"Fantastic!" marveled Hermione. Harry had just spanked Ron 37 times forcing him all the way down the stairs of the slytherin common room. Trailing close behind them was Neville who never missed a good opportunity to watch a free spanking. "I can't do this Harry!" Ron whined "You've got to" Said Harry, it's the only way we can really find out!" Neville lifted his head realizing that was more than just a mere spanking, "Find out about what?" "Never you mind" scorched Ron, his bottom swelling with scything pains. "Listen you two" Hermione broke in "If we don't get Ron really really drunk, this is never going to work." They all knew that this was true, but somehow, none of them could rest easy knowing that Filch would be missing his liquor flask at any moment. "Quickly now" she pushed the flask up to rons mouth and said now drink!" With a few gasping gulps Ron downed the contents of the flask. A few drops spilled to the floor and hissed away into a smoking vapor. "AUGHH!! W – wh – what was that awful stuff ?" sputtered Ron. "Dog Naw – It's just dog food that's been let to sit out and fermented into a very potent liquor!" Hermione informed them. "That's awful" said Neville – "and I thought that Filch had a cat anyway." "Well he does" retorted Hermione "but dog food is cheaper isn't it! Any way it ferments faster and includes an important ingredient – red food color #5" "What has that got to do with this?" asked Harry. "Nothing" Said Ron "shes just out to torture me" "I am not! It means that you will be protected if crab and goyle try to spank you!" "And why would they do that?" Said ron. Then the dementors came and sucked out all of their souls. The End.