***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***

I knocked on Sheila's door. I heard her call, "Come in!" I opened the door and peeked in. She was sitting on the bed, looking at a torn photo. I sat down next to her, and saw a younger Sheila in uniform, with an older couple. Sheila looked up, and her eyes were wet with tears. She sniffled, and told me, "My dad hated having his picture taken. This is one of the few I have of him. It was taken when I graduated from basic at Parris Island. And now those … punks have ruined it!"

"Sheila, what would you like to do to those kids?" I asked.

"I'd like to teach them a lesson! I'd hang 'em from a lamppost! I'd … I'd … Selina, what are you suggesting?" Sheila asked with a nervous look in her eye. "Part of me wants their guts for garters, but the lawyer part of me wants them to have a fair trial. Why, what are you suggesting?"

I gave a bright smile, and said, "What you need, girl, is to get out. Forget about being a lawyer for a while. I'm going to take you out and show you a different side of Gotham nightlife. One that most people will never see. I want you to get a shower, and then put on your absolute sexiest dress. Tonight, girl, you're going to prowl with the cat!" Sheila opened and closed her mouth, so I pulled her off the bed and gave her a gentle push toward the bathroom.

***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***

I steered the black Mercedes convertible into a parking garage, taking the ticket from the guard and giving him a dazzling smile in return. Sheila looked fabulous with her long black hair down, in a blood red minidress and matching five-inch sandals. My own black dress and pumps fit like they were sprayed on. I parked, and raised the top, then activated the alarm. I walked to the elevator, with a confused Sheila trailing behind.

"I don't understand. Why are we stopping here?" She asked.

"I need to pick up a package, and some information. We won't be long." I replied as we waited for the elevator to arrive. It dinged, and we got on, where I entered the key code for the penthouse.

***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***

I entered the apartment, and Barbara wheeled out. She said, "Hi, Selina! I'm glad you're going to be using it, it's been a long time! The item you want is through there." She pointed through a door, and as I left, she turned to Sheila, and said, "You're Sheila Hawking. I've got some information for you two. Can I offer you anything to drink, first?"

The box was sitting on the bed. I opened it to check the contents, noting what needed to be updated and replaced. It was in very good condition, so I closed it and retied the string around it, then walked back out to the living room, closing the door behind me.

Sheila was sitting back on the couch, paging through some thick files. She looked up as I entered with the box, and said, "This is amazing! Where did you get all this, and how?"

"Never ask the Oracle how she does what she does." I replied. "We're lucky that she's granted us a visit to one of her safe houses. There should be six sets of information, let's not take up any more of the Oracle's valuable time." Sheila stuffed the papers back in a manila envelope, and quickly stood up. She smiled and nodded to Barbara, extending her hand, and said, "Thank you, Ms. Oracle, for your help. I hope I can return the favor someday."

"One never knows, Counselor. One never knows. Have a pleasant evening, ladies, and I'll be in touch to find out how it went, Selina." I smiled and waved as the door closed behind us, and we entered the open elevator.

As we rode down, Sheila said, "That was the Oracle? I've heard about her, or it, but I … " I shushed her, and we waited as two elderly people got on. The elevator finally reached our level of the parking garage, and we got out. As we neared the car, I touched the remote, and was pleased to hear a beep, and see a small green light flash under the bumper.

"Nobody's touched the car." I said as the trunk popped open. I laid the box in the trunk, and motioned to Sheila to put the envelopes in, "Three things, now. One, do not, under any circumstances, draw the gun you have in your purse." Sheila looked at me, startled, and I waved off her question. "Secondly, the Oracle put her life on the line meeting you. She did so only because I vouched for you. You have not, will not, ever acknowledge that meeting. You've heard of the Oracle, but don't know anything about it. It, not she, understood?"

Sheila nodded, and I continued. "Third, we're going into some of the rougher parts of Gotham. You'll be perfectly safe as long as you're with me. You will also meet some … interesting people. People that you will immediately forget meeting. Just because I've never killed anyone, well …" Sheila swallowed, and I smiled. "Baby, you thought you'd met some wild types before? You ain't seen anything yet!"

***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***

We pulled into a parking lot, and the big, burly guy sitting on the stool said, "Lot's full, lady."

"Oh, I think I see a space, right over there." I said with a smile. "Tell your boss the kitty wants a word with him." I passed him a folded bill, flashing the tattoo on my wrist, and he gulped and said, "Yes, ma'am! Right away!" We parked, and I told Sheila, "Grab one of the envelopes." On the way out, I passed him another folded bill, and asked, "Could you make sure that the car's watched? We may need to leave suddenly." He grinned, and said, "No problem."

The doorman saw us, and waved us in, to the dark looks of the line of people waiting. I passed him a set of folded bills, and said, "Our cover charge." He smiled, and said, "The boss asked if you would mind waiting a minute at the bar. He's got some other business, he'll let you know."

"I am kind of thirsty … " I replied. "That sounds wonderful. Please let him know."

