Disclaimer: I own a world of nothingness. Yeah.
Author's note: Goldilocks = Legolas in case you're that dense. Yeah. I don't really have much to say. So. Er. How's the weather? J/k Ps. I'm sorry, I make poor Legolas look like a help-less fool in this chapter. It is done on purpose. Sort of. Hell, I just need a story line! *runs away from mad critics and fan-girls*
Happiness anew:
Liz's POV
Gimli shouted something in Dwarfish at the sight of Legolas falling. Everything was moving in slow-motion, as if we were underwater. My hands and feet seemed to be stuck fast to the bloody floor as if glue covered everything. Something in the back of my mind pressed and screamed, "Help him, you idiot! Move! Do something!!" I lunged forward, but it felt as if tar or molasses was dragged me down. I struggled to go faster, to reach Legolas in time, but space-time seemed to be against me and thickened as I neared. I was only three feet away from the slowly falling elf, his face a look of terror and confusion.
I snapped my arm in front of me and wrapped my fingers around his outstretched left arm. At that moment, everything pounded back into real time and space, and everything flew awkwardly fast in confusion. In the next moment, I had Legolas dragging me down as I tried to pull him back up. One hand was clamped onto the elf's arm, the other around the remaining railing. He groaned and looked up, his eyes pleading for me to do something.
My knees suddenly slipped on the blood on the floor and I was slapped against the railing. Legolas was too damned heavy to lift up, so I got him as close to the ground as I could. I slipped again, this time, I flew out of the hallway and was stuck hanging onto the railing with Legolas dragging me down. He was only about two feet from the ground, so I called out, "I'm going to let you go!" before releasing my grip and grasping onto another railing peg. The elf crumpled onto the floor and crawled away to the area underneath the stairs. I dropped down about six feet and stood up rather painfully.
Gimli thundered down the stairs and moved over to the fallen elf. Movement from the hallway to the right of me caught my eye. Snapping my neck around, I saw the zombie I had killed earlier rise from its place on the floor and stand up in one, fluid motion. It raised its claws and shrieked before lunging at me. I reached for my guns at my sides but I grasped nothing. I suddenly remembered dropping my guns before reaching to grab the elf.
"Get Legolas to the save room!" I shouted while pointing to the room in front of me. The Crimson Head thundered towards me and prepared to slash its claws into my flesh. I ducked, but had a large, rotting, red body crash into me. I had no time to hesitate, for the zombie was already struggling to get up. Scrambling to my feet, I made for the door Gimli had just dragged Legolas into. The rotting creature grabbed my arm and pulled me back. Twisting in the thing's grip, I smashed my elbow as hard and as deep as it would go into the zombie's face. It moaned and let go as it fell to the ground.
"Let me in, you damned dwarf!!!" I screamed as I pounded on the door. Stupid Gimli had locked me out with a hungry and angry Crimson Head, worthless knives, and no guns!! The Crimson Head rose once again and screamed. I growled and tried again, "Let me IN!!" The door suddenly opened and I tripped over the small figure of the dwarf. I kicked the door shut as the Crimson Head reached it. The zombie pounded into the door, causing the door to shake and waver. "Quickly, before it bashes down the door!" Gimli shouted, stacking some boxes against the door. "It's not going to bash down the door! This is a save room!" I told, pointing to typewriter. One would have thought it would have some sort of Angelic Music to go with it, but it's not like this is a movie.
"But how would that-"
"Trust me," I said. He scowled, "The only thing that came out of our trust in you was the near death of the elf!" I glanced back. Legolas sat there, eyes closed, pale, and still bleeding slightly. He was propped up against the other wooden boxes that lined the wall. "Leggy? Legolas, come on, wake up," I said, poking him with my finger. He flinched slightly, showing some sign that he's conscious, if not alive. "You awake, Leggy?" I squeaked, poking harder. "Stop that," he growled through gritted teeth. "Yay! You're still alive! Now all we have to do is get you to that weird bed in the other save room so that you're nice and comfy!" said.
"And how do suppose we get to that other room with that creature out there?!" Gimli growled, shifting slightly at the thought of the resurrected zombie. "That was my next question," Legolas said weakly. "Hm. . .well, I hadn't though of that yet. It shouldn't be too hard. I mean, it's only a fast and more aggressive form of a zombie. I just have to run really fast and get my guns before it gets me while you distract it," I informed the dwarf, thinking. "Then I just blast it to kingdom-come. Of course, you may be killed in the process, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to take."
