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"It's six a.m. on October 31st, and it's a good, frosty Halloween morning to everyone from Gotham's oldies station, WGHO! I'm Shawna Foxx; getting you up and out of your cozy den, so get your paw off that snooze button! I'll be here with you till ten, but now we've got Alex with the early morning traffic report, and then the weather and news." I slapped the snooze button, yawned, and dragged myself out of the warm blankets, then stretched and walked into the bathroom.
The radio came back on as I was brushing my teeth, and I heard Shawna say, "… getting to our interview with Ms. Lane, and her new book, 'Falling off the roof, again!' shortly. We'll also be talking about Halloween parties and costumes, but first, I'd like to say welcome back to one of our own. Batgirl, if you're listening, I'd like to say once again, thanks for your saving my life last night. As you folks may know, there's a media convention in town, which is why Ms. Lane has ventured into our fair city. I was walking Ms. Lane back to her hotel when we were abducted at gunpoint by one of the local gangs. I don't want to mention whom, as I don't want to screw up the prosecution's case. As people know, the gang problem is one that the Gotham cops, despite their best efforts, have had troubles with. In any case, no sooner had we been hustled into an alleyway, then BOOM! Batgirl lands on them like … the hammer of Thor. She was with Spoiler, who we haven't seen much of, but by the time they were done, the gang was lying bleeding on the ground. The whole thing couldn't have been more than a minute, folks, and twelve armed killers against two heroes. You know who won."
There was a moment of silence, and then she continued. "In any case, once again, I'd like to give my thanks to our own, officially non-existent but very, very real, urban legends, the Bat folks." Shawna cleared her throat, and added, "I'm sure that the boss and the lawyers would like me to add that the preceding has been my own personal opinion, and not that of WGHO radio. Now, back to the music. We've got what I think is appropriately titled, 'A hard day's night.'"
I grinned at the radio. I finished flossing, used the mouthwash, and checked my appearance before heading downstairs to breakfast.
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I strolled into the kitchen, and Alfred looked up and blinked. "Miss Selina." He said. "Perhaps you had forgotten to change from the previous evening's activities?"
I smiled, and said. "Did you forget today is Halloween, my friend? Today should prove most interesting." It was strange, but I wondered how I would do in the costume contest. I didn't plan on making more than a token visit, but it should be fun. I poured myself a cup of tea, and waved the pot at Alfred, who nodded.
Sheila entered the room, yawning, and wearing a business suit. She carried her Lantern outfit in a garment bag. She poured herself a cup of coffee, and said, "One court appearance, then I'm changing. I don't know how you do it, Selina. We got in at three thirty, spend about half an hour doing maintenance and cleaning up, and here you are at seven, bright and fresh. I really had to drag myself out of bed." She slurped her coffee, and said, "What's the secret?"
"Relaxation and meditation." I said. "I'll show you how. An hour's meditation is good for several hours sleep, although the sleep debt does have to be paid eventually. We've been doing that on weekends. I feel like I slept for ten hours, even though I spent half an hour making notes after you went upstairs."
Sheila slurped again. "I could use it. You both have been doing this every night for how many years?"
"Far, far too many." Alfred said.
"The job's not over yet." Bruce said. He asked Sheila, "Now that you've had a taste of it, what did you think of it? Remember, you still need a lot of training before you're ready to go out on your own, or face killers like Joker, Two-Face, and Ivy. It's not an easy job."
"I think that you need help, and I'm willing. Or should I say, Ms. Justice is!" Sheila said. She looked at our faces and asked, "Too corny?"
"No more so than Batgirl." I said with a smile. "Welcome to the family!"
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It was amusing to ride the Metro as Catwoman, complete with tail. There were a few other people also wearing what they thought were Halloween costumes. I clocked in to work, and noticed Clarissa had also worn a Catwoman outfit - a very revealing version. The Bruce part of me admired her outfit; the Selina part admired her nerve. Helen showed up dressed as Harley a few minutes later.
"Nice outfits, you two." I complemented. "Let's see what kind of reactions we get." The phone rang, and I used my Catwoman voice to purr, "District Attorney's Office, where shall I direct your call?"
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Helen asked, "Have you seen what other people are wearing? The best one I've seen so far is Lawrence, from the DA's office. He's come in as Two-Face."
"He's got the build for it." I said.
"And the butt!" Clarissa agreed, before answering the phone. She listened a minute, before hanging up. "Mrs. Harris was in an car accident. She says that she wasn't hurt, but she'll be late coming in, if she can make it at all. She asked us to deliver the paychecks." She got a look in her eye, and said, "I'll put them together, but Selina, would you mind delivering them? You still haven't met all of our people that work in the building. Besides, it will be good to get off the phones for a while."
