A/N: Hi!! Another update, thankfully a lot sooner than the last one. It would have been a bit more sooner, but I was busy last week with reading the fifth book!!!!! Three years of waiting, I couldn't believe she made us wait that long. Then again…this story of my own has been going on for a year and its only half as long.
I'd love to know what you guys thought of the book; I guess my expectations were a bit too high. A few things I completely expected, a few things I never did, but it was still pretty good, I thought; and I'm still left in denial and shock over what happened. A few things in this story don't go with the fifth book, but I think most of it still could.
SparkleTangerine: Thank you Thank you! I'm thrilled how much you like Eve and everything. I try to be as imaginative as possible. In this chapter, not what you expect between Eve and Harry, and the Draco-Ron Herm triangle goes deeper. Keep reading!
A Very Interested Reader: Thanks for reading and I'm glad u liked the last chappie. The blue snow is my personal tribute to the Cassie Claire Draco trilogy which has a scene with blue snow in it (the best hp fanfiction ever written, in my opinion) and also because I myself have never seen snow and I've always dreamed about it.
The idea of the effects of the potion just came out of nowhere, I thought of it after I wrote the scene where Draco drank the potion. I just sometimes let the story write itself as it comes to me; that way I can surprise myself. (if I surprise myself, then surely I'll surprise the readers!)
I'm keeping shut about ur predictions, don't want to ruin anything….
Oh yeah, and I wish Dumbledore would have learned from past mistakes (or rather, lack of doing a certain something) in the fifth book…sigh, will say no more…
Yes! Harry's character is great like that, we love him because of his strengths, or even when he shows his faults, but when he's amazing, he's….amazing! lol. Thanks for the continued exquisite reviews, they keep me writing.
Potterlover: Are you still reading?? I hope so!! I hope u like this next chapter.
In this chapter: Everything begins to fall apart: the school is closing, and lots of angsty, conflicting emotions. Isn't it sad how those we love the most are those we can hurt the most? Oh yeah, and I thought the following poem was so perfect for this chapter, I had to put it in.
Ask me no more: the moon may draw the sea;
The cloud may stoop from heaven and take the shape,
With fold to fold, of mountain or of cape;
But O too fond, when have I answered thee?
Ask me no more.
Ask me no more: what answer should I give?
I love not hollow cheek or faded eye:
Yet, O my friend, I will not have thee die!
Ask me no more, lest I should bid thee live;
Ask me no more.
Ask me no more: thy fate and mine are sealed;
I strove against the stream and all in vain;
Let the great river take me to the main.
No more, dear love, for at a touch I yield;
Ask me no more.
Chapter Twenty Nine: Ask Me No More
Much to Hermione's dismay, Snape actually arrived in class that day. He walked in as sour faced as ever, as if the mere presence of teenagers annoyed him unbearably.
"The Headmaster has requested that all teachers must be in classes all the time; which means, unfortunately for you all, that you will no longer get by easily with a substitute. I had a look at the quiz she had prepared for you today." He paused, staring nastily at them. "All I can say is that fifth years could have easily passed that quiz. So, either she was being very nice, or she has even less confidence in your abilities as I do. Nevertheless, I'm not going to be as nice."
"I'm going to kill Eve," Hermione muttered under gritted teeth.
"Take out your cauldrons, this will be a practical quiz. Part of it will be on Polyjuice Potion, as originally planned."
Hermione immediately raised her hand. "Sir, Polyjuice Potion takes about a month to make. How are we--"
"Of course I know that," he snapped. "Don't insult my intelligence: five points." Hermione lowered her hand and grumbled. Snape went on. "I have a stash of Polyjuice Potions made last month by some fifth years who have, quite predictably, abysmally failed at making them. Part of your quiz will be to write down the correct ingredients, their amounts, and procedure of the potion, and then to identify what is wrong with the potion you are assigned to, and to correct it. After the Polyjuice Potion, you will each be given another potion which you must identify, and fill in the last ingredient of. And then I will announce the final part of the quiz."
A few groans rose from the class, but a smiled crept on Hermione's face. She began to work, and right before handing in her corrected potion, she secretly poured some of the lumpy potion into a bottle and hid it in her bag—who knew when it may come in handy.
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"Harry, what's wrong?"
He looked up into Eve's green eyes furrowed in concern. "It's nothing."
She frowned. "You know whenever anybody says that it means it's something."
