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We rode toward the Student Union, when Spoiler asked, "We allowed to eat on patrol, boss-lady? I had to work through lunch and dinner."
Oracle said, "Sure, Spoiler. Don't let Batgirl be a wet blanket. What were you thinking?"
"They've got food booths set up over there. C'mon, I'll buy you a slice of pizza, boss-lady."
"Gawd, that sounds good. It's been so long …" Oracle sighed, then said, "Go ahead, Spoiler. Have a slice for me, with lots of mushrooms and anchovies. And pineapple. Can't forget the pineapple."
"You got it, Oracle. Sounds good." Spoiler wheeled her bike into the parking lot, and killed the engine. She looked at me as I sat astride my still-idling bike. "You coming?"
I sighed. "All right. I'm hungry too, and it will increase my visibility. One slice can't hurt, but we'll work it off tomorrow."
Spoiler dismounted. "Zogger? Sounds like fun. I'll get the pizza, you get the soda." She looked at my expression, and said, "Every war has lulls, boss-lady."
I parked and killed the engine.
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Spoiler met me at some picnic tables set up on the lawn. She gave me a huge slice of pizza, spilling over the paper plate, and a couple of paper towels, and accepted the cup of Diet Coke I set next to her. She pulled her hood back, and smiled at me behind her mask. "There you go, boss-lady. One slice with everything, and I do mean everything, on it. Bon appetite!"
A stick-thin waif with long red hair and a generous amount of cleavage motioned to the table, and said, "May we join you?" Spoiler waved at her and her blonde partner. The waif set down a pizza box from the same place, and dug in.
Spoiler picked up her slice, folded it lengthwise, and took a bite. After she swallowed, she sighed, and said, "Pineapple on a pizza reminds me of this joint we went to on Okinawa. Lousy part of town, but great food." She took a gulp of Coke, then another bite.
I glared at Spoiler as she took another bite. "Careful, Spoiler."
The waif had finished two of the monster slices, and was starting on a third. Her partner noticed my looking at her, and grinned. "She'll eat most of the pizza, and tomorrow morning she won't have gained a gram." she said with a faint German accent. "I hate her for that. I can barely finish one. Look at her, a size four."
"I'm a five, Greta." the waif said. She stopped for breath, and said, "Would you two by any chance actually be … ?"
"Batgirl and Spoiler? Yes, we are. What can we do for you?" I asked.
"Oh, nothing! I just wanted to thank you!"
"Ja." Greta said. "When I go home to Germany, people ask, 'Was hören um diesen Schlagholz Mann wir ungefähr? Haben Sie ihn gesehen?' (What about this Bat-Man we hear about? Have you seen him?)"
The waif said, "'Jetzt können Sie sagen, daß Sie Schlagholz Mädchen und ihr sidekick, Spoiler getroffen haben.' (Now you can say that you've met Bat-girl and her sidekick, Spoiler.)" She added, "Eating pizza, just like regular folks."
"Well, we are just regular people. We're just in a different line of work." I said. My stomach growled, and I took a determined bite of pizza, while the waif finished her fourth slice. Spoiler finished hers, and took a drink of Coke. I took another bite, and a sharp spike of pain hit me in the abdomen. I dropped the pie and bent over with a small gasp.
"Batgirl? What's wrong?" Spoiler asked. I stood up, staggered over to a garbage can, and emptied my stomach. I stood coughing, wracked with dry heaves.
"Batgirl?" I looked up into Spoiler's worried eyes.
I coughed a couple more times, then whispered, "Nine more months of this …" I took the Coke that Spoiler handed me with a nod of thanks. A sip of it stayed down, so I took another gulp. I took a deep breath, then looked at Greta and the waif, and said, "Sorry."
"First one?" the waif asked. I looked at her, startled, and she shrugged and said, "My sister was like that. Couldn't keep anything down but dry wheat toast, boiled eggs, and Coke. Couldn't even substitute Pepsi. She was in horrible shape when it came time to … you know."
Spoiler said, "You understand what would happen if this got around, don't you?"
"We have a pretty good idea." Greta said.
The waif nodded, and said, "I'm Erin O'Reilly, she's Greta VonDamm. We can keep our mouths closed."
"On one condition." Greta said. "We'd like to see the baby afterwards, if that's ok."
I glanced at Spoiler, and said, "You're room mates? We'll see. Thanks."
Erin said, "Yes, and I'd like to say thank YOU, Batgirl. Thanks for all you've done for this city."
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"You going to be ok to ride?" Spoiler asked.
"Why, what happened?" Oracle asked.
"Prenatal tummy upset." Spoiler replied.
"I'm all right now." I insisted. "We need to get back on patrol."
"No, you need to get back and get some rest, young lady. Do I have to call in Batman?" Oracle asked.
"It's almost three AM. I vote for bed, myself." Spoiler added.
I was about to argue, when a spike of pain lanced through me. I gritted my teeth, and said, "All right. It's been a quiet night. We'll head in."
"Hallelujah! A victory for common sense." Spoiler quipped.
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I killed the engine in the maintenance bay, and stood, hiding a wince. I started to check the bike out, suppressing with gritted teeth another sharp spike of pain in my abdomen. Sheila saw me tense, and said, "I'll do yours, Batgirl."
"No. I take care of my own equipment." I wheeled the bike over to the fuel pump, and unscrewed the cap. I took a sharp breath, and Sheila took the fuel nozzle out of my hand.
"Has Alfred ever helped out? Has Dick? Let us help you." She turned me to face her, and said, "Look, Selina. You've never experienced a period, or menstrual cramps. The boys have no idea what they're like. Take your big sister's advice, take your uniform off, go upstairs, and soak in a hot tub. Not a shower, a tub. I'd suggest a vibrator beforehand, but definitely a hot tub. Now go!"
"But … I need to … "
"Go. I'll take care of it." A crooked smile appeared on Spoiler's face. "What else is family for?"
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Sheila knocked on the bathroom door, and asked, "Selina? How are you doing?"
I looked up from my position, sitting on the edge of the tub in my underwear, and said, "As well as you could expect. Come in, Sheila."
She took a seat on the lid of the toilet, and noticed the large purple device I was turning in my hands. She grinned, and said, "What is it with you and purple?" I started to reply, but she continued, "It's not going to do you any good to simply hold it. You need to use it…
I interrupted, "To relieve the pain?" I shook my head. "I can see a hot tub as a muscle relaxant, but pain can be controlled through meditation." I frowned at her, adding, "I've had my back broken, and survived Venom. A few muscle spasms are nothing. Thanks for your help, Sheila." I stood, and slid open a drawer in the vanity, tossing the device in. I turned to work the bathtub faucets, ignoring her presence.
"If you think it's just muscle spasms, you're in for a surprise. See you in the morning." Sheila said quietly as she left, robe swirling around her.
### Chapter 29: Of Pizza and Motorcycles
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