Shared Destiny

Author: Norwalker

Part 8 of ?

Summary: Faith asks, in Enemies, " Everybody asks why can't you be more like Buffy. But does anyone ask why Buffy can't be more like me?" So, what if , after season 3, Buffy became more like Faith?

Rating/ Category: Rated R Romance/Angst

Spoilers: Possible season 3 and after spoilers.

Time Line: Departs after season 3

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon , Mutant Enemy and Fox own them.

Warnings: Dark fiction. Character Death happens, please be aware of this. Strong language, sexual situations between members of the same sex. Violence. Possible racial/ethnic slurs that the author in no way supports or shares.

Faith woke up with something tickling her nose.

Kneeling beside her side of the bed was Buffy, holding a rose and brushing it across her nose. Faith tried to look upset, but failed miserably. She started to giggle.

"What the hell are ya doin', nutcase?" Faith laughed, reaching out to stop Buffy's hand. That's when she noticed something was different about Buffy. Something had changed…but in her half fog of sleep, it didn't register right away. Then boom, it hit like a ton of bricks.

"YOUR BLONDE AGAIN!" Faith shouted, scaring Buffy a little. Buffy backed away.

"You don't like?" Buffy said, her expression worried. She wanted Faith to like. She snuck out early to get some hair bleach to get rid of the " Auburn" look she'd been wearing.

" Mmmm I like" Faith said, soft and a little throaty." If you come here, I'll show you how much I like" Faith flirted, pulling back the sheet to invite the little blonde back to bed.

Buffy got a view of a very naked and very sexy Faith, and was sorely tempted to hop into bed. " I mean, after last night, the way she touched me and turned my mind to jelly…Gawd, that was soooo…" Buffy sighs," but got stuff to do" pout, pout, double pout.

" Ya lil sexbomb, if you had your way we'd be in bed 20 hours a day" Buffy giggled. NOT that she'd mind ." But we got to suss out what's going on around here. That's why we're here, after all".

" That sucks" Faith says, pouting." Ok, ok, I'm getting up" She throws off the sheet, and walks to the bathroom, as naked as the day she was born. Buffy just watches her, admiring how…god, she's hot… and how casual she is about being nude. God, I wish I were that confident. Of course, if I looked like her, I might. She sighed, and went over to the full length mirror, checking herself out. God, bony… bony…and bony. I'm surprised I didn't cut her last night. She lifts her top and winces. And gee, wonder how she found 'em in the dark. But she did…Buffy warms a little thinking about how attentive Faith had been to her breasts. Very attentive. She lets her top drop back into place and walks towards the bedroom door, humming. As long as she likes them, who cares? She giggles and calls out towards the bathroom.

"Heya, Lazy, don't be forever in the shower, ok? I'm making breakfast, don't want it to get cold, do ya?" Buffy says.

" Aw, Gee, B. aint ya gonna come join me?" Faith calls back, definite note of sultriness in her voice. Buffy rolls her eyes.

" Yeah, that'll happen. And we'll like get anything done when? Next week, maybe" Buffy calls, giggling.

" Spoilsport." Faith calls, sounding a little perturbed.

" Brat" Buffy calls back

" Tease!" Faith calls.

" Slut!" Buffy replies

" Prude!" Faith teases

" Oh…OH… prude, am I?" Buffy flushes. She heads towards the bathroom, tugging off her clothes." I'll show you who's a prude!"

" Prude! Goody-goody! " Faith mocks through the door," Ice Queen! Ms. Goody-two-shoes."

Buffy enters the bathroom and slams the door behind her, almost naked already. Squeals are heard from inside, along with some cursing and some definite yelps. Then things get quiet…soon to be followed by sighs and moans.

Maybe we should give them a bit of privacy.

Some time later, two sated, slightly elated and definitely squeaky clean slayers make their way downstairs.

Buffy, humming to herself, heads for the kitchen to start something like breakfast, while Faith heads for the living room, plops herself down in the comfy chair, and relaxes.

" Hey, lazy bones, aren't you gonna help me with breakfast?" Buffy complains from the kitchen.

Faith looks towards the counter, where Buffy seems to be getting all domestic(sheesh) and arches a brow.

" Didn't we just have breakfast?" Faith says, her voice suggestive. She licks her lips.

"FAITH!" Buffy says, blushing but still humming a bit to herself. She tries to keep on topic," it's important to eat something good in the morning, keep your energy up"

" I just ate something good" Faith chuckles." Didn't you?"

Buffy turns bright red, and turns away." You're HORRIBLE!" She says, but loving it nonetheless." At least make yourself useful. Call Giles and Willow and have them come over. We have to talk about this new threat. I mean, that's what we're here for, right?"

" Aw, man, do I have to call Red? I mean, we kinda get along like … we don't ." Faith says, complaining.

"Faith" Buffy says, her voice firm," I know you and Will haven't been good friends in the past. Ok, maybe it has to do with you going all psycho on us, and you kinda threatening her life" Buffy chides her gently. Faith gives her a mega glare, "Ok, don't get all hostile on me. You know it's true" Faith rolls her eyes, " but we all have to work together on this , so , make the effort, ok?" Faith just looks heavenward, shaking her head. Wondering if she could have the 'new and improved and bad-assed' Buffy back now, please? She mumbles something under her breath and goes towards the phone.