Harry sighed. He had been thinking about his dream, and what Eve had said to him in a trance the other night. He would have to go to Doom's Hill tomorrow. But it wasn't bothering him that him and Ron still hadn't formed a plan to get there. It wasn't that Sirius or Hagrid warning him not to go there meant it would be dangerous. It wasn't that he would see where his parents were buried. It was that he would have to leave Eve and Hermione alone during a time when Voldemort was threatening to attack the school. If anything were to happen while they were gone…
"Harry, talk to me." Eve leaned over and held his hands in her own gloved ones. School had finally finished that day, and while everyone had run off to get ready for the Ball, they chose to enjoy some privacy under the shade of a tree by the lake—the same place where his father and his friends had hung out decades before. The lake had frozen and the snow had stopped, blanketing the grounds in and sprinkling the trees like powder. Eve had tied a green and silver scarf around her neck, her hair flying around her face in the cold wind, which gave a pink tinge to her cheeks. The last thing Harry wanted was to worry her by telling her what he was thinking. He let go of her grasp, but she pursed her lips, raised her hands and lifted off his glasses.
"Hey, give me those! I really don't feel like doing this, honestly--"
Eve held the glasses away from him, and steadied his face with her other hand, staring deep into his eyes. Harry wrenched his face away and grabbed his glasses from her, which she relinquished grudgingly.
"Don't do that."
"You're going to Doom's Hill tomorrow."
"Yeah," he grunted. "So?"
"By yourself?"
He stared at her. "Don't you know?"
"No, you didn't give me a chance to see."
It took all his strength to wrench his lips apart. "I'm going with Ron."
"And?"
"And what? That's all."
"You're not taking Hermione? Do you know how upset she'll be when she finds out?"
"Yes. And knowing her, she'll probably try to keep us from going. Which is exactly why we're not telling her."
"Well of course she won't let you. It's not exactly the best time to go running off by yourself without telling anyone, is it?"
"Listen, I don't need that lecture about staying a good boy, being careful and keeping away from danger. I've already gotten it a million times by everybody else I know."
"Then don't go."
"I have to. You don't understand."
Eve was silent for a while, then she said, looking downward, avoiding Harry's gaze. "Your mother told you, didn't she?"
His mouth fell open like an unhinged mailbox door. "How did you know that?"
"That night…when I just woke up after saving Ron…."
"What do you remember?" Harry asked breathlessly.
"Harry, I saw…I saw…"
He was silent, but his eyes were pleading for her to continue.
"I saw your Mum." He could tell this was not all she saw, but since she seemed to not want to tell him, he didn't ask. She looked up at him. "Oh, Harry, she was so beautiful," she broke off, her eyes shiny.
"Did you see…heaven?"
"Not exactly. I'm not sure where I was, but I saw her. She said she had something for me to tell you." She gulped. "I said…I said I don't know if I could tell you, if you would believe me. So she said she would tell you herself, but she needed my help…I never found out what she was meaning to tell you. Was that it? To go there?"
He nodded. "It's a cemetery. She said I need to go there tomorrow, or else all is lost."
Eve fell silent. "Then I won't stop you from going." He nodded. She said, "But I do want you to do one thing."
"What?"
"Take Hermione."
"What?"
"Take her with you tomorrow."
"No, Eve, I already told you, she won't let us go if she finds out."
"Tell her what you told me."
"Eve, no. I won't bear putting her in danger. If anything would happen to her on my account, I won't forgive myself."
"And you're okay with putting Ron in danger?"
"Well, Ron is…bigger and stronger…"
"And a boy," she said, putting her hands on her hips.
He sputtered, "No, I didn't mean it like that."
"You know very well Hermione's better with a wand than either of you. And let's just hope you don't run into any giant spiders, or else you've lost Ron altogether."
"But what if for some reason we lose our wands? Ron still has your powers. He can take care of himself. Besides, you wouldn't want me going alone, would you?"
She paused, bit her lip, then said, her voice lowered, "Of course not, Harry."
"But if Hermione comes with us, she'll just be in danger. Listen, it wasn't my idea. Ron simply won't have it, especially because of what he feels for her. He's more adamant about it than I am." His expression changed. "Hey…why don't you come? Then they'll both be safe at school."
"Harry, if I leave with you, there would be no one to protect both of them. I need to stay and help Dumbledore…in case anything should happen. But you're taking Hermione with you."
"No, I said I won't put her in the danger."
"You'll put her in more danger if you leave her!"
"What do you mean?"
