***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***
"Hey. Wake up. C'mon, wake up!" I felt my shoulder being shaken, and opened my eyes to look around an area. I felt a breeze on my hair, and realized that my cowl had been removed. A sign over a door read Female Booking. Turning my head, I realized that I was on a bench with other women, sitting as far away from our male counterparts as we could. I moaned, and the perky little blonde beside me said, "You're next after me." I moaned as a voice called, "Callaway, Melinda?" The blonde bounced up, and chirped, "That's me!" I watched as a signboard was slid into the camera, and she turned to face the mark on the wall. She was lead off, and the bored voice called, "Catwoman, No First Name, No Middle". I stood up, and slowly edged out as people whispered. I could walk, but not run with the ankle chains still on my feet, and with the heavy chains keeping my hands behind me. The cop behind the camera asked, "What's your real name?" I just shook my head, and he shrugged. "We'll get it when we run a background on you. Stand on the line, face the mark." I slowly did, and he snapped, "Move it, sweetheart." I glared at him, then shook one of my feet, and moved even slower. He finally took my mug shot, and I was then fingerprinted, and had my retinas photographed. I was then shoved into Female Booking.
***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***
"Ow! That hurts!" Melinda complained as she was stripped and locked into a pair of hanging cuffs for a guard to do a cavity search. I waited on a bench for my turn.
"Shaddup." The guard walked over to a hose, and proceeded to spray down the blonde as she hung from the handcuffs. Melinda shrieked again at the cold water, and the guard said, "I told ya to shaddup. We can get a trusty in here for this if you want..." Melinda shook her head, and with a grin, the guard shoved the brass hose nozzle into her ass, then hummed to herself as Melinda danced in place. With a yank, she pulled the hose out, spraying dirty water onto the floor.
"Ohgodohgodohgod!" Melinda chattered to herself as the guard hosed off her ass and legs, then the dirt down the floor drain. One bored cop released Melinda and tossed her a thin hand towel to dry with, while pointing her through a door.
A third cop had removed my chains, and I slowly started to strip. She took my boots and clothes, and tossed them in a plastic crate with 'Catwoman, NFN, NMN' and the date on it. I sighed as she sealed the crate, and I walked over under the dangling cuffs.
"Ain't she co-operative?" The cop with the hose asked her partners. She locked my wrists into the cuffs, then turned a crank until I was on my toes.
"She's supposed to have given the Bat a helluva fight. Be careful with her." The third cop tossed the second a steel bar, and she quickly locked my legs apart. I grunted as my wrists took my weight. The second cop slowly approached me, and asked, "You gonna be good?" I nodded, and she snapped her rubber gloves on.
***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***
The cop had tossed me a larger towel to dry off with. It was still thin, as was the cotton jumpsuit I was issued, along with a plain cotton bra and panties. I reached back to fasten my bra, and noticed there were no hooks, just Velcro, held in place by threads. I finished drying my hair with the towel, and looked down at my issue sneakers, also yellow. Another cop asked, "You Catwoman?" I nodded, and she motioned for me to hold out my left wrist. She snapped a tight yellow plastic hospital band around my wrist, and told me, "That's not on your wrist, it's considered an escape attempt, and you get time in the hole. Understood?" I nodded, and she moved on to the next inmate in line.
As the guard slammed the cell door, Melinda leaned over to ask me, "You're really the Catwoman? Wow! I never thought I'd meet a real super-person!" I snorted and sat down, looking her over. Thin, dark blue jumpsuit. I wondered what this bubbly cheerleader type was doing here. I sighed, and leaned back against the concrete wall. She probably got on the guards' nerves as much as mine. Melinda kept on chattering about the Bat, and how she'd heard so much about him. I finally leaned over and hissed, "Shut. Up."
"Thanks. She was startin' to get real annoyin'." A thin girl across from me with a light blue jumpsuit said. She grinned, and said, "Ginny Hightower. I do burglary, B&E, and some second-story, too, but nuttin' like the scores you have, Cat. Mostly industrial places. Keep me in mind next time you wanna form up another gang."
