memories of Karasu and false feelings of love for Hiei.
This is my last stand, and these are my last words within this diary. I cannot live in a world that holds nothing for me but sorrow. I cannot live in a world were all I must endure is pain. Yes I will survive, but not like this, and not here.