"I think my father is planning to attack the school. If he does, what kind of students do you think will be his primary targets?"
"At least she'll be with Dumbledore."
"Dumbledore can't ensure the safety of hundreds of students at the same time."
"Yes he can! He has Snape, McGonagall, Hagrid, all the other teachers here…" His expression softened. "Why don't you want to come with me?"
Eve stuck her lips together. "You're expecting me to say that I need you with me."
He shifted his eyes, then touched her chin lightly, moving her face towards his. "Not expecting, more like hoping."
She moved away. "And what if I lie?"
"If you care about my feelings at all I know you won't."
She closed her eyes. "That's precisely why I don't know what to say to you, Harry." She turned to him again and looked at him deeply. She took off one of her gloves and touched his hair, which was moving wildly in the direction of the wind. It was untidy as ever, but surprisingly soft. "I want nothing more than to go with you. Anywhere. But with all that's going on, you need someone to help you get through things, and not be just another obstacle, another worry, another something for you to try and keep safe."
"That's why you're so perfect, can't you see? No matter what happens, I know you'll be fine. I won't feel guilty about you caring about me, because I know they can never hurt you." He lowered his eyelids, leaned in closer to her and whispered, "I know I'll never lose you." He gulped, and felt a strange heat rising up through his Adam's apple, which always happened when he was nervous or agitated. "Do you know what that kind of a feeling means to me? When everything else I cherish in my entire world is under constant danger of being destroyed?"
It was so hard looking into his heart wrenching wide eyes and having to say what she had to say next.
"What if something happens to the school? Without me there, then you know for sure everything you love will be destroyed. So I need to stay here." She let go of him. "But you can go, Harry. I'm only trying to help you. So you can go without me. I don't need you with me."
"Is that a lie?" he asked tightly.
She turned her head. "I won't say."
He drew his head back and narrowed his eyes in anger. It came as a bit of a shock to him—he was so used to everyone depending on him, he depended on that, actually. Despite the cold wind, a different heat rose up in him, caused by anger.
"Fine. I'll go then," he said tersely as he began to rise up and away from the tree.
"And you're taking Hermione with you."
He turned sharply towards her. "No I won't. Why should she come, when you're here to protect everyone? That's what you're staying for, isn't it? It's what you value most."
Her eyes narrowed. "Stop being jealous because you're not the only one in the universe anymore that can do what you do, that can save everybody like you do."
He froze and shook his head, his eyes shiny with moisture. He turned back gruffly and walked off. Eve ran after him. "Harry, I didn't mean… I'm sorry, I didn't want to--"
But he didn't pay attention and left her there, running her fingers through her long hair in frustration.
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"I'm glad you're so happy to see us, Draco," said Pansy Parkinson icily. "After all, you haven't been talking to us in ages."
"I don't have time for this, Pansy. I need to see Eve right away. She isn't in the common room, is she?"
She crossed her arms and gave him a petulant stare. "I don't know. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't."
"Alright, then at least give me the password to the Slytherin common room."
"Why should I? You're Head Boy, you're the one that's supposed to give us the passwords. Oh, but I forgot. You don't care about our House anymore, so why should you care about being a competent Head Boy?"
"Stop being ridiculous. What have I done against the House?"
"Hmmm, let me see," she said, rolling her eyes up and putting a finger to her lips as if thinking. "How about, still chasing after that little traitor, Eve, even after she hurt you, running around with the most despicable of Gryffindors, completely going against our House, our reputation as purebloods, her father…"
"Pansy…" Draco said threateningly.
"Ah well. I'm sure her father will give her what she deserves soon enough, and we won't have to deal with her anymore."
Draco clenched his fists—he was quite willing to make an exception to gentlemanly behavior and punch her, because he knew he couldn't use his wand, but he thought it might not go well with her, because he was trying to get some help from her, after all. All he said was, through gritted teeth, "Don't talk about things you know nothing about."
She looked up at him and batted her eyes. "Oh no, Draco, I know much more about what's happening than you do, actually. We don't even know whether or not we can trust you with information anymore."
"Information about what? What's happening?"
"Don't worry," she answered in a disgustingly sweet voice, "you'll find out soon enough. And when you do, I only hope you have your priorities right." And she flounced off, leaving him alone and passwordless. He sighed and grumbled as he made his way back to his room, hoping Eve might be in her room this time.
