Putting off exam revision is a wonderful thing, isn't it? I certainly think so. In any case, here be the next chapter of the story. Not that much happens, and what DOES happen has no point. But, you already knew that.
I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Nor do I own a jet plane. It's a sad world, isn't it?
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For I Am Pharaoh------------------------------------
Chapter FourruoF retpahC
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Compared to the previous flights they'd had, Yugi had to admit this one was the most relaxing. If you could consider Kaiba's constant attempts to throw Ryou across the plane, and Bakura's random squawking from the wing, and Yami's ever-changing methods of flying relaxing. It just goes to show how bizarre the other flights were, he thought. In any case, he was quite enjoying the relative calm.
"So what do you reckon, Yugi?" Joey asked, waving a stack of ten dollar bills in front of him. "Two to one odds sound fair?"
"Oh, I don't know," sighed Yugi, absently swirling a finger around the edge of his cup. "I'd kinda like to place our chances of surviving this a little higher than that."
"Hm . . . how about two to one odds that Yami cracks before he becomes leader and marries Britney Spears?"
"Now that I'll bet on," Yugi grinned, handing over his cash.
"Pleasure doing business with you, my man. Hey Kaiba!" Joey shouted, standing up and gesturing with his money in his direction. "You up for a wager?"
The aforementioned CEO looked up with a grimace. "Not right now . . . I have pressing matters to attend to." To prove his point, he picked up his crowbar again and wedged it between himself and Ryou, trying in vain to pry the sobbing boy off him. Mokuba, however, jumped up from his spot next to Kaiba and ran up to Joey.
"I'll place a bet!"
"Sure thing kid! What d'you wanna bet on, and what odds?"
"Hm . . ." Mokuba chewed his finger a bit in thought, then looked back up at Joey with an evil glint in his eyes. "I bet that by the end of the trip, my brother will be in love with Ryou. Three to one odds."
"Mokuba!" Kaiba howled in shock, managing to get to his feet with Ryou the Klingon still attached. "How could you?!"
"Come on, you're cute together!"
"He's got a point Kaiba," Joey said in false honesty, beaming at the pair. "Why, your Coke can could be the Best Man at your wedding."
"You leave Bob out of this," Kaiba growled. He then hoisted Ryou up and threw him into a chair. Stalking back to his corner, Kaiba pulled out his dented Coke can and started stroking it. Being disturbed by that already, Joey decided to ignore the fact that he was also whispering 'My precioussss' under his breath.
"Um, yes, well, thanks for betting with me Mokuba." Joey picked up his backpack full of cash and sat next to Tea. He then started counting all of it. "100, 200, 300, I love to count! Ha ha ha!" Tea just gave him a weird look. Clearly the man had watched too much Sesame Street in his youth and it had affected him adversely.
Ryou, who had landed on his head, flipped over rightways again to sit in his chair. The lights around him dimmed as he curled into a little ball. Yugi looked over, but couldn't see much because the lights had gone out, so he got up and went over. As he got closer, he was slightly disturbed to hear sad violin music in the background but ignored it.
"Hey Ryou," he said, dropping into the seat next to the white-haired boy. The music screeched to a halt and the lights flared up again.
"Oh hey Yugi!" Ryou said happily, uncoiling himself. "So what do you reckon the weapons will be like?" Yugi blinked. Hadn't Ryou been terminally depressed and weepy just five seconds ago? Was it really possible to switch that quickly between emotions?
Warily eyeing the insanely happy smile on Ryou's face, Yugi put it down to brain damage and forgot about it.
"I thought you would know, Ryou. I mean, Bakura's your yami, after all." They both turned and looked out the window. Strapped to the wing, Bakura was having a rollicking good time waving some streamers around.
"He doesn't tell me that much about what he does," Ryou answered. "He likes to keep his secret plans secret. He only tells me about the Uber-Evil Destroy Yami ones."
"How come he tells you about those?" Ryou shifted and looked uncomfortable.