"What did ya say?" Buffy says, not hearing Faith.

" I said, when did ya start channeling the prom queen again?" Faith says, lifting the receiver. Before she can dial, a hand goes over hers, and the phone is pulled out of her other hand. It's put, not so gently, back on the cradle. Faith looks up into the granite eyes of the blonde slayer.

" Listen to me, Faith" Buffy says, the scar over her eye seeming to throb a little," just cuz I'm a little mellow at the moment, don't for a second think the ' old' Buffy is back. I'm only in this crappy little town cuz YOU said it had to be done. Remember, Girlfriend, I didn't want to be here! I'm only here cuz you got some bug up your butt that you had to do this. Fine. I go where you go, but don't be thinking I'm that tight assed little prom queen no more. She's dead, got it?" Buffy's face is hard and cold, and for a brief second Faith feels a chill in her heart. It's kinda scary how fast Buffy's moods can change.

" Now, be a good girl and make the calls" Buffy says, softening her tone. She hands Faith the receiver and heads back to the kitchen.

Faith starts to dial, then something hits her. " Ummm.. B, didn't you forget somebody?" Faith calls into the kitchen.

Buffy, carrying out some plates, looks at Faith." Don't think so" she says, putting the plates on the table. She turns and walks back towards the kitchen.

" Xan-man… shouldn't I call him, too?" Faith asks.

Buffy stops. You can see her stiffening up." I don't think Mr. Harris will be joining us this time" Buffy's tone is frosty.

Mr. Harris ? Whoa, what's that about?

" What's the deal, B? I thought Xan-man was like, a charter Scooby or something" Faith asks, puzzled.

" Mr. Harris" Buffy almost spits the name," made it perfectly clear that he didn't want to see me anymore. The thing that really bugs me is that he used Anya to do it. Pretty lame, I thought. So, Mr. Harris can …." Buffy doesn't finish, but it's pretty obvious what she means.

" Ok, ok, I didn't know" Faith says, dialing Giles' number. She speaks briefly with Giles, then covers the phone. "Buffy? Giles thinks it might be better to meet at the Magic Box. Cause of Angel. No real way for him to get here this time of day…without him become a critter fritter, that is"

" Fine, whatever. Tell him we'll be there in an hour, then" Buffy says, looking down at her plate, moving her food around. Thinking about Xander, and how they fought, has really upset her. Faith watches her for a second, then ducks around the corner with the phone. She talks to Giles a little more, then hangs up. She comes back around the corner, looking a little like the cat that ate the canary.

" What're you all looking so pleased about?" Buffy says, suspicious.

" Oh, nothing" Faith says, smirking." I just got Giles to call Red, is all. Whew".

" God, you're like a kid" Buffy complains, drinking a little juice, " look, Faith, like it or not, Will can be a valuable part of this. So, get used to the idea you're gonna have to deal with her, and deal with it, 'K?"

'Yeah, yeah, yeah" Faith says, sitting down to breakfast. She's totally impressed. Buffy did it up right, eggs, bacon, potatoes -- the whole nine yards. She picks up her fork and digs in with gusto.

Watching Faith eat is a joy. She loves food, and makes no bones about it. You can also tell she's spent a fair amount of time in public institutions like group homes and orphanages. She really packs it in, her cheeks puffing up a little bit from be crammed full. Comes from the ' get it now, or starve' philosophy of those places. No, she's not a cretin. When she's out, she conducts herself quite properly. She's not an animal. Just, when she's relaxed at home, she tends to revert to older, less gracious manners. Thank god she's got that slayer metabolism. It keeps her from packing on the pounds.

She looks over at Buffy, and sees her playing around with her food. She's barely eaten a bite. It worries Faith, cause Buffy is already thinner than she should be.

" Hey, B, aint ya gonna eat?" Faith says, eyeing Buffy's plate, " Weren't you the one saying you have to eat something in the morning?" Faith gently admonishes her

" Hey, I've eaten" Buffy says, lying through her teeth, "I'm just not real hungry".

" God, B" Faith says, a little annoyed, " you haven't eaten enough to keep an ant alive. You're too skinny as is, girl"

" I had some toast!" Buffy says, defensively, " just let it alone, Faith". Buffy picks up her dish, and goes towards the kitchen.

" No , I won't let it alone" Faith says, following her, " it's not healthy, B, You starving yourself like this. You're all skin and bones."

" I'm not skin and bones!" Buffy shoots back. " Look, if you don't like how I look Faith, ya don't have to stick with me. I'm sure you can find some nice lil plump thing out there to satisfy you!" Buffy turns away from her. She pretends to be busy to avoid looking at Faith.

" God, B, where'd that come from?" Faith says, now really getting pissed, " I'm just worried about you, and you get all pissy at me. God, what's you're deal today, anyway? One minute your all cuddly and sweet, the next you're biting my head off!".

Buffy mutters something under her breath, but doesn't answer.

" What? Didn't hear you, B?" Faith says, needling her.

" I said, if you don't like it, Go!" Buffy says, louder.

