Shared Destiny

Author: Norwalker

Part 6 of ?

Summary: Faith asks, in Enemies, " Everybody  asks why can't you be more like Buffy. But does anyone ask why Buffy can't be more like me?" So, what if , after season 3, Buffy became more like Faith?

Rating/ Category:  Rated R  Romance/Angst

Spoilers: Possible season 3 and after spoilers.

Time Line: Departs after season 3

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon , Mutant Enemy and Fox own them.

Warnings: Dark fiction. Character Death happens, please be aware of this. Strong language, sexual situations between members of the same sex. Violence. Possible racial/ethnic slurs that the author in no way supports or shares.

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

"Why should we go back?"

Faith, Buffy, Giles and Angel were sitting in Angel's office in the old converted hotel that was now Angel Investigations. Joining them at the little conference were Charles Gunn, aka Gunn, and Cordelia Chase. But they weren't sitting at the table. They hung in the corners, observing but not really part of the discussion. Buffy posed this question as she looked at Giles and Angel with a less than friendly expression on her face.

Tears are fine. They helped purge the hurts and frustrations Buffy had been feeling over her life, how she was descending into hell. But they didn't 'fix' the root cause of her bitterness. She still felt betrayed by those whom she'd risked her life to save. She'd still spent time in prison for something she shouldn't have. For the most part, the very people she'd risked it all for had turned their back on her….why? She still didn't have a satisfactory answer.

"Why should we put our lives on the line to save people who don't give a damn? Who, more than that, decided * I * was a menace. They put me in prison for stabbing Faith, Giles" Buffy says, her voice low and angry," Who at the time was doing her best to help the mayor destroy Sunnydale".

Faith winces. She so didn't need to be reminded of that.

" And the funniest thing is, they come after HER, when she's conscious again, for working FOR the mayor? Doesn't anyone but me see the irony here?" Buffy just shakes her head and looks away.

" I kinda have to agree with the slayer…er.. Buffy on this one" Gunn pipes up from the corner." Kinda looks like the both of them got the shaft , no matter which side they were on. Doesn't seem right, somehow"

" Buffy, it's not that simple…" Angel starts, but Buffy cuts him off.

" Seems simple enough to me. Go back, fight, and get thrown in prison again. Yup, I know I'm looking forward to it" Buffy mocks him.

" What Angel was trying to say" Giles says, a little sternly," Is that there are dark forces on the City Council. The mayor wasn't the only one with an agenda. These forces, or whatever you will, were trying to get the slayers out of the way. There's a reason for it, and that's why you're needed".

" More Oogah-Boogah, G?" Faith asks," Every occur to you guys that these 'forces' just don't like B, or me, or the mayor, or you? Got an itch, and we're the scratch?"

" Faith, that's really not helping" Angel says, quietly." Did you consider that these 'forces' have to be pretty powerful to get the DA, the police, and a good portion of the City Council to go along with this elaborate scheme?"

" Dunno, Fang" Faith says, a little sarcastically," Sunnydale aint exactly L.A, now is it? Probably didn't' take that much to bribe the right bumpkins to get the job done. The mayor, I'm sure, made some pretty powerful enemies, too. Explain why they're after me".

" How do you explain Buffy, then, Faith?" Giles asks gently." You and she weren't exactly friends when she went to prison, were you?" Giles looks at Faith, who looks at her hands," you were in a coma. Buffy was the only active slayer. Seems to me that someone, or some group, wanted both slayers out of the way. So they could set their plans in motion".

" So how come they haven't done it yet, Giles?" Buffy asks." I was in prison 2 ½ years. Why hasn't Sunnydale gone poof?"

" I think possibly the timing was off, and they met some reverses" Giles says," They meant for you to be in prison longer. They actually, from what I found out, tried to kill Faith while she was in a coma" Faith and Buffy's eyes both go wide," Seems the Watcher's Council wasn't the only ones trying to get to the slayers. They were hoping that if Faith died, Buffy would've gotten Murder 2… and been in a lot longer. Would've killed two birds with one stone", Giles finishes quietly.

