"Admit it! You deliberately waited longer than necessary to deactivate that thing!"
Jack staggered along slightly behind the team, deliberately exaggerating his injuries in the vain hope of making Prometheus feel guilty. He should have known better.
"It has been a thousand years," the snakehead said primly.
Hah. Whatever. No one would convince him that the stuck-up, arrogant… arrogant… Tok'ra hadn't waited an extra minute or so to make sure Jack got pummelled before switching off the not-a-hologram.
Irritation and fresh facial bruising aside, Jack had to admit he was satisfied with the explosives Prometheus had produced from the cave. He had a knack for weaponry, and he could just tell that the small grenade-like objects he was carrying were formidable. They felt pleasingly heavy, and he couldn't wait to throw one and watch it explode.
They hustled back to the 'gate, throwing nervous glances over their shoulders at the rapidly reddening sky, and hid behind the same trees they had used for cover before.
"Okay," said Jack, hefting one of the grenade thingies. "I just throw this thing?"
"Not quite. Twist the two halves in opposite directions; that will cause them to target heat sources. Then throw them, yes, in the general direction of your target."
Carter spoke up. "Wouldn't whatever was shooting at us show up as a heat source only when it was shooting?"
Prometheus cleared his throat. "Well, yes."
Jack rolled his eyes, primed two grenades as instructed, watched Teal'c do the same. They bolted from cover at the same time, threw the explosives, pushing themselves to the limit to stay ahead of the constantly re-targeting system that had started firing the moment they left the shelter of the trees. The expected explosion that would take out the system did not come.
Damn it, Jack thought fiercely, don't tell me those things don't work properly either. A laser bolt caught the back of his shoe, melting the rubber sole, and he stumbled, dropped to one knee, closed his eyes in anticipation, and was shoved to the ground by a rush of hot air.
After a second, he opened his eyes. He didn't feel dead. It had happened often enough that he knew what death felt like, and this wasn't it. He rolled onto his back, sat up, and stared in delight at two smoking ruins on either side of the 'gate. Nothing was shooting at him! Although… the back of his head was starting to feel uncomfortable warm… He scrambled gracelessly to his feet, spun to face the mountain. The red sky was close, too close, and he could actually see nearby trees beginning to smoulder.
"Dial us home, Danny!"
"I'm dialling!"
The DHD was mercifully intact, and it took less than a minute for Daniel to dial them home and send the code. Even so, by the time the 'gate opened they were all wincing, and Jack felt like he was standing in a giant oven turned to "grill". He shoved Prometheus through, and, after a quick check that his team was heading in the right direction, he followed.
The 'gate flung him out head first, so he tucked in his shoulder, rolled, and came to his feet just in time to see Danny catapult out of the gate. The archaeologist landed hard, slid all the way down the ramp on his butt, and came to a gentle halt at the feet of General Hammond.
Hammond stared at Danny for a moment, then looked up at Jack. "How was the mission?"
"Uneventful, sir," he said, nodding smugly at Janet. Hah. She couldn't berate him for bringing his team home in bad condition, not this time.
"What happened to all of your hands?" Janet asked, glancing around at the team.
Oh, damn it, he'd forgotten about that. "That's from digging through the two cave-ins."
"All of you are covered in scrapes and cuts and bruises," Janet observed, a definite note of disapproval in her voice.
"You can't blame me for that!" Jack protested. "That's from falling through the mountain!"
"Your melted boot?"
"From those automated laser thingies that shot at us from around the 'gate."
"Your black eye?"
"Fighting with a sort-of-hologram so we could get to explosives to take out the automated laser thingies."
"Your singed hair?"
"Probably from the explosion that took out the automated laser thingies."
"And why do you all look like you have extremely bad sunburns?"
"Well, see, the sky went red and started this whole earth-scorching thing, and we were a little slow to get off the planet."
Janet narrowed her eyes. "I'll see you all in sickbay."
Hammond tilted his head, attracting Jack's attention. "Uneventful?"
"Sir, a more accurate phrasing would be that it was not particularly irregular."
"Indeed. Briefing room in an hour?"
"Yes, sir."
Hammond turned to Prometheus, who was standing to one side of the ramp, looking around suspiciously. "If you'd like to come with me, there's someone that wants to meet you."
Prometheus glanced at Carter, who nodded, then at Jack, who gave him a thumbs-up, then inclined his head politely and followed Hammond out of the gate room.
Epilogue bitty
...
..
.
Coffee, coffee, coffee, Daniel thought happily. He had been caffeine deprived for hours while rescuing Prometheus, and the two days and twenty-six cups of coffee since then had not been sufficient to calm the shock to his system. As he entered the mess hall, he saw Jack at a table in the corner, facing the door, as usual. He considered lunch, dismissed it as unnecessary, grabbed two cups of coffee, and joined Jack.
"Hi."
"Yo." Jack poked disconsolately at the plate in front of him, which contained a congealed mass that might once have been mashed potatoes with gravy.
"Sam's dad went back to the Tok'ra this morning. Apparently Prometheus is only slightly crazy, and his experience should come in handy."
"His thousand years of experience of being tortured by Goa'uld?" Jack shrugged. "As long as he's off the base."
Daniel nodded, downed a cup of coffee, then spent thirty seconds gasping for air. He hadn't expected it to be quite so hot. "So, what's on the agenda for this week?" he asked, once he'd recovered.
"We're planet-hopping again tomorrow. Another first contact."
Daniel went pale, protectively clutching the remaining coffee to his chest. "Already?"
"I requested it. I thought Prometheus was going to stay another week, and he's such an arrogant…"
"Oh. Well. We, uh, we'll be back soon, though, right?"
"Sure. Three days."
Daniel narrowed his eyes. He was willing to bet that Jack wouldn't look so smug and knowing with those mashed potatoes smooshed into his face.
Jack grinned at him. "Better bring your thermos, Danny. It's gonna be a good ride."