"I dunno if I should say," he mumbled, glancing in the cockpits direction.
"You can say it," Yugi said, patting him on the shoulder. "We're all thinking it, and Kaiba doesn't let a minute go by without saying it." As if to prove his point, there was a loud shout of 'That bastard pharaoh!' from the other side of the plane. "See?"
"Oh, okay then. Bakura lets me see those because he knows that I . . . that I hate Yami too."
"Congratulations Ryou!" Yugi shouted, shaking hands with him. "Admitting that you hate someone is the first step towards spiritual healing!" A group of cheering people appeared out of nowhere and handed Ryou some flowers, causing him to blush insanely and rub the back of his head.
"Well, gosh, I don't know what to say," he gushed. "I guess I'd like to thank the Academy, and my mother of course-"
"WHAT ABOUT ME, RAIYOOOO?" came Bakura's voice from outside.
"And Bakura! I couldn't have admitted my hate without you, because you created the hate inside me!"
"YEAAAHA, I SURE DID!" cheered Bakura, waving a 'Go Team' banner in front of the passenger window, having somehow broken out of his restraints to get there.
Suddenly, the plane jerked violently and spun upside down, promptly killing Ryou's happy moment. Everyone started screaming as the plane continued to rotate at faster and faster speeds. Or, well, most of them started screaming. Yami was too busy being asleep at the wheel to notice.
"Aaaaargh, we're gonna die!' yelled Joey as he crashed into Tristan. "What the hell is that idiot doing?!"
"Eek!" shrieked Tea, colliding headfirst with Ryou, sending them both into girly crying fits.
"That tears it! I'm going in there," Kaiba declared. He somehow managed to spin himself into the unobstructed back of the plane and kicked off against the wall, propelling himself missile-style towards the cockpit. There was a tremendous smash as Kaiba tore through the wall.
Trying to watch what Kaiba was doing, Yugi saw to his horror that they were in a nosedive. He also saw Kaiba start throttling Yami, who was apparently unconscious. "You idiot! Can't you work any piece of technology without it blowing up in your face?! You'd think it was hard or something! Christ, you can't even program the VCR without it blowing up-"
"Kaiba!" Yugi cried, somehow banging into the ruined cockpit door and holding on for dear life. "I think there are more important matters than strangling Yami right now!"
"Oh yeah, like what?" Frantic, Yugi pointed at the cockpit windows.
"LIKE THE FACT THAT THE GROUND IS RUSHING UP TO MEET US VERY VERY FAST!!" Kaiba turned and looked out the window.
"Oh . . ." he muttered. And then something slammed into Yugi's head and everything went black.
~*~
There was something tickling his face. Mokuba grunted and turned away, but whatever it was came back. Opening his eyes, he came face-to-face with what looked like-
"AAAAAARRGH!" he shouted, kicking the Pikachu away from him. The yellow rat rolled over about five times, then stood up unsteadily. It gave a very disgruntled "Pika" before prancing off over the wreckage and out of sight. Staring after it, Mokuba counted himself lucky that he hadn't been killed by the deranged animal. Death by Pokemon was one of the worst fates imaginable.
Remembering what had happened before he blacked out, he looked around. The plane was a complete disaster. If it could even be considered a plane anymore. It seemed like the wings had been torn off, and only the body of the plane had made it to the ground. Blinking, he stood up and tried to spot his brother amongst the wreckage.
"Seto? Seto, are you there?" he called, looking under a broken pot plant. He heard a muffled groan from behind him. Hurrying over, he dropped to his knees and started digging through the rubble. After tossing aside numerous chairs, tea trays and Ryou's flowers, he saw part of a shirt. He poked it. Seto didn't usually wear green, did he? "Are you under there Seto?"