"Me?! Why me?!"
"Because Legolas isn't really in fighting condition, idiot," I yelled back, scowling. What a selfish dwarf. "I am not going out there and if you force me I will only run back in here," the dwarf reasoned, crossing his arms with a snarl. "You will only have to go out there by yourself, seeing as I am not going to give myself up as bait," he growled. Legolas was watching the little quarrel from the corner of his eye. He squinted and scowled, reaching up with his arm. Grasping a box to the left of him, he got up and walked over.
"I will go. I am swift and can stay away from the monster while you find your weapons and attack it," he proclaimed, grasping his right arm. "Yeah, but aren't you hurt?" I asked, reaching for his arm. He pulled away. "I will live, though only if we get out of here and find some help."
I sighed and admitted defeat. "Alright, you stand by the door and wait for my command to run out maniacally," I commanded, ignoring the strange glance from my beloved. He stood there, watching me to give the signal. I ripped off a wooden plank from a near by box filled with nothingness and air. "And what, dare I ask, is that for?" Gimli inquired. To whack the zombie, stooge," I replied, snarling. I knew I had to be nice to the stout creature, for he was hell-bent on marrying Jen, but he was just too annoying. Turning around, I walked to the door past Legolas. 'I'm sorry, beloved," I apologized mentally, 'but this is for your own good!' I turned sharply, whipping the wooden board across in a path with Legolas' head. His eyes widened as he ducked and twisted. "What are you-" he tried to call out, but I cut him off with a blow to the back of his neck.
"You crazy woman!" Gimli exclaimed angrily, "Why did you do that?!"
"So he wouldn't get hurt," I reasoned, turning to the door.
'Okay,' I prepped, 'just run really, really fast and it won't kill you, Liz' I took a deep breath to prepare myself and opened the door. A screech echoed into the room, causing me to close the door quickly. 'Oh, what are you scared off, Liz? It's just an undead creature with no mind and hardly any coordination that's bent on trying to eat you! No biggie!' my mind called.
I opened the door one more time, rushing through and slamming it behind me. The Crimson Head rounded the bend and lunged. I jumped aside and tripped the bloody freak. I made for the stairs, but a red-clawed hand grabbed my ankle. I tripped and sprawled across the floor with a curse. The Crimson Head tried to take a chunk out of my leg, but I kicked its face and scrambled up.
I ran up the steps, using the railing as a way to speed my way up the stairs. I reached the top and looked around. There were my pretties, lying near the corner of the railing and the wall, dangerously close to falling over the edge. I reached for them carefully, hoping to grab them without having them fall over the side, but the Crimson Head pounded onto the floor and shrieked. It charged, each footfall making the guns slip more and more over the edge. Finally, they did.
I cursed loudly and spun, holding a piece of wood poised and ready for action. "Eat splinters, boyfriend-ruiner!" I screamed, swinging. The wood connected with the head of the undead creature, causing it to scream and stumble back onto the floor. I ran past it, purposefully stepping on it while I ran down the stairs. I grabbed my guns quickly reloaded them before turning around sharply. I waited, guns raised and waiting for the trigger to be pulled. Nothing.
I looked up the stairs and saw the still figure of the zombie. Cautiously, I approached; ready to shoot at any time. It still didn't move. "What the hell?" I whispered, poking the body then jumping back, waiting for it to move. "You're dead already?" I asked it, nudging it with my foot. I examined it closely, and say that I had hit the zombie so hard with the wooden board, that its face actually shifted to the left. Blood dripped from its mouth as it lay there, perfectly still. Yummy.
I walked around the creature, down the stairs. I stopped near the landing and looked back up. I ran back up the stairs and aimed at the body. "You still hurt poor Legsie!" I growled. After blasting the zombie with about five bullets, I felt satisfied and walked calmly down the steps. I opened the door and saw Gimli scooted all the way in the back of the room with an unconscious Legolas next to him. He looked as if he had just seen the gateway to hell, or something.
"What's wrong?" I asked, shoving my guns into their rightful place at my belt. He pointing up and started stammering. Five bullet holes were placed in the ceiling, trickles of zombie blood dripping every so often. "Oh, sorry about that. I kinda forgot about the save room that was just under it!" I apologized, scratching the back of my neck. He glanced back down at the unconscious Legolas and got up.