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Clarissa walked up with a tray full of envelopes. I gazed at them, and Clarissa grinned evilly. She said, "I'm getting into this character! Okay, Selina, what you have to do is to hand the check only to each person, and they have to sign for it." She waved a sheaf of paper at me. "If they're not in, then they'll come by Mrs. Harris' office to get it. When I've done it, I've just started on this floor, and worked my way up. Enjoy!" I logged off my workstation, and smiled at her.
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I finished the fourth and final floor, and thought about why only about half of the WayneCorp employees I had checks for existed. I stopped in the Public Assistance office's copy room on the fourth floor, and made copies of the lists, then stopped by the gym and put the copies in my locker. I shrugged, and continued to the elevator, while trying to think of a good reason for the discrepancy. The only ones that I could think of were ominous, and tied into the irregularities in WayneCorp's HR and Finance divisions.
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I put the remaining envelopes in Mrs. Harris' office, and locked the door. I strolled over to my workstation, and told Clarissa, "That's done, and the leftovers are locked in Mrs. Harris' office. Anything happen?"
"Nope. We're going to lunch. You don't mind covering the desk by yourself, do you?" Clarissa asked.
"Not at all, but I'm going to work out, and I'm demanding an extra fifteen minutes to get in and out of this thing!" I said with a smile. I added, "Let me know if you see any other good costumes, would you?" I made shooing motions, and they laughed and logged off. I waited, and after a few minutes, started calling up internal phone lists, and printing them. These would list everyone working in the building, with his or her phone extensions. There had to be an explanation.
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The phone lists were securely hidden in my purse, and I had composed a quick email to Steph. I figured the IS director would know how many people were actually working at this location.
From: Selina Kyle skyle@waynecorp.net
To: Stephanie Miller smiller@waynecorp.net
Subject: Wonderful people!
Stephanie,
I just love this job, especially all the people here! Why, there must be three hundred WayneCorp people working here in this one office! It's such a fun group of people, too! Still, I miss the people there. The people down the hall were asking about you. What's new?
Selina
I thought, :: The people 'down the hall' should clue in Stephanie to talk to Tee's security folks, who were on the opposite end of a corridor. ::
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When I got back from lunch and my workout, I logged back in, and found a reply.
From: Stephanie Miller smiller@waynecorp.net
To: Selina Kyle skyle@waynecorp.net
Subject: Re: Wonderful people!
Sel:
I agree, this is the best bunch of co-workers I've ever had! People here miss you, especially your friend Jonas. By the way, he's a lucky man; he won $175 betting on the Knights the other day. Other than that, like Joanie always says, same old, same old.
~SM~
I grinned to myself. I doubted that born-again Christian Jonas would be doing something as sinful as gambling, but it told me how many people there should be here. I also had to give my evidence to Joanie. I thought for a minute.
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From: Selina Kyle skyle@waynecorp.net
To: Stephanie Miller smiller@waynecorp.net
Subject: RE: Re: Wonderful people!
Stephanie,
If you see Joanie, ask her to look me up, would you? I've got that money I owe her, now that I've gotten my paycheck!
Selina
:: That should do it! There's nothing suspicious about someone repaying a debt. :: I thought. College student Joanie didn't have the money to be making loans, but unless you knew that, it wouldn't be suspicious.
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From: Stephanie Miller smiller@waynecorp.net
To: Selina Kyle skyle@waynecorp.net
Subject: RE: RE: Re: Wonderful people!
Sel:
She's supposed to be down there first thing Monday morning; she'll look you up then. I guess you'll be entering the costume contest there, like you did here last year? I bet you take first prize again!
~SM~
:: Okay! Joanie is clued in, and I'll see her Monday. I wonder what the reference to the costume contest is. Maybe she's just curious. ::
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From: Selina Kyle skyle@waynecorp.net
To: Stephanie Miller smiller@waynecorp.net
Subject: Re: RE: Re: Wonderful people!
Stephanie,
I didn't have much time to think of something original, so I just decided to wear the same thing I wore last year, but I added the tail back in. Did you wear your crown this year? I think this is so much fun, we've got some good costumes here. There's a really good Harlequin and Catwoman, and one of the attorneys is doing a good Two-Face. Got any pictures?
Selina
:: This was just a fun reply. :: I thought. For a second, I wondered why I cared about a costume contest.
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I grinned to myself. The phone rang, and Clarissa picked up, listened a second, then said, "Selina, line 23 is for you. It's Cyndi from Dr. Phillips' office. "
I touched the right button, and said, "Hello, Cyndi. This is Selina Kyle". I brushed my hair out of my eyes, and shifted in my seat. "I'M WHAT?" I screamed. People looked at me. In a daze, I hung up on Cyndi, and moaned, "Oh, my god. This can't be true."
"Selina? What's wrong?" Clarissa asked.
I whispered, "I'm pregnant."
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### Chapter 26: Of Payday and Surprises