a/n: WOW!! I'm not dead!!! I had this chapter the whole time and I never updated!! I even have up to chapter six!! And just when I was about to add on chapter six did I realize I still had this! This much be at least five months old...Natalia's gonna kill me...

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply. ...just read the one from the last chapter, okay?

{{Beautiful Shotguns-- Liz's POV}}

No more zombies. There were just too easy to kill. I killed every zombie in this wing, waited for the Crimson Heads to come up, then killed the Crimson Heads. Sighing in frustration, I began to wonder what else there was to do in here.

I gave up and walked back to the save from in which I left Gimli with Legolas. Suddenly, a huge bellow echoed throughout the entire house. It took me a few minutes and a few more calls to realize what it was.

It was Gimli.

My first was that he tripped and hit his toe or something, but then I remembered where I was: a zombie infested mansion. I ran down the corridor and threw open the door. Bounding down the steps, I heard the bellow at full blast.

Gimli was standing outside of the room, hollering incoherent nonsense.

"Why the hell are you yelling, you retarded dwarf?!!" I screamed. He silenced and looked at me.

"It's about time," he said in a raspy voice. "The elf's awake. Though he is not exactly himself. . ."

"I told you to find me when he woke up, doof-cake," I scowled.

"I was, though I then caught sight of this corpse and was too scared to go about, by myself, looking for you," he answered sheepishly, looking down at the corpse under the stairs. I looked as well and sighed.

"Alright, whatever. I don't care," I scowled before opening the door. I stuck my head in before walking in. Legolas was sitting on the bed, looking at every last detail. He looked at me for a moment. "Sweetie? Are you-"

"Ah, fair maiden, and dwarf as well! How art thou, milady and dwarf? How does thee fair?" he asked. "Uh. . .fine, I suppose. Are you feeling-"

"I feel ever better, fair maiden, at the sight of your glorious face. The sight of you brought sunshine to my day," Legolas declared.

"I don't know. I like the new him," I whispered to Gimli. He snorted and turned.

"Come, friend dwarf, thou shant be dismal! Be joyful!"

"How's your arm, Leggy?" I asked, reaching for his bandaged arm.

"Leggy? Who is that? Is that my name?" he questioned. I froze.

"Y-yeah. Well, it's actually Legolas. Remember?" I asked hesitantly.

"Legolas. It sounds familiar, though I cannot place it. Though it matters not. Who are you, fair maiden? You seem recognizable, just as the dwarf, though I cannot remember thee," he explained, standing up.

"Well? Are we only going to rot here or shall we try to find a way out?" Gimli demanded.

"Why are so ready to leave? I see no damage," Legolas put in.

"What?!! Have you gone daft during your sleep?!! Do you not remember the monsters lurking about-"

"Gimli, shut up. Leggy's even cuter and you suddenly got uglier. There I said it," I said sternly. The dwarf shut up, but scowled in my direction.

"Then let us waste no more time! We shall defeat this dastardly foe and be victorious!" he shouted. He walked out the door and shut it behind him. Gimli and I stared after him, unsure of what to do.

The door opened once again and Legolas stepped in.

"Yes, well, I was wondering was to why I have arrows on my back," he said.

"You're an archer! You're probably the best in Middle-Earth!"

"Middle-Earth. Is that where we are?" he questioned, thinking.

Exasperated, I walked over, "Here's a little synopsis: We are on some twisted version of regular Earth. There are zombies everywhere and they try to kill us. I'm Liz and he's Gimli. You are the prince of Mirkwood; the son of Thranduil, the king. You, Gimli, and I were once part of a 'Fellowship' to go destroy some wicked ring, but we wound up here, some how, and we must now survive, get out of here, find the rest of the Fellowship, if there is any, and get back to Middle-Earth.

"Either that, or we can stay here, eat zombies for the rest of our lives, and wither away into nothing. Except you; you'll eventually die of starvation, T-Virus infestation, or something like that. Does that about sum it up? Do you have your memory back or something?"

"No. None of it sounds proverbial."

"Well, I don't care. As long as you can shoot. Go on, try it," I urged. He struggled out of his quiver and notched an arrow. "Not here!! Outside!" I instructed. We all trudged outside and watched as Legolas aimed. "What are you aiming for?" I asked.

"The painting on the far wall, lady," he answered, releasing the arrow. It flew and hit the portrait, directly between the eyes of the man in the painting. "I suppose I can shoot an arrow," he said, putting down his quiver, almost amazed with himself.

"Okay, now that that's over with, let's go kick some zombie ass. And chew some bubble gum. And I'm all outta gum, you mofo zombies," I cackled evilly, walking towards the stairs.

"Argh. Did I kill every zombie around here or something?!" I whined, dragging my feet. It was obvious that I gone through nearly every room in this house, but I thought that there would have been more undead creatures roaming around. I opened the door and saw a body lying in the center of the room. "Funny. I don't remember this," I said, aiming down at it. We circled around it and to the other door. Once Gimli turned the knob, however, the zombie's eyes burst open.

It jumped up, turning to face us. It was rather strange, actually. It seemed almost like an orc, though with closer inspection, its skin was rotted and bloody. "Stay back, fair maiden and diminutive dwarf! I shall thwart this foe!" Legolas proclaimed, aiming. After about ten arrows in the head, Legolas realized, "What-ho! This villain can not be vanquished!"