"What are we going to do about him?" the dwarf asked, nudging the elf with his foot.
"Don't treat him like that!" I ordered defensively, shoving him out of the way.
"You seemed quite happy pounding him over the head earlier," the dwarf grumbled. I kneeled down, though I was a bit edgy, knowing he'd be rather angry when he wakes up.
"Let's get him to the other save room I talked about before," I ordered, standing up. I went to the box I had broken earlier and took out about ten handgun magazines. It was zombie-butt kicking time.
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"Watch his hair!!" I ordered, glancing back to check. Gimli was having a rather hard time carrying Legolas around; for the elf was twice his height and then some. I really didn't mind it when Legolas' legs were dragging on the ground, but when Gimli shifted Legolas' weight to even out the dispersion of the weight, Legolas' head was too close to the ground and his hair began to drag on the ground. I'm no expert, but I'm sure Legolas wouldn't want his prized hair all dirty.
Gimli grumbled something and shifted Legolas back over to the original position and started to follow once again, though lopsided and hunched over. I walked to the door and kicked it open, gun ready, although I knew there were no zombies in this room. It just looked so cool when Jill and Barry did it in the game.
I motioned the standard S.W.A.T "okay" signal (I watch too much television) and continued to walk through the room. Searching for anything dangerous, I finally found the lighter. 'I could have used this to get the "Second Floor Map" in the fireplace room earlier!' I mentally cursed myself. I shrugged it off and continued checking everything out.
"The 'Three Bears Cottage' is all clear for Goldilocks to enter, copy, over," I called, Secret Service Style. Gimli growled another, mostly likely unfriendly, something, and trudged through the room. "Come on, soldier! My grandmother can walk faster than you! And she's dead!!"
"Why don't you take him then?" Gimli mumbled. "Me? But I'm weak, fragile, and tender! You don't expect me to carry around a full-grown elf? No, I didn't think so," I reasoned, kicking open another door.
About five doors kicked open and one zombie killed, Gimli, the sexy and unconscious elf, and I reached the area above the dining hall. Kicking the now "dead" zombie, I motioned Gimli to hurry up and enter the room. Finally, he joined me at the furthest door on the right side of the hallway. After shooting the lock out, I kicked it open and extended my weapons. A moan followed by a groan (they're very different I assure you) filled the air. "The calls are too close together, Watson. I've come to the conclusion that there are two zombies!" I shouted while shooting down the first.
Sure, I already knew that there were two zombies in this room, but annoying Gimli was just much more fun; even if he didn't know who "Watson," "Robin (from Batman)," or "Grumpy the tiny Snow White dwarf" were, but it was fun anyway! "You could at least help me-"
"No time! LOOK!" I exclaimed, pointing to the stairs with one of my guns. "What? What is it?" he asked, looking about nervously. "It's the save room!" I replied, running down the stairs. I checked the hallways for the nonexistent zombies and watched Gimli walked down the stairs, trying not to trip on Legolas' feet. I opened the door for him and glanced about for any enemies that were obviously not going to come.
Gimli shoved Legolas off his back and onto the bed, and then collapsed in a heap. He gasped for air and finally managed to calm his breathing and lay on is back on the floor. I sighed and turned around, flopping down on the chair near the typewriter. "This is such a terrible, horrible, dreadful tragedy. How could this possibly happen?! Do you have any idea how hard this is on me?"
"YOU?! My back has broken because of this! Because of you!!" Gimli scowled. "Yeah," I answered, "but do you know how many zombies I could be shooting? Or mauling? Or seriously damaging?! If I had only a shotgun, I could have killed that Crimson Head before it hurt Legolas, then none of this would have happened! And I wouldn't be here, wasting away, allowing stupid, incompetent, and undead creatures to wander around without being blasted with bullets!" I grieved.
Gimli gave me and incredulous look, scowled, opened his mouth as if to say something, but then shut it again. I ignored him as I sat there contemplating. There was something I was missing. . .but what?! "Green herbs!!" I realized, jumping up from the chair near the typewriter. "I'm off!" I exclaimed, slamming the door behind me.
