a/n: I know. A million fics have been written about this episode. But I saw it for the first time today... so smeg off.
I said it meself, you don't dream about someone unless you care for them. I'm not a hypocrite. I know what this means, what it meant. It's true. I do care.
For Him.
The crew has started looking at me funny. I don't mind, I really don't blame them. I don't even argue when they make snarky comments. I haven't the energy. I'm exhausted, my energy supply is running low, and I haven't eaten what I used to consider a decent meal in days. I haven't slept in longer. I can't.
Well, I could but.. but He's there. I can't bear it. I always wake up, panicing in disgust, and the wishing with all me heart it was true. I spend a lot of time in the cargo hold now too. I sit there and think. I think about Him. I think about my boys. I miss them all so horribly. I try not to dwell on things like that, but it's.. it's hard.
I mean, the boys, they lived inside me for nine monthes. That three quaters of a year. He had to live with me like that. I was a part of them, they were a part of me. I miss them, I think about them whenever there isn't anyone about to distract me.
But I don't think I miss them as much as I miss Him. Which sounds horrible, I mean, they're me boys. They're a part of me. But.. okay, don't laugh. I think He's sort of a part of me too. He was made hologram to keep me sane. That's got to be saying something. Maybe not what I'm trying to get it to say, but something.
Maybe I'm just going crazy because He's not here to do His job. Life just isn't the same here withou Him. I really hope that He's enjoying himself immensely. I can last without Him.
Really I can.
But I tell you now, there's nothing I long for now more than a snarky remark and the warmth of his arms around me.
Mabe I will go to sleep.
I said it meself, you don't dream about someone unless you care for them. I'm not a hypocrite. I know what this means, what it meant. It's true. I do care.
For Him.
The crew has started looking at me funny. I don't mind, I really don't blame them. I don't even argue when they make snarky comments. I haven't the energy. I'm exhausted, my energy supply is running low, and I haven't eaten what I used to consider a decent meal in days. I haven't slept in longer. I can't.
Well, I could but.. but He's there. I can't bear it. I always wake up, panicing in disgust, and the wishing with all me heart it was true. I spend a lot of time in the cargo hold now too. I sit there and think. I think about Him. I think about my boys. I miss them all so horribly. I try not to dwell on things like that, but it's.. it's hard.
I mean, the boys, they lived inside me for nine monthes. That three quaters of a year. He had to live with me like that. I was a part of them, they were a part of me. I miss them, I think about them whenever there isn't anyone about to distract me.
But I don't think I miss them as much as I miss Him. Which sounds horrible, I mean, they're me boys. They're a part of me. But.. okay, don't laugh. I think He's sort of a part of me too. He was made hologram to keep me sane. That's got to be saying something. Maybe not what I'm trying to get it to say, but something.
Maybe I'm just going crazy because He's not here to do His job. Life just isn't the same here withou Him. I really hope that He's enjoying himself immensely. I can last without Him.
Really I can.
But I tell you now, there's nothing I long for now more than a snarky remark and the warmth of his arms around me.
Mabe I will go to sleep.