" Fine" Faith says, frustrated, " I'll go. I'll see you at the Magic Box. Maybe you'll cool off by then" Faith starts to leave, then stops. No fucking way, she thinks to herself. She turns back.

" No way, B" Faith says, " I'm not leaving 'til we've talked about this. This isn't just today, it's been going on for awhile. What's going on? Why're you being this way?"

"What way?" Buffy replies, being deliberately dense, " I don't got a clue what you're talking about".

"C'mon, B. You're being a total biotch. I don't know if I'm comin or goin with you. It's making me nuts!" Faith says, her frustration coming out." No matter what I do it's wrong. I feel like I'm in some weird dream sometimes".

" Hey, no one's forcing you to stay. If you don't like the way it is , then leave" Buffy says, angrily, " I'm not holding a gun to your head. Go. Leave, see if I give a rats ass" Buffy picks up a plate, but it slips through her fingers. " Damn" She says, upset. She gets angry, and starts throwing plates on the floor. She sweeps her arm out, and hits the dish drainer, knocking it on the floor, breaking more dishes. Still angry, she starts sweeping stuff off the counter, toaster and coffee maker, sending them crashing to the floor.

" Hey, B, Chill!" Faith says, nervous,

" Fuck off, Faith" Buffy yells at her, pulling open cupboards and throwing plates and other stuff onto the floor. Faith comes into the kitchen, to try to stop her, but Buffy whirls on her, her face red from crying. She's been crying all this time, silently, only the tears running down her cheeks. She swings out, as if to hit Faith, but slips on the mess on the floor, and sits down, hard. Angry, frustrated, upset and full of other darker emotions, she starts to hit her head against the cabinets. Faith gets down, and holds her head, stopping her.

"B, please, stop!" Faith says, trying to calm her down. But Buffy keeps thrusting her head against the counter, trying to hurt herself. Faith finally just grabs her and wraps her in her arms.

" Stop it, stop it NOW!" Faith says, holding her tightly. Buffy makes a low, keening sound.

" I don't want this, Faith!" Buffy says, nearly hysterical, " I hate this. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know who I am anymore, Faith. I used to know who I was, what I was about. Now I'm just drifting. I hate being like this. I'm fucking nuts, Faith. I see it in your eyes. I see the fright there. It kills me to see that. I know you think I'm nuts. I just don't know what to do. I don't like what I've become, some hard-ass bitch who hates the world. I didn't used to hate everything, but now I'm all confused and scared. I only see the darkness, Faith. I don't see anything good anymore. What's wrong with me? I … I can't think straight anymore. It's all dark and black, and I hate it!!!!!"

"B" Faith whispers softly," it's ok, I'm here baby" Faith rocks her gently in her arms.

" Why can't I be like before? Why? I don't like me too much. I hate me, Faith. I… I don't like who I've become" Buffy seems more calm, but it's more like shock," I .. want to be happy, I want to be …but I can't be. What's wrong with me?"

"It's ok, honey. It's ok" Faith says, soothingly, " It's gonna be ok".

" No, Faith, it's not" Buffy says, calmer. She reaches out and touches Faith's face, " honey I don't like this. Being this way to you. I don't think… I don't think it's right. Not to you. I'm just making you unhappy and miserable, and I don't want to do that to you." Buffy gently pushes Faith away, and stands up." You gotta go, Faith. You gotta, for your sake. You can't be with some loony like me that'll make you nuts too. You gotta find something else, something better."

" Shut up, B!" Faith says, quietly, " I'm not leaving you. I love you. That means for better or worse. I love you!" Faith says, getting up, " You can shove me away, try to hurt me all you want, and I'm not going. Got it?"

"That's just it, Faith" Buffy said, moving away, " I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to push you away. You're the only thing in my life that makes sense. I love you so much, Faith, it hurts to think of not being with you. But I can't live with the idea that I would make you hate me by being so crazy. Ok, not hate me, maybe, but get tired of me, pity me, all that crap. I can't take that, Faith. I hate the idea of losing you, don't you see? But I can … deal with it better if … it's before it gets bad. At least, I can hope that you'll… that if I get better, I got a shot with you. Maybe, in the future. If you leave cuz I've … driven you away, I might…I dunno…I just don't think I could stand it." Buffy leans against the counter, not looking at Faith.

" B., do you really think you can scare me away?" Faith asks, moving towards Buffy." Been through scarier than this, B. I don't just love you for what you were, B. Or for what you are now. I love the whole package. Even if it's a bit skinny" Faith teases. Buffy doesn't respond, and Faith goes over to her, " C'mon B, lighten up. Yeah, ok, you're psycho-bitch this time. Hell, I can deal." Faith says, putting an arm around Buffy. Buffy shrugs it off, turning away," Yeah, well, swell, B. Ya think so much of me, you think some temper is gonna make me get all shakin' in my boots? C'mon you gotta know me better than that" Faith says, "Hell, girl, you stabbed me, and I'm still here, aren't I?" Buffy winces, and Faith retreats, " Ok, bad example. But you get the point… I'm not easy to get rid of , ya know? Kinda like that bad penny… literally" Faith smiles.

