Chapter Three: On Your Own
The roar of the Harley seemed to finalise it, the fact that he was really leaving. Logan shook his head, watching from the window, as one of his closest friends sped away from him. He sighed and lifted his beer to his lips, a beer, if things had gone differently, he would now have been sharing with Remy.
Logan swallowed and turned from the window. This was Remy's choice, he knew that. There'd been many times when he'd taken off, to deal with things. Now, it was simply the Cajun's turn. Nonetheless, Logan hated goodbyes.
Ororo Munroe tried not to think as she watered the plants in her room. She couldn't help but note that Remy had given her half of them. It was hard for her to believe that he was actually gone.
" Chin up, Stormy. Ya' probably won' even notice I'm gone."
Faintly, she'd smiled.
" Don't call me that. And Remy" she touched his arm " promise me you'll be careful."
" I always am, Stormy, ya' know dat."
It had been hard watching him after it had happened, he just hadn't been himself anymore. They'd all been affected and devestated by it but it seemed to have gotten to Remy the most.
In a way, she reflected, it was almost better that he was gone. Now she wouldn't have to bear the torture of seeing him so miserable. Still, it was painful and she knew she would miss him.
Gambit watched the scenery pass by with empty eyes. It pained him to leave the X-men, his family. But it couldn't be the same anymore, not after. . .
The road was a lonely place, it always had been. There had been points in his life where he'd welcomed that solitude, but now it simply depressed him. He knew he'd brought this upon himself but the pain was still there. He was helping his friends, he reasoned, by leaving. Remy had seen the pain in Ororo's eyes after it had happened, seen her watching him. He knew that he was causing that pain. He wasn't being himself, couldn't anymore, and it hurt Ororo and many of his other friends. He couldn't bear it.
Here he was, then. On the open road, nothing but his thoughts for company. Inwardly, he cursed himself for being such a coward. All of the X-men had been affected but none of them were running away. They were dealing with it, helping each other deal with it.
The fact of the matter was, Remy was scared. Scared because he was starting to doubt everything. But how could he help but doubt? If they couldn't save all those poor kids from being massacred, how, then, could they do anything else? They were supposed to be heroes, the X-men, and they hadn't been able to save a bunch of innocent children. How could they hope to be much help to anyone else?
Gambit didn't know how he was going to deal with this fear, these doubts. His only hope was that, somewhere here on the rood, he could find some way to cope, like he always had. The only thing was, this time, he didn't even know where to begin.