"I'm not Seto," coughed the green-clad person. "I'm Joey. Or I was before that freaking idiot crashed the plane. For all I know I'm missing both my legs." Pushing a piece of timber away from his head he sat up on his elbows. To both his and Mokuba's surprise, there was another groan from under him. Joey lifted his arm to find the very distinctive white trenchcoat of Seto Kaiba.
"Uhhhgh . . . damn . . . Wheeler?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"Good. Now GET YOUR ELBOWS OFF OF MY CHEST!" Joey sprang up like he'd been electrocuted. A very annoyed and dirty Kaiba popped out of the wreckage behind him. "I swear, if you start making a habit of falling on top of me, I'll report you for sexual harassment."
"Oh come off it, Kaiba, nobody likes you enough to harass you." Joey was promptly silenced by a Coke can to the head.
"We should find the others," Mokuba said, looking around.
"Not Yami," Kaiba and Joey said in unison, then glared at each other. "You stole my line!" they both shouted, and proceeded to have a fist fight. Mokuba just watched as Joey pinned his brother to the floor and shouted "Victory!" before being kicked across the cabin. However, instead of hitting the wall of the cabin, Joey flew further and landed outside of the cabin some 20 feet away.
Joey rubbed his head as Kaiba and Mokuba exited the plane to stand with him. He looked up, then past them. "Hey, you know what? I don't think that's the whole plane." Sure enough, he was right. It was only half of the plane. "I wonder where the others are."
"In the case of Yami, hopefully a galaxy far far away," growled Kaiba, hauling Joey to his feet by his neck.
"Wait a minute," Mokuba said, looking around. "Where are we?" They all stared around, before their gazes all landed on a flashing neon sign that said 'Welcome to Duellist Kingdom. Please leave your moral inhibitions at the door. Entrance fee: one soul'
"At least he managed to crash on target . . . useless git," Joey said, glancing around at the trees.
"I severely doubt it was intentional," muttered Kaiba.
"We should head to Pegasus' castle then. I mean, that's the most logical place to go," observed Mokuba.
"Why is that logical?"
"Because . . . um . . . because . . . well, everything happens in the middle of the island. It's like an unwritten law." The three of them stood in silence for a few minutes, watching the trees rustle in the breeze. The quiet ended when a bag of popcorn hit Joey in the head.
"Ow!" he cried.
"Hurry up and do something!" shouted someone from the audience.
"Why I ougtta-" he started, storming off in the direction of that very impatient viewer. He was stopped short by Kaiba yanking the chain around his neck and cutting off his air.
"Hold it, puppy. We're going to Duellist Kingdom."
"Fine," Joey grumbled. "Let's go then." He tried to march off in the opposite direction, only to be stopped again by Kaiba choking him with the necklace.
"It's not that way, it's this way."
"It is not, you stupid moron, it's this way! I know this island like the back of my hand." He paused and looked at the back of his hand. "I don't remember that tattoo being there . . ."
"Listen, it's this way, and that's final."
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"IS NOT!"
"IS TOO!"
Mokuba just sighed as the two started pulling each other's hair and clawing with their nails.
~*~
Meanwhile, in the audience . . .
~*~
"This story sucks, you know?" someone said to their friend.
"I know!" he replied, slurping some of his Coke. "I mean, they need friggin' prompts to keep moving."
"And I don't detect any logical storyline," interjected a girl in the row before them.
"Hell, why are we even still here?" the first guy said, standing up. "Let's go see something interesting."
"Yeah! Let's go see Kill Bill!" The three of them cheered, and left the cinema. Unnoticed by the kids, the author watched them go. Sighing, she turned back to the screen where Joey and Kaiba were still having their bitch fight.
"Idiots," Vappa said, biting into her ice cream. "Don't they know that Kill Bill is an R rated movie?" She grinned malevolently. "They'll be back . . . they always come back. Ahahahahaaha!" The other people in the cinema turned to stare at the insane author, laughing her head off in a very Dr. Evil-ish way.
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Meh. I don't like this chapter much. But you'll be back. You always come back. Ahahahahaaha!
- Vappa