" I don't want to do this, Faith. I don't want to take more from you. I don't want to wind up like before, where I'm sitting by you, watching you in a hospital bed, clinging to life, but not there. I can't bear that again, Faith." Buffy says, turning towards Faith.

"Goddammit, B. For Christ's sake get over it." Faith explodes, losing her temper. Buffy backs away," we're probably gonna die. Ya know that? This thing Giles is talking about is probably gonna kill us. If we get real lucky, we might kill it back." Faith calms herself, seeing how frightened Buffy has become," look, B, I don't want to be dead, but it might well happen. You too. I know you've fought demons before, I know you've won. But it might not be our time this time, so get used to the idea that in a couple of weeks we could be dead. Quit mapping out some future that might not even happen, and dammit, just enjoy what we got now!"

" We could still run, Faith" Buffy says, almost hopefully, "we don't have to do this. We can… go far away. We…can be happy"

" No, we can't run, B." Faith says, resigned, " we can't hide. We're stuck. We're it, the chosen two, and we gotta do this. It's what we do."

"Why? Why?" Buffy asks, " They don't give a damn about us. You think if we die, they'll even cry a single tear? No way. They use us, and throw us away when they're done with us. Why should we do this?"

" Because, B, and I really can't get my head around me saying this, but it's the right thing to do" Faith says, almost not believing she just said that.

" Was it the right thing for them to throw me into prison?" Buffy asks, disgusted," was it the right thing to make you're life so miserable, so abusive you ran to the mayor because he showed you affection? Was that right, Faith?"

" No, it wasn't" Faith says quietly," but that doesn't make it right for us to turn our backs either, B." Faith shakes her head in frustration" God, B, why're you doing this? Why're you making me be the "good" one?" Faith curses and turns away." All I want… fuck it, I don't even know what I want!" Faith storms off to the living room Buffy follows her.

"Faith, wait…please!" Buffy says, contrite." I'm sorry, really…."

" No, Buffy, that won't do" Faith says, turning, her face mottled with anger," I don't need this" Faith cries out, her anger and frustration spilling out, " not now, I don't need this. I need the old Buffy back. The Buffy that knew who the bad guys were, and fought them, no matter what. Who didn't hesitate to do what she had to do. Who lorded it over me because she knew she was better than me. I need THAT Buffy back. The focused, determined, tight assed stick up her butt Buffy. Give me THAT Buffy now!!!"

"What do you want from me Faith?" Buffy asks, desperately, " I'm not Sybil I can't just like switch personalities".

" Yeah well you been doin' a pretty damned good imitation, B" Faith says, acidly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Buffy says, shocked and hurt.

" It means, for the last 6 months, I never know what I'm gonna get. One minute it's all sweet and flowers, next it's bitch of the year, next it's Buffy in breakdown. God, Buffy you've been all over the place, and I can't deal with that now." Faith says," Not with what we might have to face. I need you focused, consistent, and someone I can count on. I don't need you all over the fucking map!"

Buffy's expression gradually changes. It hardens, and her eyes go nearly gray. Her mouth is a hard line, turned down. She turns on Faith.

" Fine. I'll play you're game." Buffy spits out, her fire burning," You want hard ass, that's what you'll get. Let me tell you something, Faith" Buffy says, her tone cutting," you haven't exactly been Ms. Stability either. You treat me like shit sometimes, and others, you just don't give a fuck. So, don't give me all the blame for things not being right, got it? Frankly, tell you what?"

"What?" Faith says, her own voice cool.

" After this is done, so are we. We'll just split, and call it over. No harm, no foul. I mean, what's the point, Faith? You don't like me, even , much less love me, no matter what you say!" Buffy growls," So, lets stop kidding ourselves. We just weren't mean to be together, ok? Dumb me, I thought there was something worth building. Well. blondes are kinda dumb, right?" Buffy says, her smile tight and not pleasant to look at," So, after this, you can stay here, or go. I don't give a damn, cuz I'll be gone."

" Fine" Faith spits back at her, " Fine by me. Go fuck yourself, B. I don't need some whiny, spacey, nut case hangin around me, causing me all kinds of shit".

" Fine" Buffy says." See you at the Magic Box"

" Fine!" Faith says, cold.

" Fine!" Buffy says, not letting Faith get the last word. She storms out, slamming the front door after her.

" FINE!" Faith yells," FINE, FINE, FINE!!!!"

Faith paces the living room, on edge, nervy and ready to scream. She doesn't though, and she doesn't lash out. Finally, on the edge of frustration, hurt, anger and sadness, she stops. She looks around, and then heads for the door.

" Aw, FUCK ME!" She yells to no one in particular, and slams the door after her.

Buffy walks toward the Magic Box, her body coiled like a spring.

" So, she wants me focused, does she?" Buffy mutters, her anger simmering. " I'm too scatter-brained, am I?" She takes long strides, her cheeks red with anger." Who does she think she is?" She walks faster, trying to cool her temper, but each step seems to just make her angrier. " Who was it got us out of Sunnydale when they came for her? ME! Who stole the car, hotwired it and got us to L.A. ? ME! Who thought up ways to make money, so we fucking didn't wind up on the streets? ME! Who made sure she was fed? Clothed? Who helped her get the use of her legs back? ME! ME! ME! Where does she get off, acting like I'm some kinda idiot? If it hadn't been for me, she'd be cooling her heels in Chowchilla, watching time pass her by. But does that matter? Hell no. I'm just some dumb blonde, huh? Just some emotional weepy wimp . Well, just fine. She wants Uber Bitch? I can be Uber Bitch." Buffy is so focused on her anger that she nearly runs over Willow, who is also going to the Magic Box.