I ran around the corner, through a door and into a room. "Ah! Hello, my pretties," I called out to the little potted plants. "These will do nicely." I ran into the room and sat down on the bed next to Leggy. "Okay. Hm. . .I don't see any instructions. . ." I said, turning the plants around to look underneath and around. "The game never did show how to use these things," I said, ripping off a few leaves. I ground them up in the palm of my hand with the hilt of my knife.
"Okay. I'm just going to go out on a limb and put half on the wound itself and if- I mean when - when he wakes up, I will have him eat the rest," I reasoned. Gimli gave me a queered out look and glanced at the plant in my hands. "Are you sure that it is safe to eat?" he questioned uneasily.
"I don't know, but if it isn't, elves are still immune to poison, right?" I answered, lifting up the elf's limp arm. Blood still seeped lightly from the wound (he was apparently running out of blood to seep) and the entire arm was sticky with the red fluid.
"GROSS!" I squeaked, recoiling. Legolas' arm fell to his side once again and stepped back. 'Well, I don't have any bandages, with kinda sucks,' I thought to myself, looking around. I leaned against a display full of medicinal serums, and small bottles. One of the bottles fell to the ground and landed near my feet.
"Duh!" I shouted, "This is little a hospital room thingy! There has to be some sort of bandages here!" Searching wildly through the shelves and drawers, I finally found some bandages. "These should work nicely," I said, walking over to the still unconscious elf.
"Uh. . .are you sure that it is safe to-"
"Yes, Mr. Safety Inspector. They're sterile. See? Right on the package: 'Sterile Roll Gauze'," I informed, shoving the package in his face. 'First Aid, First Aid. . . Damn it I can't remember anything from First Aid class! I only took the darned class because it was mandatory! Mandatory!!'
"Try using direct pressure, fool," Gimli called from beside me, throwing an angry and impatient scowl. Glowering, I obeyed and used Legolas' cloak (he won't mind) as a compress. "Wrap the arm, fool," Gimli instructed. He sounded just like the stupid, annoying teacher. Well, the teacher didn't call us "fools." Only "idiots." I mentally cursed my situation and lifted the compress. Three deep gashes tore through the inside of the elf's swollen, inflamed forearm. "It looks as if a vein was torn," the ruff voice informed from beside me.
"Okay, that's it!! Since you know soooo much about this stuff, you do it!" I yelled, shoving the bandages into his hands. He scowled and pushed it away. "I can reach," he muttered grudgingly, his face contorting in embarrassment. 'A soft spot!' I thought, pleased. "Of course you can't reach. I almost forgot about your 'little' problem. I mean, I must have the 'shortest' attention span or something. I can't believe how 'small' my tact must be to forget such an obvious thing! I must-"
"Enough!! Now look what you've done, wench! The elf's bleeding again!" he growled. I didn't care. I still would call this a 'tiny' victory. Chuckling at my own 'miniature' pun, I pressed at the elf's arm again.
"Hand me the stuff- yeah, that stuff," I instructed the grumbling Gimli while pointing to the pile of ground herbs. "Let's see. I suppose you're supposed to turn it into a paste or something," I reasoned. I got ready to spit in it before Gimli interjected and held out his water skin. "Well, okay. This works nicely, too." I mixed the water with the green herbs and smeared the greenish paste over the wound. The arm flinched, and I stopped to carefully wait and see if Legolas was going to wake up.
He didn't move, and his arm went slack once more. I finished the smearing and wrapped his arm.
"It looks over wrapped," Gimli notified. "You really think so?" I asked, rethinking. Sure, his arm looked like a chibi's arm, but with a ripped vein that Gimli claimed, nothing was too much for my sleeping angel {that'd be Legolas}.
I moved back to the chair near the typewriter of the room and sat down with a sigh. What I assumed to be twenty minutes went by without even the slightest twitch from Legolas. Gimli was beginning to snore lightly when I finally had enough. "I'm gonna go shoot some zombies. Find me if Legolas wakes up," I said impatiently, slamming the door on the way out.
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Smear! I love the word smear! It just sounds so. . .funny! Like something Gollum would say! Gollum's so cute. . .in his own little demented way.
Believe me, Flaming Flamingo, you don't want to see Legolas with a gun. I have something in store in the next chapter. Muahahahaha!! Well, he is going to get the bow-gun, but that's not until later. And I'm still a bit undecided about that.