As we sat on stools in the crowded bar, I sipped my wine, and made eye contact with some people. Sheila was rigid with a combination of fear, excitement, and apprehension. I leaned over, and told her, "Loosen up. You're making people nervous, and that's not a good idea here."

"But, but … That's John "fingers" McNair over there! He's got warrants out for murder and drug trafficking! He's sitting next to 'Tiny' Musaki, one of the heads of the local Yakusa! And over there …" I shook her, and whispered, "You don't see anyone! You're blind, understand? Now sit back, drink your wine, and relax."

I saw Sheila take a deep breath, and smile at the bartender, who was obviously packing a large gun in the small of his back. He smiled back, then came over, and said, "The boss would like to see you ladies now. If you'd follow Guido?" Sheila jumped as a rough voice said, "Dis way, ladies."

Guido showed us into an opulent office, and the large man behind the desk said, "Please wait outside, Guido." Guido hesitated, and asked, "Boss, the one dame, she's got heat in her purse." Sheila swallowed, and handed Guido her purse, and he said, "T'anks." The click of the door behind him was the only sound in the room.

"So, kitten, what can I do for you? I understand you're looking for some punks. That shouldn't be too hard. What do you want done with them? You want the bodies found, or not? Since I owe you one, I'll find them for you, but getting rid of the bodies will cost you."

I glanced at Sheila, and said, "Alive, but with enough evidence so the cops will have a slam-dunk conviction, and they'll have a nice long vacation in Blackgate."

"Simple enough. I have a few guns I need to make vanish. Any questions, counselor?" Sheila started, and the large man chuckled and said, "You're not the only one in your firm to have occasional contact with me, Ms. Hawking, and no, I won't tell you who or what. I don't ask for your secrets, and you don't ask me. Think of it as a 'godfather : client' relationship, if that helps." She nodded, and he held out his hand. Sheila nervously handed him the envelope, eyeing his ring, and he chuckled again. He pressed a button, and Guido reappeared. The boss said, "Guido, return the lady's purse, and show them out. Oh, and kitten, if you see the bird, tell him we need to meet again, would you?" I nodded, and the boss mentioned, "Counselor, I would suggest that you find a reason not to represent these clients. I'm sure that you can come up with something. We'll be in touch. Have a nice evening, ladies."

***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***

I waited for a break in the traffic, then waved to the parking guy. The Benz was, of course, in perfect condition, and I lowered the top. We stopped at the light, and Sheila said, "That was 'Boss' Marone."

I nodded, and said, "Yep."

"He's, he's …"

"Mafia. Yep." The light changed, and I accelerated. I glanced at Sheila, and said, "What's your point? You want them killed? Want me to go back?"

"No! But what did he mean about the bird?"

"That's our next stop. The Iceberg."

***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***

I pulled into another parking lot, and raised the top again. Sheila got out, and then said, "So what is this Iceberg? Isn't there another parking guy?"

"Well, first of all, this is neutral territory. No guns, no weapons. Just people having a good time. There's no need for a parking guy here. Take a look at the back of that stop sign." As she walked over to it, I popped the trunk, and extracted three envelopes, then walked over to join Sheila.

"I don't get it. What do they mean?" Sheila asked, pointing at the symbols.

"They're turf signs. This one is mine." I said, tapping one. "The bisected circle is Two-face, the caduceus is Ivy, the J with bells is Joker. I think you can figure out the rest. C'mon. I need to use the ladies' room."

Sheila paused, and said, "The Joker? Are you insane? We'll be killed!"

I stopped and turned to face her. "No, I said this was neutral territory. As long as you don't draw that gun, we'll be perfectly fine. Anyone trying anything would be insane here. Besides, just because he's a psychopathic killer, doesn't mean that Joker's not a party animal. You should see him on karoke night!" I walked a few feet more, then added, "Besides, tonight's ladies' night! Two for one!" Sheila shrugged, then followed me.

***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***

"Wak, wak! Kitten, who's your friend?"

I said, "Sheila, I'd like you to meet my friend Oswald Cobblepot, also known as…"

"The Penguin!" Sheila looked around, and said, "I like this place, Mr. Cobblepot!" She rubbed her arms, then added, "Isn't it a little chilly?"

"Wak, wak! We birds are a bit better insulated than you are, my dear. I'll have a sweater sent to your table." I intercepted him as he turned to leave, and said, "Oswald, I need a small favor, and Boss Marone wants to meet with you again."

"Wak, wak! Oh, yes, I'll give him a call. Thank you, my dear. What favor might this poor bird do for the kitty cat?"

"Briefly, I need to find some people. Alive, and with sufficient evidence so they'll have a nice long stay in Blackgate."

"Shouldn't be too hard, my dear. Wak, wak! Now, let me show you to your table. Wak, wak!" He took the envelope of information, and we followed him to a table.