I nodded, and a small, solidly built girl next to her said, "Raquel Montoya. Rocky to friends. Locks, safes, alarms. Keep me in mind, Cat."
Melinda sputtered, and said, "But you're all... criminals! I shouldn't be here!"
The other women roared with laughter, and Rocky said, "Pompom, why you here in the first place? Dis here is Gotham. Toughest city in da woild. Home of da Bat, da Cat, and da Joker, among others." She smiled and nodded to me.
The guard said, "She's a DUI, and the victims are Critical at General. If they die, it's bucked up to a coupla felony manslaughter charges. You get points for being co-operative, but it's still a couple of pending homicides. Maybe you'll get forty, maybe life. Depends on how the District Attorney's office wants ta handle ya. Ain't minimum mandatory great?" I looked at her, and the guard leaned on the bars and said, "The Cat, now, never has killed anyone. Pissed off a lotta insurance companies and security types, and she hangs with the weirdo crowd, which is why she's wearin' yellow. Personally, I don' mind insurance companies bein' pissed off. They've pissed me off plenty!" I grinned at her, and she said, "C'mon, ladies, time for y'all to bunk down for the night."
Melinda sputtered, "But I turned myself in! My daddy said I'd be out in no time!"
Ginny replied, "Welcome to Gotham, Pompom. Depends on how the District Attorney feels about you. Your bad luck that this is the end of the month, and an election year, and crime is up, so they need to be 'tough on crime' again and get their conviction rates up. You're lucky the Supremes put the hold on the death penalty again. Maybe you'll be lucky, and those people will pull through." She snorted, and said, "And maybe the Bat will come and visit my cell tonight, and make mad, passionate love to me." There were some chuckles at that.
"But... Daddy's a Senator! This shouldn't be happening!" Melinda wailed.
Rocky said, "Word of advice, Pompom. Don' repeat that in here. You don' wanna be dancin' from a showerhead your first night."
Melinda's mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. She sniffled, and quietly began to cry. I pulled the thin pillow over my head to muffle her, and rolled over to sleep.
***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***
With an audible pop, the lights went back on, and a cop started beating on a trash can with her nightstick. Another pounded on the cell bars with her stick, while yelling, "Up and at 'em, ladies! Youse got First Appearance to go to! Can't keep the judge waitin!" I stood up, and waited in line with the other women to be let out of the cell. One of the cops opened the door, and yelled, "Left at the end of the hall, strip off the clothes and toss 'em into the plastic trash cans, shower wit' what the trusty gives ya. Move it!"
I tossed the threadbare bra into the can, along with the panties. I waited, rolling my shoulders and arms to get the tension out. One of the guards said, "Cat. Knock it off." She touched a control, and a steel grill slid aside. She waved her nightstick, and motioned us in. An enormous dark woman in a light green jumpsuit handed us each a small bar of soap and a small plastic tube of shampoo. The guard closed the grill, and turned a valve as the green-suited trusty dumped the buckets of used clothing into a cart. With a rattle of pipes, the showers came on.
"Oh, god!" Melinda said. "My first prison shower. Oh, my god!"
People laughed, and Rocky said as she washed her hair, "Pompom, dis ain't no prison. Dis is jail. Jail is easy. Prison fer you prob'ly be Blackgate. Youse ain't gonna get no country club, youse killed people. Dey gonna come down hard on youse. Youse need to hook up wit someone like da Cat, or Ivy. Someone dat'll pertect youse. Someone respected, but stay away from the clowns. Dey like to kill people fer no reason, an' dat includes der own people."
Ginny said, "I was with Two-face for a while. That's when I got this tat." She turned to show a pair of cards, both black deuces, on her upper arm. Rocky turned to display a green plant winding up her inner arm. Ginny continued, "What you got to offer the Cat here? What are you gonna do to make it worth her while to give you her mark?" I smiled at Melinda, and she sobbed, "I... don't know. I don't know!" The guard rapped on the gate with her stick, and called, "Finish up, ladies! I'm turning off the water."