" What happened? Why didn't they …?" Faith asks, shaken.

" You had someone there watching over you while Buffy was on trial" Giles says, quietly." Angel, and Gunn, and Cordelia. We suspected something like this might happen, so we kept an eye out for anyone suspicious getting close to you"

To say Faith is surprised, is an understatement. She sits, her mouth slightly parted.

"Ummm… thanks?" Faith says, at a loss for words.

" I wish I could say we did it for you, Faith" Angel says," but it really was for Buffy".

" Yeah, well, that figures" Faith says," not like there's any love lost around this table". Faith is a little upset she needed help, even if it wasn't because of her from those who'd been her enemies. Possibly a little bitter too, because it was because of Buffy, and not because of her.

"Faith, you made your choice back then" Cordelia chimes in," not like anyone put a gun to your head and said " You gotta be bad".

" That's enough, Cordelia" Giles says, firmly," that's the past"

" I was just pointing out…." Cordelia says, a bit haughtily. She's interrupted by Angel.

" Yes, we know, Cordy" he says quietly, " let it go now".

Cordy rolls her eyes, and moves away.

" Not like you guys exactly welcomed me with open arms, ya know" Faith says, " you all acted like I was some intruder on Buffy's little show. Everybody wanted me to be like Buffy. " Why can't you be more like Buffy?" I kept hearing." Faith continues, her bitterness coming out," Well, newsflash. I'm not Buffy. I can't BE Buffy. Ok, so I fucked up, but I didn't exactly stab myself ya know? I wouldn't have needed 'protection' if I hadn't been stabbed, to feed me to Fang over here" She points at Angel.

" I know, Faith" Buffy says quietly, but her voice expressing her regret.

" I'm sorry, B" Faith says, sincerely apologetic. She didn't want to upset B anymore, " but, it's true".

Buffy doesn't say anything, she just nods.

"Well, that's grateful for you" Cordy says from her corner.

" Cordelia? Shut up!" Buffy says, firmly.

" What? I was just trying to…"Cordelia says, getting a bit irritated, " I mean, she has some nerve…"

" We understand, Cordelia" Angel says, quietly. He turns to Buffy and says," You didn't tell her, did you?"

"What?" Faith asks, confused." Didn't tell me what?"

"It's nothing, forget it" Buffy says, shooting looks around the table.

" Let me be the judge of that, will ya?" Faith says. She looks around the table. " What didn't she tell me?"

"Nothing!" Buffy says, firmly. She doesn't want this known.

" While Buffy was in prison" Giles begins, but Buffy talks over him.

" Shut up, Giles!" Buffy growls.

" No, Buffy. I won't" Giles says, firmly, " Faith has a right to know"

"Yean, I do, don't I?" Faith says, smirking. "Go on, G, spill it!"

" While Buffy was in prison" Giles starts again, but is interrupted this time by Buffy standing up, and leaving the table. He continues," the Watcher's Council got it into their heads to eliminate the current slayers. They figured if they…terminated you both, they could activate a new slayer, more compliant to their wishes. You know that's how she got those scars, right?" Giles asks.

" Yeah, she said something like that to me" Faith remembers the conversation.

" Well, they were going to come after you too, Faith. Buffy, from prison, arranged for you to be protected 24/ 7  with a bodyguard. She also convinced Willow to maintain a protection spell around you, to prevent any other kinds of harm." Giles finishes up, looking at Faith for a reaction.

This time, Faith is stunned. After going to prison because of her, and fighting off council assassins, never mind the regular good times the other inmates would've given her, she…cared enough for her…then… to make sure she was protected. She's speechless.

"Excuse me" Faith says, standing up. She sees the expressions on the other's faces. "I promise, this'll only take a minute. I'll bring her back in…just give me a minute." She walks out of the office, into the lobby.