" Whoa, hey, Buffy?" Willow says, nearly pushed to the ground by Buffy's advance, " Don't you think you should signal or wave flags or something when you're gonna run someone over?"

" Hey, Willow" Buffy says, apologetically," sorry, wasn't watching where I was going." She helps Will balance herself.

" Really?" Willow says, teasingly," I never woulda figured that!"

" Ok, Will, I get it" Buffy says, lightening up a little," I'm sorry, ok?"
" I dunno, Buffy" Willow says, still teasing, " I think I've gotta give you a ticket or something for reckless walking".

" You're not going to let this go, are you?" Buffy says. Willow shakes her head." So what do I have to do to make it up to you, then?" Buffy continues.

" Oh, I don't know" Willow's voice a little sing-song," maybe I'll be better after a mocha java?"

" Still love your sugary goodness, huh?" Buffy says, smiling a little," good to see some things never change".

" You're buying?" Willow says.

" Like I said, some things never change" Buffy laughs, and they detour to the Espresso Pump.

The two women sit at a table, talking over their mochas. Buffy steers the conversation to the meeting.

" So, what's going on in Sunny D, Will?" Buffy asks, " What's the deal with this "dark lord" character?"

Willow's expression is a little pained. She looks down at her mocha

" Maybe I should let Giles explain that to you, Buffy" Willow says, evasively.

" Will, you know I love Giles" Buffy says, " but sometimes his 'explanations' can really vague things up. I was kinda hopin' you could give me the inside skinny before we meet with him. You know, so I can kinda follow along. Being blonde and all, sometimes hard for me to connect the dots" Buffy says, a little bitter note in her voice. Grrr.

Willow looks like she wants to say something, but can't. She has an uncomfortable expression on her face, and looks away from Buffy.

" Will? What's going on?" Buffy asks, concerned," Is it terrible?" Buffy's beginning to get that sinking feeling she gets whenever they go up against a real baddie.

Willow looks like she's making a tough decision… confiding in Buffy she doesn't want to tell her, but feels she needs to know.

" Buffy" Willow says, prefacing her remarks, " you know I'm fond of Giles too, right?"

Yeah, of course Will" Buffy says, not getting it. A grin comes on her face," I remember you had quite a crush on him at one time…" Buffy teases her.

" Oh for goodness sakes, Buffy" Willow says, protesting and a little exasperated, " That is like ancient history. I was 16 and in high school and wore jumpers and thought he was like cool library guy". She shakes her head," I had a crush on Xander, too, and we know how that turned out. Gay now, remember?".

" You gotta remember I haven't been around all that much, Will" Buffy retorts." Things changed while I was 'away' ".

" Ok, fair enough" Willow says, agreeably. Her tone switches as she continues, " while you were away, Buffy, Giles…well, changed too. He took you being 'away' pretty hard."

" Kinda doubt harder than I took being 'away' " Buffy says, cynically.

" Well… I guess" Willow says, hesitantly, not wanting to upset Buffy, " Thing is, he felt responsible, somehow. Like he failed you. He… ummm… well… he kinda took to drinking…." Willow seems upset having to tell Buffy this.

" Giles?" Buffy says, startled, " Drinking?"

" Yeah" Willow says, looking pained," kinda sad, really. Mostly he did it alone, at his place. But there were a few times in public…" She stops.

" What? What?" Buffy says, fascinated and concerned at the same time.

" I don't like to say, Buffy" Willow says, somewhat upset," it's kind of embarrassing."

"I … I didn't know, Will" Buffy says, concerned. She's thinking the worse.

"T…There's more, Buffy" Willow says, hesitantly. Like she's afraid to tell Buffy the rest.

" More?" Buffy asks, anxiously. This, none of this, had ever occurred to her. When Giles came to visit her in Prison, he'd seemed like himself. Nothing obviously wrong, except his wardrobe.

" After awhile….well…" Willow falters, then continues," he kinda…well… he'd call us together, saying it was an emergency. Some evil was trying to take over Sunnydale, or the world…or something. We'd come…and he'd talk…but it was…he made it up, Buffy." Willow blushes, embarrassed for him," in his mind, it was all… bogus".

Buffy sits stunned, looking at Willow open-mouthed.

" I don't know why, Buffy" Willow says," maybe he was lonely, or maybe he was feeling… useless. But it always turned out to be nothing".

" I don't get it, Will... " Buffy begins, but Willow interrupts her.

" And there were the girls…" Willow says, almost whispering.

"Huh?" Buffy says, confused. " Girls?"

Willow looks like she's ready to die from embarrassment." Yes, girls. Always young, blonde, and petite… kinda like you" Willow said, pointedly." I… understand there was some kinky stuff involving role playing, them being "slayers" and then …well… it kinda went to a sex thing" Willow is almost whispering by the time she finishes. Buffy is in pure shock.