***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***
Once more, we were herded into a small room with steel benches. As the door slammed closed, an older woman with short silvery hair said, "For those of you ladies that don't know me, I'm Amanda Grayson, the Initial Appearance lawyer with the PD's Office. There's a couple of things I need to know. First, was everyone Mirandized? You all had your rights read to you?" People nodded, and she repeated the question in Spanish, French, and German. She smiled, and continued, "Did anyone make any confession or statement to the police? If you did, was there a lawyer there?"
Melinda raised her hand, and Amanda sighed, and said, "Yes, dear? What's your name, what are you charged with, and was there a lawyer there?"
"Um, my name is Melinda Callaway, um, DUI and possible vehicular manslaughter, and there was just the cops and the lady from the District Attorney's office. They said I didn't need a lawyer..." There was a collective hoot of laughter, and Melinda blushed.
Amanda sighed again, and said, "Dear, you've just made my job much more difficult. Did you request a lawyer, and they denied you one, or did you just ask their opinion?"
"Um. Their opinion. They're the cops, after all. Why would they lie?"
"Well, dear, they're allowed to." Amanda said. "Secondly, they want to close the case and move on. They don't care about you. Have you had any other trouble with the law?"
"Ah, just a couple of speeding tickets."
Amanda sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "Dear, for what it's worth now, the cops are your enemies. Don't resist them, but don't co-operate either. If I were you, I'd pray that your victims survive." She turned to look around the room, and spied me. With a smile, she said, "We have the Catwoman back with us. Or, as we so fondly know her, Jane Doe, um, "
"7373, Amanda." I said with a smile.
"Oh, yes. How silly of me. I'm so forgetful in my old age. I really should retire..." I smiled at her, and she continued, "Thank you for your help with that women's shelter, dear. I'm glad to know that it has your protection."
"My pleasure. I wish I could have done more..."
"We've discussed this. I know you say your money is from a good source, and it's well laundered, but we just can't take the chance. I do appreciate the thought, though."
I sighed. "As you wish. Still, if there's anything else I can do..."
"Can you get Bruce Wayne to contribute?" Amanda chuckled.
"Possibly. Willing or not?" I grinned.
"Willing. Definitely willing, dear!"
"I'll see what I can do."
"Wonderful. On to business. Today, Sheila Hawking, of Hawking, Conner, and Schwartz represents you. You don't often see a senior partner in court on a third degree felony charge. Bang on the door, and the guard will take you to meet her. Good luck dear."
"Thank you, Amanda. Best of luck!" She waved as I stood and made my way to the door. As I was escorted out, she was passing out forms on clipboards.
***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***
The guard opened the door to a small room, where a thin Asian woman waited for me. She stood as the door closed, and asked, "Ms. Catwoman? I'm Sheila Hawking. Glad to meet you. I've read quite a bit about you."
I smiled, and said, "The newspapers have been known to exaggerate a bit."
"Not only them, but the TV and radio stations, too. On to business. The Batman has given me a statement that you were both captured by that lunatic, the Joker, and barely managed to escape with your lives. He was in the process of freeing you when the police arrived, but was not able to do so in time. Is that the facts of the matter?" She asked.
"Essentially." I replied. "If you look at the picks, they have a small bat engraving on one end. They're his. Besides, with the way I was chained, I couldn't have done much with them." I coughed, and added, "They were supposed to let me see a doctor. We both breathed in chemical fumes. Bats could barely stand. I don't know how he got us both out of there. That should be in the police report."
"It's not." It looks like the rookie, an officer..."
"Miller."
"Miller. She's a bit um, enthusiastic." Sheila said.
"Well, I can see where she jumped to a conclusion. After all, I am the notorious Catwoman." I said with a smile.
"Maybe so, but I can still get you released on bond. Bruce Wayne has agreed to post it. I might add that he's also paying my not-inconsiderable fee. I'd like to know how you managed that!" I simply smiled, and she sighed, then asked, "Do you agree to the terms he put in this letter?" She passed me a sealed envelope.
I looked at the envelope, and recognized Alfred's precise, dignified handwriting. I smiled slightly, then tore one end and blew to open it. Extracting the letter, I saw "Bruce's" shaky handwriting. He wrote, "Do what Sheila suggests, and come to the manor. We'll discuss recent events then." He had signed it 'Elinore'.