Buffy is standing there, looking out the windows that front the old hotel. She's standing with her back to faith, her stance stiff and a little rigid. Faith approaches her quietly, and puts a hand on her shoulder. Buffy, startled, whirls around. Seeing it's Faith, she relaxes a little, but still is a bundle of nerve endings. She backs off a little.

"What? Are they all uptight, wondering if I bolted or something?" Buffy asks, evading the issue.

" Why didn't you tell me, B?" Faith asks, quietly. Not letting Buffy get away with it.

" Tell you what?" Buffy asks, pretending ignorance.

" You know perfectly well 'what' , B" Faith says, softly." Why?"

" Wasn't important" Buffy says shortly, turning away.

Faith moves to Buffy, and slides her hands around Buffy's waist. Every time she does that, she still finds it hard how small this woman is, how tiny…and how powerful. She whispers gently in her ear.

" It's important to me, B" Faith whispers, her lips almost caressing Buffy's ear.

 Buffy feels little shivers down her spine, but doesn't react otherwise.

" Didn't you think I'd want to know about that?" Faith whispers softly, her warm breath tickling Buffy's ear." That you cared that much about me? Didn't you think I'd be grateful?" Faith pulls Buffy even closer, so they're touching body to body. Buffy stiffens in her arms, and pulls away, raising her hands to wave Faith off. She walks away, and turns.

" I didn't want that. I didn't want you "grateful" or " obligated" or anything. I just wanted you safe, so you could, when you woke up, have a life. The life I stole from you. That's all there was to it." Buffy says, upset. She turns and walks further away.

" Dammit, B, stop it!" Faith says, following her. She catches up to Buffy, and turns her around. " Look at me, B." But Buffy looks everywhere except into Faith's eyes " Look at me" Faith says, holding her head. Buffy relents.

" Listen to me, now" Faith continues, " you didn't steal my life!  That night, where my head was at, if you hadn't stopped me, I probably would've killed you!" Faith says, a tinge of remorse in her voice, " I hated you right then, B. I thought you'd caused all my problems. I blamed you for it all. Don't you get it? I didn't take responsibility for killing Alan Finch, and I wasn't going to take responsibility for fucking up my life!" Faith stops to catch her breath. She continues," I would've merrily killed you on that rooftop that night, B, and not looked back. I was that far gone! If not for you, if you hadn't stopped me, I don't know what I'd be right now" Faith says, then shifts gears a little, " no, that's not true. I woulda been Wilkins hired killer. And nothing else. I realize now he was just using me, playing on my weakness." Faith stops, this is hard to admit," I wanted so badly to be loved, to be wanted by someone, I picked a demon who showed me a tiny bit of affection. I turned my back on what I knew was right, because he acted like the dad I never had. I needed that B, and I was too weak and too stupid to see that he was just using me for his own ends".

" You saved me that night, B. I know that wasn't what you were trying to do. I know you were going to feed me to Fang. But intentional or not, you saved my fucking life that night. You saved my soul. I was going to hell, and you pulled me back at the last second" Faith's voice cracks, " I… can't thank you enough, ever, for that. And on top of that, you protected me when no one else would. When they would've been just as happy if I did die. YOU protected me."

" You tell me you don't want me to be grateful, but how else can I feel?  You don't want me to feel obligated, but I got no choice in it. Even if you hadn't protected me while I was in a coma, I still owe you. You saved me from going to hell. But, B, it's not gratefulness, or obligation I feel here" Faith takes Buffy's hand, and puts it on her heart, " it's love. I love you, baby. Cuz these months we've spent together, I've seen how you treat me, how you care about me, but more. I see you accept me as I  am, warts and all. I thought all the time in Sunnyhell, how it was you trying to make me more like you. But it wasn't. It was me, inside, wishing I could be more like you. As you were then. Sweet, decent, and loving. I didn't get it. I was jealous. But deep down that's what I wanted. I wanted to be you!! I wanted you to see me , love me. That's what I wanted all along. But I was so fucked up I didn't see it, couldn't accept it, even when you tried. And you did try, I know that now."