" C'mon, Will. You're making that up. You almost had me 'til that last part. It's a joke, right? Tell me it's a joke, Will" Buffy says, almost sounding panicky.

Willow looks down at her hands." I wish it were a joke, Buffy. I really do" Willow says, sadly, " it was so terrible. It almost became a scandal, but it got covered up. A few of the townspeople nearly beat up Giles, but …it blew over, and he's not doing that anymore".

Buffy kind of shivers in her seat. The thought of Giles…and young girls… and sex… ewwww.

" Oh… My… God, Will" Buffy says, her voice reflecting her confusion and anxiety and concern, " I never knew …it's all so…fantastic".

" I know, Buffy" Willow says, sympathetically," it all sounds like a really bad novel. If I hadn't been here myself, and seen some of the stuff…." Willow lets it fade off.

" Poor Giles!" Buffy says, upset," poor, poor Giles!"

Willow nods, compassionately

" We gotta get him some help!" Buffy says, determined." We have to. He's… we gotta, Will!"

" We tried, Buffy" Willow says, again sounding sad." We even tried an intervention. It didn't work, Buffy. And he's broken no laws, so we can't force him to get help."

"We've gotta do something, Will. We can't just let him go on like this" Buffy says, remorseful. It's all her fault, she knows it is .

Willow looks at Buffy with a sense of sorrow." Buffy, you can't help somebody who doesn't want help" Willow says, " We just kinda humor him, and watch out for him. We hope someday he'll realize his problem, and seek help. But for now, there's nothing we can do".

" Will! That's not right. We need to confront him, make him see his…problem" Buffy says." He'll never get better if we enable him!"

" No, Buffy. When it first started, we tried that. But he gets angry, almost violently so, when his delusions are challenged. And…well, Buffy, his health has declined significantly. He… well, if he gets too angry, he could have a heart attack, or stroke. He could be debilitated, or .. worse".

Buffy looks as if her world has been washed away. Giles, her rock, her connection to the real world, seems to have been made of sandstone, and is washing away in the tide. This is all too much to believe, and it just adds more to her guilty feelings.

"This is just terrible, Will" Buffy says.

" That's kinda why I'm glad I ran into you before today's meeting" Willow says, quietly." Or visa versa. I … needed to warn you about this."

" What do you mean?" Buffy says…then she gets it." You mean…"

" Yes, Buffy. This "dark lord" thing of Giles… it's just another one of his fantasies" Willow says, regretfully." For awhile there, when you first got out of prison? He seemed better. Almost like his old self" Willow says. "Then, when you ran away with Faith, it just devastated him again. He started drinking again, and…well…."

Buffy feels the load of guilt sliding effortlessly onto her back." Oh, God, Will… I just didn't know!" Buffy says, trying to excuse herself, at least to Willow.

" Of course you didn't, Buffy" Willow said, kindly, " How could you?" She reaches out and squeezes Buffy's hand, trying to comfort her.

" What do we do, Will?" Buffy asks, ready to do whatever it takes to help Giles.

" We just kind of humor him, Buffy" Willow says, " we go to his 'meetings', we report back with data, if any exists. When it comes time to fight, we make up some excuse for him not to come along, then we report back, the problem is solved."

"How have you guys been able to keep the demon population at bay? I mean, with Giles out of commission, and no active slayer around?" Buffy asks, concerned for her friend. Sunnydale isn't always good for one's health…or long life.

" Odd thing is, Buffy, after the Mayor? Not a whole lot of demon activity. Sure, some vampires and such. But no big" Willow says." Also, the year you first went…'away', some government secret project came to town."

" Huh?" Buffy asks, surprised." Secret government project?"

"Yeah, though the story got out about it after the accident" Willow says.

"Accident? So not clued in here, Will" Buffy says, puzzled.

" It was called " The Initiative". Evidently a joint military-scientific thing. They came to Sunnydale and set up shop underneath the campus of UC Sunnydale. Soldier types patrolled in secret. They enrolled in UC Sunnydale as students, but it was monsters they were studying. It was so totally weird. Evidently they used one of the dorms as a housing facility , secret James Bond kinda stuff. Anyway, from what was learned later, they captured HST's( Hostile Sub-Terrainians, as they called demons and vampires) and studied them. They were trying to understand them, and 'rehabilitate them". Willow pauses to take a breath.

" Rehabilitate them? God, did they even have a clue as to what they were?" Buffy asks, amazed and somewhat dismayed." Demons don't do license plates, you know!"

Willow smiles," They didn't get into the hocus – pocus part of it, as they called it" Both women laugh, " they were trying to use the demons to create some kind of "Super Soldier". Anyway, something went terribly wrong, and their 'experiment' got loose, and nearly destroyed the compound, killing nearly everyone there. The government shut it down. That's all anyone knows about it".

"Wow! Weird" Buffy says. This is so totally strange. But this is Sunnydale, home of the strange.

" You remember Spike, Buffy?" Willow asks

"Spike?" Buffy almost spits out the word. "What about him? Is he back again? Should I get a stake?"

"No need, Buffy" Willow grins." The Initiative put a chip in his head"

"What?" Buffy says, " A chip? What, to track him or something?"