***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***

The waitress was wearing an abbreviated leotard that had been modified to look like a tuxedo, with fishnet hose and heels. I smiled at her, and ordered wine, as did Sheila. I then stood, and said, "I'm going to powder my nose. Want to join me?"

***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***

I was washing my hands, when a petite redhead wearing a green dress came in, and rummaged in her purse. A blonde in a black skirt with a red and white top was fixing her makeup. Sheila joined us, and quickly checked her own. I waited, with my hand on the door, and said, "Pamela, Harley, if you're not with someone, you're welcome to join us."

The redhead nodded, the blonde squeaked, "Sure. I wanted to talk to ya, anyway."

***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***

The waitress delivered our wine and Sheila's sweater, and asked, "What can I get you ladies?" Pamela stuck with wine, while Harley, who didn't look old enough to drink, ordered hot chocolate and a sweater. She winked, and said, "The place looks nice, but it's winter and Pengy keeps the A/C running'. I think he's wacko, don't you?"

Pamela said, "You're the head shrinker, not I. I'm just a simple botanist." She glanced at me, and said, "I hear that your on-again, off-again thing with the Bat is on again. Personally, I've never understood what you see in *men*, especially that one."

Harley said, "Part of its biology, Pammie. I mean, I like girls and all, but my puddin' just … rings my bells, y'know what I'm sayin'?"

Sheila asked, "Your puddin, err, boyfriend, where is he?"

Harley sighed, and said, "He's in one 'a his noble moods. 's why I love him so. He's down with a head cold, and I offered to stay home and nurse him, but no, not my puddin', he said, 'It's Saturday night, go, have fun, paint the town red.' I offered to fetch him a doc, but he was happy wit' a big pot of my chicken soup and the TV remote." She sighed again, and added, "He was watchin' some ball game when I left. I'll probably get home to find him asleep on the couch with the TV on. That's my Mistah J for ya!"

Pamela shuddered delicately, and asked me, "What brings you by here tonight, kitten, especially with a guest?" She eyed Sheila, and I smiled, and said, "Well, a girl has to get out once in awhile by herself. Sheila here is my temporary roomie, her apartment got broken into and trashed by some punks, and so until I can upgrade her security, she's staying with me. Besides, she's my lawyer, so she can tell me when I do something naughty." I winked, and said, "Besides, all of her things were ruined, her clothes, her plants, her furniture. I was thinking that someone here might have an idea where those punks might be hiding."

"Your plants? They killed your plants? Your babies? Who are these murderers? What do you want done with them? Can I have them for fertilizer?" Pamela shouted.

Sheila winced, and said, "No, I want them alive and hanging from a streetlight. Just so they can have a nice dark cell in Blackgate, where they won't see the sun for a long time."

Pamela subsided, and I passed her one of the packets of information. She nodded, and said, "I won't promise that I won't … borrow … a bit of blood or flesh, now. Nothing critical, you understand." She gave a nasty smile, and Harley giggled. She leaned over and whispered something to Pamela, who gave a slow smile, and added, "That's what I was thinking, but that, ooh, that makes it so much better! Let's get together and make some plans, Harley, dear."

I mentioned, "Harley, you owe me one for including me in your little 'birthday present' the other day. I'll consider it settled if you work with Pamela, but remember, alive. Lots of evidence for the cops. Let's help them get their statistics up for the month, shall we?"

"So what are you ladies giggling about?" A deep male voice asked.

I looked up, and said, "Hello, Harvey. How are you tonight? Have you met my friend and attorney, Sheila Hawking?"

"No, I haven't. Congratulations on making senior partner!" He said, and reached out to shake Sheila's hand. Pulling a chair close, he sat between Sheila and Pamela.

"How … how did you know?" Sheila asked.

"It was in the Gotham county Bar weekly, of course! I try never to miss an issue. Ah, I do miss the practice, the give and take before the bar. So, what brings you down to the Iceberg?"

"Why, we're just two girls out doing a bit of clubbing." I said with a smile. Harvey grinned, and said, "Of course. Speaking as a former prosecutor, since you're out on bond, you can't be accused of violating it in the presence of your attorney, now can you? Still, an able defense attorney is a good person to know. Ms. Hawking, would you happen to have a business card or two? I think that you might be able to generate some 'rain' here."

Sheila started to dig into her tiny purse, finally emptying it onto the table. Harvey saw the tiny gun, and picked it up, with a, "Tisk, tisk. I do hope it's licensed, Ms. Hawking. Still, if you insist on carrying, this little thing won't do more than bruise someone."

Harley piped up, "I carry this lil' one. Mistah J modified the bullets for me with some of his own special magic." She pulled out a small gun, and Harvey nodded. "A nice little Walther 9mm. Personally, I prefer the stopping power of a heavier round." He pulled out an enormous revolver, and said, "The Smith .44 caliber. Too much recoil for a smaller person like you or Harley, but I find it's just right for me." He made the revolver disappear again, and asked, "Find your cards?"

### Chapter 17: Of Mafia and Madmen