" So, yeah, when you do something as incredibly wonderful as you did, you're damned right I wanna know it. Cuz it just makes me feel even more special!!!!".

"Faith…." Buffy starts.

" Shut up, B. You talk too much" Faith says. Without another word, she pulls Buffy close, and kisses her. A deep kiss, but with all the love she feels for the smaller woman. Buffy, overwhelmed, just melts into her arms. She returns the kiss with a fevered passion. They finally break for air. Faith licks her lips.

" Mmmm, nice" Faith murmurs softly." Now, lets go back in there, and give 'em some more hell, 'k?" Faith grins at her.

" You bet, right after this" Buffy pulls Faith in, and they share another passionate kiss.

And another

And another.

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

"Does that feel better now, baby?" Tara asked Willow.

Willow was lying on the bed, Tara rubbing her temples, neck and  behind her ears. She was having another one of her headaches.

Tara was worried. Willow had been getting the headaches more and more frequently. At first, they seemed normal enough. Willow had been under a lot of stress lately, what with school, and magic, and trying to plan for post graduation. And Buffy, of course.

Buffy's reappearance, then sudden disappearance from Sunnydale had throw Willow for a bit of a loop. Willow had been very excited to see Buffy again. After all, before… well, before Buffy had been sentenced to prison, they'd been very close. They'd hung out a lot together, sharing everything. They'd even planned on going to college together… UC Sunnydale, because of course Buffy really couldn't get away from Sunnydale, being the slayer and all. Willow had her choice of schools; she could have gone to Harvard, Yale, even Oxford in England had wanted her. But she chose to stay here, to " learn more about her Wiccan craft, and to fight evil. Help people" as she put it. Though, Tara suspected she wanted to be close to Buffy, too.

When Buffy had been convicted, and sent to prison, it'd devastated Willow. The basic injustice of it really rankled her world view. But she stuck around , hoping at least to stay in contact with Buffy through visits, try to keep the slayer encouraged and hopeful. It'd been quite a blow when Buffy had told Willow not to come anymore. Willow knew in her head that Buffy was merely trying to spare her the pain of seeing her behind bars, but in her heart, she'd felt a deep rejection by her friend.

She hadn't been able to see any reason to stick around… not until Tara came into her life. She'd broken up with Oz, which had truly devastated her. It was by chance she met Tara at her Wicca group, and they hit it off almost immediately. They found, unlike the group, that they shared a deep interest in magic. They started doing spells together, simple stuff at first. But that  led to more complex  and powerful stuff, and as their abilities grew, so did their regard, and eventually their feelings for each other.  Tara already was out about being gay, but it took longer for Willow to come around. Finally though, they admitted their feelings for each other, and became roommates and lovers.

They'd been together nearly 2 years now, and both were comfortable around each other. The initial shyness of new love had worn off, but the passion was still quite powerful. As was the magic. In some ways, it made Tara uneasy. Though she'd been practicing much longer than Willow, Willow was by far the more powerful of the two. Willow was a natural… that very rare individual born with the power. It'd been dormant in her until she met Buffy, and explored magic as a way to help Buffy in her fight against the forces of darkness. It'd been slow going at first for her. While she had the power, the concentration, the focus wasn't as well developed. Tara helped her with that. She was like her grounding. She helped Willow to explore her powers through her inner core, connecting it to nature and the earth, as magic truly is.

But Tara found that Willow often took 'short cuts'.  Dabbling in expanding the power of lesser spells, sometimes using the 'easy' way to get the spell done, other little cheats that worked, but had a cost. She dabbled in the dark magicks, which really worried Tara. They were powerful; alarmingly so at times. But they worked on emotion, and mostly anger or fear. They were extremely tricky, and could have unfortunate repercussions. Tara did her best to steer Willow away from that power, but there were times she knew Willow was using them. It frightened her. There were times she wanted to speak up, but being naturally shy, she held back. But it was getting to the point where things were getting a bit strained between her and Willow. She knew she was going to have to take a stand soon.