"No, this is the best part" Willow says, " the chip renders him…harmless."

"Oh, c'mon. Spike, harmless? Please!" Buffy says, scoffing," He's a killer, Will"

" Not anymore" Willow replies, " If he tries to bite a human, or even punch them, or harm them in any way…Bam… a jolt of electricity is released in his head, giving him blinding pain".

"You're kidding, right?" Buffy asks, fascinated. Spike with a doggie collar? Too cool!

" Not!" Willow affirms," Spike is like a dog muzzled. He can't bite anyone!"

"This is too good, Will" Buffy says, laughing," it's too bad I'm gonna have to stake him. This might be fun to watch."

" Actually, Buffy… we kinda don't stake him" Willow says. Buffy looks at her like she's grown a third head. Willow continues," That's the other thing. He kinda helps out with keeping what demons that do pop up , in control".

"HUH?" Buffy is totally throw for a loop.

" Yeah, well… just because he has a chip, doesn't mean Spike has reformed. Not in the classical sense, anyway. He still likes to kill things. And the funny thing is, the chip doesn't prevent him from attacking demons. So, since you and Faith weren't here…he's kinda been doing the patrolling. We help him out".

"Alright. Now I know the world is spinning backwards. Giles has gone fruit roll-ups, and Spike is doing the slaying? Oh, god, what next? You're gonna tell me that Richard Wilkins was really a nice guy?" Buffy is totally out of her depth here.

" Well… no!" Willow says, " But the rest is true".

Buffy shakes her head, and then notices the clock on the wall.

"Shoot, we're late, Will!" Buffy says, standing up. She stops. She's not wanting to do this." Do we really have to do this, Will? It feels wrong, lying to Giles!"

" I know, Buffy" Willow replies, understandingly," I know. I hate it too… but it's for the best." She looks at the clock" You go ahead, I'll get the mochas this time." Buffy looks shocked." Oh, come on, I got them occasionally, before!"

" Yeah…every third Thursday of the week" Buffy said, laughing.

" Go, go. Don't be too late, he'll get upset!" Willow chides her, pushing her along.

"Ok, ok, Will. Geeze, let me bask in the moment of not paying" Buffy laughs, and walks away.

Willow watches Buffy leave, and her face, which has looked all concerned, changes to a mask of cynical amusement. She shakes her head in disbelief.

"So easy…so damned easy. So ready to believe" Willow says to herself, chuckling.

She gets up and goes to the counter to pay.

Faith is sitting with Angel, Giles and Xander when Willow and Buffy walk in.

She sees the two women talking together, and sees how comfortable they are. She feels her anger rising. So, B gets all pissy and nasty to me, and look who she goes running to! Betcha she's told Red I'm the bitch queen from hell. Not that it matters. Red already thinks that, anyway!

" You're late, aren't you?" Faith asks sugar-sweet and a little cloying. " Where ya been?"

" We kinda ran into each other on the way" Willow replies, " Well, Buffy nearly ran me over, actually" Buffy blushes. Willow continues, "We stopped for a mocha".

Buffy gives Faith a look, and if Faith had been a vampire, she'd be dust by now. The temperature in the room seems to drop by 40 degrees.

" What business is it of yours, anyway, Faith?" Buffy asks, her tone frosty.

Willow notes the tension, and she can barely suppress a grin. She tries to look concerned, but that fails, too. She stands quietly next to Buffy.

" My, my aren't we the defensive one?" Faith mocks." Something I should know?" She says, suggestively.

Buffy blushes, and replies, her tone quiet but angry, " No! Nothing!".

Willow goes and sits next to Xander, letting Buffy sit in the glare all by herself. Faith notices , however, and turns to her as she sits down.

" So, Will…was it all sweet and delicious? Everything you thought it'd be?" Faith says, her tone sugary, but the acid just underneath.

Willow turns beet red, and looks at her hands.

" You're mocha, I mean" Faith continues, innocently. Yeah, right.

" Faith! Knock it off!' Buffy says, in a low, growly tone.

" Knock what off, B?" Faith asks innocently," just wanted to know if you had a good time".

" If you both could contain yourselves" Giles says, sternly, " we could get to business here".

Buffy, throwing a quick glance at Willow, turns to Giles, her face open and sympathetic.

" Of course, Giles" Buffy says, " We're all ears!" She then notices Xander, and her expression hardens.

"What's HE doing here?" Buffy asks, irritated. She nods towards Xander. He looks away, embarrassed.

" He's part of the group, Buffy" Giles says, firmly." Whatever your personal differences, he's still part of the team".

" Fine" Buffy says, not wanting to argue with Giles. Not with his 'condition'. But she's not happy about it, nonetheless," lets get down to it, then. I've got better places to be".

Angel looks around the group, his expression troubled. He's not liking the dissension and tension he's feeling in the group. Something's going on here. Something bad.

" Better places to be, Buff?" Xander puts in, foolishly (if you ask the author),"where's better for an apocalypse than the hellmouth?"

" Someone talking to you?" Buffy says coldly.