He needed to talk to her—to tell her about what Snape had just revealed. Eve had seemed to know something was wrong with him: maybe she could be more helpful in finding his outside source of magic, the source still keeping him alive. It was a long shot, but worth taking. He noticed that he felt strangely out of breath after finishing the flight of stairs—not a good sign; he tried pushing it out of his mind. He was feeling bad enough already knowing that the other Slytherins knew something he didn't; then again, Pansy could have been lying to him to make him jealous, he wouldn't put that past her. Nevertheless, he made a mental note to mention that to Eve as well.
He knocked on the door, and he heard a muffled female voice say, "Who is it?" Immediately he recognized it as Hermione, and just as quickly decided to leave. He turned around, when he heard the door opening and saw her face peeking out.
"Malfoy! I mean…Draco?"
He slowly turned around and took a glimpse at her peering through the door. He realized why she was being slightly shy—she was in a pink bathrobe, her wet hair falling in brown curls around her face. He was torn between embarrassment and trying not to laugh.
"Sorry, it was just that…er, is Eve in there, by any chance?" She slowly shook her head. "Right. I guess I'll go, then," he said in a tone of voice that indicated he had no idea what else to say.
"Draco, wait."
He froze. "What?"
"Did…did Snape tell you what was in that potion you drank?"
He shifted his eyes. "Y-yes. Yes he did."
"And?"
His stomach turned when he saw how truly concerned she was. "It was nothing, really. He said I'm going to be just fine," he smiled.
Unlike Draco's, her smile was genuine. "Oh, that's great!" she said, although she tried hiding her enthusiasm when she saw how high her voice became. "I mean, because, Eve was so certain something was wrong, you know."
"Yeah, I'm perfectly healthy—but I thought you Gryffindors would see that as bad news."
"Most of them might," she said, lowering her eyes.
"Most? Not all of them?"
She smiled awkwardly, but didn't answer. Seeing the conversation was going nowhere, he said, "Alright, I guess I should go now. I see you're getting ready for the Ball. I shouldn't bother you."
She hesitated, but then asked, "Are—are you going to the Ball?"
"I thought I might look in on it, yeah."
Then she asked in a halted voice, as if it was costing her something to ask it, "Who's your date?"
He licked his lips evasively. "Uh, I don't have a date, really."
Suddenly her shyness disappeared. "You mean Pansy hasn't simpered her way into asking you?"
"I would rather go with a mountain troll," he said, grinning. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. You're probably going with Weasley, aren't you?"
She didn't laugh. "No, I'm not. We had a fight."
"Because of what?"
She put a few fingers over her temple and looked away, embarrassed. "Because of you."
His eyes widened in relish, "Ah, Weasley is jealous." But inside his head celebratory fireworks were going off.
Her tone suddenly became icy. "Yeah, even with no real reason for him to be."
"Are you sure?" he said, examining her.
She crossed her arms. "What does that mean exactly?"
He had become very serious. "We need to talk. Can I come in?"
"No," she replied firmly, covering the doorway.
"Please. This is important."
He looked genuinely sincere, and she sighed and got out of the doorway, wondering whether or not she would truly regret this motion. He walked into her room and she followed him inside.
"What is it?" she asked, tightening her robe around her.
Suddenly he didn't know how to say what he was going to say, although he had been thinking about it since yesterday. He remembered Snape's words, Isn't there someone you have a special connection with? He remembered Selene, then he remembered what Hermione had said while she was a phoenix. He remembered her, bruised and vulnerable and intrigued at his kindness. Her, touching his face. Her, making him feel things he was terrified to feel. Selen had save him, but he couldn't save her. But he had saved Hermione twice, and now, he hoped she could save him. He knew there had to be some sort of connection between them because of all that.
"Hermione," he said, and she blinked, still quite not used to hearing him say her name like that. "I need to know how you truly feel about me."
She was slightly taken aback, and searched for what to say. Before she could open her mouth, he said, his voice slightly faltering, "And please consider what you're going to say very carefully. Because if you lie in any way, it….it might just kill me."
She frowned, not knowing what on earth to make of what he had said. "Draco, I don't understand."
He closed his eyes. "Please. Just tell me, truthfully."
She looked at her slippers and rubber the side of her arm. "Truthfully," she said, looking up, "I just don't know."
"Hermione, I need a straight answer."
"What, either I love you or I don't?" she asked briskly. He blinked at the way she blatantly put it, slightly surprised that she had used the word "love" so suddenly.