Willow turned towards Tara, seeing her lost in thought. " Are you ok, sweetie?" She asked, a little concerned. She knew Tara often worried about her. More often these days about her use of magic. But it was silly, of course. She was in perfect control. Her magic was stronger, more consistent and easier than every. Tara sometimes was just a big  Worry Wart, you know? But even so, Willow adored her, and wanted to make her happy. Ease her mind if she could.

"Huh? O- oh yeah, I- I'm fine." Tara said, but really wasn't. Her stutter would come out when she was nervous or worried..

" Baby, I'm going to be fine" Willow assured her, " it's just a headache".

"Y-Y-You're getting them a l-lot , Willow" Tara said, concerned." T-T-They're coming more frequently".

" Yeah, but I come to Dr. Tara, and she always makes them feel better" Willows said, smiling. But she was fibbing a little. It did feel somewhat better, but she could feel the pain lurking around, like some creature lying in wait in her head, just waiting for her defenses to be dropped.  She knew from experience that  she wasn't done with the headache for the evening, but she would do her best to hide it from Tara.

Frankly, she was a little worried. She'd been to doctors, even a neurologist,  trying to find out what was causing the problem. But all the tests came back negative. The CAT scan, and MRI showed no irregularities. Frankly, after a number of test, the doctors were puzzled. They just couldn't explain why Willow was getting the headaches, or the frequency. They finally tried testing for migraine, but still no luck. The only thing they could advise was to try to lessen the stress in her life, take things easier, and see if that helped. They were at the end of their diagnostic ropes.

Willow wasn't sure if that made her feel better, or worse. On the one hand, there was no organic reason for her head-pounders. So, she wasn't likely to be dying of any disease or anything. That was good news. But it also left her uneasy. WHY was she getting them, and how could she stop them? She'd taken the doctor's advice, trying to rearrange her life to eliminate as much stress and worry as possible. But some things just couldn't be rearranged.

Like Buffy, for instance. Willow had been flabbergasted at the Bronze, seeing Buffy there, alone. It'd taken her a bit of time to let Buffy see her, because she'd been concerned over her reaction. Finally, with Tara's encouragement, she'd just gone for it, overwhelming Buffy in her greeting. It'd gone well, she thought. In some ways like old times. But at the same time there were things that just screamed out about what'd happened to Buffy.
She looked… pale, and had lost weight. Buffy was never … large to begin with. She now was all angles and bones. It was a bit hurtful to Will's heart to see her that way. Definitely signs of Ice cream deprivation, which Willow had planned on correcting. What was more … upsetting were the scars. Buffy explained how she got them, courtesy of the Watcher's council, and Willow had been very, very upset, though she hid it well. But they really made Buffy look…hard, and cold. The one on her neck looked angry, the one over her eye… oh goddess, what if the creep had been a little more on target? Buffy would've lost an eye, or worse.

But what had been most … alarming had been her attitude. This Buffy, the one she met in the Bronze that night, was totally different from the girl she'd known in high school. That Buffy had been a bit of a cheerleader, could be awfully self involved at times, and she used sarcasm quite effectively. But in her heart she was a sweet, somewhat trusting, and very innocent. She had clear definitions of what was right, what was  wrong. And she so went against wrong.

But this Buffy, the new "Buffy"… it was frightening looking into her eyes. There was a new coldness, a new hardness Willow hadn't ever seen before. She wasn't like… overtly  different. She didn't act all butch, and come on like a really bad prison movie ex-con. But you could see subtle changes. Where before, if she wasn't paying attention, she was often lost in her thoughts. That didn't happen that often. But now, she would often look around, expecting to be jumped, or worse.  Her patience with people, and simple mistakes, was very tiny. That night, a waitress accidentally spilled a drink onto Willow, who laughed it off. But Buffy wasn't laughing. She was ready to tear into the waitress, seeing her as insulting her friend. Willow had to calm her down. This was so Un- Buffy, it scared her.