" Stop it, all of you!" Giles interjects, weary of the sniping," This is serious business!" Willow and Buffy exchange a glance. The rest look to Giles, a bit guilty. He continues," We've done some research, and found that we're facing something we haven't faced before"

"What's that, Giles?" Buffy asks, humoring him.

"Yeah, G, what's the deal?" Faith chimes in, ignoring Buffy. Who promptly glares at her.

" Angel and I have done some research, and based on the evidence, we feel were facing something powerful." Giles continues.

" Powerful, how, G-man?" Xander asks.

" A god" Giles says, face grim.

Buffy looks at Willow, who shrugs as if saying "see what I mean?"

"Actually, Giles, to be precise, a demi- God" Angel says.

"Yes, true. A demi- God. Still… rather more powerful than anything we've faced before." Giles adds." Even with two slayers, this is going to be a rough fight".

"Demi-God?" Willow asks, " What does that mean, exactly?"

" A god in a lesser pantheon of Gods. Actually, Uber Demon might be appropriate, too. They are certainly more powerful than you're average demon, but still are limited in their powers. They don't have the same capabilities as a full god".

" Indeed" Willow says, musing," that's interesting, Giles".

"But don't get too cocky" Angels says," this still isn't going to be a walk in the park. These demi-gods can be tricky, and powerful. The one were facing, if we're correct, is pretty nasty".

"Who ARE we facing?" Faith asks, exasperated with the boogah-boogah talk. " Where is it, and how do we kill it?".

" It's Set" Giles answers." The Egyptian deity of darkness, death and chaos. His origins are unclear, but it seems he was the enemy of Osiris, and actually killed him. Horus, son of Isis and Osiris, had revenge on Set, and Set was killed by the council of gods. However, only his physical form was killed. His essence remained, but being inimical to this plane of existence, cannot remain long here. To rule here, Set needs a host body to inhabit.

We recently found that Set's cult, the Cabal, has set up shop in Sunnydale. Who they are, when they meet we don't know. But we suspect they are trying to resurrect Set, and bring him forth. Part of his plan, from ancient texts, is to open the hellmouth, and let loose the chaos upon the earth. Not a pretty scenario."

" One weakness we've found out about Set" Angel continues for Giles, " is that he requires time to fully control the host body. He's vulnerable, and relatively powerless until he has total control. It'd be best if we could discover who Set has taken over, and try to exorcise him from the host, if possible. But, if not…"

"Kill the host?" Buffy asks, " We'd have to kill the host?"

Angel nods.

" I don't like that idea" Buffy says, firmly.

" Neither do I, Buffy" Angel says." Another thing. Once Set takes full control of the body, there's no way to separate him without killing the host. So, it's imperative we find him before he controls the host completely!".

"Maybe Tara and I can find a separation spell. Some way to drive Set from the host?" Willow pipes up. She looks at Buffy, who looks at her, puzzled. She rolls her eyes, indicating this is foolish talk, it's all to humor Giles.

"That'd be excellent, Willow" Giles says, almost as if cued." That way we can drive out the god, and still save the innocent".

Something is nagging at Buffy. Angel. She could see Xander and Willow humoring Giles, so he wouldn't get upset or violent. But Angel? Somehow, it just doesn't seem like he'd be part of this. It doesn't add up. But, Willow wouldn't lie to me, Buffy thinks. She's never done that, and I can't believe she'd start now. So, what's going on here? Maybe Angel still feels guilt from his torturing Giles 4 years ago. Maybe he feels he contributed to Giles' insanity.

She shakes her head. It's all so confusing. She wished she had someone she could talk to … someone she could trust. Like Faith. But that's not going to happen. Damn.

Soon after, the meeting broke up. Buffy found herself walking home alone. Willow had offered to come with, but Buffy politely declined, saying she needed some time alone. Which was true enough. She needed time to think. Things were all confused now, and with all that was going through her mind, she wasn't sure who to trust. She cursed herself out, too. For fighting with Faith. She could use Faith's no nonsense view of things right now. But Faith had pretty much disappeared after the meeting, without a word to Buffy.

Buffy found herself wandering through Restfield Cemetery. Not really patrolling, but if she came across a vamp or two, she wouldn't mind a little dusting party. Killing vamps always seemed to have a clearing effect on her mind. Maybe she could stop by her mom's grave. She hadn't been to see her mom since she got back. God, she missed mom. She'd know what to do. She always knew what to do. She'd know just the thing to tell Buffy, to help her straighten things out.

God, why'd she ever break up with Faith, anyway? It seemed so surreal now. And utterly stupid. Faith only wanted her to focus, be there rather than being in her mind so much. Why couldn't Faith get that Buffy wanted to be all together, know what she was doing? It wasn't her choice to be this way. All scattered like a shot gun blast. Why can't she see I'm scared? Buffy wondered, why can't she understand? Doesn't she ever get scared? Wonder why were doing all this? I don't even know who I am anymore. I just wish I could figure it out. Dammit, why does she have to be so damned stubborn?

Buffy, lost in her thoughts, doesn't hear the click of the lighter. It isn't until the voice breaks into her train of thought that she's aware she's no longer alone.

" Hullo, pet. Long time" Spike says, grinning. Buffy whirls around, stake in hand.

"Spike!!!"

To be continued