She went on. "Draco, things aren't that simple. Feelings aren't that simple. In fact, I think they're most complicated when they involve you."
"But I think there can be a simple way to test it."
He walked closer to her. Their faces were now inches away. He could see the streams of water that the droplets from her hair had made across her neck.
"What?" Her eyes had widened.
He bent over and gently moved his lips onto hers. She froze—Eve had said he would had been too proud to make the first move. What had changed? Dammit, this was the second time Eve had been wrong that day. The she realized she had not moved away; instead, he had put one of his hands on her neck, brushing his fingers against her skin and her wet hair. A tingling sensation spread throughout her entire body—kissing Draco had been completely different than kissing Ron. Ron was familiar, warm, comfortable; Draco was fresh, electrifying. He kissed her more deeply and she felt her mouth burning. She suddenly became quite aware that she was not wearing much under her bathrobe because she suddenly felt her belt loosening and when she felt his fingers crawling under it against her bare back she gave an involuntary shudder and she moved her mouth away. He had slid off her robe partly and was kissing her neck and shoulders and she gave an involuntary gasp. Her body was giving her frightening signals and she knew she was getting way too caught in the storm—too many people would get hurt.
She pushed him away. "No," she gasped.
He was holding her tight, and she could smell his cologne, feel his warm breath through his heavy breathing. His hair was falling in separated strands across his eyes. Part of her wanted still wanted him to continue—she knew he could make her feel things she would never feel with Ron.
"I'm so sorry, I'm moving too fast aren't I?" He let go of her back and gently hugged her by the shoulders, nuzzled her cheek with his nose. He was not making it easy for her.
She pushed him away again, more gently this time, but all she did was look at his face. He was staring deeply into her eyes. She recognized the look he gave her: that look that a girl could instantaneously recognize. it was the same look Harry would give Eve whenever he saw her or even mentioned her. The same look that Ron gave her. The look that anybody would give to the person they loved.
She felt her throat tighten and the tears beginning to spill. She could see the desire in them—not only a physical lust but a desire to finally be happy. She knew she was the only person that could give him that, and that she was about to deny him that.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Draco, we can't do this."
"What?"
"You put me to the test, and I stopped you. Which means that I….I don't think we should be together."
"But…I mean…you let me carry on for quite a while." She could hear the resentment rising in his voice.
"Well, I guess I shouldn't have…" she trailed off, not knowing what to say.
He let go of her. "Yeah, you shouldn't have," he snapped, "but I guess you wanted to let me down after you got all my hopes up, so you could hurt me in the worst possible way, right?"
"No, of course not," she said pleadingly.
He began angrily breathing through his nose. Then he paused when his eye caught something.
"Is that the dress you're wearing?" he asked, indicating the blue dress laid on her bed.
Hermione was so surprised by this question it took her a while to answer. "Huh?…..Oh, right. The dress. Yeah, I'm wearing that. So what?"
"That looks like an Aurora Leigh designer dress. My mother has a bunch of them."
"So?"
"So, they're usually so expensive only purebloods can afford them. In fact, those dresses are kind of like a status symbol for the women in pureblood families. How did you get one?"
She felt the angry heat rising in her face; he was reminding her exactly why she was turning him down in the first place.
"What does it matter? Are you saying I don't deserve to wear a dress like that or something?"
She expected him to give her a tirade of insults about her heritage, but he merely said in a quiet voice, "No. I'm sure you'll look beautiful in it."
But before she could gape like a dead fish, he said, "I'm sure Weasley will love it." His every word was cutting, intending to hurt as much as he had been hurt.
Draco made his way to the door. Right before he left, he turned around and said, "I won't bother you anymore. You won't have to say another word to me ever again." He looked up thoughtfully. "In fact, I think it might even be better that way."
He closed the door, leaving her undecided whether or not she regretted letting him in or if she regretted letting him go.
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Draco walked out and closed the door, feeling like a man whose fate was sealed. He was so sure she had a connection with him, and instead of getting closer with her, he had just said that they should never see each other again. He felt it harder and harder to breathe. 'Maybe I should have told her I'm dying,' he thought. 'She would have acted much differently.' But that was the key word—acting. He didn't want her to accept him only because she felt sorry for him. He wanted something true and genuine, and just as his curse entailed, he was crushed horribly for wanting it. Suddenly he felt a big headache and the pressure rising against his chest. His vision blurred, and he felt very nauseous. The last thing he saw were a pair of bright green eyes before he collapsed onto the floor.
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