Buffy, however, had been very kind to Tara… almost taking her on as a sister very quickly. Willow had been very pleased with Buffy's reaction; she'd been somewhat scared how Buffy would react to her and Tara's relationship. But Buffy had treated it like it was the most natural thing in the world… which frankly surprised Will. She finally figured, later on, that Buffy had seen a lot of such pairings? relationships? in prison, and just accepted it as normal now.( or maybe….? Nawwww.. not Buffy. Straight as they come, Willow thought. She was to be surprised later on).Whatever the reason, Willow had been very glad that Buffy accepted Tara so readily.

Buffy, that night at the Bronze, had seemed somewhat restless.. like she had something to do, somewhere to be. She'd never said anything, but both Willow and Tara had sensed it. It'd puzzled them both. They couldn't figure where she had to be. It wasn't until later they knew.

The kicker had come some time later. When Buffy had left town again, with Faith in tow. It'd blown Willow away. She hadn't even known Buffy was visiting Faith at Sunnydale Convalescent,  and then to find not only had Faith awoken, but that Buffy had beat up some police officers, and broke Faith out of there, well, it just was too much for Willow to wrap her head around.

It was something that Buffy hadn't let her in on: her feelings of guilt and remorse over what she'd done to Faith. Frankly, Willow couldn't understand it. After all, hadn't Faith gone all psycho-bitch-homicidal on them? She'd joined the mayor in his plans of Ascension and Rule of Sunnydale. She'd killed at least one guy, and there were rumors of more. She'd come damned close to killing Angel. Willow knew Faith had been gunning for Buffy, too, and would've been very happy to kill her if she'd gotten the chance. So, Buffy's reactions to it all, and her consequent actions mystified Willow. Buffy risked imprisonment for a hell of a lot longer time for what she'd done to free Faith. Faith had been…, well, evil. She'd treated Buffy like dirt, and a half. It just didn't make sense to Willow. But it'd happened, and that added somewhat to her stressing over Buffy.

Willow grunted in pain. She'd not meant to, but the pain had ripped through her before she could cover. She felt her eyes tearing. It was so damned awful, she thought. I wish it'd just go away! The strange thing was it wasn't like fire, but more like a choking black cloud , poisonous and painful, trying to drive her away. At least, that's how it felt to her. Like some darkness settling over her brain, trying to encase her in some dark prison in her mind. She fought it, but it was becoming harder and harder, as the pain increased, and the attacks came more often.

"Willow, honey? A-Are you ok?" Tara asked, nervously. Willow seemed to be getting worse and worse all the time. It scared her beyond belief.

" I'm Ok, Tara" Willow said weakly, the pain having receded for the moment. What was she thinking about again? Damn, can't remember!

Then the worst one yet hit. Willow nearly screamed in pain, clutching her head  and rolling on the bed. She fell off, and went into what seemed to be convulsions. Tara, scared out of her wits, tried to help her, but Willow was just shuddering and shaking on the floor. Tara went for the phone, to call 911. Willow let out a large, deep groan…then she lay still. Tara, alarmed, went over to the now quiescent Willow. She checked her pulse… it was strong. And her breathing…it sounded normal. Willow opened her eyes, and looked up at Tara.

"I'm ok, honey, really" Willow said, quietly." That was bad, I know…but I feel so much better!" She smiled at Tara, and sat up.

"W-W-Will… you went into a fit. I-I-I thought you were going to die!" Tara said, starting to shake. " It w-w-was terrible!"

"Shhh… shhh… shhh…." Willow said, taking Tara in her arms." There, there, honey. I'm fine now. Haven't felt this good in a long time" Willow said soothingly. Tara hugged Willow close, but her face still showed her anxiety.