"I do." I said, giving the letter back.
"Excellent. I'll see you in an hour or so. Judge Bentley is holding court today. Don't worry about him, he's an old softy." She smiled, and gathered her things. Standing, she stuck out her hand, and said, "I'm glad we could meet, Ms. Catwoman. Perhaps later?"
Taking her hand, I smiled, and said, "Definitely."
***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***
"Docket number 799-35653CFA, Gotham versus Jane Doe 7373, a.k.a. Catwoman." The bailiff called. I stood, and left the waiting room to stand in front of the judge. Sheila walked over to stand at my left, and the District Attorney, a slim black man, stood at my right.
The heavyset black judge looked at me over his glasses, then ran a hand through his close-cropped silver hair. He picked up some paper, looked it over, then asked me, "You're charged with possession of burglary tools, Ms. Doe. How do you plead?"
"Not guilty, your honor."
"Why am I not surprised?" The judge asked. He looked at the District Attorney, and asked, "Mr. Cammel, I take it you have something to say?"
"I do, your honor. The defendant is a notorious burglar and thief. She has an extensive record of criminal behavior dating back over fifteen years, and over most of the world. The defense motion to nolle prosse her is absurd!"
The judge grunted, and looked at Sheila. She said, "I'm not stipulating to her record. She has never been convicted on any of those charges. However, I do have a sworn statement by the Batman to submit to the court." She took a few steps to hand the statement to the bailiff, who handed it to the judge while Sheila turned and handed a copy to the DA. Everyone was silent while they read. I wondered what it said.
The District Attorney looked up and said, "But this is absurd!"
Sheila smiled, and replied, "You don't think so when he's on your side, now do you? The Batman is a fair man. In this case, he seems to be on my client's side."
The judge thought for a moment, then said, "I'm not going to dismiss the case against your client, Ms. Hawking. However, neither will I hold her. I'll ROR her with a bond of five thousand if you'll guarantee that she'll still be available for trial."
"Absolutely, your honor. I have a suitable place for her."
"Good." He signed something, then banged his gavel, and I was lead away.
***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***
Sheila was waiting for me when I checked out of jail. I felt odd, walking down the long concrete ramp in my ragged cat suit, not to mention the whistles I got. Sheila opened the passenger door to her Mercedes convertible for me. As I fastened the seat belt, I looked at her, and she smiled, and gunned the engine.
I recognized the route, but I kept silent, wondering what Sheila's instructions were.
We turned off, and as we waited at the light, I asked, "Sheila, what did the Batman's statement say?"
She smiled, and peeled out as the light changed. After a minute, she said, "I'm hungry. What about you?" Without waiting for my answer, we pulled into a McDonalds (tm). Sheila popped the trunk, and pulled out a thick file. She slammed the trunk, and said, "I'll get us something to eat if you want to wash up." My bladder complained, and I nodded.
::I'm going to have to redesign this cat suit:: I thought. ::It's almost impossible to get out of in a hurry!:: I struggled with the zipper, finally getting it down my back, past my bra, then peeling it over my hips. I yanked down my panties, and was finally able to sit on the cold ceramic seat. I sighed in relief, then blew my hair out of my face. Reaching up, I gathered my hair, pulling it over my shoulder. I sighed again, then wiped and started pulling my clothes back in place.
"I thought you had died in there." Sheila said. She passed me a wrapped burger and a box of fries. She indicated a drink, and said, "My secret vice. Chocolate shakes. I know they're not good for my hips, but..."
I smiled, and said, "This suit may look good, but it's a pain to get into." I bit into a fry, and started to unwrap my burger, then asked, "What did Bats say?"
Sheila pulled a sheet of paper out of the file and passed it to me, then sucked on her shake. I looked it over, noting that it made the police out to be fumbling idiots. ::Well, at least that rookie cop … ::
Several teenage boys barged in, making obscene remarks about their girlfriends and women in general. They saw Sheila, and started to comment about her. I looked at her, and saw her mouth and eyes tighten.