"Sure it can!" I shouted, aiming at the creature. It stumbled everywhere, having some trouble with all the arrows in its face, but it was almost as fast a Crimson Head. I shot at the head repeatedly, gritting my teeth. "Damn. This thing doesn't want to die," I cursed through gritted teeth, blasting more lead into the skull of the creature. It finally fell to the ground, about sixteen rounds later.

"You idiot! You made me use up all my ammo!" I screamed, kicking the fallen monster continually.

"Quickly, before it comes back," Gimli glowered, tugging at my sleeve. "Comes back? It's right here."

"Just as the other did," he said, tugging harder. "Oh, you mean the Crimson Head thing," I reasoned, following the dwarf after one last kick.

"Yes, that thing, you impossible wench" he frowned.

"Come forth, young maiden and dimin- dwarf," Legolas said, his adjective cut off by a nasty glare by the dwarf.

Something shifted behind me, and I quickly turned and brandished my Berettas. "You want more?!!"

Another noise, softer. Legolas let loose his arrow in the direction of the noise.

A -thunk- filled the silence as the arrow hit the wood of the wall. "I could have sworn on my life that-" Another noise cut off the elf.

"It is behind the wall!" Gimli called out. I checked out the window, into the wilderness of the forest.

"Nothing," I whispered. "There's nothing there, stupid." Above us, the same noise echoed. The small, scratching, shuffling noise. I shot the ceiling from where the sound was emitted. Whatever created the noise was moving; moving quickly.

Wherever it moved, I shot, and there was soon a trail of bullet holes on the ceiling. It crawled into the opposite wall, and I continued shooting.

Suddenly, an amazingly loud and piercing shriek broke through the air. I grimaced, halting my barrage of gunshots. When it stopped I stepped closer.

"I-I guess I hit it." The wall suddenly shattered apart in a rain of splinters. I tried to shoot the creature that was in the midst of the debris, but only the click of empty magazines came out of the weapon.

"Damn it!" I shouted, rushing to refill the Berettas. The thing lunged while I still wasn't ready. I placed my arms in front of me and braced for impact, but an arrow pierced it in mid-jump, causing it to fall to the side and shriek like before.

It rolled around, screeching, until it scrambled to its feet and dashed across the room. I shoot at it with newly loaded guns, but it was too late.

The thing smashed through the window and disappeared into the night. I stood, breathless from adrenaline and shock, staring out.

"Well, that certainly wasn't in the game," I said finally. "This is no game, milady. Are you injured?" Legolas inquired.

"Well, that was mostly a weak glitch or whatever," I mumbled, turning towards the door. I looked around the rumble of plaster, wood, and a few pieces of metal.

"Did any of you manage to get a good look at that thing?" I asked, walking down a hallway.

"No, it was too dark," Gimli answered.

"I saw it," Legolas spoke up. Silence. "And what did it look like?!" Gimli demanded.

"Oh. Yes, well, the creature seemed similar to the dwarf, although it was smaller, faster, it had no fur, crawled on all fours, and had some kind of slime all over it," he informed.

"Uh-huh. Well, that's like nothing I've ever heard of before. Maybe its related to Gimli. Gimli, did you forget to tell us that your mother was coming to town?" I asked the fiercely glowering dwarf. He had no time to retaliate, for I shouted, "There's the shotgun room!"

I ran over to the door and opened it. "Yup, it's the one."

"Okay, this is where you come in, Leggy. You have to take this gun and shot the lock on the door when I say so, okay? Yeah, you pull that trigger-NO! Don't pull it now! Wait until I say so, then point this end, no, other end, YES! That end. Point that at the lock and pull the trigger, okay? Good," I said, showing Legolas how to work the weapon. "Gimli, you take this gun and, should Legolas fail to do his lock-shooting duties, you shoot the lock, okay? Good boy. You'll get a doggie treat later.

"I'm off to get the shotgun!" I announced, slamming the door after me. I walked into the other door to my right and looked around. I made my way directly to the shotgun, taking it delicately into my hands.

"So...beautiful..." I whispered, stroking the barrel of the weapon. Placing the shotgun on my hip, I moved to the display cases on the opposite wall. Nothing seemed to be anything close to value; all dust-covered junk.

Sighing, I walked back over to the four by four room. The ceiling began to move slowly downwards, taking some plaster along with it. "Okay, Legolas! Shoot the lock now!" I shouted through the door.

Silence.

"Leggy?!" Several shots suddenly broke out and I stood away from the door. The shots continued for about a minute and...the lock was still intact.

"Leggy! I know you're trying to make this more dramatic and everything to make you look like a hero, but you can shot the lock any time now!"

More shots rang out, though nothing connected with the lock. I cursed mentally and turned around, prepared to go back into the other room. I pulled at the doorknob leading to the other room, but the door refused to budge.

I looked up quickly and saw that the ceiling had sunken too far and blocked the way to the door. Cursing loudly, I looked desperately for a way out. Shooting the lock was out of the question, for the game was programmed to shun against that action.

I then remembered the creature that attacked before. It broke right through the wall like it was nothing. If that could do it, maybe I can too; with a little help. I blasted the wall opposite the locked door with two shots. The ceiling sunk lower, causing me to crouch slightly. This had to work. I had no other way out.

Not very satisfied with the lack of holes to weaken the wall, I had no choice but to go for it. I took a deep breath and ran as fast I could in a ducked position and threw all my weight against the wall. Please work.

You like? Did I leave you with too much "suspense?" Meh. Tell me what you think!