But, it was Willow's face that was truly telling. As she looked over Tara's shoulder, a small telltale smile came to her lips.

But it was her eyes that were truly fascinating.

For a brief time, they went totally black, and glowed a sickly green color.

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

" I dunno, Giles. I think I'd rather sit this one out" Buffy says, quietly.

" Buffy!" Giles says, growing somewhat excited and frustrated. The former rare, the latter all too common in dealing with his … damn, what is she to me these days, anyway? he thinks to himself. He sighs, and continues. " You have a sacred duty as a slayer, it's part of your destiny. You can't just pick and choose your fights".

" My destiny? Oh yeah. That's been working out so well for me so far" Buffy says, sarcasm dripping for every world, " last time I saved the world, I got what? Two and a half years in prison for it. What'll happen this time? 15 to life?"

"Buffy!" Giles says, more harshly than he intended. He softens his tone, and continues, " that had to do with false evidence the mayor planted, and probably was promoted by the very people we want to fight now. How can you sit back and watch them take over the world, knowing what they did to you?" 
"Watch me, Giles. Pretty much been shoved in my face" Buffy says, tone harsh," that not only don't people care that I risk my life, your lives" she looks around the table at Angel, Cordelia, Gunn et al ," to try to save them from the big bad, but they go out of their way to punish me for it. I guess the old saying's true, huh? No good deed goes unpunished" Buffy finishes up, a smirk on her face," kinda makes me wanna not give a damn".

Giles looks at Buffy with a puzzled and disappointed look on his face. He hadn't realized the depths of bitterness she'd built up. But could he really blame her? The very people who she'd risked her life for, had not only turned their backs on her, but had kicked her when she was down, too. The people who were supposed to be on her side, the Watcher's council, had sent hired thugs to kill her. Even her friends, who knew she was innocent, had been less than supportive. How could he appeal to her better nature when all she got was kicks and punches for doing her job? What could he say that'd convince her?

" Buffy, I'm sorry" Giles said, his voice emotional… very rare indeed," I know you've suffered terribly. You've paid an unfair and heavy price for what you do. More, much more than anyone should be asked to pay. You also know, I hope" Giles pauses, considering his words, " that if there were any way I could make it better, or take your burdens on myself, I would. It's not fair what's been done to you. But, I'm asking… no, I pleading with you, Buffy. Please, please reconsider." Giles stops. He's going to play a card he'd hoped he never would have to play," I asking this as a favor to me, Buffy. I need you're help. I can't do this alone, and I know I'll fail if you don't help me".

Buffy looks back at Giles, and she feels … bad. She knows that Giles has been the only one who kept coming to see her, to try to make prison less terrible, even when she tried to drive him away. She knows he did a lot  for her over the years, been there when she needed her. Now, he's asking to make this a personal favor. She feels torn inside, but she just can't risk that again. And she'll be damned if she's going to risk Faith's life in this… not now, not when she's just found her, no way.

" I'm sorry Giles" Buffy says, sincerely sorry for this, " but I just can't do it again. It just isn't in me".

" Faith, please, talk to her" Angel interjects.

"Angel" Buffy says, her voice less friendly," Faith's on my side on this"

"Uhhh… B?" Faith says, quietly. She so doesn't want to have to do this.

" Faith?" Buffy replies, suspiciously," you're with me on this, aren't you?"

Faith looks down, and shakes her head." I'm sorry, B, but no"

Faith braces for the explosion to come.

"Faith! I don't get this!" Buffy says, her voice rising," after what they've done to you? to me? You can't be  just going along with this nonsense? They …I… what're you saying. I totally don't get it!" Buffy says, confused and hurt.

" B, you know me," Faith says, " you know I'm no girl scout. I don't give a rat's butt about people. Not really. But , B, this is what I do… what you do. This is what we were born to do. Fight the darkness."