"Oooh, you must be the bitch with the Merc outside. I know you want to let me and my buds here take it for a spin, eh, bitch?" One strolled up to our booth, ignoring me in favor of Sheila. She ignored him, and he sauntered over to get in her face.
"Excuse me." I purred. "I was having a private conversation with my friend. Of course, you and your friends WERE just leaving, weren't you?"
"Who the fuck do you ..." He started to sneer as he turned to face me. He recognized me, and his face went white. He collapsed to the floor and started to whimper, "Please don't kill me! Please, Catwoman, please!"
"Well... If you and your 'buds' apologize to my friend, and if we don't see you again..." I placed the tip of my left boot on his face, and he hurriedly started to kiss it. I twitched it away, and he groveled before Sheila as he babbled. Sheila smiled a bit, then nodded.
I pushed the punk with the spike heel, and said, "One other thing, little man. I don't want to see you here again. You can leave now."
"Y...yes, ma'am, I mean, yes, Catwoman, I mean..." he babbled as he crawled away from us. He scrambled up, and fled out the door, following his long-departed 'buds'.
A stout black woman wearing a manager's nametag came over to us, and said, "Thank you, Miss Catwoman. Those boys have been nothing but trouble. You have my thanks. Can I get you anything?"
"No, thank you. It was my pleasure." I said as I finally took a bite of my burger. I made a face, then peeled open the burger to extract the pickles. "Ugh. I hate pickles."
***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***
Sheila pulled up to the massive wrought iron gates, and started to fumble in her purse. I waited a minute, then said, "The code's 2247."
"How did you..." Sheila looked at me, then shrugged, and punched it in. With a whir, the gates started to retract. Sheila set her purse back on the floorboard behind her, then accelerated through them. As we drove up the long driveway, I felt a curious sense of belonging.
"Welcome, Ms. Hawking, Ms. Catwoman." Alfred said as he held the door for me. I smiled at him, and stretched luxuriously as he handed me out. Sheila had pulled her briefcase out, and was waiting for us. Alfred closed the car door, and then held the house door as we entered, heels clicking on the polished marble floor.
"Master Bruce will be down shortly. Would you like a drink?" Alfred asked as he held the library doors for us.
"Thank you, no. We'll be fine here. Sheila said. Alfred nodded and withdrew, the oak door closing with a tiny click.
***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***
Sheila glanced at the collection of books on the shelves while I gazed out the window at nothing. I felt Bruce's thoughts as he approached the library, and turned, primping the ragged ends of my hair. Sheila noticed this, and turned as the door opened.
"Ms. Hawking. Ms. Catwoman. How are you today?" Bruce asked.
"Mr. Wayne. So nice of you to see us on such short notice." Sheila replied.
"I'm always willing to help out someone in need, Ms. Hawking."
"Please, call me Sheila. I discussed my client with you on the phone as she was being processed, but I'd like to go over it with you both, if I might." Sheila saw us both nod, then continued, "My client, Ms. Catwoman..."
"Please, call me Selina." I asked.
"All right then, Selina. You are restricted to the county limits of Gotham. If you wish to travel beyond those limits, you must notify Probation and Parole with your reasons. They will consider your reasons, and decide to grant you permission. In addition, you will not associate with known criminals. You will account for your time during the day. If you do not do so, Mr. Wayne will lose his bond, and a bench warrant will be issued for your arrest. Do you understand these restrictions, and agree to abide by them?"
I glanced at Bruce, and then said, "I do."
Sheila glanced at Bruce, then said, "As guarantor of her bond, her actions are your responsibility. Do you agree to this?"
Bruce replied, "I do."
With a smile, Sheila said, "Excellent. Do you have any plans, Mr. Wayne?"
Bruce glanced at me, then said with a smile; "I had in mind a position at WayneCorp. I believe that she needs to learn the value of an honest dollar."
I started to screech, "An honest dollar?"
Sheila interrupted me by saying, "I'll leave her in your capable hands, Mr. Wayne." He smiled, and she rose, saying, "I'll see myself out. Selina, I'll be in touch regarding your next court appearance. Have a nice day!"
### Chapter 2: Of Lawyers and Cons
***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***