" Yeah, our destiny" Buffy says, sarcastically," The Chosen two. Lotta crap. More like, the Crapped on two".

" B, I know you've got every right to be bitter" Faith says quietly," I know that. But, like I told you long time ago. We're better than them. We gotta be. We're warriors, girlfriend. We're born to fight. If we don't, we're just a joke. Don't you see that? This is what we do, like it or not. We fight. The alternative?" Faith says, her own voice picking up some bitterness," is to join the other side, like I did. We saw how that worked out, didn't we?".

" That's a load, Faith" Buffy says, tightly," we can just get up, turn our backs and have a life together. You and me".

" I'm sorry, B" Faith says, regretfully, " I can't. Maybe you can, but I can't."

Buffy sits there, looking at the expression on Faith's face. She can see she's resolute in this, that she's not going to change her mind. Her own face hardens, and she turns back to the group.

" Fine, ok." Buffy says quietly," I'll do it" She turns to Faith," I owe you a life, so I'll fight by your side on this" She turns back to the group, " but get this straight. After this is done, I quit. I'm out. I've paid my debt in full. I'll have nothing to do with any of you again. ANY of you" She stands up and leaves the office, not looking back.

The group sits there for awhile, in uncomfortable silence. Finally, they begin to leave, one by one, drifting off to the things they had to do, until Faith was sitting at the table by herself. She was still thinking over Buffy's last words.

"… Any of you".

Does that include me? She wonders. She gets up, and leaves the office quietly.

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

Faith finds Buffy in the garden off the lobby.

Buffy is staring up at the night sky, her face still locked in the expression she had when she left the meeting. Faith quietly sits down by her, and  looks at the stars.

Not much to see, really, in L.A.  The lights and air pollution pretty much kill the night sky. But it's not really the stars she's looking at. She's trying to think of a way to talk to Buffy, find out exactly what she meant when she left the meeting. Finally, just because she's tired of the silence, she speaks.

" B, what'd you mean back there?" Faith asks directly. No reason to beat around the bush, is there?

" I thought I was pretty clear" Buffy said, shortly.

" Was I included in the " Any of you" ? "  Faith asks.

" I dunno, Faith" Buffy says, really not knowing," I…don't get you. I thought I knew you, but I don't get it. How can you go back and put yourself in danger for them? After what they did to you?"

"What did they do to me, Buffy, that I didn't have coming?" Faith asks, quietly." I went evil, Buffy. I deserved what I got. Period. End of story. They didn't deserve what I did to them, did they?"

Buffy sits silently, not responding.

" I owe them, Buffy" Faith says.

" How do you figure, Faith?" Buffy says incredulously." What'd they ever do for you? Except push you out, let you twist in the wind when the killing of Alan Finch came out. They were ready to ship you to the fucking Watcher's council. And we both know whatta bunch of sweethearts they are. So, how do you owe them?"

"Because one of them, or someone who USED to be one of them, saved my life, B. Someone who used to believe in what they are, what they stand for. Someone I admired, secretly maybe, but I did. Someone who I woulda given everything I had to be. I owe her, big time. Don't think I can ever pay my debt." Faith turns away from Buffy, because she's feeling her eyes sting with tears.

"She was a fool" Buffy says, crossly, " she let them use her, chew her up, spit her out. She knows better now".

"Yeah, well" Faith says, standing." I liked that fool. I fell in love with that fool. I miss her" She starts to leave the garden.

"She's dead, you know" Buffy calls out to her, " dead"

" I know" Faith calls back over her shoulder as she's walking back into the lobby." Not so sure I like who replaced her" She walks through the door, leaving Buffy sitting there alone.

Buffy closes her eyes, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

 To be continued.

A little note to fans of Seasons of Faith( who've asked about it): I've finished the story and posted it on Adult Fan Fiction.net. I can't put the URL here, because it'll get lopped off. If you need it, email me at the address in my profile, and I'll send it along to you. Thanks for asking about it.